Four Point Play
by jaxicen
Summary: Naomi is popular girl, team captain and star player of Roundview's basketball team. Emily's the low profile, shy girl who's good at her studies. They strike up an unexpected friendship and connection.
1. The Player

Hi! I wrote this on a whim. It's a different style from my other one. (Not not abandoning that one, just need some fresh air) It's gonna be a alternate POV thing. And it's lighthearted too! As in I hope so. Again, I've a rough plan in mind. Thank you if you've read through this and like it; it means something to me.

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><p><strong>Chapter One – The Player<strong>

**Naomi**

My alarm clock beeped incessantly. I snapped my eyes open and in one swift motion, I reached over to the clock at my bedside and silenced the alarm. I swing my legs over the bed and place them on the floor, shaking my head and rubbing my eyes from sleep.

I looked at the red digital lights on the clock – six-thirty. Stretching, I stand and headed to the adjacent bathroom from my room and quickly washed up. I tied my shoulder length long blonde hair into a ponytail, put on a black sports bra and pulled on a red sweat resistant singlet and black knee length shorts. I grabbed my big Nike sports shoulder bag and stuffed in a change of clothes, textbooks, notes and a water bottle. Slowly opening my door I quietly tiptoed out of the room, my socks effectively muffling my footsteps, past Mom's room and down the stairs. I didn't want to wake my mom up, knowing how tired she'll always be from work.

I love my mom. She's my only drive to want to do better. Growing up without a father, she's always been there for me, through the stages of my very short seventeen years on earth. She worked hard to make ends meet, always making sure there's food on the table every night when I'm back from school.

I sat at the base of the steps and laced up my well-worn AND1 shoes. They're white with a thick black lining along the outer edge of the sole and the brand of the shoe is embellished in a gold logo. They were a present from her when I started my first year in junior college and I wear it every time I play. It's like as though she's there supporting and cheering me on.

I quietly let myself out of the house and unchained my bicycle. Fastening my bag securely around me, I got on and started pedaling in the direction of school. It was a cool morning; the sun was just only creeping out behind the horizon, making pastel orange watercolour tones in the sky. It is only past seven and my classes don't start till nine but this has been my daily routine.

I get to school early everyday to practice shooting hoops. You see, I'm in the girls' basketball team in Roundview. I loved playing basketball when I was a kid. During my early teen years, I would always go to a nearby basketball court in the park near my house. It all started when I watched my first basketball match on tv when I was twelve. I was so enthralled, amazed and captivated by all the tricks the men on tv did, fooling their opponent with their quick thinking and most of all doing those slam-dunks. I found that was the NBA I was watching. I followed almost every match I could. I would just sit in front of the tv for hours watching match after match, and that would simply make me happy. I vowed that I would do a slam-dunk one day.

Of course I found out that would not happen after I started to play the game. I saved up with my little pocket money and bought my first basketball ball from a thrift shop. It was second hand but in good condition. I loved how it felt on my hand and how it bounced, emitting that thudding sound that has since become a soothing sound to me.

I usually played alone in the court when it's empty. Being an only child, you get to learn how to do most things by yourself. I rarely made friends in primary school and it was worse when we moved out of our little town to Bristol. But it was okay; I learnt how to be on my own.

Starting out wasn't easy. Being a small kid, my arms were thin and weak. At first I could barely get the ball up and into the hoop. I was a little deflated but my determination was much stronger. Weeks and months of practice finally strengthened my arms, they started forming toned muscles and I was pleased. From just shooting hoops, I progressed to three-pointers, to learning the various ball handling techniques, and gradually the tricks. These of course took me a few years. Everyday I would get home from school, finish my schoolwork and head out to shoot hoops. The court has slowly become my place of solace.

When I was fourteen, I met this bunch of guys at the court one day. They were short of one player for a three-on-three friendly match. At first none of them were excited to get me on their team, which is understandable. Girls are usually thought to be less skilled then guys, whatever. But I proved my team wrong. I was good at getting the ball in the hoop. I don't play as aggressively as they do but when I get the ball from a pass, which is not very frequent I can tell you, I would definitely get it through the hoop. The guys on my team realised this advantage and fed me more balls eventually. I was like the dark horse.

I still had a lot to learn, my layups were still shaky, I could dribble the ball well but when it came to getting past an opponent, I was having difficulty. Having practiced all the time on my own, I had no opponent to get past and that was my weak point.

I made friends with the guys. Especially this guy called James Cook. He was a sandy brown haired guy, well muscled for his age of fourteen. We struck up a friendship instantly. He too like me, didn't have a dad. He did have a mom though, but she didn't give a fuck about him. She just threw money at him, put him through school but couldn't be bothered about what he did. I was just thankful my mom wasn't like that.

He grew up with me. We were from the same school and even went to the same junior college. I continued to play basketball while he moved on to football, saying that's where you get all the girls. He was good at football too, great in fact. He's always going on and on with me about his many temporary girlfriends and shags, sometimes giving me too much detail. Luckily he never ever tried to get it on with me. He had always seen me like a brother, which is more than fine with me. Not that I will ever be interested in him. He and I have something in common: Girls. I came out to him one day after he was trying to set me up with one of his mates who was interested in me. Instead of running away and calling me all sorts of names I knew he was capable of, he just gave me the biggest shit-faced grin ever and thumped me on the back, declaring that I would be his wing-man from then on and we'll have a great time together getting the girls. That was a great fucking relief to me. I couldn't afford to lose this friend I've come to be so fond of. I've never had a best friend but I saw it in James. I think it's a silent agreement that we're best mates.

I guess when you're best mates with someone and when you see them everyday, they start to rub off you. James is loud, maybe obnoxious if you first met him, and he's always trying to pull. Being his "wing-man" has its benefits. Girls that flip him off would always end up with me. I daresay that the better part of his charm rubbed off on me. I was getting attention being captain of my team and winning matches. I don't exactly crave for attention but it finds me. I just do what I love and I cant help it if people take notice.

Girls want to possess me; the guys want to get in my knickers. I just take it all in, happily I must add. I was having the time of my life in the first year. Girls, they just fling themselves at me once they knew I was playing for the girls team. The only thing that was 'tarnishing' my reputation was that I wasn't interested in a serious relationship. I've had three girlfriends in the past year, none of them lasting more than three months. It's either I get bored of them or they become too clingy. It always ends up with the girl crying when I end things, which leaves me rather annoyed because before I get together with any girl, I'll tell her that I'm not into any serious relationship. I know what people whisper behind my back. They call me _'The Player.'_ It doesn't bother me, not much. I shrug it off. James just loves that I have a reputation as that, that dickhead. He's no better than I am.

James has two sides to him. To me, he'll always be known as James, the boy I met when I was fourteen in the outdoor court. To others, he usually introduces himself as Cook – the boy that doesn't give a fuck about anything. He's got this wild exterior side to him that turns people off. To me, he just lives harder than anyone else, if there is such a thing. He doesn't take things too seriously but he sure works hard for what he believes in. He rarely shows his softer and caring side, but I can honestly say that I'm one of the rare few that truly knows his other side.

But I'm really happy right now. I've a best mate, a group of friends that love me for who I am, I'm playing basketball everyday and I have a girlfriend.

I cycled through the school gates, hoped off my bicycle, chained it to one of the lots and hurried into the indoor court. Seven-thirty, just about enough time to warm up, shoot hoops, take a quick shower and head for the nine o'clock class.

I dumped my bag on a bench, retied my ponytail and did some stretching exercises. After three quick rounds around the court for warm up, I grabbed a ball from the cage where we store our balls and positioned myself at the first marker at the shaded box under the hoop. It's always been my routine. I'll start from the same spot, getting five shots in for each marked point in the shaded box, proceed to the free-throw line and get ten shots in, and start practicing the three-point shots from any position at the three-point semicircle. Occasionally I'll switch it up, practicing dribbling, especially with my weaker left hand, and practicing the crossover and bouncing the ball between my legs, passing it to either hand. Every shot in the hoop, every successful layup, every shot from the three-point line, gives me satisfaction. I feel like I'm getting better every time I practice.

I love my morning sessions by myself. It's just my ball, the hoop and me. No one comes into the court that early; the girlfriend doesn't wake up that early; James is most of the time late for class or just on time; there's no one there to bother me. I'm just focused on practicing. It's like my drug.

I shot my last three-pointer and flung the ball back into cage. I have twenty minutes to take a shower, change and head for math class. I swear that class is the bane of my life. Try as I might, I struggle to understand the mind-boggling formulas crawling about on the page. I barely just scraped through my exams last year. This year is going to be tougher. I'm one month into the final year and I already have not a clue to what's going on in math class. Fucking hell man, I gotta buck up if I want to get through this.

I quickly soap myself and showered, changed into a decent tshirt and jeans and headed for class.

"YO BLONDIE, WAIT UP."

I turn my head, recongising the loud voice.

"James. For the hundredth time, stop calling me that." I lightly smacked his head as he bounded up towards me, collar carelessly propped up, his face spotting a big grin. Behind him was Freddie and Effy.

Freddie playes with James on the same football team and they've become good mates. Effy is captain of the cheerleading team for my basketball team. I once was interested in her. Just once. She's hot, tall, and brunette, with delicious long legs. But she showed no interest in me so we became good friends instead. I'm not sore about that. Besides, she's together with Freddie and they both look really happy together. Her mom, Anthea, is my basketball coach, that's how I got to know Effy. Anthea's one feisty lady. Really focused and totally know what she's doing. She's the reason why my team prospers. She really knows how to pick us up when we fall, and push us past limits we're not even sure we'd be capable.

"Naomikins, how's your weekend?" James ruffled my hair affectionately.

"Very good James, stop doing that! You're messing up my hair! How's yours?" I ruffled his hair, which was rather pointless.

"You're such a girl." He snickered. "There was this girl last night…"

He continued, updating me on his latest shag with vivid details as usual as we walked to class.

Math class was a drag. Try as I might, I gave my one hundred percent concentration but still failed to grasp the concept of the topic. It was such a relief when I finally heard the bell go off, signaling the end of the class. I nudged James who had fallen asleep midway. I don't know how he does it, but his math grades are still a fraction better than mine despite sleeping in class. Guess I'm really not cut out for math.

"Naomi could you please come to the front." My math teacher Angie called out.

I frowned at James who also gave me the questioning eye. What could Angie want with me? Maybe to reprimand me for my terrible test grades, I reckoned.

I made my way to her desk and waited as Angie cleaned the whiteboard.

"Emily could you also please come to the front." Angie called out again to a passing girl.

The girl came up and stood beside me. I turned to her to give her a nod in acknowledgement, the kind of nod indicating that it must be bad news if the teacher called us up after class, and the we're-in-it-together agreement.

I caught her eye and was momentarily stunned. She was looking up shyly at me through her thick lashes. Her eyes were a deep chocolate brown colour and her cheeks were a little pink. She was wearing a simple blue cardigan over a top and a yellow skirt. Her hands were clasped behind her back as she fidgeted shyly beside me. She had this amazing long dark brown hair that fell past her shoulders and a thin metal headband held her fringe back. I eyed her soft rosy lips and I unconsciously licked mine. Woah, fuck me sideway and on my back, where did this pretty girl come from! I racked my brains and realised I did see her before, but can't quite place where.

Angie was done with the board and settled down on her chair behind the desk as Emily and I stood in front of her.

"Naomi, your grades for the last math test were dismal. You really need to improve on them if you want to get into a good university next year." Angie addressed me.

I nodded dumbly at her, totally agreeing that I needed to do something about it soon.

Angie continued, "This is why I'm getting Emily to help you. She's the best student in class. For two times a week after school, you have to stay back for two hours. Emily will tutor you until your grades improve."

"No I can't! I've got basketball practice!" I protested loudly, alarmed that I would have to be tutored by a stranger. _I'm Naomi Campbell; I don't need any help!_

"Nonsense!" Angie raised her voice. "You should set your priorities straight Naomi. You're practicing every day. It's time you channel half of your passion for basketball to your math grades and maybe you could excel in both."

I glared furiously at Angie and then at Emily who was looking determinedly at the ground, completely avoiding my eye. It wasn't her fault I got to admit but I was fucking pissed.

"You don't understand! I've got games coming up, I'm captain, I need to be there training!" I yelled.

"So reschedule your trainings. That is final. You shall start your sessions with Emily, starting from tomorrow. Emily, you will update me on your progress with Naomi. Don't you dare skip those sessions Naomi or I'll have you do the session with me." Angie sternly eyed me.

I huffed. Great, I admit I might need some serious help to pull up the grades, but to be singled out by Angie and thrown into getting tutored was bruising to my ego.

"Oh fucking hell whatever. Are you done now?"

"Language Miss Campbell." Angie reproached me.

I rolled my eyes, grabbed my bag and stormed out of the classroom without even taking a last look at Emily. I realised she hadn't even uttered a word throughout my whole ordeal.

"Remember, two-thirty tomorrow in this classroom." I faintly heard Angie call after me as I heard the door slam shut.

I whipped out my phone and pondered for a second who to call. The girlfriend? Or James? Nah… and I hit James' name on my screen. He picked up after two rings.

"Cook where the fuck are you? You can't believe what Angie is putting me through…"


	2. Happenstance

Thanks to **fookyeahskins, M and shewritesforher** for kindly leaving one!

Enjoy, I'm glad if you do.

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><p><strong>Chapter Two - Happenstance<strong>

"Katie will you fucking hurry up!"

I stood at the base of the stairs in our house and yelled at my twin sister who was fuck knows where, probably still putting on her makeup. I tapped my foot in annoyance and glanced at the clock, grumbling under my breath. It's the same thing every morning, she'll use up most of the hot water in the shower, try on a minimum of three outfits despite already "deciding" what to wear last night, take ages to put on her makeup and lastly, which pair of horrendously high heels she would put on.

I would think after all these years of sharing the same life together, I should probably get used to it, but I never did. We spent seventeen years together, living in the same house, sharing the same room and sharing most of our clothes until we were sixteen, thankfully. When we proceeded to college, I had enough of having the same matching clothes and developed my own taste and style, which Katie thinks it's rather ugly. I can't be arsed. No way I was going to wear similar skintight short skirts with leopard print tops that flaunted excessive cleavage and painful five-inch high heels. Heels are sexy, I have a pair them but they're three-inch tops and I don't wear them to school.

I've always been in Katie's shadow, always the younger, less popular, less pretty twin. I was pretty much non-existent, people don't seem to see me even if I stand next to Katie but it's alright, I don't want that kind of attention she draws. I've never had a boyfriend; she had plenty and had a reputation for shagging more than half of Roundview's football team. No thanks; I'd rather not have that reputation. But she's my sis, I still love her, in a sort of weird twin way.

"Alright I'm done." Katie came down the stairs with a top that was different from what I saw ten minutes ago.

"Finally." I huffed.

"Don't be such a grouch, I don't know why you always want to reach so early."

"Better early than late." I retorted.

"Yeah yeah you're _such_ a nerd." She emphasized and rolled her eyes at me, exiting the house.

We caught the bus and sat together, as always, on the two-seater seat. Katie did her makeup again and texted while I just rested my chin on my palm and gazed out of the window.

My life's okay at the moment I guess. I've a few albeit close bunch of friends; I'm doing well at school, getting good grades in all my subjects. I can't ask for more. Well actually I would but that'll be equivalent to wishful thinking.

We alighted at the stop. I checked the time on my phone and hurried in.

"Are you going to get that coffee from the vending machine again? I don't know why you like it, it tastes fucking awful!" Katie called after me. "Fine. I'll just meet Danny."

I waved to acknowledge I heard her but didn't turn my head back.

I quicken my pace, turning left and right through the corridors, weaving past the slightly thickening crowd of students. Finally I slowed down and casually passed by indoor court that had one of its doors thrown open. I was in luck. It wasn't often that the door was open; usually they were closed or slightly ajar. These may be inconsistencies but one thing remained constant – the girl that was practicing inside them everyday.

I headed to the vending machine that was just situated outside, threw in a few coins and dispensed one of the drinks, I'm not too sure which, I don't care, and sat on the bench that was just outside the doors, slowly sipping on it.

I have a secret. I have the biggest crush on Naomi Campbell. The tall five foot six blonde haired popular girl, star player of the basketball team, with the clearest and bluest dangerously heart stopping eyes I've ever seen that would make my heart thump and knees go weak. Only my closest friends know about this, not even Katie. She can never know about it! She hates Naomi, maybe because Naomi's popular and all but mainly because Naomi's gay. I think Katie has a problem with that.

Me? I don't have a problem with that and I'm not gay… well I don't know actually; Naomi's been my crush for years. I've never felt anything like that for another person or boy. We were in the same secondary school, in a different class though, but I'll occasionally see her around in school. At that time, she had shorter blonde hair, not quite as tall, but still slim and pretty. I thought this crush would go away after I went to junior college but who knew? She ended up in the same school as I am, with that best mate of hers. At first I was jealous of Cook. They seemed so close, like they were going out but one day I saw her snogging a girl by the stairs, which I hurried away, and then the rumours started spreading, I knew which team she played for. Although that incident made me even more jealous of the girl, I was sort of happy, in a way.

I knew it was impossible for her to even fancy me or even take a second glance at me. We were in the same school for so many years yet she wasn't even aware of my existence. Plus, I'm usually Katie's shadow, I stay out of most parties, and I don't gather attention to myself… I don't like it, so it's no wonder really. I found out about her daily routine one day when I passed by the court. From that day onwards I've been trying to watch her every time I could. Isn't it just fucking pathetic or what?

But really, I love to see her play. It's just amazing how fiercely passionate she looks on court. I'd really like to see her play up close. Usually I would be somewhere in the middle of the stands during those inter-school matches, and that's already breathtaking. I just want to be at the front row, cheering her on, watching her move with the ball as one.

Sure this view where I am at now is completely rubbish. I could only just see her but I can't be choosy. Besides the inter-school matches, I won't be able to see her play on other days. I certainly can't sit in during her training sessions. Besides, I'm too shy to even talk to her! It's seems like I'm stalking her but – she's rather stalkable. So the drink in my hand is a cover for being not so blatant in my stalking activities. I've got to hand it to my attempt at subtlety.

I watched as Naomi took a last shot and kept the ball away. I crushed the empty cup in my hand, binned it and slung my bag over my shoulder. The day started well, I got to watch my crush play, that's enough. Having ample time, I slowly made my way to class.

"Emily."

I felt a tap on my shoulder and spun around; it was JJ, one of my close friends.

"Hey Jay." I smiled broadly at him.

"You look very nice today Emily. Just an observation. And your face, it's different this morning, it almost seems like it's… shining." JJ rambled on. "I can think of two reasons. One, you got laid, which is rather impossible. So it must be the second reason. You managed to watch Naomi this morning."

"JJ!" I quickly placed my hand on his mouth. "Too loud!" I looked frantically around me for anyone who might have overheard. There wasn't anyone in this particular corridor, thankfully.

"Mmm smmmie." He tried to speak with my hand over his mouth. "I'm sorry." He repeated in a hushed tone, once I removed my hand. "So it's true." His mouth curled until a sly smile.

"Yes." I grinned widely, knowing how pathetic I sounded, like some over obsessed fan girl.

"But you usually see her in class too, isn't it good enough?" He questioned and frowned.

"It's not the same. She looks different when she plays, there's this energy she emits which is rather mesmerizing." I gushed.

"You're totally smitten aren't you?" He smirked at me.

I sighed and my shoulders slumped. "Yes Jay. Unfortunately. It's rather fucking stupid isn't it? She's just someone I would never get to be friends with."

He put an arm around me and rubbed my shoulder, "Maybe you will. Never rule it out. Anything could happen." He gave an assuring smile.

"I really hope so Jay." I replied uncertainly.

"Come on let's get to class." He held out his arm and I linked mine through his, and chattered as we walked.

We were only in the same class as Naomi for this year. Quite a number of students didn't get pass the final exams last year and were retained, so they redistributed the students and Naomi happened to join my class. Imagine my surprise and excitement when I found out. Maybe I could possibly talk to her if I dared. But then Cook was also transferred to our class and Naomi mainly stuck and hung out with Cook and her gang of popular friends so there was no chance she would mix around.

"Emily could I have a word with you?" Angie called for me once I stepped in, while JJ took his seat.

"Sure." I made my way over to her desk where she sat.

"Could you tutor one of the weaker students, just twice a week for two hours? I know it's something extra but I really hope you could help since you're the best in the class."

"I don't mind Angie. Anything to help." I gave one of my for-teacher smiles. I really didn't mind, besides I usually didn't have a lot on after school.

"That's great Emily. I'll call for you again after class." Angie smiled, looking pleased.

"What did Angie want?" Katie questioned as I sat beside her.

"Just wanted me to help out to tutor someone twice a week after school."

"Thank fuck she didn't ask me to do it." Katie threw up her hands dramatically.

I would've liked to say that her grades weren't exactly fantastic but I bit my lip.

"Did she say who it is?" Katie added.

"Nope." I secretly and selfishly hoped it was Naomi but it couldn't be could it? To me, popular students and star players are like… smart and stuff. Maybe it's just how they appear to be in the movies? Y'know the popular, smart and pretty girl and the ugly, nerdy guy having a crush on her.

"I wonder who's the unlucky one… Oh fuck what if it's me!" Katie grabbed my arm frantically.

That was just so bimbotic. I rolled my eyes and looked pointedly at her, "Why would she tell me to tutor you after school when she could've told me to do it with you at home."

"Yeah you got a point there." She looked relieved.

I saw Naomi walked into class with Cook beside her, talking at the top of their voices. I quickly dipped my head and fiddled uselessly at the papers and pens on my desk. I wanted to kick myself. After all these times, I still can't look at Naomi in the eye or even lift my head and look at her when she's looking in my direction. No wonder she doesn't know I exist because she only sees the top of my head all the time.

"Why are you blushing?" Katie's voice brought me to my senses.

"No I'm not! It's the weather, I'm feeling a little warm." I tried to cover up by lamely flapping my hand at my neck to indicate I was hot.

"Oh alright." She shrugged and continued texting on her phone.

The lesson passed by quickly. It was easy; I'd already gone through the chapter beforehand so I knew exactly how to do the questions. Yeah call me a nerd, whatever. Since I didn't have many activities, I might as well spend the time wisely getting good grades for an easy entry into any university.

Angie dismissed the class and I was really anxious to know who was the student I would be tutoring.

"Naomi could you please come to the front." Angie called out.

My eyes widened. You gotta be fucking kidding me. Her? Naomi Campbell needs help with math? I was suddenly quite aware of my frantically beating heart and almost sweaty palms.

Katie mouth fell open. "Oh my god, you're going to be tutoring that lezza." She scrunched her nose up in disgust. "Don't let her charm you and get into your pants. She's got quite a reputation for that." She stood up and swept her hair, "If I'm you I'll try to turn it down. I don't want her to turn you gay."

I internally screamed. Oh Katie, the problem isn't with Naomi turning me gay. I… don't even know anymore!

I stood up with her, hoping I could leave quietly with Katie and maybe Angie would not catch me in time.

"Emily could you also please come to the front." Angie called me as I was going to pass by.

I should be jumping for joy, shouldn't I? It was like I struck lottery, and a rather big prize in fact. I was going to finally talk to the girl of my dreams, the crush I had for years, and yet my mind was saying 'no' in repeat mode.

I timidly stood beside her and Naomi looked at me. AT ME, probably for the first time in my life. Oh god she was so tall. All my girly mannerisms kicked in unconsciously. I looked up at her, clasped my hands behind my back, because I really didn't know what to do with them, am I supposed to wave? – and smiled shyly. I swear my knees almost wobbled when I peeked at her crystal blue eyes that were looking into mine. I could have died on the spot, being the happiest girl ever because Naomi acknowledged me. Her tongue came out to wet her lips. It was too much. I jerked my head back to staring at the floor. Oh Emily, you're completely useless aren't you?

Throughout the whole conversation between Angie and Naomi, I listened quietly, still looking at the floor. I could almost feel Naomi's eyes flashing deathly looks at both of us. I almost felt bad for her, needing to be tutored by me, who she probably wouldn't want anything to do with. It must be bruising to her ego. Most popular students would feel rather insulted.

"So reschedule your trainings. That is final. You shall start your sessions with Emily, starting from tomorrow. Emily, you will update me on your progress with Naomi. Don't you dare skip those sessions Naomi or I'll have you do the sessions with me." I nodded mutely at that.

Naomi grabbed her bag and stormed out of the class with Angie calling loudly after her telling her the sessions were going to start tomorrow.

"I'm sorry Emily. You probably should know by now that Naomi's got a temper since you two are in the same class." Angie turned to me. "You really need to push that girl. Her grades are slipping and it's not going to do her any good if she fails the exam. Her chances for applying for university next year would be slim."

I finally found my voice. "Not to worry Angie, I'll do the best I can."

"You'll do that." Angie smiled warmly at me. "Now hurry along. Don't want you to be late for the next class."

I found my friends waiting outside of the classroom for me. JJ, Thomas and Panda were all spotting huge grins on their faces.

"We heard that." JJ was beaming at me.

"Your dream's come true!" Panda squealed excitedly.

"You must make the best of it Emily." Thomas was also smiling.

"You guys…" I rubbed my hands over my face in exasperation. "Naomi's probably gonna hate me for this."

"Why would she?" Panda took my hand and started swinging it as we walked. "She barely knows you. She'll have to thank you instead for getting her grades up."

I shrugged. It was unexpected but I guess it can't be that bad. This is my one chance to finally get to know her, to finally know what she's like, to spend two hours with her. And I'm actually ordered to do that. All these years of looking at her from afar are coming to an end.

"I can hear you thinking from here." JJ lightly tapped my temple. "Relax."

"You're right." I admitted and smiled. "It can't be bad, can it?"


	3. Rocket Scientist

**Chapter Three – Rocket Scientist**

**Naomi**

So here I am, leaning against the wall outside of the classroom door. I have my big purple Urbanears headphones on and tapped my foot to the music as I waited. I was early for today's session with Emily.

Yeah I kicked up a great fuss about being tutored. I couldn't see past my elephant sized big ego but I went home and turned it over in my head. As much as I hate to admit it, I did need help in my math. I had to get my grades up if I wanted to enter the university next year. Anyway come to think about it, Emily was rather pretty. I'd rather have her than some fugly, greasy, cross-eyed boy that rather stared at my ass or tits than help me improve my grades. It was a situation full of win. I just might be the one getting distracted instead.

I know I have a girlfriend and I we get along rather well. Still, sometimes I can't help myself from looking at pretty girls. But just to get this straight, I won't cheat on my girlfriend.

From my peripheral, I saw her coming up from the stairs. I smiled inwardly; she was looking rather pretty again, a nice skirt and cardigan over a top again. I reckon that that's probably her style; it's nice.

I slipped off my headphones as she came up to me. Her eyes widened.

"Why do you look so surprised?" I raised an eyebrow at her, faking a little of my bitchy side on her. "Did you think I wasn't gonna turn up?"

"Yes. I mean no! I don't know…" Emily shook her head and lowered it, her fringe covered a fraction of her eyes and her cheeks were slightly pink. She looked so cute and nervous.

Woah wait a minute. Emily's voice, now where did that come from? I hadn't expected that husky tone to emit from a petite sized girl. I sort of remember Katie's voice, always loudly attracting attention, borderline on squawking like a ruffled bird and with a slight lisp. I'd expected Emily to sound something like her, they're twins after all, but this was surprising, fascinating in fact.

I laughed in reply, to put her at ease, "Come on. Let's get this over and done with. I gotta go for practice later." I opened the classroom door, "After you."

She quickly shuffled past me into the class, looking around and choosing a table to use, finally settling on one. She sat on one chair and gently placed her bag on another, removing the textbook as she waited for me.

I pulled out the chair beside her and flopped myself on it, throwing my bag and shoe bag on another. We fell silent for a moment.

"So... I'm Naomi. Don't think we've properly met." I first broke the ice by giving her a big grin and extended my hand towards her.

"Emily." She took my hand and shyly shook it with a tiny smile. Her hand was small and felt warm and soft. It felt good in my hand but the contact was far too short for my liking. Once again I was drawn to her dark brown hair and matching chocolate brown eyes.

"You've a twin sister am I right? Same height, same hair, rather interesting taste in fashion, reputation for shagging loads of the guys on the football team; I assume you're nothing like her?" I asked the obvious, wanting to create conversation but wanting to hear more of that raspy tone in her voice again.

"Damn right I'm not. Glad you noticed that." She flashed me a bright smile, making me feel pleased. "People usually don't notice our differences or even notice me at all." I noticed a sad edge to her voice at that last sentence.

"I'm sure they're missing out knowing someone like you." Those words slipped out before it went through any filter in my mind. I had a sudden notion to assure this girl that she wasn't invisible. I barely knew her yet I'm already comforting her. I guess I knew how it was like being in a crowded room yet feeling invisible.

I was once like her. When I was much younger, my mom and I used to move around the country, never settling down permanently. I was never in the same school longer than a year. This didn't help in the friends department. Before I could form a firm friendship with anyone, we had to pack up and move. It wasn't my mom's fault, jobs were scarce, my dad was non-existent and I was still young. My mom worked hard to put me through school as much as she could, sometimes working two jobs a day. But the amazing thing about her was that she was still optimistic about life. Sure we had it hard but she always never failed to cheer me up and be there for me when I was sulking during my early teenage years. It was only when we came to Bristol and she got a better paying job in a café that we managed to stop moving about.

"But you barely know me." Emily exclaimed in surprise.

"I guess we better should then since you're holding my fate in your hands. I'll have to charm you into not ratting on me if I skip a couple of these sessions with you." I winked at her in good fun. She blushed again. Mission accomplished. I made a mental note that it's going to be my hobby to make her blush. I just liked to see her all shy and cute.

"We'd better start, or I'll have to report you for distracting me and wasting time." She playfully said gesturing at me to take out my books.

Distracting her? I wondered what she meant by that.

"What don't you understand?" She flipped through the previous tutorials.

"Everything."

She frowned, a little crease appeared on the bridge of her eyebrows and I so wanted to impulsively reach out and smoothen it. _Campbell just what the fuck are you thinking! Keep your hands to yourself!_

"You can't be serious. I'm sure there are certain parts which you do."

"Nope." I threw up my hands and waved them dramatically in surrender. "Totally mind boggling, not a fucking clue."

"Maybe I could start from the first chapter, build the initial foundation and redo a couple of questions from the tutorials. Would that be good?"

"Anything you say madam. I'm all yours." I threw her a mock salute and she chuckled, her low throaty laughter settling warmly in my stomach, making me strangely happy.

I shifted a little closer to her side, immediately getting a delightful whiff of her hair. It smelt like something fruity. Her hair fell around her shoulders and I almost wanted to reach out to touch it to get a feel of it. I was positive that it would flow like soft silk through my fingers. Suddenly realising what my mind was thinking again, I mentally snapped myself out of it. _For fucks sake, you've just met her and she's helping you, you've also got a girlfriend so keep your tongue in your mouth, you're seriously just as bad a James sometimes!_

* * *

><p>Emily was great. She really knew her stuff well, it's no wonder she was top of the class. I absolutely benefitted more from her than any lesson in class. I paid more attention to her than Angie to be honest, mainly because I was rather drawn to her voice. At times I would unintentionally drift off just listening to the way she spoke, noting the rising and falling of her tone and the different words where her voice would break and become slightly huskier. She would somehow notice I'd drifted away and nudge me gently and patiently repeat it again. I didn't mind, not when I could listen to her all over again.<p>

I threw down my pen at the third chapter we were about to start.

"Now this is the shit I completely don't get."

"Really?" Emily raised her eyebrows at me, "Seems like you didn't understand anything from chapter one actually." She grinned at me playfully.

"Cheeky." I smirked at her, liking how comfortable we got over a short time span. "But this one really got me. I mean, what the fuck is that curly line for!"

"That's integration, didn't you pay any attention in class?" Emily said a little exasperatedly.

"I tried!" I defended myself, "But Angie's always going too fast. Not everyone's a genius like you."

"I'm not – I'm not a genius." Emily mumbled. She probably thought she was being a little condescending.

"No I mean it, you're pretty smart." _And the pretty part too._ "You should feel good about that." I looked at her and smiled sincerely.

"Thanks… you're better at politics than me though." She averted her eyes and blushed, her fingers playing with the ends of her hair. She was obviously not used to compliments. "Shall we continue?"

I groaned, "No! Can we call it a day?" I gave my best petulant pout, crossing my arms and putting on my badass delinquent attitude, looking at her with sad puppy dog eyes.

I saw her eyes flick to my lips and back to my eyes within a microsecond and I suddenly felt a little self-conscious.

"I guess it's about two hours and we've made some progress…"

"Yay!" I lifted my hands into the air in victory.

"You make it sound like it's a torture learning from me." Emily gave a small smile but her eyes looked unsure, even a little afraid.

"Definitely not! I'd rather take your lessons than Angie's anytime." I assured her. "This has been great. I really needed it more than I thought. I'm glad she made you tutor me rather some dickhead that's more interested in my tits."

She chuckled a little uncomfortably and looked at me with those brown eyes. Just _looking_, in the way that was indescribable, like I was the most important person in the room (well I was the only person anyway). Her eyes were reflecting off a tiny shimmer of light. I noticed her big and perfectly shaped almond eyes and how her lashes curled without the help of mascara. It was mesmerizing. My eyes flitted over her other features; her neatly shaped eyebrows and cute button nose, lastly settling on her rosy pink lips that had curled up into a smile. I think I held my breath for a bit as I felt my heart thump faster as we shared a small and brief moment just looking at each other and smiling.

She looked down first, breaking the eye contact and I cleared my throat abruptly.

"Think I better get to practice. The team's waiting for me." I shoved the papers and books into my bag and picked up my shoe bag.

I saw her open her mouth and hesitate, closing it again.

"Anything?"

"Do you… mind if I watch you – I mean sit in to watch your team train?" Emily stuttered and looked expectantly at me.

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. That was a first. None of my girlfriends have ever expressed an interest in watching me practice with the team. Sure they'll always be at every match cheering for team and I but they never really wanted to sit in during practice. Once, one of my ex-girlfriends had to wait for me to finish my practice before we could go out. She complained I took too long to round up a session and take a quick shower and gave me a cold shoulder for a couple of days. Anyway from then on, I never arranged a date after practice; I never want to go through that kind of shit again; plus I never could gauge how long I would stay in the court. Even better for me, I could take all the time I wanted.

I probably held the silence a tad too long because she looked embarrassed.

"Sorry… Maybe it isn't a good idea. I – "

"Yes!" I blurted out loudly. Now just where did that come from? She was looking uncomfortable and I didn't want her to be. "You're welcomed but don't you think it would be a waste of time? I'm sure you'll have other things to do, places to be at."

"Really?" She was looking at me with a huge smile on her face. Just a simple thing could produce that wonderful smile on her face that's somehow making my heart dance awkwardly in my chest. "Nope nothing much on later. Kind of pathetic I know."

"Hey." I instinctively lifted her chin that she had lowered again with two fingers and brushed away a few strands of hair that had splayed across her cheek. My fingers tingled as they came into contact with her smooth skin. I withdrew quickly, like I had been shot by static upon realising what I had done; seeing her eyes widen and a tiny blush creeping into her cheeks. "Not at all," I could only managed a small smile back at her because my stomach had knotted itself when Emily flashed me another happy smile.

We chatted a little as we headed down to the indoor court. I'd barely known Emily but I was comfortable with her. I'm actually not an extrovert as people generally make me out to be at the first encounter. I try to be friendly, but that took a while for me to become what I appear to be now. But after the initial stage, I usually slip into silence, gladly letting James take over the talking. His volubleness makes up for my occasional interjections. That's why I usually love to be around James. I could retreat like a hermit into myself and feel comfortable once again. This has worked perfectly with the girls I've dated because they love a listening ear and I seem to be good at that.

But on court I was a different person. It's like I have a double personality. Naomi on court is different from the Naomi off court. I was the team captain and I take that seriously.

"Fi-fucking-nally" coach Anthea spat out as I arrived on court with Emily trailing shyly behind me.

"Sorry I was having extra lessons with Emily. Guys, Emily. Emily, team." I did the introductions with brevity. "She wants to sit in and watch us practice."

"We do have names you know." Ashley, a well muscled girl with short black hair, the team's power forward rolled her eyes at me and introduced the rest of them.

"I know! You're Katie's twin sister! I've seen you around." Shannon exclaimed. She plays centre. A rather tall girl, couple of inches taller than me with long auburn hair in a ponytail and bright green eyes.

"I'm really nothing like her actually." Emily smiled pleasantly and shook hands.

It does seem that Emily's trying to distance her association with her twin sister. I like that; we all need to have an identity for ourselves.

"Definitely not." Shannon grinned back.

"Alright enough of your girly chatter." Anthea cut in, "We've got a practice to start. Naomi, why don't you hurry the fuck up and sit your new girlfriend down somewhere where she can drool over you."

"Coach!" I yelled, my face turning red. "She's not my new girlfriend!"

I looked frantically at Emily whose face had turn beetroot red, refusing to make any eye contact with anyone, staring fixedly at her shoes.

Anthea just gave a flick with her hand dismissing my protest. My teammates were grinning widely at me like a bunch of drugged Cheshire cats. I gave them a deathly stare and grabbed Emily by the elbow, who seemed to have become immobile, to the stands.

"Sorry about that." I tilted my head addressing them. "Annoying bunch of twats. Coach's no better. They think that every time I bring a new girl, she's automatically my new girlfriend. I can't believe my reputation has become like that." I dumped my bag unceremoniously on the bench and whipped off my baggy t-shirt. Unzipping my bag, I fumbled around for my singlet noticing that Emily was still silent. I looked carefully at her and noticed she had her face turned away from me, still furiously red. "Emily?"

"Y-eah?" She turned back at me as I was putting on my team singlet and slipped on my sweat wristband.

"Gotta go now. I promise you it's dreary, according to the statistics collected from ex-girlfriends. You can just leave if you're shit bored."

"But you're never good at math, how'd you know you got it right?" Emily smirked at me and I laughed. "Anyway I brought a book," she patted her bag. "Don't worry about me okay. Just practice hard."

I felt oddly delighted at that. Hardly anyone outside the team, besides my mom and James, has encouraged me just for a simple and routine practice session. People usually cheer us on when we're in the match but they'll never really know how much hard work we put in during practice. It was not as simple as it sounds, just practice some random shooting, dribbling or different plays but we had to get our fitness level to top notch. It includes exercises like sit ups, shuttle run, box jumping, squats and even strength training, just to name a few. The mental test is when we get on court, facing our opposition team to the screams and yells of a whole lot of spectators. But the adrenaline rush is fucking awesome.

And hard I did train during that session. Something in me wanted to impress that girl over there that was reading her book but occasionally looking up and flashing me a bright smile every time I happened to look over, like she was reassuring me that she wasn't bored, even though she had her book out. Okay not exactly happened to look over at her. I just instinctively searched out for her, hoping she was still around and feeling rather glad she still was.

"Great job." Anthea barked at the team after the training was done. "Kate, we just have to work on increasing your vertical jump, so that you can get that height over the defense. The rest of you keep it up." She thumped us on our backs and bade us to the showers.

I jogged to the stands where my bag and Emily was. She had kept her book and was standing up with a smile on her face again. She hadn't left.

"You were great!"

That sounded really genuine. Though I've always heard it many times, somehow Emily made me feel like I was praised for the first time.

"Thanks." I replied a little shyly. "I better shower now."

She nodded, "I think I should be going too. Thanks for letting me sit in."

"Glad to know you didn't get bored."

"See you." She flashed another happy smile, gave a little wave and turned her back to leave.

I glanced at the clock in the court, it was close to six and I was hungry. My mom wouldn't be home to make dinner so I had to settle it myself. A wild idea came to me.

"Emily!" I shouted.

She turned around looking surprised. I was just thankful that my teammates had all gone into the showers.

I jogged up to her. "Say… do you want to have dinner with me, I mean – I don't have dinner at home. If you don't mind – We could – If you don't have to be home – I mean –"

_Smooth Naomi, smooth. Why the fuck are you stuttering? Why are you even nervous? Just two friends having dinner, not that she would consider you a friend yet, but – ARGH, bad idea, abort now!_

"I'd love to." A smile exploded from the gorgeous face of hers.

I think I equally matched that with one of mine instantly. _Score!_ I mean… "Great!" I was delighted. Emily didn't seem to notice my pathetic stutter.

"Just let me text my mom."

"Right. Give me fifteen minutes!"

I hurried into the showers and showered at breakneck speed. I brushed my hair with my hands and put on some deodorant. Yelling goodbye to my teammates, who are taking their time, I emerged from the lockers and saw Emily patiently sitting on a bench and texting on her phone. She looked up at me and smiled as I approached her.

"Where to?"

"I know just the place."

.

.

With my bike between us, I pushed it as we walked to a fast food diner a few blocks away from school. I chained it up outside and headed in and got a table by the window, looking out into the street. She sat at the table while I ordered at the counter for both of us, identical set meals, a cheeseburger meal with fries and diet coke.

I settled comfortably into the squashy old and beat up red seat across Emily.

"Thanks! I'm so fucking hungry now." Emily said enthusiastically as she open the burger wrapper.

I noticed she lifted off the top bread, scrapped off the chopped onions and pickles, and instead neatly laid a row of fries horizontally over the beef patty, topping it up with chili sauce. _Interesting._ I cocked an eyebrow in amusement at that eccentric combination and taking note that she didn't like onions and pickles. She must have seen my amused look.

"What? It's delicious!" She said thickly between chews, I could barely make out the words. She was munching happily on the burger and looking so satisfied. I couldn't help but break into a grin at that display of cuteness.

"Okay." I shrugged and imitate the same burger and fries combination. "Hmm, you're right." I said, taking a bite, "It's not bad."

We just sat like that, eating and drinking, talking about everything to nothing. It was so easy to talk to her and I found myself talking more than I usually would with my girlfriend. Emily actually listens to me and is interested in what I've to say.

"Yeah that was the best game ever." I slumped back against my seat with a smile and relaxed, my tummy full, reminiscing about last year's basketball finals. Emily was still nibbling on the leftover fries that I couldn't stomach anymore. Man for a size like that, this girl can really eat. "We were a point behind with five seconds on the clock and I received a pass from Kate, bounced like a fucking manic and just fucking made a clutch shot. I wasn't even sure I aimed – and it just neatly fell into the hoop! Thank fuck. I don't even remember the score now but – "

"Sixty-eight, sixty-nine." Emily butted in.

"I guess so." Wow this girl can really remember the statistics. "I was so fucking ecstatic that – "

"You pulled off your jersey." Emily finished off, her face was possibly also reflecting off a similar dreamy look akin to mine.

I grinned. "Oh yeah that, I was actually trying to say that I ran to coach before the game even ended because there was only a second left on the clock. But yeah… and that too."

Emily had snapped back from her dreamy state and was looking rather red in the face and silent. I didn't really know why. I slid further down on the seat and our knees touched under the table. I gently bumped her knee. "What's wrong?" Believe it or not, I couldn't figure out why I cared about her every change in emotion and I've just known her for what, five hours?

"You were amazing there." She looked at me, her eyes brown eyes shining with… admiration. It was sincere; I've received compliments but I've never always thought I was great. Emily is making me sound great with just this simple sentence that I've actually heard many times. I could fucking kiss her right now.

But no, these thoughts shouldn't be entertained, because she's straight and I have a girlfriend. I just smiled and bumped my knee against hers again, "Thanks." I changed the topic, "You're fucking awesome too you know, at math. You can be like… a fucking rocket scientist someday."

She gave a cute giggle and my stomach did a flip. "Well at least I'm good at something but no, I don't want to be a fucking rocket scientist." She finished the fries and licked her fingers from the salt. Such an apparent innocent gesture was making my imagination suddenly run amok.

"So what do you want – " My sentence was cut short by the ringing of my phone on the table. I glanced at the screen that was flashing the name _'Angela'_. "Sorry it's my girlfriend," I answered it. "Hey babe what's up?" I looked at Emily who was suddenly looking uncomfortable and fiddling with her phone. "I'm having dinner with a friend now… I told you I had practice today… Yes I'll come over right now. Bye, yeah me too."

I hung up the phone.

"So I think we'd better leave now, since you need to meet her?" Emily's voice had suddenly turned a little flat.

"No hurry just let her wait. I'm rather enjoying myself with my friend." Emily must have thought I would hurry off to my girlfriend but upon hearing this, the corners of her lips tugged into a small smile.

"Wouldn't see be mad at you?"

"All the better, we'll make up with hot angry sex." I winked at her.

Emily immediately turned red again and sucked at the straw of her drink, her eyes were looking intently at the table. Could she be uncomfortable because I liked girls? I usually didn't give a fuck about people that made such a big deal about that, I could do without their friendship but Emily feels different to me, I'd want to have her as a friend and I didn't want the fact that I liked girls to affect this friendship.

"I think I should be going home now." She finished her drink and stood up. "You ready?"

I nodded and downed my drink, standing up and following her out.

"I'm going this way," she pointed. "Bye, have a good time." she gave a smile and tiny wave.

"Let me fetch you home." Seeing her looking surprised I add, "It's along the way." I lied, it wasn't but I didn't want her to walk home alone in the evening. Plus I wanted to spend some more time with her.

"Oh. You're sure about that?" She looked unsurely at me and at my bicycle. "I think it's alright..."

"Not a problem. Why, you don't believe I'm strong enough?" I teasingly challenged her.

"I believe you are. Alright, let's go then." She looked expectantly at me.

Smiling, I pulled on my knitted dark blue beanie to keep my hair in place when I cycled and mounted my bicycle.

"Just sit sideways and hold on to me."

Emily settled herself on the metal seat behind above the rear wheel and wrapped her right arm gently around my waist. I felt oddly delighted at the contact.

I pushed off, a little unsteady at first but stabled and as I started pedaling. "Geez Ems you're heavy," I joked.

To my surprise, she lightly smacked my ass with her other free hand. "I am not! You asked for it, now stop complaining!"

I chuckled and pedaled faster, her other arm came up and both arms encircled my waist a little more tightly. The pace of my heart whirled as quickly as the wheels of my bicycle turned. We pedaled in a serene silence, enjoying the gentle breeze and the colors painted on the buildings from the setting sun. I weaved around puddles of fresh rainwater so she wouldn't get the spray of water from the wheel on her shoes or clothes. I occasionally turned my head around and saw her beautiful brown hair fly elegantly behind her. Fuck, she's really rather beautiful.

At last I approached her home, a brick house with a garage on the left and a front door with a piece of frosted glass. I gently braked and came to a gradual halt. She removed her arms and I missed the warmth that had been generated where she held me, and slipped off the seat.

"Thanks for the ride." Emily shyly said.

"You're welcome." She was about to turn when I blurted out, "Emily…" I liked saying her name; I liked the way it rolls off my tongue smoothly. "Can I ask you something?" She was looking at me with a questioning look. "Are you okay with me – you know – dating girls, because it seems like you got uncomfortable when I mentioned my girlfriend. It would be shit if you did cause I really like you – as a friend, and I hope this would not come between us. I know I have this reputation of having many girlfriends and but – but it doesn't mean I would – try to date you – I mean! You're very dateable – I'm not saying you're not! I wouldn't date my friends. I mean – " I stopped speaking abruptly because I reckon I'd totally try to date her if she would be into me and if I didn't have a girlfriend.

And for the second time I chided myself._ Smooth Naomi, smooth. Word vomit and incoherent rambling, what the fuck has gotten into your ability to construct proper sentences around this girl._

Emily was looking between being somewhat… upset? – and confused. _Great, now she's going to run from me._

"I don't mind you dating girls Naomi," she said softly. "And I'd very much like to be your friend too."

_Oh thank fuck._ I was relieved.

"Great."

We smiled at each other for an inappropriate amount of time before I cleared my throat.

"I guess you should be going."

"Yeah… see you for the next session."

"See you tomorrow in class."

I must have said the right thing because the sparkle in Emily's eyes twinkled back at me. And that made me feel good.

I climbed onto my bicycle and saw her enter her house after giving me a last wave and smile, and pushed off my bicycle, pedaling hard.

I was just simply happy to have met Emily. She was a very nice girl, pretty, smart and I feel like I could have long hours of conversations just listening to her voice or just sit quietly with her and be comfortable. We could become great friends. This easiness is somewhat surprising to me since I've only known her for a day and I thought I could only be this comfortable with James. I want to get to know her better, to find out everything about her, what she loves and what makes her tick, to paint a full picture of her personality; everything.

While having this monologue in my head, I realised I was actually heading home when I should be going to my girlfriend's place. I huffed and made a detour to her house, wondering how the hell I was going to make it up to her.

* * *

><p>I'm sorry if you guys were expecting to find a bitchy Naomi, I couldn't write her to be one, was never my intention but I almost did consider changing that. That's why your reviews are very much appreciated, they make me rethink and second guess my original plot, and of course bring a smile to me when I read them. So thank you <strong>M, fookyeahskins, crazziii, i, shewritesforher, miluvrox, staycoolsodapop, mUfF MuNcHeR and gemmaperidot.<strong>

Let me know your thoughts? Have a great new year! Cheers.


	4. Dream a Little Dream of Me

Thanks to **GilmoreRos, M, xWannabe-Novelistx, staycoolsodapop, dourememberthat, goosewriter, fookyeahskins, Alice, fakevegan, Sonia, mUfF MuNcHeR, inukag21 and spikie142003.** I appreciate every review, really. :) I hope I don't disappoint.

Now who's ready for Season 6? And no I'm not eligible for 4oD.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Four – Dream a Little Dream of Me<strong>

**Emily**

I looked at Naomi as she stood beside me. We were standing behind this wooden fence and looking out at a huge field. I didn't know how we ended up there but we talked, or rather she talked to me and I was listening and looking at her. She was wearing that same blue beanie with her hair tucked in it. She was staring out at the field while I just rested my eyes on her, fascinated at how her lips moved as she spoke and how the light from the setting sun illuminated her blue eyes.

I shuffled closer to her. Her body weight leant on the fence and her arms were resting on top of the horizontal wooden fence. I noticed that her hands were free and hung casually over the fence, effortlessly. It was a comfortable silence, like we didn't need all these useless words between us.

I reached out my right hand and slipped her left hand in mine. That was the moment I'd be looking for all my life. My hand was immediately filled with the warmth of her hand, which transmitted through my body, and also possibly, by my increase in heart rate, protecting me from the chilly evening. Naomi didn't pull away, in fact she gently held my hand and smiled at me in the way that told me it was okay to do this. Something in my life fell into place, the last puzzle piece that completed the border, a formation taking shape.

I'd just have to figure out what was that incessant annoying beeping sound beside us.

My eyes slowly fluttered open and I realised where I was. My left hand automatically reached out and silenced my alarm clock.

_Bollocks._ I looked down at my right hand that was holding the paw of my fluffy stuff toy dog. How very disappointing.

I lifted my arms over my head and stretched, releasing the tension in my muscles, taking a deep breath and puffing it out. It was my first dream of Naomi. Yeah I did have a crush on her for quite a while but it's only now that I actually dreamt of her. I guess getting to know her has triggered the subconscious part of my mind leading to this dream. But it felt good. I distinctively felt that happy bubble floating around in my chest as I turned the dream around in my head.

I pulled off my duvet, got out of bed and silently padded to the bathroom to wash up before getting into the usual routine of waking Katie up and getting ready for school.

* * *

><p>We caught a later bus to school because Katie couldn't wake up. I wasn't too bothered about missing Naomi's morning practice since I actually spent a lovely day with her yesterday and that kind made up for this.<p>

I sat by the window seat as usual, looking out. This time I was in deep thought, my mind turning over the recent dream. It was etched in my mind. I smiled secretly to myself as I remember how happy I felt in the dream as I held Naomi's hand. It felt so tangible, so true, and so easy but hell no; it was just the subconscious of my mind deluding me.

It finally dawned upon me the frivolousness or seriousness of this. You know that empty feeling you get when you thought you had something but it turned out to be a fraud, like you were cheated of it but it was never really yours anyway. Sometimes it's okay, but most of the time it isn't.

My legs and senses steered me into class, I never knew how I got there, just the motion actions bringing me there.

Fact: Naomi wasn't interested in me. I was even giving off the wrong signals, letting her think I was uncomfortable with her being interested in girls. But she had assured me that she wouldn't be trying to get things on with me, as I was her friend. FRIEND. Naomi called me her FRIEND. I was torn between being delighted for falling into that category, and upset when she said she'd never date her friends. However she called me dateable and I don't know what to think of it. I never dated anyone before, so technically how could I be 'dateable?'

That ride back home which she offered was – amazing. Every fiber in me was tingling with excitement as I held tightly onto her waist as she cycled. Though the chilly evening wind was blowing, my arms that were around her waist were generating the heat into my body. Contact with her soft, warm flesh of her stomach was just separated by a thin layer of her t-shirt and windbreaker. That was enough to get me all excited.

I definitely have a crush on Naomi. It was a dream come true being told to tutor her. I didn't expect her to take it easily. She certainly surprised me. I thought maybe if she were bitchy towards me, I would actually find her not as wonderful. Because sometimes you imagine someone you like to be this wonderful person and when you get to know them, they're just nasty to. And it hurts. All hopes that you've built up come crumbling down. But Naomi was so nice, just like how I imagined and treated me so perfectly that I think I just crushed her a little harder. My hopes are stacking up like the Empire State building right now.

Plus it was so easy to just talk to her. She was funny, lighthearted and made me laugh with her dry wit and little jokes. Though I think I embarrassed myself during dinner, blurting out how wonderful she was and how I actually ogled over her flat stomach and abs, luckily she didn't have a clue about it and I got away with that. Sigh, my crush is perfect.

Knowing that I'm going to be spending so much more time with her through tutoring makes me hesitant, scared. I mean, I'd like that; I'm just afraid I just might accidentally fall for her. Like really, really fall. She has a girlfriend and I'm not for her consideration as I fall into the 'friend' category. I don't want to be pining over unrequited affections that she's never going to return.

Maybe I should instead be frightened that I'm crushing on a girl. I thought hard about it. Katie gushes over boys, which I don't, and dreams of being like those poster girls which I also don't find appealing. I think I just like people, this person, and it happens to be a girl. I definitely wouldn't rule out boys but I haven't met anyone else that makes my heart beat erratically like how it does when Naomi looks at me with those eyes.

I spotted Naomi walking into class with her gang, talking animatedly with Cook.

Her eyes found me, watching her carefully, and those blue eyes lit up. She gave a huge grin and a little wave.

I felt happiness erupt in my chest, like the soaring flight of an eagle, as I broke into a similar smile, probably even wider than hers. I waved back at her, not even giving a fuck what Katie might think. Naomi Campbell acknowledged me. My throat gave a silent squeal of delight.

I also caught Cook's eye as he gave a cheeky smile and twitched his eyebrow at me which I smiled back and give a tiny nod.

.

.

I just knew it. Naomi was a bad distraction. Before knowing her, I didn't think much of wanting to talk to her. Now as I sat in class trying to pay attention, my mind generated thoughts of scenes which I would be hanging out with her, just the both of us, preferably, in an unimportant blurred out place. Oh yeah and we would be holding hands. _Argh no!_ I was seriously jumping ahead of myself and possibly bracing for the inevitable fall. I screwed my eyes shut and tried to channel my thoughts back to the lesson.

"What?" I breathed irritably. Katie nudged me in the ribs.

"What's wrong with you, you're all fidgety."

"Just a little tired that's all." I lied. But that did it. Sometimes you need a nudge from reality to remind you where you actually were before you get so caught up with your thoughts.

Thankfully it ended. I quickly packed my bag and followed Katie out of the classroom. I actually thought I would hang around hoping to speak to Naomi, but I really didn't think that would happen anytime. She's got her own friends and I'm just someone helping her with her studies. Two different worlds. The cool gang and the non-existent girl.

I caught up with JJ, Panda and Thomas as Katie went off with her own friends. You'd think as twins, we'd stick with each other all the time, having the same friends and all. But Katie hadn't exactly connected with my friends but that's okay. Life is like that, we get along with certain people even when our twin doesn't but we don't take it personally.

"Emzy, how was yesterday!" Panda excitedly asked.

"It was alright." I shrugged.

"Just alright?" JJ pressed on and grinned.

"Well… she was really nice, and I got to watch her at practice." The corners of my lip tugged into a small smile as I recalled. "We had dinner and she sent me home." I could barely contain the happiness dripping out of my voice as I told my friends.

"That's a good start!" JJ patted me on my back.

"You both will become good friends." Thomas affirmed, flashing his dazzling smile at me.

"And in no time you both will be making monkey!" Panda added at the top of her voice.

"PANDA!" All three of us yelled. I could feel myself turn a brilliant shade of red as I watch Thomas shushed his girlfriend. I really hoped no one had heard it, or most importantly, never realised the connection. I've – I've not thought of Naomi like that, _yet._

"What is making monkey?" A voice behind me suddenly asked. I froze. It was the voice that I longed to hear; the one that made my heart beat erratically when it says my name. But this was just a really inappropriate timing.

I turned around and met the girl that has been recurring in my thoughts. She was looking at us in a puzzled and curious way. She looked stunning today; she had taken off her jacket and was wearing a simple black figure-hugging tank top, skinny dark blue jeans that were folded up to her calves that elongated her legs and red vans shoes. Her peroxide blonde hair was casually tied up into a ponytail. I could have drooled if I stared a little longer.

"Hi?" Naomi looked at me, her blue eyes twinkling and her mouth tugged up as she greeted me.

"Hi!" I snapped out of my temporal lapse in speech and flashed her a huge smile. "These are my friends, JJ, Thomas and Panda."

They exchanged friendly nods and smiles.

"So what is making monkey?" Naomi asked curiously again.

"That's just Panda language," JJ started. "Some people will describe it as love making but mostly these days, it would be akin to having sex. Ideally it would be with the one you love, a man and a woman – but I mean it would be totally cool with us if you were with a girl – I'm just saying, but people now mostly take sex so frivolously that it has – "

Thomas elbowed JJ in the ribs effectively shutting him up. I wished the floor could have split open right now and I'll gladly climb in and hide from this sudden lock-on JJ just had to untimely start.

"Okay…" Naomi drawled out.

_Oh my god she's going to think we're a bunch of freaks._

"So who's going off to make monkey now?" Naomi looked at us with a cheeky glint in her eye.

My eyes widened with surprise and relief. I could feel my cheeks flush as her brilliant blue eyes rested on mine. I think I blush every time she looks directly at me. I am useless.

"We are." Thomas grabbed Panda's hand. I swore Thomas was actually blushing under his tanned skin. "Let's go." He tugged at Panda's hand. "JJ are you coming too?" Thomas looked at JJ, using his eyes to signal at him to come along with them, leaving me with Naomi.

JJ got the hint. "Definitely!" He said brightly and followed them.

Naomi bit her bottom lip as she watched them turn to leave. _Man that lip bite. _It's like I'm slowly documenting everything about Naomi in my mind, starting with the smallest of actions. First, her lip bite, next the way she's tilting her head as she's looking at me.

Woah I just zoned out.

"Threesome eh?" Her voice was laced with amusement and playfulness.

"No!" I lightly smacked her arm, "Don't be silly."

She laughed that gorgeous laugh of hers and asked in a more serious tone, "Are you together with JJ?" Naomi looked uncertainly at me.

"What? No! He's just a good friend. There's nothing between us."

"Oh. Alright then."

Naomi looked a little – happy? Really? Could I have read that wrong?

"You look nice. Different." Naomi gave me a tiny smile.

Startled, I looked down at myself. I was in a simple yellow V-necked tee and black jeans. It was really something I just threw on this morning without a consideration.

"Thanks?" I replied, uncertain but secretly happy at that unexpected compliment. When your crush compliments you, it makes your day. It really does.

"Walk you to class?"

"Okay." I tried to make it sound as nonchalant as I could but really, I was brimming with joy.

As we walked alongside, I can't help but sneak little side glances noticing her profile, her straight nose, light brown eyebrows and the little soft blonde hairs that stuck out from the nape of her neck. I want to know and actually feel how soft they actually are instead of imagining they are from afar.

And those eyes, those clear blue eyes. I swear I could fly looking in her eyes.

"What are you doing after school?" I was curious, not that I needed to know, I wanted to, I had hoped…

"Oh I'm going out with Angela – you know, my girlfriend. Probably catching a movie and dinner afterwards." She shrugged, like it was nothing interesting to it.

Ah right, the girlfriend. Of course you twat, what did you expect? That she'd spend the day with you like yesterday? I felt a little deflated. I knew I should have seen it coming but guess I got too hopeful. I'll do better next time. I promise.

"That's nice! Enjoy yourselves." Even though it was rather eviscerating to my heart, I mustered it with a convincing smile and a cheerful voice. "When would you be free for the next session with me? For math I mean."

Naomi looked at me for a moment and sheepishly scratched the back of her neck. "Oh right… I forgot to tell you, I think this week's not possible. I've got practice and Angela wants me to spend more time with her. You're not going to tell Angie about this right? I promise I'll make time next week?" She looked at me worriedly.

Truthfully, my heart shriveled and wept but I can't express that can I? And those eyes, can't say no to them can I?

"Don't worry, I wont." I managed to keep that smile on my face from faltering. "Next week yeah?" I tried to refrain from speaking too much; I don't trust my voice from wavering.

"Promise." She assured me with a smile.

"BABY!"

Suddenly there was a loud knocking of heels on the concrete floor. Someone behind us hurtled into Naomi and wrapped a pair of arms around her. That same person spun Naomi around and planted an open mouthed kiss on Naomi's lips which lingered there for more than five seconds. I swear I counted the amount of time those lips spent together. I bet there was tongue involved. I quickly looked away as they broke apart, pretending that I had given them some privacy. What the fuck, they kissed in the hallway, in public, in front of tens of students, what fucking level privacy could I give anyway.

"Emily!" Naomi's voice was a strange octave higher, "This is Angela. Angela, Emily." She made the introductions.

Angela eyed me with a pair of condescending eyes, as though she was deliberating and assessing my threat level to her relationship with Naomi. I held eye contact with her, though not in an acrimonious way. She was about the same height as Naomi and long wavy chestnut brown hair that went past her shoulders. Her eyes were almost black and she had a slim figure, almost like the type of girls that would diet or skip meals to look skinny. I on the other hand never tried skipping meals and eat just almost everything (except onions and pickles).

Angela was wearing a white spaghetti top with a black bra underneath, leaving hardly any room for imagination. Her silver shimmery tight skirt that hung off her hips, leaving a tiny space of flesh between her top and it, fell just mid thigh and she paired her outfit off with a pair of dark maroon really high heels and a chunky necklace around her neck. I could also smell her perfume, though it was actually rather nice. Fucking hell this girl's outfit can give Katie a run for her money.

But she did look hot in a way, just not to my taste. I just can't believe Naomi would like this girl. Guess I don't know a lot of things about Naomi.

It was obvious. I was never going to match up to this girl. The truth was all the while there; I just was looking through it. Now I was looking at it.

"Nice to meet you." I nodded politely, which Angela just nodded. _That's unfriendly._ I noticed that Angela's hip was attached to Naomi's and her arm was wrapped around Naomi's waist, like she was making a statement, claiming Naomi as her own, my property, I possess her.

"You look really nice today." Naomi told Angela.

"All for you baby." Her voice was mawkish and dripping with sweetness as she planted another unnecessary long kiss on Naomi's lips.

I felt my poor heart plunge down through a few levels of icy water. Was Naomi's earlier compliment to me just casual? Did I really read too much into that? Naomi also complimented Angela, adding an extra 'really' in. And if I used that as a comparison, Angela still beat me. How stupid of me to even compare myself to her. I'm just a day-old friend.

"Walk me to class?" Angela asked Naomi, as they broke apart again.

"Er… sure?" Naomi looked at me very sheepishly and at least, really apologetic. I gave a 'go ahead' shrug, attempting to be supportive as I watched Naomi get pulled away by Angela by her arm.

Naomi quickly turned around and mouthed a 'Sorry' as I flashed her a smile and a pathetic thumbs up. She really looked like she was sorry. I couldn't expect too much, really.

I headed on to physics, meeting JJ outside the room. Naomi and I didn't have this common class. Thankfully?

"How was it with Naomi?" JJ questioned. "I'm so sorry about earlier on; I didn't know what came over me. I hope I didn't ruin anything because of – "

"Doesn't matter Jay, she went off with her girlfriend." I replied listlessly.

"Oh. Are you okay?"

Okay was an overstatement but truthfully I didn't know what to feel or think. I brought everything that I felt or thought upon myself. Oh come on Emily; just stop being so stupid and easy with your emotions.

"Yeah I'm okay." I gave him a reassuring smile which he looked skeptical but didn't push. I'm glad he understands me; he's such a great friend.

We took our seats and I drowned out all the noises in my head and surroundings, focusing on the lesson.

Minutes in, my phone buzzed. I took a look and saw a text message waiting for me from Naomi. And suddenly all my attention was diverted all onto that unopened message on WhatsApp. You know the way your heart beats when you get an unexpected text from someone you really, really like? Yeah it felt like that.

Sure, we exchanged numbers so we could arrange the sessions but I hadn't the guts to text her yet. And I'd never expect Naomi to text me.

My thumb quivered as it hovered over the message and opened it. I was bracing myself for it.

**Hey :) sorry about that just now. Girlfriend needed the attention. – Naomi**

A small bubble of happiness swelled in me. _She does care._

**I understand. :) – Emily**

I saw the indication that Naomi was typing so I stared at the screen and waited. To hell with the lesson!

**We should hang out one day  
>You know<br>Get to know each other better  
>One day yeah?<br>When I can give the girlfriend a slip ;) – Naomi**

I grinned at that, but at the same time knowing I should never get my hopes up and hang on to those words.

**You're supposed to spend the free time getting tutored by me! – Emily**

**Geez Em  
>Lighten up, I need some play time too :( – Naomi<strong>

**And I'm your shiny new toy? – Emily**

Opps, that sounded quite wrong but I hit 'send' too quickly. I hoped Naomi didn't get offended.

There was a pause where Naomi didn't start typing. I stared at the 'online' status willing it to change.

**Yes :P  
>But you're right<br>At least that's still 'hanging out' :D – Naomi**

_Oh thank fuck._

**Technically no, but yes :) – Emily**

**:) – Naomi**

My heart fluttered. Who knew Naomi would use old school emoticons. That's so cute. I could almost see her giving me the same facial expressions that the emoticons are portraying! Naomi's cute. I could think of many words to describe her, but this has certified that she's officially cute.

**Pay attention in class! – Emily**

**It's boring…  
>You're not either – Naomi<strong>

**Because you're distracting me! – Emily**

**Am I such a distraction? :P – Naomi**

Yes indeed you are. But I couldn't reply that. Not in that sense.

**I should stop texting  
>Brown is eyeing me – Emily<strong>

**Is he ogling at you?  
>I'll take out his eye – Naomi<strong>

I almost laughed out loud; a huge smile threatened to break out from my face. I restrained myself, possibly contorting my face in the process.

**Don't be silly :) You know what I mean – Emily**

**:P  
>Alright, have fun then – Naomi<strong>

**You too haha! – Emily**

**Bleargh – Naomi**

I chuckled inwardly; I could imagine her giving the disgusted face when she typed that.

**Text you some time xx – Naomi**

I didn't reply; I didn't dare to believe in it.

It's strange to be texting her this casually when I've just known her for a day. The scariest part is that I enjoyed it and I wanted it to go on. I wanted to hang out with her and do lots of things with her.

And then I realise I may have had it bad.

* * *

><p>That night I pulled the duvet over myself and lay in bed, amidst Katie's gentle snores, staring into the blank darkness. All I could see was Naomi's face appearing from my thoughts, especially her gorgeous blue eyes.<p>

I turned over to my side and willed myself to sleep.

_Dream about Naomi. Don't dream about Naomi. Dream about Naomi. Don't dream about Naomi._

The last thing saw was her blue eyes and her smile fading into unconsciousness.

_Dream about Naomi._

_Stars shining bright above you;  
>Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"<br>Birds singing in the sycamore tree  
>Dream a little dream of me.<em>


	5. Pitter Patter Goes My Heart

Thanks to **GilmoreRos, M, Alice, fookyeahskins, DontBeIgnorant23, gerlierana, fakevegan, shewritesforher** for leaving one, and the rest that subscribed for alerts. Hopefully you guys will leave one too, one day yeah.

I tip my hat to Salinger and Chbosky for this one.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Five – Pitter Patter Goes My Heart<strong>

**Naomi**

I didn't text Emily, or asked her to 'hang out' like what I suggested. Man, I didn't know what led me to start that text conversation with her that day. I knew we were having the same class for that morning. That knowledge just made me all jittery and fidgety as I walked into class with James. I knew, I KNEW where she would be seated at and my eyes looked for her at that spot. Her eyes were looking straight, back at me. I don't know who started the looking first, maybe it was I, maybe it was her. But I think I looked first because I knew I was looking, though I really wished she were the one that was looking first at me. I'd let her win, because I'm not counting.

Her eyes, knocked me out, winded me, smiled at me and told me it was okay to look because she was smiling at me in a way that didn't make me feel stupid that I looked first. I couldn't stop the huge smile bursting out from my face. I think it got its battery charged from the sunrays pouring through the classroom window. I felt like a dork, a fool, to let someone's eyes have that kind of effect on me.

And I would have walked her to class if not for Angela's interruption. I got to give it to her, Angela really knows how to get my attention. She's hot, the kind of girl that you want to shag. And there's the other type of girl that's pretty, shy, you want her to be your best friend and shagging her doesn't come out strong on your list of wants because she's too perfect to think of her in that way. Angela falls into the former category, and she's my girlfriend and I'm allowed to think of her in that way. Plus I'll admit, sometimes I have the mind of a fourteen-year-old teenage boy. Almost as bad as James.

I lost myself in Angela's kiss, just because she pushed her way into my mouth. My sensors flared up and I gave in to my stupid teenage brain. I don't know why but I was nervous about Angela meeting Emily. I mean, it shouldn't be a big deal right. I wasn't cheating on her in any way; just getting to know more about this girl that's helping me with my studies. But I felt awkward, like I needed to take them both away from each other.

I had to walk Angela to class when she requested. She's the girlfriend after all. Emily's just… a very pretty girl that I wanted to walk to class but nothing more. Though, I did catch her slightly downcast expression as I turned back one last time to look at her as she walked away. I don't know why, but it hurt me to see her with that look which could be caused by me. Maybe she was really wanting to spend some time getting to know me; maybe she was sad for some other reasons unknown to me.

The last couple of weeks were pure exhaustion, chaos. I went for practice four times a week; I went on three dates with Angela; I did two sessions with Emily; I volunteered to teach basketball to a bunch of kids at a community center. All these were done for two weeks. So that's eight practice sessions… and so on and so forth, though I did manage to cut down on a date with the girlfriend, freeing up some time for studies. I was running thin on energy. Every night I would crawl into bed and knock myself out and drag myself out of bed the next day where the routine would start again.

Can't blame coach, our first match was coming up and we got to win it to have a chance at finals this year. She was pushing not just me but the whole team hard. Today was no exception. I was practicing my layup. I wanted perfection; I needed perfection so that every time when there's an interception or a turnover and the ball is entrusted onto me, I would deliver the shot. I need it to be perfect because every shot is a shot closer to victory. I was so frustrated with the way my wrist would flick the ball into the hoop. It was weak, it was unsteady, and I hated myself for not being how I wanted it to be, perfect.

Exhausted, I headed for the showers and blasted the cold water on my tense muscles, relishing how the water cascaded down my head and body, washing away my insecurities. Moments like this make you realise that you've tried your hardest best, that you gave a hundred and ten percent, and it's enough. I'll improve during the next practice. I'm improving.

I toweled dry and slipped on a fresh pair of shorts and t-shirt. I felt better. Everything's better after a shower. Truth.

I hurried out of the school doors and down to my bicycle parked at the stands. I was finally going home for dinner, a little me time today. First I'd have a great dinner with mom, watch the telly for an hour or so, drag myself to complete some coursework, text the girlfriend to ensure I haven't forgotten about her, then knock myself out for eight hours straight. That's the plan.

As I was unchaining my bicycle, I caught a familiar figure coming down the steps from the corner of my eye. Emily was hurrying down the steps, her head tilted up at the sky. Did I mention I like her neck? It looks so long and elegant. I was so afraid she would trip over her feet and fall. She was in a skirt again, black one this time, and a striped long-sleeved t-shirt. Still nice.

I looked up at the sky myself. Dark clouds were slowly gathering and obscuring the pale sun; it was a sign of an impending rain.

"EMILY!" I yelled and threw up an arm to wave.

She turned her head at my outburst and smiled, the surprised but happy kind of smile and hurried towards me. "Just ended practice?" She asked.

"Yeah, what about you? Why are you still in school?"

"I was – I was helping out at the library." The last few words came out so softly and shyly that I almost missed it.

"Library? You help out there? That's – "

"Uncool?" Her cheeks were reddening.

"Nice." I corrected her.

"Nice." She repeated, nodding absently to herself.

"I think it's going to rain soon, let me send you home." Truthfully I was exhausted but seeing Emily just made all these tiredness vanish away. I found a new energy source somewhere in my body that I never knew of.

"No it's okay I could wait for the bus."

I tried to entice her, "But the bus would take a while, I would have you home in a jiffy."

"What makes you think your peddling would be faster than the motor engine of the bus?" She stared at me with twinkling eyes, a smile threatening to break out from her lips. I liked the way those lips twitched at the corners, even if they were laughing at me. I made her laugh. I don't care how.

"I… I can use shortcuts the bus can't." I confidently stated, my mind trying to use my own from of google map, searching for shortest distance from current location to destination.

"Well…" She dragged out. I never wished so fervently for something. "Are you sure it's on the way? 'Cause I don't want…"

"Definitely." I interjected, lying. Always lying to send this pretty girl home on my bicycle.

"Alright. Then let's hurry before it pours!"

I quickly put on my windbreaker, pulled out my bicycle from the stands, set it on the road and got on. Emily quickly hopped up onto the passenger seat and slipped her arms automatically around my waist, like a natural. Truthfully this was only the second time I was sending her home. For the last couple of weeks, she has politely declined my offer stating that she'd somewhere else to be or I myself having somewhere else to be.

But this feels like we've done it many times. I don't even send the girlfriend on my bicycle. In fact she hates to sit at the passenger seat. She complained that it was hard and painful after that one time where I sent her home. I never offered again after that.

Can you say that you miss something even if you've had it for only a short period of time? An ephemeral sensation? Yes? I don't care, I call the shots. I miss having Emily's arms around me. The way she held on to me, not too tight to show she didn't trust my riding skills, not too loose to mark that we're actually really close acquaintances. I liked the way her arms clung onto me. That simple.

"You gotta go faster, I see the dark clouds gathering!" Emily yelled at me over the wind.

I took the shortcut, riding into the park. This way would save some time. I was conflicted; I didn't know if I should get her home quickly or try to keep her with me for reasons I haven't figured out yet.

As if on cue, huge drops of rain, the size of golf balls started smothering down on us. One hit me on the tip of my nose, the rest started to land themselves on my head and windbreaker. In a matter of seconds, we were curtained by the angry rain beating down on us. Emily shouted something about getting shelter. That was what I thought too; we were never going to make it to her house in this downpour. I increased my speed and rode us to the nearest shelter in the park.

The shelter was like one of those you find in the park; domed shaped roof held up by four wooden pillars, not large, no bench, nothing. Obviously it was only built for people to take temporal shelter and not provide for any sort of comfort.

My hair was matted with rain. I brushed the hair out of my face and eyes ungainly; I think I look like a mess right now, ruffled hair and all. The rain didn't drench my clothes; luckily I had my windbreaker on, effectively repelling the water. I turned to look at Emily. She was fluffing out her very wet brown hair, beads of rain were tumbling down her face and neck and her top was damp with the rain. It clung onto her a little tighter than before. These were somehow making my mind travel a little further. I wished I were those raindrops; I wished I was that striped top.

"Oh god I think I look awful." Emily's voice broke me out of my dazed staring. Shit I was staring, no wonder she was conscious. She pulled her sleeves up past her elbows and tried to comb her hair with the tips of her fingers. Her hand was shaking a little, I wondered if she was cold.

"You still look," I walked up to her and gently used my thumb and forefinger to remove a petulant strand of hair stuck to her cheek, and tucked it behind her ear, "Nice."

"Nice." She repeated the word again, her eyes avoiding mine.

Honestly I think 'nice' is a major understatement to describe her. I will need to expand my vocabulary of adjectives to describe her. 'Beautiful' would be the top top word, but she would think I'm inappropriate and hitting on her. Maybe 'pretty?' Still crossing that line here.

Sometimes words fail, and all you need is actions, so I brought my hand to her hair and threaded her hair through my fingers untangling the ends. Her smooth hair slipped through my fingers like silk. I wondered how her hair would feel on my face if she hovered over me in bed leaning down to kiss me. I think my hand was shaking. I think my brain digressed again. Typical.

"There. Beautiful." _Oh fuck did I just say that out loud? That was supposed to stay in my stupid head!_

Her cheeks reddened again and a bashful smile appeared. "I bet you say this to all the girls."

I was rendered speechless. Do I? Say this word to all the girls? Maybe? _But I meant it this time Emily!_ I wanted to let her know I really did.

"Anyway," she continued, "You were supposed to get me home faster than the bus and before it rained as you claimed." She gave me a tiny pout. I think my heart exploded with the cuteness. "Look where we are now, I'm having the worst time of my life, the weather's shit, the company's even worse."

I raised my eyebrow at her and she smirked to show that she was kidding. I laughed. We laughed together. More friendship points for us. Thank fuck for the rain.

"Doesn't look like it's going to stop any time soon." I peered at the overcast sky. The dark clouds were occasionally rimmed with light, indicating flashes of lightning activity happening somewhere above.

"Hmph. I was supposed to be home."

"Yeah me too." I had a plan too. Dinner, telly, coursework, sleep. What a surprise change of plan and I somehow welcomed that. "Well fuck it." I dragged my bicycle to the middle of the shelter and sat down beside it. I tilted my head at Emily to the spot beside me, indicating that she sit too.

She sort of hesitated and frowned a little, but she carefully folded her skirt around her and sat demurely with her calves tucked at the side of her. Her actions, I can't – It's so – pretty. I wondered if Angela sat as prettily as Emily. Wait, Angela doesn't sit on dirty floors. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. That's what Caulfield said.

I twiddled with my thumbs wondering what I should say. It wasn't the uncomfortable type of silence. It was the type of kind of silence I want broken cause I wanted to talk to her, to know everything about her, to hear her voice but I was scared to be a blubbering and incoherent fool.

"Sorry yeah… for this." I managed to squeeze something lame out.

"No. Don't be." She replied softly and added with a cheeky smile, "Though you owe me one Campbell."

_Owe what? A date? A kiss? A –_ I stammered something incoherent and unintelligent. I could fucking kick myself in the ass. What is this? Naomi, you useless, useless…

"An extra session with me." Emily stated, looking at me triumphantly.

YES. No I didn't yell that out. I would agree to anything involves Emily and myself, though I would have hoped for something else. This would do. I faked a dramatic groan, "Alright…" I dragged the word out.

We sat in silence for a bit, listening to the rain drum on the roof. A blast of wind blew into the shelter and I saw Emily shiver a little and chafed her palms on her forearms. Oh right, her clothes were still wet from the rain.

"Are you cold?"

She shook her head, "No I'm fine."

I unzipped my windbreaker, took it off in one fluid motion and draped it over her shoulders. "No you're not, you're shivering."

"Share?" She held open the left side of the jacket. She looked unsure. I wished she didn't look unsure because I would gladly have huddled with her. It's just; I don't know what's stopping me.

"Okay." I pushed whatever thoughts aside and scooted closer throwing the other side of the jacket around me. My right arm was flushed against her left arm; her both thighs rested a fraction on my right thigh as I sat cross-legged. We had to have this close proximity because the jacket couldn't cover both of use if we sat a mile apart. This was the closest we ever got to each other.

My heart was hammering, pitter-pattering like the rain. I wished it wasn't so loud. I think it's the rain, or it could be my heart. I could smell her hair; it still had a faint fruity smell of her shampoo. I could see her neck as she had tucked her hair over to her right side. I was even close enough to admire her smooth, porcelain skin, slightly red cheeks and minimal eyeliner. I wasn't staring; I was looking at her from the corner of my eye. I'm learning her; give me some credit.

My body was tingling. You know that sensation in your body where suddenly, somehow some reaction took place, some chemical change, that makes your heart beat faster, your fingertips turn cold, all that stuff. How can you be pressed against someone and not feel something! It's either you don't feel anything for that person or… you have feelings. I have feelings for Emily? Fuck.

No it can't be. Naomi, get a grip. It's not possible. You've known her for three weeks or so and yes you enjoy spending time with her but that just means you really like her as a friend. You like her. She's nice. That's why you're feeling this way. Nothing more.

"So you help out in the library?" I had to say something before my mind grew legs and ran around in circles.

"Yeah, just recently, a couple of times a week, shelve the books, do some paperwork. Nothing much." She shrugged, like it was nothing. But it was, to me, because there she was looking like she was ashamed of it. Besides, I'll know where she would be at certain days in case I'd like to stalk – I meant – visit her.

"I think it's great! You know, helping out. At least you care about something. I could visit you. I mean with James and Effy and…"

"Naomi," said my name with a disapproving tone. I like the way she said my name; I like the way she mouthed it with her lips. It felt like she had said it a thousand times; it had fluency to it. I almost missed the tone. "You lot would make a ruckus there, at least I know Cook will. Besides, that's not the point of visiting a library." Her eyes were dancing with laughter. I didn't take it personally because she knew I wasn't laughing at her; she knew I cared enough to be ridiculous to want to visit her in the library, with the noisiest entourage.

"Fine. I'll come alone." I winked at her and she replied by lowering her pretty head and giving an I-give-up shake with a smile on her face.

"What about you? Long practice?"

"Yeah." I diagonally shifted my body a little, still keeping our arms and thighs together, trying to block the wind from blowing straight at her. I wanted to protect her, to keep her warm, to be her knight in shining armour and protector of her realm. "Got a game coming up, need to practice my shooting and all. These day I seem to be playing and shooting like shit…"

And to my greatest shock, surprise, astonishment, Emily placed her left hand over mine that was resting on my thigh and gave a gentle squeeze. "You can do it."

"You think so?" I hated how small I suddenly felt. Where was the confident and dependable Naomi, captain of the team, the one all girls want to have?

"I think you can do anything." And she smiled at me with the smile that told me she really did, that it was alright to feel insecure as it's only human, that it was alright to doubt not because we didn't believe in ourselves but sometimes all we need is affirmation, and that she will be there for me, always.

I was looking into her eyes, or she was looking into my eyes. I was terrified, it felt so wrong yet so right. We barely know each other yet I think she likes me. Fuck I'm not sure. I mean, I think I feel it, this, us. I feel it strongly. Sometimes do you feel something for the other person, so strongly that you're sure she feels it too? It must be real, right?

And I was very much aware of how closely we're sitting. Her hand was still on mine. I didn't dare move, or even blink. I was afraid if I did, my brain wouldn't capture this perfect moment, like how you sometimes accidentally shake while snapping a photo and the image is blurred. I was afraid of that.

Suddenly there was a flash of fluorescent bright light and a deafening clap of thunder that echoed through the shelter and beyond our vicinity. We both jumped. Like really, jumped, jolted out of our skins. The jacket fell from our shoulders, she removed her hand from mine, we moved an inch apart. I reached for the jacket and draped it back over our shoulders. She removed her thighs from mine; I hugged them close to my chest; I don't trust my arms.

But our moment was broken. We were both looking away from each other. I was intently surveying the surroundings to my left and she to her right. A weird silence would have settled down upon us if not for the bashing of rain on the roof.

I cleared my throat and blurted the first thing I could think of, "What is the wildest thing you've ever done?"

"Wildest thing?" She repeated in a disbelieving voice and a tiny frown, like she couldn't believe I asked this question. I couldn't believe myself either. Oh the things you ask when you're stuck in the rain with a girl that grows butterflies in your gut.

"Yeah you know like, getting a tattoo or a piercing, ran away from home, shagged in a public toilet… or even cliff jumping." Why did I mention the shagging part? Really sometimes I think my mind is two-thirds inappropriate.

Emily giggled, "Nope none of the above." I must add that we're both looking at each other again. "Though a couple mentioned sound appealing."

_I wonder which two._ "C'mon you must have done something wild. One time, James set fire to one of the lockers and made me record it on tape."

"Oh so you were the ones that started the fire! They didn't manage to find out who did it." Her eyes were round as saucers, her mouth agape.

"I think they suspected it was James but there wasn't evidence. Anyway those adolescent days are over, we're all cleaned up." I popped the 'p' and grinned at her.

"Wildest thing I'll like to do?" She looked at me and pondered for a bit, "I think… Fallinlove."

I almost didn't catch that, with all that slur in the words, and the rain, and her head which was turned away from me. I was positive she was blushing.

"Why so?" I tried to look at her eyes which she had kept them away from me.

"Because," she looked a little flustered, like she regretted divulging this, "I know people use this all the time but, it's like standing on the edge of a precipice and you're looking at the only bright light in front of you. It's pitch black and you can't even see your fingers, just that tiny light ahead. If you can't see yourself, how can love see you? So the only thing you can do is choose, to take that one step forward over the edge or stay where you are." She looked at me. I kept very still and quiet, egging her to continue. "That one step could cause you to fall and break your heart and leave you dead on your lawn. Or there will be an invisible series of steps that actually will lead you to the light. Isn't taking that step a wild thing to do? It's frightening."

I was lost. Not because I didn't understand her analogy, it was because the way she spoke, the way she used her hands to explain, the way her eyes looked like they were miles away but they were on fire. I was like a moth attracted to her eyes, the fire, the flame. Her flame.

"I'm sure you would know about that," she added in a softer voice, giving me a look I couldn't quite place.

"What do you mean?" I asked. _What did this have to do with me?_

"You've been in love right? Angela… and the ex-girlfriends…" She trailed off, ducking her head and blushing.

"Well… yeah I think so?"

Truthfully, I'm not even sure. I think I had though, if you counted me getting upset for a few days before James pulled me out and got me really drunk which led me picking up a girl at some club, shagging her and being called her girlfriend a week later. That was the closest. Girls possess me but they're never mine. I was never really theirs. It struck me how frivolous I had taken this love thing all my life.

Angela was a different case. One day, I found her crying at the stairs near the football field when I was going to visit James after football. Her eyes were red and watery, and her nose all blocked up. She was wearing a simple t-shirt and ripped jeans but I thought she was pretty anyway. I asked her what was wrong and she told me that her boyfriend cheated on her and broke up with her. I told her that he was a dick and that he didn't appreciate her. She looked at me with her red-rimmed eyes and said I was sweet. I held her hand as I led her to the bathroom to wash up. Once in there, she closed the door, pushed me up against the wall and told me that she has had a crush on me for a while. Then she kissed me; I kissed her, because I can't help myself. It was nice, my mind didn't explode from the kiss, but it was nice. She was single, I was single, and so we got together the next day. Sex with her was great, I did like her, even though she now parades me on her arm like some shiny expensive embellishment.

I promised never to cheat on Angela, or on anyone, because that's just moral-less. Do I love her? I think so. Even though I'll admit, using the words 'I think so' might be a cause for concern but I'm just going to ignore that part for now.

I gave her my best reassuring smile, gingerly reached out my hand and lightly patted her thigh, "I'm sure you'll find that person for you." To my surprise, she turned even redder and bit her lip, averting her eyes from mine again. I took in all the signs, and analysed it like a detective, pouring it out and mapping it in my mind. "Wait… are you – do you like someone?"

"No no no, I don't – " She covered her face with her palms, effectively muffling her voice.

I was lucky that Emily was still hiding behind her hands because I reckon I didn't appear excited for her. Something was tugging at me, something foreign, and something small, tugging at the folds of my heart, unsettling and overturning. I felt my mouth, stiff, unwilling to smile. I ripped it open into a twitch. "Who's that lucky," I couldn't bring myself to say it but I did, "Guy?"

The jacket slid off our shoulders and flumped onto the floor; it landed as hard as my heart did. I didn't even bother to put it back on us. And she still didn't unhide herself. I nudged her shoulder with my hand.

She let her hands fall and brought her knees to her chest instead, hugging them. I was quite aware of how her skirt had slid down to her mid thigh and pooled around her. "He… He's… Urgh!" Emily hid her face into her knees.

I felt a little alarmed. She must really like him, and yeah it's a 'him', she just confirmed it. Here's the part where should I behave like the 'best friend', all probing and digging and gushing with her. Except that I can't do it. I can only say this.

"At least tell me what you like about him."

Emily lifted her head and looked into my eyes. Her cheeks were glazed with a tinge of red, her mouth in a line, teeth chewing her lip, her hair was a little tousled by the wind. She still looked beautiful. It was still stormy outside the shelter but my brain wrapped up the noise and stuffed it into an airtight bag; I could only hear my heart expanding and contracting in my ribcage in a painful wheeze as I held my breath. As her eyes searched my face, it displayed – fear? confusion? awkwardness? It was a combination of everything and nothing. She wasn't giving me a fucking clue.

"I like the way – I like – his eyes." She mumbled, staring straight into my own, looking at me as if I was the only one she's looking at. Then she broke the eye contact.

I could feel a little heat rushing to my cheeks. She wasn't talking about me, she was talking about her crush, but why did I react this way? She shouldn't be allowed to look at me like that. With those eyes of hers, it's illegal.

I laughed awkwardly, "You got to give me a better clue than this." She shook her head and turned away from me. I poked her sides and she jolted, grabbing my fingers, flashing at me her don't-poke-me eyes. I jolted, too, from the contact. "You gonna let him know?" I dared a question.

"Nah… It's just – nothing, no big deal." She stumbled over her words and released her hands from my delighted fingers, cradling them in her lap instead,

"Okay," I shrugged, "I'll be here if you need a listening ear, though guys are not really my thing." _What was I supposed to say but just be the friend I'm supposed to be._ "That's wild, liking someone and not letting him know that." I reached for the jacket and covered just her shoulders. I stretched out my legs and supported myself on my elbows. I didn't need to share the jacket anymore. There wasn't a point. "At least do something… tangible, something huge, whatever."

We sat like that and talked for a good long time. I asked about her favourite food, she asked about mine. I asked about her favourite color, she told me about the scar she got on her knee; I talked about basketball more than I should, she listened and shared my excitement; I laid down on the dirty floor, she did the same; I told her about my past, she told me about her parents and annoying brother that shared the same name as James; we both agreed that they should never meet.

It was good; it was appropriate. I liked the way she laughed when I made a joke. I liked the way her eyes danced as she talked about a book she just read. I like the way she drew shapes in the air with her hands as she described an incident at home. I rummaged through my bag and offered her half a chocolate bar, she took it and said that she didn't fancy milk chocolate but she'll eat it because I offered it to her and she was hungry. Most of all, I liked her raspy voice. If she came to my house selling a carton of ice cream with that voice, I would buy the whole shitload and ask her out.

"Hey the rain's stopped!" Emily sat up and got to her feet.

So it has. The sky's cleared up and replaced by the shade of the evening sun. Gold rays mingled with the freshly left rain on the grass around us; everything was aglow, everything smelt like rain, we smelt like the wind after two hours.

"You wear it, I'm fine." I said as Emily tried to hand me my jacket. I got on my bicycle and waited for her to slip on the jacket and hop onto the passenger seat, holding on to my waist again.

I paddled really fast and we barely spoke. In ten minutes, we were outside her house.

"Thanks for the ride," Emily said as she got off, "Though it did take an hour and a half longer than usual." We chuckled.

"I'll go faster next time yeah? Beat the rain."

"Yeah next time." She smiled at me as I realised what I said. "See ya," she gave me a quick hug and hurried up her driveway to the front door before I could even register what happened to me.

And she tucked her brown hair behind her ear and gave a tiny wave and smile before letting herself in.

And in that moment, I swear I fell half in love with her.


	6. Crush

Once again, thank you **fookyeahskins, Aly, .you.4ever, Charming Angel from S, GilmoreRos, M, sexpistols, DNNHK, fakevegan, SevenDevilsInYourHead, dourememberthat, spikie142003** for your generous reviews. I don't think there's much progress in this one but I hope yall like it. A match is coming up because this fic is about basketball sooner or later. Cheers.

I tip my hat to Sylvia Plath and Richard Siken for this one.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Six – Crush<strong>

**Emily**

If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days.

If this statement is unequivocal, I am neurotic.

Because that's how I felt as I wrapped my arms around Naomi's waist as she successfully convinced me her bicycle was better than waiting for the bus; I wanted to be fetched home by her but at the same time I didn't. When she offered her jacket to shield me from the wind, I offered back to share it with her; I wanted to share it with her but I didn't want her to want to share it with me. When I covered her hand with mine and told her I believed she could do it, I so wanted to remove it, yet somehow my brain managed to fail to send the message across to my hand. I wanted to tell her that it was her that I liked but I didn't want to, I didn't and couldn't say it out loud because that would be the end of this friendship, if she felt something for me or didn't. Sometimes do you feel something for the other person, so strongly that you're sure she feels it too? It must be real, right?

That's enough evidence to say, I am neurotic.

And fucking hell, she thinks I like a guy. She thinks I like a guy with great eyes. _Oh Emily explain yourself!_ She must think I'm strange. If I told Katie that I liked someone because of his eyes, she'd snort at me. I can totally imagine her doing that to me now because that isn't the way she describes those poster guys she's gushed over. I can hear her in my head now. _"Oooh look at those muscles Emily, and those abs! And that tight underwear!"_ And so on.

For me, it's about the personality, the wit, the snarkiness, how they can make me laugh at nothing and everything, they way they feel passionate about something that they try not to show it but once you got interested, they can never stop talking about it. And then it's the eyes, when they stare into you, like they're looking into your soul and you try to hide it because you're scared they see something that you don't want them to see.

I swear they could make a two-hour movie with Naomi just staring into the camera and I'll pay to watch it. Twice.

Can I reiterate and elucidate? Her eyes; how much they captivate me. When she talks about basketball, they turn a brilliant hue of crystalline blue that shines so brightly that it's impossible for me not to get sucked in. Then there was another shade of blue, the one that got mixed with the dark skies, which turned her eyes slightly grey; or the other type that look so small and insecure when she doubted her abilities on the court. I wanted to get to know every shade of colour her eyes could display and the emotions they express when she plays and wins a game, or when she loses one, or how they look as she kisses and when she just got out of bed. I want to know everything about her.

I fear that this isn't a crush anymore. It's like, did you ever look at someone and everything about the person is just perfect to you even though you know nothing about him or her yet. That instant connection. I can't quite explain it; I wish I can put it all down in words but they're failing me now.

Spending all these time with Naomi is just solidifying how wonderful it is being with her. I become myself. She just gets me. She sees me for me, and not the other half of a matching pair. Everything flows with her, my words, our words, our touches, our actions, a common understanding.

"Emily." Someone is nudging me, "Emily."

"Yeah?" I turn my attention back to the lady behind me.

"You sure about this?"

"Absolutely." I look at her in the eyes through the mirror.

"Alright then!"

I close my eyes. I have to do this; I wanted to do this for quite a while. After what Naomi said that day about doing something wild, I've decided to go for it.

* * *

><p>"What the fuck did you do to your hair?" Katie yelled at me as soon as I stepped into the house.<p>

"Katie love, language!" My mom chided her. "Why did you dye your hair?" She turned to me with a huge disapproving frown across her features.

"I think it's lovely Emzy!" My dad smiled up at me from the paper he was reading.

"You think so dad?" I beamed at him and settled myself beside him on the couch in our living room, ignoring the deathly stares coming from the other two women.

He ruffled my hair affectionately, "Yeah it makes you look… much more brighter – happier – makes you stand out. I like it!"

"Thanks dad!" I gave him a tight squeeze which he returned with one of his Fitch hugs and kissed the top of my head. "Don't care what they say, I love it." He whispered in my ear.

I kissed his cheek, stood up and announced, "I'm going up to my room!" I skipped past my mom and Katie and went up the stairs two at a time. I was happy, must be something to do with the change of hair colour, also maybe partly my dad approved but more that I did something I really wanted to. I don't care if mom and Katie hate it. For fuck sake, it's just a change in hair colour. Do I really have to get their approval for everything that I want to do? It's not like I tattooed something on my face right? I don't know why they have to kick up such a fuss about it.

I flung open the door of my room, chucked my bag on the floor of my bed and headed straight to the dresser with a mirror. I stood in front of it and actually looked at my hair. I hadn't taken I close look right after I got it done at the hairdresser's. I threw open the curtains, letting the light stream in before returning to the dresser.

I brushed my newly coloured hair with my fingers, holding a lock of it in front of me. Red. I call this colour ruby red, not too dark nor too bright, just red enough for my liking. I think I'll coin it Emily-red. I likey. I wonder if Naomi would like it too.

But this isn't supposed to be about her. I did this for myself, because I'm bored with the plain Emily, the girl with the boring brown hair, shadow of Katie, unpopular girl in school. This was definitely going to stand out. It's not that I want the attention. You know sometimes you just want to do something different, something shocking, that you can't even believe that you had the guts to do it; but you do it anyway and you don't regret it because it makes you feel alive for the first time in a long while. I felt that I'd taken on a new persona, a new me, a different me; I feel like I can become just Emily, and not Emily the twin sister.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Katie stormed into the room, "Why didn't you tell me before you did this?"

"Katie," I huffed as my eyes met hers in the mirror, "Do I seriously have to report to you before I do something?"

"You're my sister of course I will need to know if you do something major," she retorted.

I rolled my eyes, "Seriously? Changing my hair colour is major?" I turned around to face her, my hands on my hips.

"We wouldn't look identical anymore!" She blurted out.

I frowned. Was it important to her that we look identical? I thought it was pretty obvious to everyone that even though we were twins, we were very different from each other. Style wise is a good gauge, next would be the staggering difference in the amount of noise we could emit from our throat. No prizes for guessing who wins hands down.

"What? Are you afraid I'll outshine you with this hair?"

"That's – that's not what I mean." Katie spluttered.

I rolled my eyes again. I didn't give a fuck about upstaging her in school, barely anyone knew who I was anyway so why would they suddenly realise I exist because of my hair colour.

"Right." I gave her a pointed look, "You know, whatever. Sorry I didn't think about your feelings before dying my hair. You know what, you can dye yours red or blue or whatever, I'm not changing mine." I fixed my bestest glare at her. It's time this new Emily showed up, stood up for herself, made her own decisions, wrote her own rules.

"Ahhrrgghh!" Katie rumbled something abrasive from her throat and stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut.

Sighing in relief, I flopped myself backwards onto my bed and rested my head on my open palms, still with a silly grin on my face. Standing up for my rights felt good. I should do this more often.

* * *

><p>"Sorry."<p>

"You're _what_?"

"Geez, for fuck sake do you need me to repeat it? I'm SORRY." Katie emphasized, not without turning a delicate shade of red.

"What for?" I was confused; I stopped midway while changing to go school.

"For – for behaving like a bitch over your hair colour." She chewed over her words. Katie doesn't chew her words.

"Oh that." I nodded and shrugged on my top, "It's okay, no big deal." I didn't want to make it uncomfortable for Katie because I know my sister, she hardly apologises. This is hard for her. She must have meant it.

"It is." Katie continued not catching on that I'm trying to make it easy for her, "I guess I freaked out when you did it be – because I realised people are going to take notice of you and barely take a look at me – but I – I realise how fucking selfish I am. It's like – we couldn't look identical anymore and people are going to know. But I'm sorry, I shouldn't have – and really, that red looks good on you." She was nervous, probably shitting herself for being all confessional and shit.

I hugged her, because sometimes the only way to communicate your feelings is through a simple hug. "Apology accepted," I pulled back and looked into the similar pair of eyes looking all bashful and awkward. "You know, I wouldn't mind if you did turn your hair as red as mine, or blue, or even blonde." I smirked at her.

"Eck blonde?" Katie stuck out her tongue and gave a disgusted face, "No fucking way. I might look like that blonde lezza, or worse, get mistaken as her kind."

I resisted rolling my eyes and threw her a squinty frown look, "You really don't like Naomi, do you? Why? She's a really great person if you get to know her better."

"Well because – because she's – she's…"

"A lesbian? She likes girls?" I fumed. "God you're such a prude."

"It's not that!" She tried to defend herself but I glared at her, "Yes maybe a bit about that. Emzy I'm afraid she'll turn you into something like her."

"What the fuck? Do you think spending time with her will turn me gay?" I raised my voice indignantly. Somewhere in the back of my mind I did a double take. I didn't turn gay because I spent time with her and actually liked her quite a bit, more than I should and more than I thought I could. I'm not even gay; I just like Naomi, period. I don't fancy other girls like how I fancy Naomi, so how can that make me gay? How can spending time with her turn me gay? I had my doubts but I chucked it away because whatever Katie said was even more absurd than the theory that was in my head. "Look, I won't stop being friends with her. Okay? I don't care if you don't agree with this." My tone was final and Katie nodded albeit grudgingly.

We dressed in silence. It wasn't the cold war kind of silence but I had to get this across to her, that she cannot keep telling me what to do, who to make friends with or who to marry in the future. I don't control whom she picks for a boyfriend or whom she hangs out with. I care, but caring has it limitations. I love her, I really do, but she needs to let me live my life my way.

* * *

><p>Katie was quite right, I got lots of looks and stares. Just by walking through the hallway, I got guys and girls turning their head to get a second look at me. Initially, I wasn't counting the number of people that took a second stare but I started counting and the numbers are increasing by the tens. I think it was also because Katie was walking beside me, and maybe, people suddenly realised there was two of us. You know how sometimes people can be that oblivious.<p>

I didn't soak up the attention like a well-trained supermodel; in fact, I almost wished I didn't change my hair colour. I was so used to not being looked at, what more getting stared at? I experienced a variety of stares today, enough to write a full journal entry, should I even have one, documenting the various expressions.

Most of the guys I passed looked at me in surprise disbelief; a couple of them gave a wolf-whistle. I didn't dare to turn to see who did it nor dare to look at Katie's face. I heard a pile of books drop, but I'm not too sure if I was the cause of it. A guy walked into the pillar, but I don't think I was the cause of it too. The girls collectively gave mixed looks. Some of them gave me a pleasant smile, some couldn't stop staring, a few were checking me out, and I meant it in a way that they were sizing me up and making sure I wasn't a threat to them. I reckoned if Katie wasn't my sister, she'd be doing the same thing.

Then I saw Naomi. Technically, I saw Angela first who had her hand attached to Naomi's. They were walking towards my direction but on the other side of the hall. Of course I was looking out for Naomi, I always do, I admit. Passing bodies of students separated us, though enough to leave gaps for visual recognition. Angela spotted me first and actually tugged Naomi's hand to pull her in another direction. That bitch. But luckily Naomi gave a casual glance around and her eyes met mine. She stopped midstride, dead weight against the flow of bodies. At the corner of my eye, I saw her craning her neck for a better look. I think she's looking at me. I really, really hope she's trying to look at me! I turned my head back as we passed in opposite directions, there were too many students between us; everyone was in the hall heading towards class. I saw Naomi do the same though hers were quick backward glances as she tripped over her feet while Angela finally succeeded in eradicating her from the spot.

Inside me spread a small, warm and happy feeling. Did I really cause Naomi to take not one but _five _backward glances at me? She was looking at me! She was looking at me! I got to give all the credit to my hair. Excellent choice Emily.

"Seems like you've caught the lezza's eye." Katie suddenly spoke. Shit I kind of forgot Katie was walking beside me all the while.

"Yeah? Many people were looking at me too." I huffed.

"Right. Just be careful yeah, I don't like the way she was looking at you."

I rolled my eyes in reply. Naomi wasn't looking at me in any other way, there's no other way. She could be just shocked from my hair colour, like I would be if she suddenly changed her hair colour to black. Katie was always blowing things out of proportion.

* * *

><p>I walked out of class after my last English period. I had a couple of concentration issues. Mainly whether I was going to see Naomi after class and what her reaction would be to my wildest action to date. I hadn't high hopes of meeting her; I didn't even know what class she had on now or what's her next class or where she would be at now if she didn't had class. I hate how little I knew about these unimportant things and how much I realised I wanted to know. We never exchanged details about our class timings. I guess we just weren't important enough in each other's lives to know such trivial details.<p>

"You look hot in this new hair colour." Suddenly a low voice was just beside my left ear. I felt the tickle of breath and shuddered, maybe because of the breath, maybe because I just heard the voice of the girl I so wanted to meet. And just like that, my heart rate skyrocketed and all my concerns pertaining to what she would think about it evaporated, because Naomi just said she liked my hair.

I turned my head in the direction of her voice and came close to hitting her lips with my lips. I say 'hitting' because the intention of kissing wasn't even there. Her mouth was just too close and my reactions were much too fast. Our lips managed to somehow miss each other's by mere millimetres. That didn't stop me from taking in a sharp breath in shock.

"Oh sorry." Naomi drew back quickly; apparently realising she was just far too close. I looked at her; her cheeks had a very faint tinge of blush. She still looked pretty, with that messy ponytail and basketball singlet attire. Her eyes were very blue today. Only I would have noticed; I spent weeks learning the colours. You'd think the more you look at someone, you'd memorise her, the way she walks or talks or the way she curls her lips when she smiles and so on. The more I see her, the more I discover new expressions and actions; they fascinate me; she fascinates me, I don't think I can ever or want to memorise her.

I shook my head and dropped a shy smile, thinking about this wasted opportunity.

And that is the moment I reaslied that I now wanted to kiss Naomi. Probably I'd been denying myself, that I just wanted to be really good friends with her; to help her out with her math; to be her biggest fan on the court; and now I actually want to be all of that, and kiss her too. I wanted to kiss her against the wall; I wanted to wrap my fingers around her soft blonde hair and kiss her till we just forgot the world still exists around us; I wanted her to return the kiss like she meant it as I would.

I have more than a crush on her.

"Thank you." I managed to find my voice after that near lip miss. I could feel my face heating up. Why is my face heating up so easily? Sometimes I hate how my body reacts when Naomi's around me.

"Really suits you, you know." She reached out and tentatively touched the ends of my hair, slightly rubbing it through her fingers. Oh those lucky strands of hair, how I wished I were them.

"Yeah?"

She dropped the hair and quickly pulled back, as though she suddenly realised what she was doing, crossing the boundaries. "Hot is an understatement." She winked at me, "Why did you do it?"

"I wanted to do this for a long time – you know, but never really go around to do it. I think it's wild – something you would approve of I suppose, though not one of the options you listed." I threw her a grin and delighted when her face lit up, a sparkle in her eyes.

"Damn right I do!"

"Where's Angela?" I asked, suddenly quite aware of the absence of the joined-at-the-hip girlfriend.

Naomi looked wildly around her, "Oh I thought you meant – " She emitted a breath of relief and shrugged, "Ah she's got another class, somewhere."

As we passed through doors at the hallway, I chuckled, feeling relieved too. I don't know what is it about their relationship but I still don't understand why Naomi would fall for that sort of girl. Well who am I to judge? Me? The girl that never fell in love? I don't have a say.

"Where are you going now?" Naomi shyly asked me. She was looking at me sideways through the corners of her eyes, like she was afraid of asking such a question.

"Library – helping out today. You've practice today am I right?" Her in her basketball attire was a no brainer.

"Yep. Walkyoutolibrary?" Those words tumbled out so fast that I almost missed them.

"But it's not along the way." It wasn't, but I really, really hoped Naomi would insist. I really do contradict myself. My mouth and head are at constant war.

"Yeah it isn't." Naomi nodded softly. _Oh me and my stupid mouth._ "But since I couldn't walk you to class last time, this will make up for it. Besides, I've time before practice starts." Her eyes shyly met mine again and my heart inwardly soared again.

"But – " I pretended to protest.

"Oh just let me, you." She poked my waist with her finger and I jumped. Did I mention I'm terribly afraid of tickles? No? Let me say that, I really am afraid of being tickled and I hate to be tickled. Katie, on the contrary, doesn't have this bundle of sensitive nerves, so yeah more twin differences. But Naomi tickling me? I like that; I welcome that; I might even crave for that. I like how comfortable she is and we are together.

"Don't do that!" I pouted, "You know I'm sensitive there!" _No I don't mind you tickling me, please read the pretext._

Naomi flashed a cheeky grin at me, "I know your weakness." She gave a mock evil laugh and reached for my sides again.

"Don't you dare!" I grabbed her finger with one hand while I tried to do the same to her while squirming out of her reach. We had a little mini fight there, right in the hall. I fucking loved this. She can tickle me anytime, anywhere, any day.

"That's not very gentlewomanly Naomikins!" A voice appeared behind us. "Yer got her all roughed up."

I looked up and saw Cook striding towards us with Effy and Freddie behind him. We dropped our hands quickly, like we were doing something illegal here that we wanted to pretend we didn't. Naomi was looking pink from laughing and a little awkward. Effy was smirking at us and Freddie was giving an amused look. Cooked looked at me and his grin widened.

"Emilio! Yer lookin' fockin' hot in tha' hair." He bent over and half whispered into my ear, "It's doin' sumfin' to lil' Cookie here."

Firstly, I've never actually spoken to Cook before so him calling me with a nickname was surprising. Secondly, I've no idea who's little Cookie.

"You keep your paws away from her James." Naomi snapped at him. "You're not her type of guy."

"Naomi yer hurt muh feelin's." He clutched his heart, "She's hot, I'm hot, we can – you know – " He started waggling his eyebrows. I was growing uncomfortable with where this was going. I wished I knew what to say. Katie would know what to do, fending off unwanted attention. Cook wasn't my kind of guy; I didn't even have a kind of guy just an imaginary crush on an imaginary boy.

Naomi swatted his head with her hand, "I'm warning you James," her voice was icy cold, "she's not the kind of girl that'll fuck anyone." I thought they were best friends. I didn't want they to quarrel over me. I'm not even under the category of fuckable girls. Honestly, I did feel a little, just a little, flattered that Cook would see me in that way. Does Naomi think I'm fuckable? Wait, let's not get there.

"Mate don't push it." Freddie tried to save the situation.

"Al'wite Naomi, she's yer girl. Yer know I won't touch no girl of yers." He winked at her.

"She's not – "

"I think you should be going somewhere am I right?" Effy spoke up for the first time, directing it to Naomi. She hadn't said a word throughout the exchange; she was just listening, watching with her eyes, all along with a smirk. Something about the way she looks at me unsettles me, like she's observing me. Like she can look at me in the eye and read all my secrets. I feel like I need to hide from her. Do I need to hide anything? Only the fact that I might no longer have a crush on Naomi which might really cause some serious trouble to my heart.

"Oh that's right. C'mon Em."

"Bye Emily." Freddie smiled and Effy nodded.

"Love you Naomikins!" Cook blew a kiss to Naomi which she rolled her eyes and chuckled. They are friends; no love lost between them. "See yer around Emilio." Cook grinned at me but he had already dropped the lewdness. His look on me was a different one this time, I can't quite place it but if this was the James Cook I had met earlier on, I would have liked him instantly.

I increased my pace and caught up with Naomi who had proceeded on without waiting for me. "Wait up, Naoms!" And just like that, a nickname for her casually slipped out of my lips. I like how easy all this is, and how terrifying how easy this has become.

She was looking straight ahead, her eyes seemed miles away yet they seem to hold a mixture of expressions – Lost? Pondering? Anxiety? I can't exactly pinpoint which but I know I didn't like it. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. I don't know how what propelled me to do such a brave action but my hands seemed to have a thought of its own, reaching out and encasing hers in mine. I regretted it immediately, a panic shooting through my nerves. What if she pulls away and thinks it's inappropriate?

I released by grip, hoping this incident would go unnoticed, blotted out in this documentation of our friendship. To my utter surprise, excitement, elation and shock, she gripped my hand. A tingling sensation that didn't happen initially, immediately spread from that point of contact to my fingertips, through my arm to my body and smashed incisively into the heart of my heart. Naomi is holding my hand back. My heart is ricocheting in my rib cage; the senses of every atom in my body had increased their sensitivity from this mere contact.

I know, I know, it's not the first time our hands touched. I shook hands with her once; we grabbed each other's fingers as we tried to tickle each other; we also had many brushes with our hands but I had no fucking idea why this simple action of holding hands had stirred up something different in me.

"Sorry about just now, you know, James is always like that with the girls – especially the pretty ones – I hope he didn't make you feel uncomfortable." We stared at each other, both realising that she'd admitted that I was pretty again. She did call me 'beautiful' once in the shelter that time but I just can never get used to being surprised that a girl like her who has dated so many girls before, could call me pretty, what more beautiful.

She was blushing and looking awkward and sweet. She looked like she was mentally kicking herself for saying that again, like how she was kicking herself when she called me beautiful. I would really think she would have liked me and was hitting on me but then I thought about her words, about how she doesn't date her friends and about the girlfriend she still has. Her liking me is just not very possible. Not possible, not possible. I bet she says this to all the girls.

"No he didn't." I gave her a reassuring smile, "It's quite a change in fact, guys hitting on me, I never get that."

"Oh…" She looked down. She looked – upset? Oh fuck, did I say something wrong? "Then they must be quite blind because you," she let go of my hand and used her fingers to brush my fringe out of my eyes, "are absolutely beautiful."

And I believed her, just like that, because of the way she was looking at me with such sincerity in her eyes and the way she said it. She meant it, I could feel it.

"And you not even realising it, makes you even more beautiful." She added.

My heart melted into a puddle of Emily-goo. Never, has anyone, told me I was beautiful in that tone, with that lip bite and that look in her eyes that displayed a sense of panic. This is the second time that I cannot deny the fact that I think I fell for Naomi and I almost believed she could feel the same way too. I hope I'm right, because I've very little to compare to. There she was, looking at me like she thought she said something she shouldn't have said out loud. It was almost like how she looked when she called me beautiful in that shelter. I kept finding startling similarities in her expressions here and at the shelter. That place would be an epoch in my life. It was there that we shared ourselves to each other.

"Thank you." I mumbled, "You know you're not so bad yourself."

She lowered her eyes and gave a small smile, "I hope James isn't that guy that you like because…" She trailed off.

"Definitely not." I gave a feeble chuckle. _It's you! It's you!_ I wanted to scream at her right there in the hallway and confess that I liked her since a long, long time ago and that I realised that I like her more than a girl should like other girls and I wanted her to want me like how I wanted her.

Of course I did absolutely nothing like that. Sometimes in life, you'll never have the guts to do the things you wished you had guts to do. This was one of them, one of mine. But the moment will pass and you wait for another moment like this to find it's way to you again, and you promise yourself that you will have the guts next time; maybe.

"I'd better get going." I said, because I needed to get away from this, from her, before I do something I'll regret.

"Yeah me too."

"All the best for your game next week yeah."

"Thank you." She nodded.

Both of us didn't move. We just stood there looking at each other, you know, just looking, again, like we both didn't want to leave. You tell me, am I only the one that's reading all these wrong? If I am, please just fucking tell me and teach me to read it right! Because I'm just so confused and scared that I'm just making all these up in my head and that all these doesn't actually mean a thing to her. Nothing's worse than finding out that you're the one that's been deceiving yourself all this time. Siken once wrote that it's twenty times better to be friends with someone than it is to be in love with them. I guess he's right, in a way. And I'm not in love with Naomi, I really can't be.

Naomi cleared her throat, "Okay – umm – see you around yeah." She bent forward and kissed my cheek and disappeared before I could even react to that.

Naomi. Kissed. My. Cheek.

I tried to replay the scene in my head. It was too fast. I was trying to visual the whole incident in slow-mo. Her face crawling centimetre by centimetre towards mine; the flutter of her eyes as she shut them; the feeling of her lips that ghosted by cheek. I gently brought my fingers and touched the supposed spot. It was less than a kiss I got to admit. I tried to remember how her lips felt on my cheek but I realised that I couldn't even feel it. It was like the lips of the wind lightly kissing the tips of the grass. I couldn't commit it to memory. I'll just have to hang on to the fact that she did kiss me but I probably missed it because of my inexperience. That should be good enough for now.

But Naomi kissed me. What does that mean? Was that just a friendly gesture? Was there something more? What was the possibility of her feeling the same way about me? Does she catch a breath when I look at her? Is she holding back like how I'm holding back? Are we just friends? Is there more? Am I crazy or falling in love? Or is it really just another crush?

No. One thing I do know now, it is not just another crush.


	7. Crazy For This Girl

Thank you **fookyeahskins, GilmoreRos, M, sexpistols, , DontBeIgnorant23, emilioman, Param0re1, SevenDevilsInYourHead, MisguidedGhostt, Valsy, KarlangazK2, fakevegan, dourememberthat and Red-out **for the reviews. Both the new reviewers and especially the recurring ones.

And yes **MisguidedGhostt, **way to go for spotting the intentional lyrics! I found it really fitting for the situation.

And thank you all for assuring me that there's progress when I'm shitting myself thinking it sucks:)

I didn't mean to write 8k+ words or update so fast but that's what unemployment does to you. Bad for health and the bank account. And I apologise in advance for the clichéness of the latter scene (do not scoll down) but it works, well I hope it does anyway. And I hope yall can also visualize the basketball scenes. Kinda makes me miss playing basketball.

Anyway happy belated Valentine's day or if you're like me, happy Singles-Awareness day.

Oh okay longest author's note ever, I should stfu now.

I haven't started writing the next chapter.

But thanks for thinking this is worth leaving a review. Thanks for being great. Hope y'all like it.

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><p><strong>Chapter Seven – Crazy For This Girl<strong>

**Naomi**

The level of noise in the indoor court went up a few notches over the minutes. Students were starting to enter and take seats, puncturing the dull coloured court with their various brightly coloured tops. Some ardent basketball fans were wearing similar copies of our jersey; a few others were carrying flags; some were carrying noise-inducing objects. Our mascot was parading around the court, getting the students into the atmosphere. I panned my head across the stands where the students sat, taking in all these. Many students were talking loudly to each other, yelling over the din; bunches of students coagulated all over the stands. The stands weren't filled up yet but it will be in half an hour's time. One thing was for sure, excitement was evident in most of their faces. Who knew everyone would be so into Roundview's women's basketball.

This wasn't the case last year. The women's team had started out as nobodies. The bunch of seniors before us the year before hadn't won the school enough matches to gather interest from the whole school. People were mostly into football. At least most of the female population was and the whole lot of guys that dreamed of being the next Messi. Who wanted to watch a bunch of girls play basketball? I wouldn't even want to watch myself play if I thought we would suck like our seniors.

When our new team was selected, there weren't any expectations because people expect us to suck and expected us to lose and never make it to the finals last year. The turnout for our first match was just an eighth of the stands. We won that one. Our second match had roughly same turnout. We won that one too. Actually we won five games in a row, lost one, and then won a few more. By then, our principal was starting to broadcast our results and achievements to the students and people were starting to take interest. For one of our early knockout stages, half the school turned up to watch us play.

It was sensational. Having half the school actually turn up and actually give a shit about what you do is a feeling that you just can't get used to, that you can't imagine that that would ever happen. We were from nobodies to actual basketball players for our school where people actually took time to watch us. The responsibilities were huge, we had our winning reputation at stake, the school's reputation at stake and our own reputation to build. That's a fuckload of expectations.

By the time we got to the quarterfinals, the whole school had turned up to watch us play. I was proud, not of myself, but of my team, of what we had achieved together. Sure people tend to value certain players more than others in the team but for me, I wouldn't be able to achieve this success without them and I wouldn't trade anyone for anyone in my team. Win or lose, we breathe success and failure together.

I play because I love the game. I play because I fucking love the adrenaline being on the court gives me. It's my drug. It's a much healthier, legal and mind-blowing drug than any other drug in the world. Once you get a taste of adrenaline and success, you crave for it every time. As I did my final warm-up routine at the side of the court with my teammates, I felt my adrenaline addiction kicking up again. I was fidgety, I wanted to start bouncing the ball and shooting hoops. I wanted to win. Today.

I looked up at the stands and witnessed James settling down on one of the seats in the stand with Freddie and Effy on his right and, I did a double take and widened my eyes to make sure I wasn't seeing things, Emily on his left. What is he doing sitting with Emily! The even stranger thing is that Katie was sitting on Emily's left and JJ, Pandora and Thomas was sitting on Katie's left. Now that is a very strange combination of people sitting in a row. It almost seemed like they were jumbled haphazardly together like colourful odd loose pieces in a lego box. I didn't even know James knew Emily's friends existed.

James was talking to Emily, really closely in her ear I must say, and Emily was nodding and laughing along with him. Katie looked like she was sulking as she tried to get into the conversation James and Emily were having. Okay it must be because it was getting really loud so he had to attach his stupid mouth near her ear.

_His stupid mouth._ I suddenly realised my mind had formed those words. There it was, that twinge of pain in my heart again. I had felt it before. It wasn't a new pain. I felt it on the day she told me she liked a guy with nice eyes, and the day James hit on her when I was walking her to the library. It's back again. I'm jealous. I have a green-eyed pocket-sized monster climbing out of my heart wanting to claw James' eyes for looking at Emily like that.

I'd already admitted to myself, I liked Emily in a way that's more than just platonic. I knew it the moment she hugged me after I sent her home after the rain, and confirmed it when I held her hand and kissed her cheek in the hallway that day. It was a huge problem because one, I have a girlfriend and to think of another girl like that when I'm together with Angela is cheating to me. Two, I think Emily is straight but whatever signals she's sending to my mind is confusing the fuck out of me. Three, Emily told me she liked a guy. Four, if these were all just in my head, I don't want to ruin this friendship if I confessed I liked her and she actually didn't see me in that way. I have so many problems that my life could be turned into a dramatic tv series.

James did look like he was hitting on Emily again. That prick! And Emily looked like she was having a great time talking to him and being in his company. I must be staring because Emily suddenly looked up at me and broke into a wide smile that could have split her face in half. I returned an equally huge similar smile and gave a dorky little wave. Fuck I'm useless, never can control my limbs around her can I? _It is not cool for a basketball player to wave!_ She lifted her right hand, I just noticed that she was holding a tiny flag; you know those triangular shaped flags that flap feebly on a stick, and waved it at me cutely. It was cute; the way she waved it at me was so cute that I didn't know what to do with myself. James stuck out his both arms and waved maniacally at me in support then cupping his hands over his mouth and made a loud whooping cheer. The sound resounded around the court and people started to cheer in the same way. It was as though someone turned up the volume of the speakers to the maximum decibel.

"Hey baby!" Someone behind me covered my eyes. No prizes for guessing who that was.

I spun around, dislodging her hands from my eyes, "What are you doing here? You know I don't like you coming here before the match." I didn't like to be distracted before a match, my focus had to be there. I definitely got a little distracted looking at James and Emily at the stands but I guess I could sort of take it out on Angela because she was here. I'm such a terrible girlfriend.

"Sorry baby," She said in a childish voice that didn't show she was actually sorry, "Just wanted to give you my support." _Yeah more likely show off that I belong to her._ She lunged at me before I could back away and placed a very sloppy kiss on my lips, her hands circling around me, but she pulled away in half a second. "Ewww! You're all sweaty already!" She shrieked and grabbed the nearest towel and wiped away at her arms.

I was, because I perspire rather easily especially when I'm feeling the heat in the court, the pressure and the excitement all contained in me. "Alright, thank you, I'll see you after the match okay." I wanted to get rid of her as soon as I could. I wondered if Emily saw that. I sneaked a glance at her and found her resolutely talking to James. Oh well, I don't think so then.

"See ya baby." She blew me a kiss, turned her heel and walked off, probably to find her bunch of minions or whatever.

"Clinger that one is, hard to shake her off." My teammate Ashley nodded at Angela.

"Yeah." I replied.

"But she's kind of hot, if that's what you're in to." She shrugged and continued doing her stretching.

Well the thing is, is that what I'm really in to now? Am I in to girls like that? If I really like girls like that, why don't I feel that kind of attraction or static anymore from her that I get from being near to Emily? This is really, really fucked up. I pushed aside all thoughts on this, I've got a match to win today, can't let this get into my head now.

.

.

Shannon passed the ball to me after collecting a rebound. I received it and bounced past the half-court line and looked up, expecting to find Cindy ahead of me. She was, unguarded, a few steps faster than the defense of the other team. I passed the ball to her and ran to the circumference of the three-point line. The defense was on me and I was guarded by a girl much taller than me. Cindy passed the ball to Ashley who lifted her hands to shoot. In a split second, she made a pivot turn away from her defender and made a bounce pass to me which I had successfully outran my defender, received the ball and made a jump shot. My defender knocked into me as I made the shot, probably hoping for a last attempt to make the block.

My shot went in and the shrill of the whistle sounded again. The referee pointed to the free throw line. My defender groaned in frustration. We were well into the third quarter and we had quite a huge margin. The opposing team's defense was in shambles, they were scattering around like ants on a hot concrete ground. They were in a fluster and were making silly fouls, giving away free points.

I walked up to the free throw line to take my shot. The referee bounced the ball over to me and I held it in my hands. I twirled the ball on my finger for a second and bounced the ball twice before getting into my shooting stance. It was a habit that I did all the time; it gave me comfort and assurance. The noise from the crowd diminished and waited with baited breath as I halted a couple of seconds before taking the shot. I uncurled my spine and reenacted the well-practiced motion of my arms and flick of my wrist as I released the ball from my grasp. It fell sweetly through the hoop emitting my favourite sound in the whole world: the swoosh sound of the ball falling through the hoop. Another three-point play. I saw coach Anthea high-five one of our subs. The crowd erupted in screams and cheers. My face burst into a huge smile. The score counter flicked to fifty-one to the other team's thirty. The referee blew the whistle to signal the end of the third quarter.

After a quick wipe and drink, we were back on. I glanced in the direction of Emily and saw her cheering with James and the rest. Her face was effusing with excitement as she shouted the cheers that were going on. It felt good, to know that she was cheering for me, for the team. Suddenly her eyes met mine and, if it was even possible, her smile expanded and she flashed me two thumbs up. And just like that, I wanted so much to impress her even more. I wanted to show her that I was as awesome as she thought I was and even more than that.

"Ten minutes!" I called out to my team, "Defense now! Remember how we practiced!"

And man did we play well, I shot another handful of points, defended like my life depended on it and intercepted many loose balls. We were on a rampage. The score was sixty-two to thirty four, I felt a little bad for the other team to be thrashed like this but this is basketball, this is about winning.

Whenever I turned my head to access the play before me, my eye always caught the flash of red. Whenever I received a ball and scanned the area, I saw that red. I think it's Emily's hair. It was always at the same place I found that colour. It's like my eyes are automatically drawn to that area where she sat at. It gave me a sense of confidence.

There was a collective shout from the crowd as I intercepted another loose ball at the edge of the other team's three-point line. I shot off towards my hoop with a burst of pace, no one was ahead of me, and I was on my own. I knew what I had to do. I geared myself up for the shot and my mind flashed back on the million times I practiced a layup. I approached the hoop at an angle and took the two prior steps before making the shot. I lifted my body off the floor as I jumped; I was going to do a safe and normal overarm layup but the adrenaline was rushing into my head. I felt like I was invincible plus we had a huge margin, a little showoff wouldn't hurt right?

At the last fraction of a second before the shot is released, I brought my arms back down and under the opposite side of hoop, then flicking my wrist and releasing the ball for a reverse layup. My reputation was at stake, the ball had to get it. My eyes followed the ball as it deflected itself on the right top corner of the box and into the net. There was another roar of approval from the crowd. I was fucking flaunting my moves and they loved every bit of it. I whipped my head to where Emily was sitting again but I saw James first. He was standing up and punching his fist into the air, shouting something I couldn't quite make out. Every inch of his face was covered with pride for me.

Emily was also standing but James who was naturally bigger in height and size blocked her. She was cupping her hands over her mouth and cheering. I wider grin overtook my face. My two favourite persons cheering for me. Oh so now Emily's my second favourite person? It doesn't feel right. Let me correct that, James is my favourite male person and Emily's my favourite female person, they've got equal positions. Still, that felt wrong, yet so right.

Ashley came over and gave me a fist-bump. "Fucking showoff," she joked, "must be for your girl."

Indeed, but I'm not quite sure which girl she was referring to. I was certain though that it was for Emily.

At last, the game clock reduced the time to zero. The referee blew the whistle and it was over. We won sixty-six to thirty-six. I shook hands with the players from the other team before running to my teammates, group hugging them and cheered with them. I can never get used to the feeling of winning.

Someone pulled me out of the group. I turned to face coach Anthea, "Don't you dare do that again!" She barked at me. Oops, I'm in trouble. I guess she was referring to my reverse layup. I shrugged and gave her a sheepish grin. "You're lucky that you're awesome. Well done today." She broke into a smile and thumped me on my back before proceeding to congratulate my teammates.

My next natural instinct was to turn to where Emily sat again. The celebrations were still on and I saw James and Emily hugging, in the celebratory way, but it still got me riled up. I told James to keep his hands off Emily! I know, Emily isn't mine and I'm not supposed to get all worked up on who she likes to talk to or laugh with or hug but I just gets me all fucking annoyed that I can't be the only one that she could talk to, laugh and hug and maybe kiss, this freely. I think I'm going fucking crazy for this girl.

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><p>"To Naomi, muh brother – Oww! muh best mate for fockin' ownin' tha' game! Cheers!" James yelled. We threw the shot of vodka down the back of our throats and collectively slammed our shot glasses on the wooden table.<p>

We were in a shitty little pub called Keith's celebrating after my win. We always go for a round of drinks after every match, win or lose. And 'we' I meant my gang plus the girlfriend. It's a permanent thing after she insisted one day that she should be included when I told her that I wanted to hang out with my friends. It's alright to me, I'm happy, she's happy, a win-win situation.

"To my baby," Angela held out another shot, "for being so wonderful!" She held the shot glass in front of my mouth and I brought the one I was holding to hers, and we downed it together. The rest did the same. "And for being so hot and sexy," she whispered in my ear. I shuddered. I think it's because of the alcohol and not because I felt that was a turn on. I felt her hot breath of my cheek as she bent over and brushed her lips against mine and kissed me. I returned the kiss back like a good girlfriend not because I wanted to but because I was in the moment and she wasn't a bad kisser. She tasted like raspberry and chapstick. Somewhere I heard James fake retch loudly and I didn't even really care.

Seriously what is happening to me? I don't feel that kind of passion and excitement with Angela anymore. When she kissed me, I returned it out of duty, like I was trained to do it. Where is that tingle they say all the time in books that's supposed to spread through your body like a raging fire, and that you want to place your hands under their clothes and do things to them even if you're in public, or that fireworks that you're supposed to see exploding at the back of your shut eyes as you kiss them every time? All these symptoms are _supposed _to happen, and I didn't get any of them.

As though sensing that I wasn't spontaneous, Angela hooked her right leg over my right leg, pressing her body flush against my own. She grabbed my right hand and placed it firmly on her ass then cupping my face with both her hands and tried to deepen the kiss. It wasn't out of the ordinary either; she always liked these kinds of public displays. I was just like a wooded doll being arranged to the best possible position to suit her.

I think it worked, to a certain extent. I opened my mouth as I felt her tongue pushing through my lips, my tongue meeting hers as we kissed. My hand that was at first lying like a dead weight on her ass, automatically started to knead and grab it and she started to push herself further into me, while taking one hand off my face and sliding it down my body to my inner thigh and up again. I was getting into it. Told you I had the mind of a teenage boy.

I liked this, being wanted by someone. I mean, I'm someone yeah, my team won a match for fuck sake, I could have any girl. But this girl wants me and I let her want me, for whatever reason that is I can't care now, all I know is that I'm getting buzzed and this feeling is great. It would be better if it was Emily, but since I can never have that, I'll settle for this. I know I am being a completely selfish and self-absorbed tit but I can't help it. And I think I just disclosed the fact that I rather wanted Emily to do all these things Angela was doing to me right now.

"Get a fockin' room Naomikins." James waggled his tongue at me. I broke the kiss and rolled my eyes at him. "You guys are makin' me feel left out, I gotta get me some pussy action."

James prided himself as a playboy that's not into relationships and will fuck any girl that comes onto him but deep inside I know he's searching for the one, the right girl but he's covering his insecurities by fucking around. I'm like him I think. I know Angela's not the one, but I'm looking past this because I've her and I hadn't met anyone, until now. But I'm still not sure that I'm sure about it either.

"How about that girl I saw you sitting with today?" Angela suddenly spoke up, "What's her name, Emma, Emilia or whatever – that girl with that slutty red hair."

I froze. She was talking about Emily. Emily with her new gorgeous red hair. _It isn't slutty!_ I wanted to scream at her. I was furious, how dare she use such a comment on Emily. I kept my best poker face on and tried to look nonchalant. I caught Effy's eye; she was staring at me, watching me for a reaction. It was uncanny; I don't know why she was looking at me like that.

"Yer mean Emily?" James replied after taking a huge swallow from his jar of beer. "Wha' bout her?"

"Looks like you're into her, or at least she looks like she's into you. She could do with a good fuck. The way she was looking at you was like she hadn't had a fuck in ages." Angela laughed and I wanted to strangle her throat till she died. How dare she talk about Emily like that? Emily is the purest, most benign, most innocuous and most innocent girl I've know and here is Angela blabbering a load of shit about her. I felt my anger rise five levels and I pushed Angela off me but not hard enough to make it like I was annoyed with her, and grabbed my beer on the table, taking a huge gulp to calm myself.

James started, "Naw Emily's – " I threw him a sharp look, warning him not to shoot his mouth, "Emily's Naomi's friend an' mine too. I won't do no girl who's our friend." _Good answer James. I will hold your word for it._

"Still," Angela continued. _Why can't she just shut her fucking mouth already!_ "I don't get why people are staring at her new hair colour. It's not like she's pretty or what. Am I right baby?" She stared at me expectantly waiting for my reply.

I shrugged, still continuing to feign disinterest, "Sure." _Fuck you Angela, Emily is pretty, beautiful and gorgeous. She's smart, funny and has this great voice that sounds so much nicer than yours. She's worth a million times more than you. _I had to get out of here before I blurted out the internal monologue in my head. "Gotta go to the restroom." I stood up and slowly made my way to the toilet, feeling a little oozy from the alcohol. I was quite a lightweight.

I pushed through the doors. Thankfully there was no one there. I turned the tap and splashed the cold water on my face. _Get a grip on yourself. What you're feeling about Emily is normal. She's your good friend and you hate people to talk stuff that isn't true behind her back, that's why you're reacting this way._ I stared at my own image in the mirror, looking into my own slightly dilated blue eyes and taking a deep breath. _It's not true; she's not only your good friend. You like her that's why you're feeling like this. _I'm in fucking deep shit.

Suddenly the doors opened and Effy stepped in and closed the door behind her.

"You alright?" She asked, her eyes watching me. She's always watching me these days, like that time in the hallway, in the cafeteria, and just then. It's like she's looking at some part of me that I don't even know yet. We are friends, but I preferred if she didn't keep staring because I feel quite exposed when she stares at me like that.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

She nodded. _What's that supposed to mean? _I can never read Effy properly. "It's Emily's birthday tomorrow," she suddenly said.

My mind stumbled over the words for a couple of seconds to make sense of it because I couldn't believe the abruptness and objective of the information. "Huh? Wha – how did you – "

"It's Emily's birthday tomorrow." She repeated again, patiently. "I overheard Katie trying not to announce it yesterday."

"Okay… and why are you telling me this?"

She looked at me with a raised eyebrow as though expecting I should catch on to something she had telepathically told my mind. Why would she know when Emily's birthday was? Even I didn't know that. What kind of friend am I? But most importantly, why does she think I will need to know this information? What did she know? The fact that I liked Emily couldn't be obvious, can it?

Effy rolled her eyes, "You're having a headache."

"What?" I was majorly confused, "No I'm not, you're having a fever."

"You are having a headache." She repeated again, it was getting to annoy me. I really think I was going to have one if she kept trying to make me decode what she was cryptically saying. "And you will be leaving early."

I stared at her, the cogs in my mind whirring and piecing together these new bits of information she was telling me what I was supposed to be feeling and doing. And I got it.

"So you mean…" A dawn of realisation was creeping up my face.

She waved me off and smirked, "I see you're having a splitting headache now."

I grinned at her but it slipped off my face in an instant. Because I realised that Effy knew what I was feeling towards Emily. This sudden shock of realisation got me all sober. I opened and closed my mouth, not knowing what to say, my eyes wide in horror. If Effy had seen through me, had others noticed too? What was I doing? I wasn't cheating on Angela right? Celebrating a friend's birthday is completely acceptable.

"It's okay you know." I swear Effy could read minds.

"Yeah? I said unsurely.

"Yeah, never did like her anyway." _I didn't say anything about liking or not liking anyone. How does she know that!_

"I'd better go now – you know, not much time left."

"You should." She smiled at me, "make it good."

We exited the toilet and I announced that I had a headache, scrunching up my face and pinching the bridge of my nose to play the part.

"Aww baby, I thought we were going to go back to mine today." Angela took me in her arms and tried her best to give a seductive smile. I shriveled inwardly, it's like all my sensors closed up like a mimosa at her touch. I wanted her arms off me; I want no part of them touching me. I'd no idea why I was thinking like that; I just want to get out of there fast.

"Sorry, really bad headache – should get home to rest. You stay with them." I told Angela.

"Need me tuh send yer bac' Naomi? Yer lookin' all pale an' shit." James eyed me with concern.

"It's alright James," I gave my best fake headache reassuring smile and hoped he bought it, "you all carry on."

They waved me out of the pub and I quickly unchained my bicycle, hopped on and pedaled as fast as my legs could. A torrent of questions surged through my mind. Why am I doing this? What is she's not home or out celebrating? If she was home, what would I say? Is it even normal to do this kind of spontaneous midnight birthday celebration thing? What if she thinks I'm overstepping the boundaries? What am I supposed to do when I see her? I don't even have a present!

I suddenly braked hard, my bicycle tires screeched to a painful halt as I realised I don't even have a cake or present. I checked my phone, it was already eleven, and no bakery will be open now! _Think! Where can you get a cake! _I turned my bicycle abruptly in another direction and pedaled to a twenty-four hour convenience store.

Pathetic, they didn't have any cakes so I bought a pre-packed muffin, banana-walnut flavoured, remembering she didn't like chocolate much, couple of cans of beers, a box of candles because you can't just buy one, and a lighter. This is all madness and terribly foreign. I still don't know why I'm doing this. I don't even do such things and I don't think I'm the romantic sort. I don't even do this to my girlfriend or ex-girlfriends. I must be crazy for this girl.

Deciding that I didn't have time to get home to change, I stuffed the items in my bag and cycled to Emily's house. It was past eleven-thirty. _Oh please let her be in!_

I arrived at the sidewalk at her house where I usually dropped her off. Her room light was on. Thank heavens! Now what do I do? Do I throw stones like some cheesy teenage movie at her windowpane and rescue her from pre-birthday boredom? Nah I might break the glass. I took out my phone and fired her a text.

**Hey, you're still up  
>Your room light's on. – Naomi<strong>

I stared at her 'last seen' status on my phone as the seconds ticked by. I felt my heart pounding like a bass drum. I've never felt so vulnerable. This is probably a huge, huge mistake. I should just quickly disappear before I – _OH MY GOD!_ Her status changed to 'online' then 'typing…"

**? – Emily**

I chuckled and looked up once again at her window. Suddenly her head popped out of the window looking down at me. There was a streetlight not far from me so I was sure she could see my face. Her features were dark and obscured because of the backlight from her room. I can't make out what she was thinking or the expression on her face. My stomach felt twisted into knots from anxiety. My mind hyperventilated.

**What are you doing here? – Emily**

Ahh bollocks, I can't ponder on the question too long. Emily will be able to see me thinking too hard!

**Can you get away for a while?  
>I need to see you – Naomi<strong>

I looked up at her. Her red hair was illuminated by the backlight; it was slightly tousled. I couldn't see her face but damn even her silhouette is breathtaking. I hoped she wouldn't think me creepy for trying to lure her away from her room near midnight.

**Give me a minute – Emily**

She disappeared from the window. I shuffled my feet on the pavement anxiously. How the fucking fuck am I suppose to explain myself?

The front door opened and I immediately stopped my antsy movements. Emily shut the door quietly and walked up to me. I checked her out; I'm always checking her out I admit. She was wearing a grey half-zipped hoodie and long baggy track bottoms. Everything she wore looked big on her. She looked like warm and sleep all huddled into one. She still looked great. One of the signs of really liking someone is that you still find them attractive even though they're in their most unglamourous pj's. I was totally aware of this fact.

"Is anything wrong?" Emily spoke first. Her voice was even more husky than normal, maybe it sounds different at night, that I wouldn't know, but I like it. Oh shit maybe I woke her up. Maybe I should wake her up more often.

"No – were you asleep? I was – Effy told me – it's your birthday – or going to be, so I thought – I'll drop by – was nearby to umm, celebrate with you, if you don't mind." I should have planned my fluent grand speech about how I'd love to celebrate her birthday with her and that I was sorry I woke her up but I'll tell her that she still looked beautiful. Instead, an avalanche of graceless words flowed out. Just where did my charm disappear to?

She ignored my whole debacle and flashed me a very surprised look, "You came all the way here to celebrate my birthday? That's very – nice. You didn't have to." She said softly but I could tell she meant it, that she appreciated me doing this. It was enough for me; I knew it was worth it going to all that trouble and anxiety just to look at her looking at me with this expression, like she couldn't believe I was here or that someone could do something like that for her. I would believe that. I'm surprised why a line of guys hasn't queued up to jump on her. Seems like I'm first in line.

"I know, but I want to." She gave a small smile and dipped her head, I was sure she was blushing. She was always blushing around me, not that I mind, I wouldn't want to get used to it because her reaction was making me feel special about myself. You know when someone reacts in the same way every time they're around you, you can't help think that you could be the cause of it. This is a good reaction. I must mean something more to her, I hope.

"Would you like to come inside?"

"Erm… I was thinking of bringing you somewhere else, but if you want – "

"Okay let's go then!" She started towards my bicycle but suddenly turned back, "Are we taking your bicycle or walking?"

"I suppose we could cycle there." It wasn't far but the truth is, I would like her arms around me, thank you very much.

I got on and she hopped naturally into the passenger seat encircling her arms around my waist. Ahh this feels good, I'd miss this, very much.

I took her to the shelter, our shelter, where it all first started, the moment I realised I liked her more than friends. I took her there because I didn't know where else. This was the only place I could ever bring her, for now. Plus I knew it would be quiet, so it would be just the two of us, by ourselves. I hoped I made the right choice.

"You're taking me to our dirty shelter?"

_Uh-oh maybe it was the wrong choice._ I turned to apologise, I should've realised that dirty shelters are not very appropriate to celebrate birthdays. Instead, I saw a cheeky smile on her face. Phew, maybe it wasn't too bad an idea after all. Wait, did she say _our_ shelter? _OUR_ shelter?

"Problem?" I said jokingly as I parked my bicycle in the middle of the shelter again.

"Umm yeah, are we going to sit on the ground again?"

_Right. I forgot about the details. How bloody romantic this is. No, no it's not supposed to be romantic!_ "Where else? Do you wanna sit on my lap?" I sat down Indian-style and patted my thighs, looking up at her challengingly. I don't know why I said that, I guess I just wanted her in my arms. _Oh please say no, I mean yes, I mean I don't know!_

She bit her lip and looked at me in a strange way, flicking her eyes from the ground to my lap, "That's very tempting but I think I'll pass." She sat down, not as prettily as she did with a skirt the other day, but still gracefully. I was a little disappointed but I don't even think it's right for me to even hope for that yeah. I scooted closer to her till our knees were touching.

"You played very well today you know." She looked at me, conveying every bit of truth, sincerity and admiration in her eyes, words and tone.

"Of course I did, I'm Naomi Campbell." I puffed out my chest in false pride and grinned at her.

She nudged me in the ribs, "Such a show off!"

"You know you lo – like me for that." I wasn't sure, I was testing waters.

She gave a tiny smile, the kind that was like a silent agreement, an acknowledgement, an affirmation, that she did. Like she was channeling all that in that smile with those eyes looking into mine. She does like me. She didn't deny that.

Like it's all too much to process, I changed the subject. "Soooo…" I dragged, "Why aren't you out partying?" I don't believe Katie will sit still at home when she's got a birthday to party away."

"You're right, Katie's staying over at Danny's," Emily absent-mindedly picked at the loose stones on the ground and tossed them as she spoke, "JJ can't stay out late and Thomas and Panda are out together, they'll celebrate with me tomorrow. I don't have a Danny or whatsoever."

"But you have me now, surely I'm more than a Danny or whatsoever." I nudged her out of her whatever soliloquy that was taking place in her head.

"You sure are."

There it is, that look again on her face. I can't be imagining it, can I? That look that makes me think that there is something more to both of us than what we appear to be. I'm not sure, but I feel it strongly. It's like the feeling that she likes me more than just friends yet she seems to be holding back. I confess, I am holding back because there is so much at stake, this friendship, my relationship with Angela, our relationship. But I need to know. I really need to know. How?

_Would you look at her  
>She looks at me<br>She's got me thinking about her constantly  
>But she don't know how I feel.<em>

"Close your eyes." It's time; it was five minutes to twelve.

She stared at me, "What?"

"Close your eyes," I repeated, "I've something for you."

She closed her eyes and I waved a hand in front of her to make sure she wasn't looking. It almost felt like the scene from Beauty and the Beast, except I didn't have flowers for her. She was still, waiting expectantly, with a serene smile on her lips. I could kiss her now and say that's the present. It was tempting. But I didn't dare to, I just can't. So I unzipped my bag and carefully unwrapped the plastic from the muffin, poked a candle right in the middle, clicked a flame with the lighter and lit the candle.

"You can open your eyes now."

She opened her eyes, she was already smiling when she heard all the sounds and movements. But her smile grew wider and the fact that it wasn't a cake didn't dampen it. She loves it. I love that I made her smile like that.

"I couldn't find a cake so I got this."

"I think it's lovely. It's the thought that counts. You're lovely." There it is again, that double flip in my stomach. My heart overflowed with joy. I'm lovely? That will need some getting used to.

_And she carries on without a doubt  
>I wonder if she's figured it out<br>I'm crazy for this girl._

I held up the muffin on my palm waiting for her to blow it out. But she didn't, she just stared at me with those chocolate brown eyes of hers. I could see the flame dancing in them. "Well?" I asked.

"Are you forgetting something?" She tilted her head at me and raised an eyebrow.

"No… this is the part where you blow the candle."

"This is the part where you sing a birthday song." She gave a small laugh.

"I don't sing!"

"Don't be silly, everyone can sing. What's a birthday without a birthday song?"

"I only sing in the shower. You can't make me!" I protested.

"Then I guess I'll have to be in the shower with you to hear you sing."

We both froze. I can't believe she just said that. No one will say that kind of words to someone without feeling a slightest bit of attraction to that person. Taking into consideration what was just said, I daresay the gauge of Emily did liking me was eight on a scale of ten.

"I shouldn't have said that. That came out wrong – very, very wrong. I shouldn't have said that indeed." Emily looked everywhere but me, muttering that to herself.

"Close your eyes and make a wish." I tried to put her out of her awkwardness. I of all people should know how it's like to shoot your mouth off about something inappropriate to someone you like. I think she likes me. I mean _likes_ me, you know. But what about that guy whom she also liked? I will fight with him over her, whoever the fuck he is. He won't stand in the way of us. Then I remembered that I already have a girlfriend. _So break up with her. _But, but… what? This is so fucking complicated!

Emily closed her eyes. The flame wavered slightly; it was the only light illuminating our faces. I took this silence to quietly admire her face. I was yet again, mesmerized. The orange glow from the flame seem to be absorbed in her face, bathing her face in a shade of delicate orange which made her flawless skin glow. It coated her long eyelashes, between them and up to their tips. I yearn for them to flutter against mine when we kissed. They would undo me. An eternity seemed to vanish when she opened her eyes and smiled at me. A bit of the wax slid down the candle and onto the bread but I couldn't care. Nothing mattered. She mattered.

She blew the flame out, the smoke residue from the burnt tip twisted about and faded into oblivion.

"Happy birthday Emily," I said softly.

"It is a happy one, the best one actually," she replied. I wanted to kiss her to make it even more complete but I didn't have the guts yet.

We took bites out of the muffin. What an actually exciting thought, swopping saliva with her. You'd understand if you ever came to a situation where you were going to drink out of the same bottle, or lick from the same ice cream with someone you really, really like.

We sat in silence finishing the muffin. I was glad I did this, to see her satisfied and smiling as she ate was worth it. And to know I was the one that caused it. Something was bursting out of me, something I can't contain. I do not know what it is except that it is grand, and that it is happiness. It's something I'm not very accustomed to feel but I feel it all the time when I'm with her. I want to tell her I like her.

But I asked this instead, "What do you usually get or do on your birthday?"

"Well," her eyes looked up, looking at nothing really, just thinking, "Mom will make us a really good pancake breakfast and we used to receive toys and stuff for presents but we grew out of it, so she now gives us a little money to buy stuff. Katie and I usually go out together to buy clothes."

"That's all? Not very interesting yeah?"

"I guess not, this, is by far the most interesting to date." I can't help but feel a little pleased with myself at that comment.

"What about your Dad?"

"He gives us a big hug and kiss and slips us a little bit more money," she chuckled. "I really like his hugs. My dad doesn't talk a whole lot or controls us like our mom but he expresses himself through actions like hugs and kisses and approving of my new hair and stuff."

I could see that she really loves her father, the way she talks about him and the way her eyes light up at the memories. I wished she could look at me in that way, that I could be the other person that can put a smile like this on her face. I wished I could match up to the hugs and kisses. _Hug her now! You can't kiss her but you can at least hug!_

Fuck it, it's now or never. I threw my arms open in abandonment. This is all of me, take it. I pushed all my fears aside. It's just a hug, it's no big deal. Something in me is just pressing me and compelling me to do it. If I didn't go for it, I'll miss this opportunity.

"Big birthday hug for the beautiful birthday girl?" There I was, arms open like a complete fool. I must be drunk, well I did drink alcohol about an hour ago. I tensed and I saw her hesitation and uncertainty in her body language. Fuck fuck fuck! I shouldn't –

But she launched herself into me, throwing her arms around my neck. I instantly wrapped my arms around her back, drawing her closer into me. Oh my god she felt so good in my arms. Her small body was warm and inviting; her hair was freshly shampooed and smelt wonderfully of something fruity. Her scent was intoxicating me. I was giddy and drowning in it. There was no other scent so innocent yet alluring, so fresh and reassuring, so complete and wonderfully and esoteric like Emily. To have her in my arms is indescribably mind blowing. I cannot let her go. I don't ever want to let her go.

Something intangible between us fell. Something felt suddenly very clear as we held onto each other.

We pulled back, enough for her to hold me an arms length. All her weight was on her knees that were in my lap.

I tried to read the expression on her face. I looked into her eyes. It was as though static was flashing out of them and hitting me on every pore of my skin. The synapses in my mind were sparkling; this was going to go down as a memory part of my being. I was tingling like how I never tingled before. My sensors were in overdrive and driving me crazy. I could still smell her scent from this proximity. My heart was thumping painfully in my chest. My hands that had slid down to her waist refused to be eradicated.

I moved my head infinitesimally forward. It was now or never, this could change everything but I've got to let her know.

_Would you look at her  
>She looks at me<br>She's got me thinking about her constantly  
>But she don't know how I feel.<em>

She would know now.

"Is it okay?" It was a full on ambiguous question. I didn't even know what I was asking, about the hug or what I'm going to do next.

She gave a very tiny nod. There were so many signs that told me she liked me. If all these signs weren't real, nothing is anymore. Her eyes flicked imperceptibly to my lips and back to my eyes. And suddenly I became very aware of what I am going to do. It was dead quiet and the only things I heard were my poor palpitating heart and our silent breathing.

One thing's for sure. We both agreed on this.

_Right now  
>Face to face<br>All my fears  
>Pushed aside<em>

I closed the gap between our faces. The last thing I saw before my eyes fluttered shut was her tongue darting out to wet her lips.


	8. Seven Wonders

I'd like to thank the 21 lovely people **DNNHK, M, Alice, DontBeIgnorant23, sexpistols, fakevegan, GilmoreRos, fookyeahskins, CrystalKR1, pictishx, dourememberthat, iwetta, spikie142003, OliveYew517, shrub-skinz, gerlierana, Anonymous, Valsy, inglestix, mUfF MuNcHeR, OTH13** for leaving one especially those leaving long ones. I seriously doubt I'll hit that number of reviews again so, thank you. I wanna hit a hundred, but then again I can only hope yeah?

I'm surprised a few of you don't expect them to kiss yet. I should have left it for chapter forty or something. ;)

And I like how some of you are guessing what's gonna happen. Fortunately, they're not really what I had in mind. So, phew. But I'd still like to hear your predictions.

Thanks to **dourememberthat** for pming me and getting me to hurry up.

I'm shitting myself over this chapter, don't know how well it'll be received given the length and scenes about to happen. I've read a couple of great fics and I'm kind of jealous of the writing style and second guessing mine.

And sorry if I hadn't nailed James' (aka Cook) accent, it's way outta my capabilities.

Let's turn the temperature up just a couple of degrees yeah?

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eight – Seven Wonders<strong>

**Emily**

_Big trouble, losing control. Primary resistance a critical low. On the double gotta get a hold. Point of no return one second to go._

As I saw Naomi gently close her eyes and inched her head closer, my brain automatically shut down.

_No response on any level, red alert this vessel's under siege. Total overload. All system's down. They've got control, there's no way out. We are surrounded. Give in. Give in. And relish every minute of it._

Relish every minute of it. My brain had stopped thinking but every fiber of me was awakened and alert. I was bursting with feeling every feeling and touch from Naomi; her warm hands on my waist, my hands around her neck; my lap overlaping hers; the shimmering air between us; the impending feel of her lips against mine.

I had waited for this moment for a very, very long time. I think the small want of it started when I had the first tutoring lesson with her and when we were in the shelter taking cover from the rain. Then it grew to a bigger want when I almost hit her lips as she snuck up behind me and intensified when she give me the smallest of kisses at the hallway.

Today she turned up before midnight, clutching a squashed muffin and tried to celebrate my birthday after knowing about it. I wanted to kiss her when she held the muffin with the lit candle and refused to sing me a birthday song. I wanted to kiss her when we ate the muffin together and how she kept looking at me. Now the want of kissing her is roaring in my lungs as she hugged me and asked if it was okay. Was what okay? I had no idea what she was referring to but I nodded. Her eyes flicked to my lips and I knew what was going to happen. Unless I stopped it.

But why would I? I have been waiting for this for months or maybe even years of suppressed want. But a little part of me is just screaming with uncertainty. What is Naomi really feeling? It's quite obvious she does like me a bit, maybe a whole lot, but what about her girlfriend or what's going to happen between us.

I braced myself for this moment. You know the kind of awareness your body goes into when you've been waiting your whole life for this thing to happen and now it's going to happen. I was determined to feel everything. Everything that I wanted to feel, that I thought I would feel, that I know I would feel.

I licked my lips and slammed my eyes shut. Naomi's lips met mine gently. My mind exploded at the contact and how soft they felt. Then she pressed her lips a little firmer but not in the intrusive way. If my mind was trying to collect the exploded brain fragments in it's arms to piece them together, the pieces probably fell out of its arms in a frenzy again. My mind was a wreck and my heart was pumping too much blood into my head. I heard her take a deep breath as she kissed me.

And everything I knew I would feel came. A tingling sensation surged through my body right up to my fingertips and down to my feet. A certain voltage of electricity was coursing through my veins and erupting in little bursts of static as I felt her hands grip me a little tighter at the waist. I could feel her lips through my closed eyes; I could see them with the skin of my lips. I felt the tip of her nose gently graze against mine as she pulled away. I felt everything that I wanted to feel. I liked it; I wanted more. I slowly opened my eyes.

"Happy birthday Emily." Naomi said softly, looking with me through her luscious eyelashes.

It was just a chaste kiss with no questions or promises. Just a simple birthday kiss but the subtext says that she liked me but that was all she could manage for now. It was subtle, unsaid, half-finished.

"Thank you." I managed to croak out a whisper. I can't trust any form of speech right now. I just kissed Naomi Campbell. You don't know how hard it is to wrap that around my head.

Aware that my arms were still around her neck, I slowly slid them away noting how she stiffened a little and also released her grip on my waist. We increased the distance between us and I removed myself unwillingly from her lap.

She was quietly looking at me. I was hiding behind my hair trying not to blush. I don't know why I was blushing but I do that a lot especially when she's looking at me like that. There were so many questions I was dying to ask, questions that I think her eyes were asking as she looked at me. I don't know how to or dare to and I know she felt the same. But we know about_ this_ between us.

I touched my lips with my fingers at the spot she kissed and I thought about it. It was so chaste, yet so beautiful, so much more than anything that I had felt or had in the world – and so life changing.

"You know, this is my first – I'd never – you know…" I said, when I finally found my steady voice and shyly took a peek at her.

"Your first with a girl." She stated quietly.

I nodded my head then shook my head, "No, I meant my first – with anyone."

"Oh." Naomi's mouth had formed into a small o; her eyes were a little stunned, "Not even with a boy?"

I shook my head again, this time feeling very embarrassed. I had a huge lack of experience and oh shit, what if that kiss just now sucked for her. I mean, I'm inexperienced and all right.

"Not even those six grade sloppy kisses with immature boys?" She added.

I hid my face between my knees, "No!" I wanted to dig a hole right here, right now and bury myself from this embarrassment. I heard Naomi chuckling lightly beside me and I wanted to – kiss her to make her shut up! I felt her scoot closer to me and tug my arm.

"Emily," she called my name. I secretly love it when she says my name; it's like her attention is all on me when she says it. I lifted and tilted my head to the side as a response and found her smiling back at me, not without a cheeky glint in her eye, "In that case, I'm very honored to be the first."

_And I want you to be my second and third and fourth and forevermore._ But I couldn't say that out.

Before I knew what was happening to me, Naomi leaned forward and quickly pressed her lips to mine again and pulled back. I got a terrible jolt from that; the feeling of her lips on mine again. I did not expect that, ever, not even in the remotest future. Who was I kidding, I wanted it but I didn't think it'd be that soon. It was too quick, too fast.

"And I'm your second too." She winked at me and turned to rummage her bag.

I could feel my whole body and face heating up and my heart frantically thumping away. Don't you see that these kisses mean a lot to me? Just what are you doing to me Naomi? What is this between us? Do you even like me? Or are you just toying with me? Because you're just leading me on and confusing the fuck out of me.

"Beer to celebrate?" She held out a can in front of me.

"Thanks." I cracked it open and took a few huge gulps. I needed some liquid courage. I think I might need it to ask questions that I wouldn't ever dare to ask.

"Woah easy there little tiger." She placed her palm on my back and soothed me as I started to splutter when the gas from the beer suddenly surged up my throat. Her touch didn't help. In fact, it seemed to ignite my body. Heat generated from the part where she has her palm on transmitted itself through my flesh, through my bones, to my organs and settled down at the hollow base of my stomach. She was so close to me now but her hand was no longer rubbing circles on my back, it was playing with my hair, all a little too lovingly. I should just jump on her, snog her till she sees stars, ask her the multitude of questions in my mind and blame it on the alcohol.

I didn't, because I was too scared to make any kind of move. I was scared whatever I did next would be a mistake. After all, after Naomi kissed me, she kind of meant it as a birthday kiss. Maybe that was just it, that I was just over thinking things, that Naomi was just a touchy kind of person that kisses random girls and it didn't mean a thing to her. My heart just sank at the last thought of being a random to her. If this was all true, I was setting myself up for a huge and painful fall, and it's going to hurt like hell.

"Hey anything wrong? You seem a little quiet." Naomi asked.

Could she be that sensitive to my reactions? I didn't think there was supposed to such a connection or telepathy between people in the world but Naomi's proving me wrong. It's like she feels what I'm thinking or reading well into my body language. Well she got this right but she missed all the signs that point to the part that I do really like her a whole fucking lot.

I shook my head, "No. I'm just thinking about today. This. You being here and all. It's nice." _Fuck it, just go for it and ask the questions. You need to know this. _"Naomi, I – "

Suddenly my phone rang, cutting through the still air of the night and effectively cutting off my unfinished sentence. I quickly dug it out from my pocket and glared at the screen that was just too bright for my eyes that had adjusted to the dark. My mom was calling. What does she want now for fuck sake.

"Sorry," I muttered to Naomi and answered it. "Hi mom. I'm out with… my friend." I glanced at Naomi who had taken to silently sipping her beer and looking out into nothing. "No it's a girl,"I rolled my eyes at Naomi as she smirked at me. "Yes alright I'll be back soon," I huffed and hung up the call.

"Annoying, overprotective parents that are afraid you'll be kidnapped by some bloke?" She teased me.

"Afraid so. Though they've no idea you're probably more dangerous than a bloke," I joked.

"What's that supposed to mean!" She poked me on my side again and I squirmed away from her. _It means no bloke can get in my pants, only you can. _Shit shit shit that wasn't supposed to come from my head. Though the thought of Naomi getting into my pants sent an unconscious delicious shiver down my spine. I've done it; I've mentally and emotionally crossed the line. I think I want Naomi.

"Come on let's get you back soon, you're all shivery and cold now." Naomi gulped on her beer and I followed suit.

I got back onto her passenger seat and wrapped my arms around her as she pedaled me home, talking and slowly pedaling this time like it was intentional, like she didn't want to bring me back too fast. I relished that. I relished every minute I was with her, then and now.

Whatever I was going to ask just then could wait. For a bit.

* * *

><p>I was lazing on my bed at night, not think about anything much. Well just thinking a little, about certain things, when my phone buzzed, indicating a text. I turned over to my side and clutched my phone, opening the text excitedly when I saw it was from Naomi. My heart always plays hopscotch in my chest when I see a text from Naomi. It's just a natural reaction all the time.<p>

**Hey  
>Are you free tomorrow night?<br>We're having a get together at Effy's  
>I'd like you to come – Naomi<strong>

I smiled brightly into my phone like a lunatic. She wants me to come. She's asking me to come and not asking me if I'd like to come. I was about to reply when I noticed she was typing again.

**You can bring your gang here too – Naomi**

I exhaled a small laugh from my nose. It seems as though Naomi realised she was too forward in asking me to come and tried to cover it up by inviting my friends too.

**Yes I'm free  
>I'll come :)<br>With my friends too – Emily**

**Great! See you then :D – Naomi**

I wanted to ask her something else too.

**Is Angela going to be there too? – Emily**

Oh please, I hope she wouldn't!

**Nope  
>Friends only<br>;) – Naomi**

I breathed a sign of relief but can't help feeling a little deflated at that 'friends' word she used on me. Yeah I know there isn't anything between us and I shouldn't be feeling sad at that at all. It's not rational to even feel that way. But I know, I know there's something more between us even though we are scared or unwilling to approach it. I can feel it when she looks at me or touches me. There's this vibe I get from her, like she's dancing tantalizingly close to me and afraid to touch, and I'm doing the same right back.

**You can bring Katie if you want – Naomi**

I chuckled at the thought of Katie agreeing to go.

**I'll ask her  
>See you :) – Emily<strong>

.

.

I can't believe it, Katie decided to come. At first she was like screaming 'No' when I said Naomi invited her but changed her mind when she realised Cook and Freddie would be there. Then she asked me if they were seeing anyone. I said I didn't know but I don't think they are but I thought she had Danny. She replied me with the why-settle-for-one-when-there's-a-whole-sea-of-them speech. I had no comeback to that; she was the expert in that area, not me.

"We can have one each for ourselves yeah." She said while applying her, I'm assuming here, finishing touches to her makeup, "I'll take Cook; he looks fit as fuck. You can have Freddie, I think he likes you."

I rolled my eyes thinking how the fuck she can come to such a conclusion in her head. I'm not interested in any guy. Only one person has got all my attention. _Only one girl._ "Whatever, can you hurry up? It's a get together not a matchmaking session for fuck sake!" I huffed in annoyance.

I was dressed ages ago in a simple skirt and sleeveless top that I would be wearing a jacket over when we walked there. I had just minimal makeup on, a bit of eyeliner and blusher. I'm never the one overdoing the makeup. Katie was wearing a tight dress, nothing new here, a huge necklace, earrings and bangles for accessories. I bet she's going to wear her stilettos. Oh god why did I ask her, I could've just lied and said she didn't want to come.

"Alright keep your vagina on, I'm almost done." Katie put down her brush, sprayed a few pumps of perfume on her skin and proceeded out of the room.

.

.

We met up with JJ, Panda and Thomas along the way and walked up to Effy's house. I was suddenly feeling nervous. All of us had never hung out together; that one time during the basketball match was different. I was coming to school with Katie when I met the JJ and the rest. We all then met Cook along the way and he invited us to all sit together. Cook's a really nice guy once I got to know him. He stopped trying to hit on me and actually asked me more about myself and at the same time praising his best friend Naomi. He kept going on about how great a friend she was to him. Not that I minded, I'd love to hear anything about Naomi. But JJ, Panda and Thomas never really talked to Cook's friends. I'm afraid it'll just be awkward silences and feeble attempts of making conversation. I'm sure anyone will know how that feels at one point in their life.

"Hurry up I'm feeling fucking cold already." Katie marched up to the front door, her heels resounding on the pavement and pressed the bell.

"Yeah who asked you to only bring a scarf." I mumbled to myself and heard JJ chucking lightly beside me.

The door opened after a short wait and Effy appeared. She looked, her eyes flitting over the bunch of us and settling on Katie who was right in front, and gave her a once over from head to toe. No 'hello' or 'welcome in' but a tiny smirk had materialized on her lips. All this happened in like three seconds.

Someone else behind Effy came into my view, "Oh hey! Emily! You're here!"

That was Naomi, her voice all bright and cheery, emitting a warmth that settled on my bones despite the chilly night. Every part of me celebrated at the sight of Naomi. I know I've seen her only yesterday when I helped her out for another session of math tutoring but it just feels – long, you know, like I miss not being able to see her. It's bad.

"Are you letting us in or what, it's fucking cold out here?" Katie interrupted.

"Eff, why the fuck aren't you letting them in? It's cold outside. Let me prepare a drink for you Em." Naomi disappeared and I swear Effy's smirk elongated.

"Thanks for inviting us." I said to her as I kicked off my shoes and made my way in after Katie. I heard the rest behind me mumbling their greetings and thanks.

"Keep close to me Emily, don't let the lezza get her hands on you."

"Can you just shut the fuck up!" I whispered harshly.

I walked in and saw Cook and Freddie sprawled out on the rugs on the floor, apparently talking and drinking something that looks like alcohol.

"Emily!" Cook shouted, "Yer made it! An' fock me Katiekins yer lookin' pretty hot. Can I get me sum twin action today? OW!"

Two people hit Cook at the same time. Naomi smacked him on the head with her unoccupied hand that was not pouring drinks and Freddie swatted Cook's stomach with his backhand. I smirked silently and delighted at how Naomi's always being this protective over me when Cook starts mentioning about getting me into a threesome. Maybe she's just protecting me as a friend, or maybe she just wants me all for herself. I'd like the latter more. Katie looked like she was torn between disgust and amusement.

"Oh erm, my friends." I introduced them.

"Jonah Jeremiah Jones, but you can call me JJ." JJ said and gave a wave.

"I'm Pandora but you can call me Panda." She bounced on her feet and waved frantically.

"Hi I'm Thomas, very nice to meet you all." Thomas smiled pleasantly at them.

I started to remove my jacket as it was getting warm and draped it over the arm of the sofa and I saw Naomi looking, no – staring at me mid-pour, her mouth slightly agape. Wait am I sure she's looking at me? I slowly turned my head to look behind me and there was no one. When I turned back, Naomi was looking a little flustered and floundering with the glasses and bottles on the table. Was Naomi just staring at me? I find that really hard to comprehend. I wasn't exactly dressed up. I think my clothes might have looked ugly if I managed to get Katie's hint along the way. _Oh shit she's coming to me!_

"Drink?" Naomi held out the glass, "I promise you it's a little strong, fuck knows what James threw in there."

"Thanks." I took the glass from her and of course our fingers brushed, what do you expect? My fingers volunteered to brush against hers. I can't stop them. They already have a mind of their own now.

"You look nice today." She looked at me and bit her lip. Oh god she always looks sexy with that lip bite, and to think those lips were on mine before. Twice.

"You're kidding, it's nothing. Not like Katie anyway. You're looking pretty good yourself."

She snorted a laugh, "No I don't, my hair's in a mess and I'm wearing some old stuff. This is a get together anyway, not some matchmaking session." She glanced around the room and her eyes settled on Katie talking animatedly to Cook.

Naomi's hair was indeed in a disheveled mess, a beautiful mess. Her hair seemed to fall in a messy conformity on her shoulders, still looking so soft and resplendent. She was in a huge, oversized white t-shirt and a short flowy skirt. I hardly ever see Naomi in a skirt because she's always in her basketball shorts or jeans but damn her legs look even better in a skirt, like they can go on for miles. Her calves were well toned and her knees were constellated with faded scars. She looked pretty, no – beautiful in a skirt. She was imperfectly perfect to me.

"That's what I told her too, you know Katie, always to the nines." I chuckled. "Seem like they're all getting along very well together."

Surprisingly they were. Freddie was talking to JJ and Effy was actually listening to Panda talk and gesture in the only way that made Panda unique. It was all rather fucking awesome.

"Should we join them?" Naomi tilted her head and asked.

I seriously didn't want to. I wanted Naomi all to myself, to hang out just with her, but this is after all a gathering. "Okay," I simply said.

Naomi took my hand, I almost dropped the glass I was holding in my other, and led me back to the group. I had come to notice that our hands fitted perfectly together. I think I'm being irrationally bias here but all I can think of is how nicely mine fits into hers. We didn't lace our fingers or anything but hers just encased mine, perfectly; I love how slim and strong her fingers feel. And I love how naturally and comfortable she is when it comes to holding my hand. I could hold her hand forever.

"Everyone sit in a circle!" Cook called out, "Yeh you too Katiekins." I hid a smile as Naomi sniggered as Katie pouted and attempted to gracefully sit on the floor in that tight skirt of hers.

"Come sit with me Emily!" Katie gestured to me. I threw her a frown and shook my head. This must be one of her attempts to "shield" me from Naomi.

"Emily come sit next tuh ol' Cookie here. Gotta spread an' mix yer al' about." He patted the floor to his right while Katiie was flanked to his left.

I had no choice but to move, upset that I couldn't be within reaching distance of Naomi. Imagine, if we sat around in a tight circle, there would be so many opportunities to accidentally touch her. Sigh. Katie looked annoyed that Cook got me to sit next to him too; obviously she thought she could have him all to herself. Naomi looked grouchy and was shooting daggers to an oblivious Cook.

So this is how the circle goes. Freddie was to my right, then JJ, Naomi, Thomas, Panda, Effy, Katie and ending with Cook to my left.

Cook plonked down a huge bottle of vodka, shot glasses and a stack of cards. Uh oh, seems like everything to do with Cook involves alcohol and gambling.

"Soooo, we gonna play a game called Indian Poker tuh loosen everyone of yer. Easy peasy." He shuffled the cards and dealt a card faced down for each of us. "We put tuh our card on our foreheads like ah fockin' Indian feather," he demonstrated, "So I can't see me own card 'ere but I can see yers. Ace is tuh lowest number, king's the highest. The one wif tuh lowest number drinks a shot. We can haf only one chance tuh change our card if we fink it's too low."

"And how do we _think_ it's too low if we can't see our card?" Katie asked incredulously.

"Why Katiekins, then yer haf tuh decide from wot we tell yer." He grinned, "We play a round fer warm up. Put yer cards on yer head."

Everyone scrambled to hold our cards ridiculously on our head.

"Oooh!" Panda spluttered excitedly as she saw our cards, "Emsy you've got – "

"Panda!" Naomi cut in loudly, "You're not supposed to reveal the cards of others."

I did a quick glance around. Katie had seven of spades; Effy had seven of diamonds; Panda had queen of hearts, totally safe; Thomas had nine of hearts; Naomi had eight of spades, not in any danger; JJ had ten of diamonds and Freddie had six of clubs. I turned to Cook who was grinning. He had the ace of spades. He has the lowest card, means he loses!

"Alwite, now change yer cards if yer wan' tuh. I'm changin' mine." He placed the card face down back on the floor, grabbed another card from the deck and placed it on his head. _How did he know his card was the lowest! _His second card was four of hearts, still smaller than Freddie's six of clubs. It means he still loses.

"Aw Emily, yer sure yer don' wanna change yuh card?" Cook asked.

_Oh I forgot to worry about mine!_ "Really?" I gulped, unsure. Katie frowned at me but didn't say a word. I looked at Naomi who was biting her lip and staring at the card on my head.

"Emily!" Panda squealed and Naomi shushed her. I was starting to panic, oh for fuck sake, it's just a game! Why am I taking it so seriously?

"Yeah you should – erm – change." Naomi said, I noticed a twinkle in her eye.

"Alright." I put my card down, reached for the deck and placed another one on my head.

"Much better little red!" Cook exclaimed and Naomi nodded. Effy displayed the tiniest of smirks; Panda turned red from trying not to blabber anything.

"Anymore changes?" Cook asked around.

Effy changed her card and got a jack of hearts. That was about it.

"Alwite, reveal yer cards!"

All of us placed our cards upwards. Oh fuck I had three of diamonds! Lower than Cook's four of hearts!

Cook reached over and opened both his old card and mine. Double fuck, I actually had a king of spades! What the fuck! Why did they make me change my card!

Cook groaned loudly, "Fockin' hell, I almos' had tuh lowes' card!"

"Why!" I stared at Naomi, who was starting to laugh at my confused face.

"Emily, this is a game of bluff. All of us are trying to sabotage each other with luck to get the lowest card. Losers drink up. That's what we're aiming for anyway, to get fucked with alcohol." Naomi explained to me while smiling mischievously.

I was torn between wanting to be mad and smiling. I was a slow turtle. I couldn't be mad, not over this silly game and especially not when Naomi was adorably laughing with the rest.

"Alright then, hand it over!" I gestured for the shot.

Cook poured me a full shot glass, right up to the brim. I brought it carefully to my mouth and downed it in one go to cheers and hoots, "You'll pay for this Campbell!"

"What!" She laughed loudly. _Oh her delicious uninhibited laughter. _"I'm not the only guilty one here!"

We played a good many rounds and everyone steadily become drunk. Cook was quite dismayed at his inability to draw a low card while JJ had the worst luck, drawing or changing to a low card. At first he took a couple of shots but he couldn't hold much alcohol so Naomi stepped in and took his subsequent losses on top of hers. I thought it was really nice of her to drink on JJ's behalf but I realise all of them are actually quite determined to get fucked tonight.

We got bored once the fun of the game had worn off. Cook grabbed a few packs of beers from the kitchen and we all sat around and talked. Even Katie seemed to loosen up and was enjoying herself.

Somehow Naomi had made her way to sit beside me. I'm glad she was the one that made the move, that she wanted to sit beside me and I secretly hoped that she couldn't resist being away from me. I could see she was a little drunk, having had at least five shots and drinking a beer now. She had a cute lopsided smile on as she squinted and talked to me, laughing loudly at jokes Cook was making and always accidentally giving me little touches on my shoulder and knee. I must be getting a little buzzed myself because every time some part of our skin came into contact, a numb tingle spread from the point of contact through my body.

All sorts of thoughts started to run amok in my head, especially reminiscing how Naomi's lips felt on mine as I stared at hers and how it would be perfect if she had her lips on mine now. Or how her hair would feel in my hands, or how the skin on her cheek would feel if I cupped her face. And how her eyes that looked so beautiful and clear in the morning sun were slightly dilated as they're looking back at me and I'm thinking that if we kissed again, the freckles in our eyes would be perfectly aligned.

I looked away bashfully, realising I was staring at her again and she was staring back at me. I could never hold such moments with her; I'd always be the first to look away, like all her beauty was too much to bear and I'll combust if I didn't. _It's all the alcohol now; I'm feeling like this because of the alcohol._

"Oooh guys!" Panda suddenly squealed, "Do you want to play a game? I have an awesome game. It's pretty fun if some of you participate! You know, the more the merrier!"

"Wot is dis game abou' Pandapops?" Cook asked.

"It's called seven wonders of the world. Nothing to do with the actual seven wonders. It's something like twister, only there's no paper and we don't put our hands on the floor but we put our hands on each other instead – not really on each other but on the parts they're told to and they gotta leave it there until the seven actions are up." Panda explained in a burst of words. I wondered if anyone understood that. I didn't.

"Sounds fockin' fun, whad'ya say guys?" Everyone nodded or shrugged a yes. Apparently they seemed to get the game. Knowing Panda, this should be a pretty wild one.

"Whizzer! I'll need four volunteers!"

"Just four? What are the rest supposed to do?" Naomi asked.

"The non-volunteers actually have the most fun, that's what I think, but you can volunteer to play!"

"Okay fuck it, I'll volunteer!" Naomi announced.

"You're sure?" I asked.

"Yeah why not, someone's gotta do it." She smiled back at me. One of the things I love about Naomi is how enthusiastic she can be.

"I'll do it." JJ also volunteered and everyone cheered.

"Cookie you wanna play?" Panda asked.

He winked at her, "Naw… like yuh said, non-volunteers haf de most fun. Katiekins yer, wanna join ol' Naomi up there?"

"No! I don't wanna be – I mean I – I'm good, someone else can do it." I glared at her, fully aware that she didn't want to be near Naomi in any way.

"I'll do it then." I spoke up and Katie frowned at me.

"Yeah me too." Freddie also volunteered.

"Whizzer!" Panda shouted, "You four get to the front!"

We all stumbled up in front of them and stood near JJ. I assumed we're going to partner the opposite sex, that's how most games go.

"No Emzy you're with Naomi and JJ with Freddie."

"What? Why?"

"Can't let the girls get taken advantage of the guys right? Naomi's your partner."

I slowly shifted myself to Naomi, standing a little apart from her and wishing I hadn't volunteered in the spur of the moment. Than I remembered Panda's words – _something like twister – hands on each other_ and I mentally passed out. It was a torture not being allowed to touch Naomi in the ways I wanted to, like holding her hand and stuff but I think it's even more torturous if I'm _made_ to, maybe hold her hand or have my hands all over her in front of the perfect view of half dozen other pairs of eyes and pretend like I didn't care for it. And worse, there's alcohol in all our veins. I don't know how much self-control I have.

I stole a peek at Naomi and found her biting her lip and looking nervous. Her hands were folded behind her back like she was trying to keep them to herself as long as possible. She looked at me and gave a bewildered shrug and I returned with a nervous smile. Oh god this is going to feel so awkward!

Panda started the game, "Name yourselves Person A and Person B."

Naomi and JJ were Person A; Freddie and I were Person B.

"So when I say, Person A's right foot on Person B's right foot, you've to put it there and leave it – no no! Just an example! That's way to easy." _Uh-oh I don't like the sound of that._

It feels very strange to be standing in front of them in a cramped living room playing twister. It all seemed too innocent till now. I was getting jittery. The alcohol was starting to take effect.

"Okay first action! Person A's left hand on Person B's right breast."

WHAT? Every part of me froze and my eyes shot open and found Naomi's ones staring at me in a similar way. Apparently no one thought Panda meant putting hands on ANY body part. Now I see why Panda meant that the girls would be taken advantaged of if we were paired with the boys. I don't think I'm comfortable with JJ holding my tit even though we have been friends for a long time, an even bigger no with Freddie. I'd rather Naomi hold it; I'd pick her out of everyone. I would be very, _very_ glad if Naomi holds it.

"Oh yeah Pandapops I'm gonna haf a lot of fun 'ere." Cook hooted and rubbed his hands gleefully. Katie was pursing her lips and keeping really quiet; Effy was wearing that dangerous smirk of hers and that certainly calls for some form of trepidation to begin.

JJ had already placed his hand on Freddie. Nothing too awkward about that and it shouldn't be between Naomi and I right? Right? Yeah I was trying to convince myself that.

Naomi's left hand inched forward slowly and almost shakily. I instinctively held my breath as I saw her fingers flex a little as the base of her palm gently and achingly hovered under the cup of my breast, just barely grazing the material of my top. Induced by the alcohol and awareness of this oncoming action, every nerve in my body suddenly became very sensitive to Naomi's touch. She barely even touched me but I was feeling a whole lot. Her eyes were settling themselves everywhere except my face. I felt heat creeping up my cheeks.

"Oi Naomi, hand on her tit not above!" Cook yelled, making both of us jump. Naomi glared at him.

"I'm sorry." Naomi whispered as her palm made full contact with my breast, still gentle but the pressure had certainly increased by several Pascals. Blood rushed from my heart like an arrow into my head. I had to exert every ounce of self-control to prevent my body from arching at the contact and closing my eyes. _Oh. My. God._ Naomi is holding my breast. This is like some fantasy come true. My right breast felt like it was on fire. Heat from her palm had permeated through my thin top, through the padding of my bra and spread itself fervently on the skin. A very imperceptible warmth had fallen down to the base of my stomach, and past. I took very slow breaths trying to calm my frantic heart and tried to keep a very nonchalant face. I think I'm failing miserably at that because seriously, you can't really expect me to act like Naomi palming my tit is a natural thing. I couldn't look Naomi in the eye, or anyone else in fact.

I gave a very insignificant shake of my head as a response. My body was numb. All my sensors had decided to focus on the only contact on me.

Six more actions.

"Katie your turn." Panda said.

Katie pondered a bit, staring intently at Naomi and I, "B's left hand on A's left foot."

"BORING." Cook yelled and Katie shrugged.

Thankfully I knew Katie isn't going to give me too much trouble. I can't imagine what's going on in her mind, seeing Naomi's hand on my breast.

I bent down and placed my left hand on top of Naomi's left foot. It was an awkward position as we were both half stooping.

"Should we just sit on the floor? It may be easier." I asked Naomi.

"Yeah good idea." And we slowly sat down, her hand and mine still on each other. I gathered my skirt and pushed them between my thighs trying to look modest. I wished I had worn jeans instead or a pair of shorts underneath! Naomi looked like she was wearing shorts as she wasn't as self conscious as I am.

"Muh turn, let's see. A's right knee on B's left heel."

Okay so this wasn't too bad coming from Cook. Naomi shifted her knee closer to me and I gingerly placed my heel on hers. Naomi was blatantly staring and biting her lip at my foot on her knee. Her eyes were slowing travelling from my foot up to my calf and dragging her gaze up my thigh, to her hand on my breast and up to my eyes. I gulped inaudibly as I saw that her eyes were a shade darker and she was breathing slowly but deeply. Heat was inconspicuously building up in my knickers and I was conscious of that fact. I hadn't imagined being turned on by something like that, by Naomi looking at me like that. It was seriously turning me on.

Suddenly Effy's voice floated in and broke me out of my thoughts, "B's lips on – "

"No fucking lips on any fucking lips!" Naomi cut in and practically shrieked. "Effy I swear I will kill – "

"That wasn't my intention," Effy smirked at both of us and cocked an eyebrow, "B's lips on A's neck."

"Good one Eff!" Cook laughed loudly.

I wished for the hundredth time that I hadn't volunteered. I am going to put my lips to Naomi's neck. _Holy fucking shit. _My mouth went dry. My head spun. My heart screamed for mercy. I tilted my head and hesitantly brushed my lips on the left side of Naomi's neck, just over the bend of her shoulder. My body gave an involuntary shudder when my nose caught a whiff of her scent on her skin. I saw Naomi gulping, her larynx moving almost frantically. I felt her grip my breast harder and a new wave of heat rushed onto my knickers. Oh fuck, I'm getting very wet.

"Don't you think this is getting out of hand?" Katie suddenly spoke up.

"Why wud it be Katiekins? Look at Freds and Jay, they're alwrite innit?"

From out of the corner of my eye, I saw JJ and Freddie laughing and Freddie swatted JJ's head. They were having fun. No tension or awkwardness or anything. The tension here on the other hand was stretched and reaching it's tearing point. I think I might jump on Naomi if we were alone. I was breathing a little heavily out of my nose; my breath coming out in short bursts. Naomi was completely still but the pressure of her hand hadn't relinquished. I couldn't see her eyes; I don't know what she's thinking right now.

"Are you alright?" I breathed the words out quietly to her ear.

My lips on her skin felt her swallow. "Yeah," she said, her voice barely a whisper.

I wasn't. My head was filled with alcohol. I had the girl in my dreams squeezing my breast and I had my lips on her throat. The only thing I can smell right now was all Naomi. My vision was all clouded with Naomi and her soft hair. I was fucking wet and never been so turned on in my life. And they've got three more actions to go.

"A's right wrist on B's right ear." Thomas' voice cut through my thoughts again.

"Nice one Thommo!"

We were already in a really awkward position and the only way for Naomi to reach over to my ear was if I changed the position of my lips to the right side of her neck.

I could have just removed my lips and place it on the other side of her neck but I didn't, I guess I was going to push it since I'm already in this situation. I was living a touchable dream and I'm going to be sure I'd better enjoy it while it lasts.

I dragged my lips, slowly, leisurely, deliberately, heavily across the skin on her throat from her left to her right neck. She took a sharp and loud intake of breath; her chest heaved in steady rhythms. I got the reaction I hoped for. I hoped she was as turned on as I am, that I wasn't just the only one feeling all this, that we both were feeling it together and we were pushing it as daringly and as discretely as we are pretending to. She gripped my breast even harder and I swear my underwear was already saturated with my juices.

"I hope you fuckers are enjoying this." Naomi said sarcastically.

"Aww Naomikins, Emily got yer knickers inna twist already? Freds! Gay Jay! Yer lookin' pretty hawt together too." Cook teased us and Freddie flashed him a finger with his available right hand.

"Two more to go! Let's see what's available." Panda looked at us and pondered. I sure didn't like that cheekiness in her eyes. "B's right heel on… A's back!"

Oh. God. Trust Panda to come up with the most awkward of poses. I'm almost positively sure she was doing it thinking it's for my good as I saw her wink at me.

Still keeping my lips on Naomi's lips, making sure her wrist was still on my ear and gripping her foot with my left hand, I eased out my right leg between us and hooked it around her body and placed my heel on her back. I was putting my weight on my ass while keeping my heel on Naomi's back. It suddenly occurred to me that I'm spreading my legs open and Naomi is just between them. It was a very awkward position but nonetheless still aphrodisiac. A throbbing sensation started right between my thighs. All I desire now is just to get myself off. I'm sure it would take only mere seconds.

They were all laughing at our awkward state, even Freddie and JJ. On the other hand, Naomi and I were rather tensed; we seemed to be in our own world of awkwardness now.

"Oh fuck." I heard Naomi whisper as she shifted her body subtly before me. I heard her breathe loudly through her lips. The alcohol was no longer pressing against my nerves; in fact, I think I'm pretty much sober. Every slight movement, sound, heartbeat or breath was crystal clear.

"Last action," Cook declared. I hoped he wouldn't make it too hard. I don't think I can handle something shocking. "Person A's left foot on B's left thigh."

Okay easy, this is going to be over soon. With my left hand still on Naomi's left foot, I guided her foot and placed it on my left thigh. It wasn't easy, keeping my lips and heel fixed on the respective places. My only available right hand gripped Naomi's waist to keep my balance. By this time, my skirt had ridden far up my thighs and it was only barely covering my very soaked knickers. It was getting uncomfortable; this needed to end soon.

"Alright that's the end!" Panda clapped joyfully while Cook cheered.

I heard Naomi sigh as I removed my lips and we untangled ourselves from each other. She removed her hand from me and I inwardly sighed at the missing contact. I was avoiding Naomi's eyes but I noticed her cheeks were flushed, her lips were slightly apart and she was breathing through them.

"Fuck, I think I need a drink." Naomi muttered and clamoured a little unsteadily to the pack of beers, leaving me by myself.

It was okay, I don't think I could handle being around Naomi for now. I moved to sit beside Katie as she had suggested from the start, thinking that I should increase the distance between Naomi and I. Naomi sat beside Effy who seemed to be looking at Naomi with a smug expression which Naomi just rolled her eyes and drank deeply from her can, ignoring her. A rather strange interaction going on between them that needed no words.

Katie was behaving a little stiffly with me, probably showing that she was displeased with what had happened. I was annoyed because I certainly had no control over that game.

I spent the rest of the night mostly keeping quiet. No one seemed to notice much. Not that I had to participate in everything, I was content just silently listening and watching, but most of all, trying to sit comfortably with my ruined knickers and dwelling on the things that cause that throbbing sensation. My mind started a private movie of its own, playing and replaying the images of Naomi squeezing my breast, my lips on her smooth neck, how she smelt so wonderful and how I had never been so turned on in my life. I noticed Naomi was so majorly silent, interjecting infrequently, but mostly fidgeting, crossing her legs, uncrossing them and hugging them to her chest. I wondered if she was also experiencing what I still am.

I really wanted to know. We definitely were attracted to each other. Every shudder, every gasp, every shakily exhaled breath and every lip bite must have meant something more. I could tell from the way she was occasionally looking at me, lingering on me, pretending to look away yet her eyes are back on me again and I was firing the same looks back at her. I wanted to climb onto her and snog her silly. It was torture.

.

.

We were back at Effy's door, this time saying our goodbyes. No one really said much; I guess we were all tired. I couldn't wait to hit my bed and just get myself some alone time. Naomi jumped on her bicycle, gave us a general wave and pedaled off like she was in a hurry. I was a bit disappointed that she didn't personally come to say goodbye to me. I watched the red blinking taillight of her bicycle disappear into the night and headed off in the other direction with Katie.

We were silent as we walked home, not that I had much to say to her. I rather not speak about whatever that happened tonight. My head was just full of Naomi now. I just want to quietly collate everything I've felt and happened with her and store it as a memory in my head, just in case none of it ever happened again.

When we got home, Katie immediately got into the shower first. Knowing that she'd take a long time, I removed my makeup and lay down on the covers of my bed. I was still feeling uncomfortable in my slightly damp knickers as I remembered how wet I was and the intense throbbing a while ago.

_Should I…_ I hesitated, my hand rested on my stomach. Then I heard the shower just start up and realised I had at least fifteen minutes to myself before Katie finished. That should be just enough.

I quietly slipped my hands under my skirt and tugged my knickers below my hips, not completely removing them and slowly slipped my left hand over the waistband of them, sliding slower till the tip of my index finger met the slippery wetness that was still evidently present. I shifted my left leg a little wider and added the tip of my middle finger to the gentle strokes my other finger was already making on my clit.

I closed my eyes and titled my head back breathing deeply, my mind hurtling back to images of the night. _Naomi. Naomi. Naomi._

I wondered if she had felt the same as I did.

* * *

><p>AN: Not quite what you expected? I hope you enjoyed the games they played. I really did play this in real life with my bunch of friends and it was hilarious. A few actions used were what we actually did though I did switch things up. It probably didn't come across as fun here but I tried my best. Just thought I'd like to share it.

Naomi's up next. I wonder what she's doing.


	9. The Build Up

Thanks to **GilmoreRos, Alice, fookyeahskins, CrystalKR1, CooMaKie, monkeypen, jarv, DNNHK, Megs, M, graytodeath, fakevegan, FrenchJuliett, mUfF MuNcHeR, SA, OliveYew517, dourememberthat, EverybodyNeedsABitOfLove** who got me up to a hundred and more. Much appreciation for the first time reviewers too.

Glad some of you enjoyed the game. Do pm me to share your stories if you're dying to tell!

I'm going to London for two days, possibly Thursday and Friday, for the first time in my life so I thought I'd get this up first. Any Londoners would like to show me around or private message me to instruct me on the best cheap shopping/food places? Or where I can potentially meet Lily or Alex. :) I heard you people there are kinda unfriendly. I seriously hope not! (Then I realised most reviewers here aint from the uk even though the stats say otherwise. You guys are really unfriendly! I'm kidding.) I'll still manage and hopefully get some inspiration along the way.

Alright back to the chapter. What this story needs is drama. I think you might be able to gauge how I might possibly write heated scenes? I really think I'll need tips or someone more experienced to write them for me. But for now, don't throw things at me after reading this. I think I expect lots of silent disapproval.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Nine – The Build Up<strong>

**Naomi**

I jumped on my bicycle and pedaled as fast as my legs could. I only had one thing in mind right now and that was that to let nothing hold me up as I cycled home at breakneck speed.

It was a cold night, the sky stiff and charcoal black, as I made my way home with the aid of the feeble light from scattered lamps along the road. I had my jacket zipped up but it didn't stop the wind from seeping under my skirt and chilling my skin. Tonight, wearing a skirt was a very bad choice on so many levels.

The cold wind streamed past my ears and filled my lungs as I guzzled as much oxygen as I could to fuel my legs. They were on fire now; every part of me was on fire. Everything around me was a tunnel vision.

I finally reached my lawn, hopped off and chained my bicycle up. I quietly opened the front door and got in, hoping my mom was asleep and that I could just creep upstairs without disturbing her.

"Back Naomi?" I heard my mom call out to me. The kitchen light was on and I guess she was there. "Have some tea dear?"

"No thanks mom, why are you still up?" I saw my mom sitting at the table and blowing gently on a steaming hot cup, a stack of opened mail beside her. She was in her sleepwear and looked tired but still giving me one of those smiles, the kind of smile like a mother smiling when her child is home safely.

"Oh I just couldn't get to sleep so I made some tea and opened the mail. I think I feel a little tired now, so I should head to bed." She gave a little yawn.

She wasn't fooling anyone; she waited for me to come back before she could sleep, "You don't have to wait up for me you know, I'm sorry I should have called."

"I didn't," she gave me another tired smile, "Did you have fun at Effy's?"

"Yes I did." Right, I remembered why I rushed home. "I'm feeling pretty knackered myself, think I'm going up now."

"Alright dear, sweet dreams." She sipped on her tea.

"Goodnight mom." I bent down and kissed her cheek lightly.

I think I mentioned before that I love my mom. I respect her a whole lot for keeping this house together, for putting me through school and for making sure I had enough to eat. I just wished she thought more about herself instead of tiring herself out by waiting and worrying unnecessarily about me. I made another mental note that I'll be a better daughter by calling back.

I headed up the stairs to my room. I dumped my bag at the foot of my bed and immediately got into the bathroom.

I whipped off my t-shirt in one fluid motion, pulled off my skirt, unhooked my bra, slipped off my boxers and got into the shower. Turning on both the cold and hot taps, I adjusted the water till it was bordering on hot and just stood there, letting the spray of hot water just cascade over me and coat me like a comforting warm embrace. Closing my eyes, I lifted my head and let the spray comb my blonde hair back feeling the droplets rain down rhythmically on my face and bounce off my body. I felt my muscles automatically relax from the heat and heaved a sigh of relief. A cold shower was what I thought I needed but it didn't seem fitting after pedaling through the chilly night.

My mind instantly flashed back to what happened, smiling when I remembered how sporting Emily was for volunteering and how I was so excited yet so nervous when I partnered her in the game. I finally really knew how the phrase 'butterflies in your stomach' felt like. I was queasy with excitement. I could shit beautiful butterflies. I realise that these feelings are all new, that I've never experienced them before. This attraction to Emily is totally in a different league compared to others. It was never like that with Angela or the rest of the girls before her. All of them felt familiar; Emily feels new. It's either something's really wrong or really right.

I squeezed a dollop of shampoo and started to soap my hair, my mind reeling with images – like the memory of my hand on Emily's breast. I actually had my hand on her breast. Okay technically it wasn't on the bare flesh but over her top and her bra, that sensation of having it in my hand twisted my insides in a familiar way. To think I wanted to _pretend_ to hold it. I was just being thoughtful; I didn't want Emily to turn and run screaming away from me. I wasn't shy holding a girl's breast, I had tons of experiences with them without the bras on but this supposedly innocent action was making me nervous as hell. Maybe it's because it's Emily, maybe I felt it's wrong that I was about to violate her knowing that it was going to be intentional.

I proceeded to soap my body, my mind turning into another avenue.

With her hand on my foot, I thought I was doing fine, I could handle five more actions. It can't get harder than holding a breast can it? And I totally thought her foot on my knee wasn't going to be a big deal until I realised I got more turned on when I saw her slender foot and perfectly painted toenails resting on my knee, her slim calf and half raised skirt.

I groaned in frustration and scrubbed myself harder like I was trying to distract and gather myself. What is it about this girl that could just turn me on my putting a fucking foot on me? Does it even make sense? How can an innocent touch lure out the horny monster in me just like that? How could I survive when I finally see her naked? No don't think that way, not now.

That kiss in the shelter was still vividly stamped into my mind. There weren't colourful fireworks erupting behind my closed eyes like what some mainstream song sang about. Nothing like that. Actually everything was rather dead quiet, the air held its breath, the leaves laid still, even my heart lowered its thumping volume.

And when I kissed her, I kissed her slowly, unsurely, decisively, and tellingly. My whole being was trying to say everything I couldn't put down in words through that kiss. I kissed her, telling her that she made me feel different, that she was perfect to me even though she thinks otherwise, that it wasn't just a birthday kiss. I kissed her, asking her if it was okay for me to like her, if she could even like me back a little, if there was something more. A kiss could speak wonders but I bet mine was just stuttering with unfinished words that I wasn't complete enough to say them.

Her lips were soft, gentle and hesitant, but it brought a combusting chemical reaction that rippled right through my body, releasing epinephrine. And I realised that this was akin to adrenaline. It was such a simple kiss yet I was feeling wonders. She was making me feel wonderful with something so simple.

I breathed out a huge sigh as the water brushed away the suds from my hair and body; remembering how her lips felt on my neck. That was one hell of a turn on. It was like we were having foreplay except that it wasn't. It was torture; a test of my self-control. I felt a little wetness pooling right there again. Fuck sake, not again. I just washed them away a moment ago.

I never had to exert so much will power to not kiss someone before. Usually if it was any girl, I would have done it but the thought of just kissing Emily then made me feel scared. She wasn't just any girl. It wasn't just a kiss; it was a kiss that I felt that I couldn't explain why I did it. It would be like 'what now?' And I wouldn't know how to meander my way out of that situation if that happened.

I turned off the hot water and let the cold water blast down on me instead, feeling the water berate and numb my skin, effectively silencing and eliminating the alcohol from my system.

I got out after a couple of minutes and toweled dry. Lying on my bed and still very naked, I laid on my stomach and hugged my pillow to my face, relishing the cool air caressing my exposed back while duvet covered me waist down. Wouldn't it be simple if I just confessed my attraction? Yet there was this nagging at the back of my mind that goes like, _she also likes a guy and you're cheating on Angela. _

I was at the point in my mind where I felt very uncertain. It's like, you know what you think you want but you're not sure if it's really what you want. I think I want Emily, but I'm not sure if it's because she's something I've never had or experienced before or I'm just bored of Angela.

Things are just as complicated as we make them to be. I'm more complicated then I appear to be it's just that no one sees that. They're not looking right into me enough.

I breathed in the scent of fresh clean sheets feeling my mind dim with tiredness. I flipped myself back on my back and lay right in the middle of my bed; arms open, hair in disarray, just staring at the dark ceiling coming to an incandescent realisation.

I have dramatically fallen for Emily Fitch.

* * *

><p>Slowing my legs from the motion of pedaling, I proceeded to a gradual halt in front of the familiar house. Immaculate garden, fresh paint on the walls, door with the frosted glass and a cat flap – I'm in front of Emily's house.<p>

Admittedly, all I could do all weekend was to think about her. I tried to get on with my coursework, to distract myself with basketball or even attempted to watch the tele but my mind just decisively found its way past the distractions to her. Now, since when everything else became a distraction and Emily became the source of focus? I found it easier to think about her than to attempt my course work, obviously. It even was easier to daydream about her than to watch some shitty reality show but I found it disconcerting that I couldn't even focus on shooting hoops. What's happening to me? Basketball was my focus but now everything has faded into a blur distortion with only crystal clear thoughts about Emily.

I tried to call her but all I did was stare at her name on my phone list. I wanted to text her but I couldn't think of anything to say after a 'hi' so I didn't. I ended up just imagining how it would be like spending time with her, watching the way her lips twitch as I make her laugh, the sound of her husky voice as she talks to me and only me; and counting down the hours till I get to see her in school. These are all signs of attachment and I'm aware of that. I never wanted the weekend to end so fast. I managed to escape going out with Angela and clubbing with James on the pretense of a cold and rather preferred to hole myself up in my room. Time crawled by with the strength of a snail.

But here I am, after escaping the clutches of weekend boredom, early in the morning with the sun just peeking over the horizon, in front of Emily's house.

You know the feeling where you just have to meet someone at any cost despite how ridiculous the situation looks, like you don't even care how absurd it is, but you just have to be in their presence or you'll die? That's why I'm here, not even going for my morning practice session but instead, made a whole detour to Emily's house in the hope of walking with her to school. Pathetic? Yes. Smitten? Yes. Hopelessly deranged? Yes. These are the signs of the impending life changing realisation. The realisation that I liked someone enough to do this.

I kicked out my bicycle stand, propping it up carefully and walked to the front door of the Fitch house with the nerves that almost resembled a groom asking the parents for the hand of their daughter. I pressed the bell and waited, listening to the muffled ring it made throughout the house. _Oh fuck I hope they're awake!_

The door opened a fraction after a good many seconds and a tall woman with dark long hair peered out. She must be Emily's mother. I mean there's no other explanation as to who else she could be right? Well Emily does look like her, in a way, but thank fuck for Emily getting some beautiful genes from her dad.

"Yes? May I help you?"

"Um hi, you must be Emily's mother. I'm Naomi, Emily's classmate. Uh – is Emily in?"

"Hi Naomi, it's a little early," I detected a hint of disapproval, "Emily's just coming down for breakfast is anything the matter?"

_Argh, just let me see her!_ "Um – I need – I've got something to ask – "

"Naomi?" The voice that I so wanted to hear called my name from behind her mom.

Suddenly the woman was almost roughly shifted aside as the door opened wider, revealing an already dressed up Emily in a half zipped up brown distressed leather jacket over a black t-shirt and dark blue jeans. Her hair was up in a messy bun and her skin looked flawless in the pale morning sun that just ghosted over her. Her slender neck was on full display. I stood there wordlessly and gaped at her like a twat.

Luckily I still could look at her in the eye and not blush. I don't think I would be able to if I had gone home after that gathering at Effy's house and wanked over her. Believe me, I really, really wanted to after being extremely turned on but I restrained myself. Wanking over hot celebrities is much different from wanking over your very pretty and desirable friend. You'd never be able to look at her without getting over the fact that you came while imagining her tongue on certain parts of your body.

"I got this mom." Emily managed to dismiss her mother as she stepped outside barefoot and shut the door.

I smiled at her instantly; my heart danced delightedly with her gaze upon me. She was giving me a small shy smile that made her look so, so adorable. I wanted to lean over a kiss her good morning.

"Good morning." I managed to say, without the whole leaning over and kissing thing.

"Good morning." She replied, her voice extra husky and her cheeks were red. We smiled more at each other. It was almost like a smiling contest to see who could make the other happier with their smile. The world should have more of this. "What are you doing here so early?"

"I – uh – just wanted – I mean," I opened my bag, brought out a brown crumpled paper bag and handed to her, "I was passing by a bakery and I saw these freshly ones and I had to get them for you." _Liar, you specially waited till it was freshly out and bought them just for her._

"Cinnamon buns!" She squealed excitedly like a little child receiving a new toy. "It smells delicious Naomi, how did you know I love them!"

"You did mention about it before." I sheepishly smiled. I'm the ultimate Emily Fitch stalker; no one comes a close second.

"Aww thank you, you're so sweet!"

And she leant closer to me. For a fucking moment, I swear she was about to kiss me. I really thought she was but just like that in a heartbeat, she jerked back, a faint blush covering her cheeks. Was she blushing? Or was it because it was cold? _Damn it, kiss me will you! I've been dreaming about it day and night, night and day for two whole days!_

She recovered, giving a quick glance around, as though making sure no one saw that. "Now I don't need breakfast at home," she said happily looking into the paper bag with child-like delight. Seeing how I brought that gigantic smile to her face was worth all the effort in waking fifteen minutes earlier to wait at the bakery. I would do that daily if I could make her this happy everyday. "Do you want to come in? Have you had breakfast?"

I had another plan. A plan that could only be carried out if she was involved.

"Yeah I've had. Actually I was thinking – I mean just thinking – if you want we could – I could walk with you to school." I don't know if she got anything because I mumbled the last part out, feeling so fucking shy, like I was asking to walk a girl to school for the first time in my life. It's almost I had zero confidence about myself. Not true, I was Naomi Campbell, I definitely had no qualms in asking a girl out but Emily just reduces me to a blubbering, shy pile of mess every time I try to walk her to class. It seems like only she could bring out this unknown side of me.

Her smile shrank but it did not disappear, it seemed to glow brighter instead, as well as her brown eyes, which were illuminated, and boring through mine. I was suddenly quite conscious. Did I just fucking make myself very clear about this, about my affections for her, about how I would do anything just to see her? I hadn't thought so much that any of my actions would portray this; I was so caught up with just wanting to see her that I hadn't realised it could be so obvious. Does she know now? Would she let me know that she knew? Would she be okay about it? I mean, I did walk her to class before and turned up unexpectedly to celebrate her birthday. Such one off thing events couldn't be obvious but when some things get done all the time, one would surely start to wonder if there was something more, intentional, desired after. But I wasn't quite ready to put my feelings out in the open, not when I'm not sure how she really feels, and not when I'm still with Angela. Neither did Emily.

"That would be lovely," Emily's voice cut through my thoughts, "Can you give me five minutes? I'll tidy up and grab my bag, then we can go."

She was out of the house in a jiffy, throwing on some old converse high tops and slinging her back over her shoulder.

"Don't you have to – like go for your morning – basketball practice?" Emily asked between bites as we slowly strolled side by side with me pushing my bicycle.

_How did she know I have those sessions? _"Nah, took a break for today. Besides, I've practice after school – before our math session." I grinned at her, amused at how her mouth got all dirty from the sugary stuff on the cinnamon bun.

Emily nodded and took another bite as I quietly gazed and observed her chewing, licking and swallowing. I was memorizing everything about her, every action and every nuance. I think I've had it bad if I can find such minor things fascinating.

"What are you staring at?" She asked, blushing and lowering her eyes.

_Shit, I must have been staring too long again. Remember to look away once in a while!_ "Uh you've got," I hovered my finger over the space between the right side of my chin and lips and pointed, "Some sugary thing there."

She stuck out her tongue and traced it over her rosy pink lips and pushed it out further to the right of her lips, trying to lick it away. I swear my eyes widened at her wriggling tongue. It was too much. Such a simple action was causing my mind to spasm and go into shock.

"No I meant on your left."

She did the same thing, with the tongue and all, trying to lick the other side. My stomach tightened and I tried to breathe normally. My whole mind was filled with images of me bending over and licking up the sugary stuff off her lips, and more.

"All gone?"

"Yeah much better." I choked out, realising my mouth had gone dry.

We chatted without inhibitions during the whole walk to school. I love how easy it is with her; how comfortable silence sits between us when we've nothing to say; how easy it takes for me to make her laugh and smile, as it is the same for me. Sometimes we are fortunate to have people like that in our life and upon realising that, we should acknowledge it, cherish it and never let it go. They could be just friends, or your best friend, or someone you wish to spend every minute of your waking hour with them. Don't let them go. Emily could dangerously fall into any and all of the three categories.

"See you later yeah?" I said as I walked her to class. We both have different classes today but I had arranged for a math session today because I just can't stand not seeing her for the whole day even after walking to school with her.

"Yeah." She gave me a tiny wave and smile before disappearing into class.

I walked to mine with a huge smile on my face. You know, I can get used to this sort of happiness everyday.

.

.

"Your girlfriend's here."

I inwardly groan as Ashley informed me. What was she doing here? I thought she didn't exactly like to watch me at practice. Sighing, I turn around and scanned the stands for her.

Wait. That's Emily and not Angela over there waving at me. _Wave back you idiot!_ I did and I searched again. Nope. Angela's not here.

"That's not my girlfriend you tit." I shot at Ashley.

"No? Well I thought – you both seem to spend a lot of time together." Ashley shrugged.

"We're just friends. She's tutoring me later." I stated through gritted teeth.

"Oh – okay."

But I was inwardly bubbling with happiness that Emily was here and waiting for me. She was going to tutor me after this and though we arranged to meet in class, she must have somehow preferred to wait for me here. That must mean something right?

Thankfully practice was wrapping up. I hurriedly took a shower and met her at the stands where she was reading a book.

"Hey."

"Hey." She smiled at me and I grinned back. Man, what is it about her that makes me smile all the time!

"Shall we go?"

.

.

"So you use this," she pointed to a figure, "And apply it to this formula and you'll get an answer which you'll have to apply it to the other formula."

I scooted closer to her and bent over the question we were poring over, my face just inches from hers. I actually knew how to do that question but I let her explain it to me, because I just can't resist listening to her speak. I feigned stupidity so she can explain the question to me while I zone out and observe her instead. Just because I was so close, I could breathe her in. I smelt a new delicate scent, something like a hint of perfume, not overpowering but just a faint note of it over her familiar shampooed hair.

And man did she smell good, as always. My mind flailed as it sank and drowned in this delightful smell. My eyes drifted on its own accord to her profile, taking in yet again for the uncountable time of stolen glances, her slender neck, rosy lips, her button nose, the curl of her lashes. I know reiterate my attraction to her features a lot; I watch her a thousand times all over and I never grow tired. She was a short film I could rewatch all over and not get sick of it.

"Ahem, Naomi, are you paying attention?" Emily turned her face to me.

If we eliminate this couple of inches, our noses would have bumped. I noticed her cheeks were slightly tinged with red again as her eyes flicked over the length of my face. Apparently I was staring again but luckily I knew how to do the question.

"Of course!" I took a pencil and redid the math workings that I had already practiced the day before. "See, I know my stuff."

She hummed in approval, "Great! You're improving!"

"Only because I have someone awesome teaching me." I leaned back on my chair and placed my hands behind my head, smiling back at her.

Her mouth twitched into a smile and she ducked her head a little, "I did nothing much. It's all your hard work."

I wouldn't have it. She has got to know she's worth so much more than what she thinks. At least to me.

"Emily," I brought my hands down and placed my left hand on her thigh. I have no control or whatsoever with my hands. All they know was that they were itching to touch her. It's been so long since I had my hand on her breast or her lips on my neck. I'm allowed to touch her thigh isn't it? It's a mild comparison to them. I shifted my body till I was facing her, looking straight at her. "You are an amazing person. You got this heart of yours that's just shining brightly from inside and it shows." I tilted her chin up getting her to look at me, observing how her eyes widened. "You make your friends happy. Even my friends like you. You're smart, pretty, full of laughter and fun and you're much more than you play yourself down to be. You're a pretty fucking awesome person. And I – you mean a lot to me."

I looked into those brown eyes that seemed to be full of – shyness? almost uncomfortable? awkward? My face was inches from hers; I was leaning almost into her. Could it be that she felt uncomfortable with the proximity, the inappropriateness of the situation? I was lost. Could it be that she wasn't into me as I had thought? That I was clearly reading it all wrong? Could I be just some easy, fucking experiment to her? No it can't be, could it? I was in doubt and kicking myself all over again. I felt vulnerable, flummoxed and discombobulated but I had to know. Right now.

Her lips moved with words I couldn't comprehend, they were a muffled buzz to my ears. My pulse pounded like a hammer; I swallowed with far too much difficulty.

Fuck it.

Pushing all objections and deliberations aside from my mind, my raw instincts took over. I tried believe what I would do next was essential and crucial to my near future.

I surged forward and pushed my lips against hers, inwardly berating myself for how tactlessly and rough that felt. I kissed her wholly and fully on her lips, every fiber of me yearning for her to kiss me back. Her soft lips seemed to move against mine but just like that, she was pulling back. I pulled back, too, frantically. I clutched the desk in any physical attempt to steady myself. Her chest was heaving and her eyes – they were a blend of shock and trepidation. Fuck me, have I really got it all wrong this time? Her body language was pointing at all the negative realisations springing into my head. Everything was unreal, nothing was true, and all that I'd read and imagined was a case of fiction, believable till it was not. This was true; she doesn't feel the same. I fucked up this relationship with my over imaginative mind.

"Naomi, I – "

"S-sorry," I stammered out, my insides have all turned into ice. I was in panic mode; I'd never felt so vulnerable. Who knew that I, the confident basketball star, couldn't handle the rejection dished out by this one and only girl that had subconsciously gotten under my skin. "Shit – this is a huge mistake – fuck, I'm sorry – shit."

I fumbled around the desk, blindly shoving my books and papers unceremoniously into my bag. My hands were shaking. I fumbled over the clasp of my bag. I really never ever had this kind of serious reaction. I was shitting myself.

"Naomi! Wait!" She tried to get my attention but I wasn't giving any of it. I didn't want to sit around and let her comfort and tell me that she was flattered but she didn't feel the same. I didn't want to hear any explanations. I just wanted to get away to somewhere safe.

"Sorry I gotta go, this is a mistake." I dragged out my chair, cringing as the metal scrapped against the floor. Without so much as a last look at her, I practically ran out of the class and out of school, trying to outrun the situation before the reality of it really catches up on me.

I jumped on my bicycle and pedaled recklessly to a place where I knew I was wanted, that I could feel wanted, where I had some form of control. I huffed, swung my bicycle around the corner, narrowly missing an oncoming car. I almost rammed into a street lamp while trying to avoid an elderly couple. I blazed down a steep slope faster than I had ever gone. I wanted to crash; I wanted to feel pain; I wanted to this whole thing to be a dream so I couldn't hurt; I wanted to feel nothing.

I wanted to feel nothing of the pain that pierced my heart by the shards of shattered pieces of my wild imagination. How did I not see it coming? I had inevitably fallen for a straight girl. I had fucked up my platonic relationship with her and cheated by kissing Emily. I would think I was overreacting if I was looking at myself from afar. I could've laughed it off with her and flirted with her like how I was like all the time in the past, never admitting any attachment to her, being the player that most people think I am. But the scary part is that, deep down inside, I knew, I couldn't. Because I knew, I had really fallen for her. I couldn't look at all that's in front of me and tell myself that it meant nothing.

That's why I ran, because that was unfamiliar and it was easy.

I flung my bicycle down in front of the house and rapped loudly on the door. "Angela!" I shouted.

A few seconds later the door flung open, "Baby what are – "

I silenced her with a forceful kiss before she had her whole sentence out. A squeal of surprise escaped her lips as I gripped her waist and pushed myself through her doorway into the threshold of her house, slamming the door behind us. I pushed her up against the door, plunging my tongue determinedly into her mouth and inwardly delighting at the moan of approval she emitted. I pulled my lips away and moved them to her neck, nipping much harder than necessary at her pulse point. I heard a sharp intake of breath and her hands pulled my head back to her and reattached her lips to mine, her hands grabbing the back of my head.

We both clearly knew what I came here for and I knew I was wanted. I was in control; I was going to give because I had the power to. I had the power to fuck her because I was allowed to.

I removed myself off her and pulled her onto the couch in the living room. There was no time to move to the bedroom, there was no time to have it sweet. She knew it, she wanted it and I could give it.

I climbed on top of Angela, straddled her and reconnected our lips again. This time our kisses were haphazard, teeth clashing, tongues missing each other's. It was badly sloppy. I tried to find the spark between our kisses that was once present. I tried to find a resemblance in the texture of the lips I was made to kiss so often to the lips I only managed to kiss thrice. I forgot those I kissed often and remembered the one I hardly ever did. I couldn't help feeling how strange the former felt against the latter. But this wasn't the time to harp on such matters; fuck all these feelings about Emily.

"Off." I commanded and pulled her till she was upright and tugged the hem of her tank top up and over her head, flinging it out of sight.

She pulled my head down to meet my lip and clawed at my back, trying to get my t-shirt off but I wasn't having it. No, if she wanted to be fucked, she'll have to have it my way.

This was a new side of me; I've never had an angry fuck before nor have I ever initiated one with so much pent up anger. But I realised that I wasn't angry. I was blaming myself for being such a fool, for falling for a straight girl and for cheating on someone who clearly wants me more than the other. How can I be such a prick and take it out on Angela?

I slowed our frantic kisses and pushed her back onto the couch, this time with less force. She must have sensed my change of pace and smiled widely as she looked up at me and reached to unhook her bra.

"Don't." I said and pulled her hands away. I still wanted the control and she has to go along with it.

"I like it when you're in command baby, it's so hot." She pulled be back down to meet her lips, pushing her tongue straight into my mouth and stroking mine.

She was doing it right this time. I moaned into her kiss as she cupped my ass and I slid my hand between our bodies, grabbing on to a bra-clad breast and feeling her arch into my palm.

Suddenly an image flashed into my mind like a strobe of light. A white, vivid image; the image of my hand on Emily's breast and how it was almost similar to this. _Almost._ Another image materialized and inserted itself in my head, this time it was the image of Emily writhing and moaning beneath me. This was so fucking wrong, to be almost fucking her while images of another girl invaded my mind. _This _felt so wrong. I felt like I had to stop.

I released my hand and pulled my head away again but Angela took it as a sign to proceed in other matters and unbuttoned her shorts.

"Babe, get these off me."

I automatically and mechanically brought my hands to the waistband and tugged it off her as she lifted her ass. She was wearing a red and very tiny thong.

_Red._ My actions stilled. I looked up at her but I didn't see her. I saw Emily. I tried to snap out of it. What's wrong with me? I've got a girl here that wants me yet I can't concentrate on her? I was detached. I didn't feel like anything. I felt like nothing. I didn't want to do this. It felt like I was cheating myself, filling myself with something I didn't care for.

Angela reached behind, unhooked her bra and dropped it aside. I was now staring at her breasts, gorgeous ones if I might say so, the ones that I once had the pleasure of having. And I felt nothing. Not even a bite of excitement or want. She grabbed my hands and placed them on her breasts, shifting her hips till my thigh was resting flushed against her centre. She was really wet but I wasn't, not even the slightest bit. It was like someone screwed my tap tight. Even touching them wasn't doing me anything.

It was wrong. I was supposed to want her as badly as she wants me now. Or even just a fraction of that. All that was running through my mind was how strange this felt, how different and how much I didn't want this. I didn't want Angela. I wanted Emily.

I tried to lift myself off her as she started to grind against my stagnant thigh. "Angela," I called.

"Yeah fuck me baby." She continued her motions, assuming I had called her name out of passion.

"No. Stop." I said a little more firmly this time, releasing her breasts, which I was barely gripping and shifting my thigh away.

"What?" She stared confused.

"Sorry," I sat up and inched backwards, "I can't do this."

"What do you mean baby? I want you now." She grabbed my waist and tried to pull me back.

"I'm sorry." I reiterated, "I can't do this."

I abruptly got off the couch and looked around for my bag. I don't know if it's the right word but,_ luckily_, I was still fully clothed. I could get out and away fast.

"Naomi! What is this? You can't do this? Didn't you come here to have sex with me?" Her hair was in disarray and she made no attempt to cover up her nakedness. I could tell she was flustered and fucking confused but I couldn't find it in me to explain anything right now. I know owe her an explanation.

I headed to the door, "Sorry." That was all I could manage to say. It was like a broken record no one really wants to hear cause it's just painful and annoying.

"You can't leave me like that!" She shouted as I opened the door. "Fuck you Naomi!"

That was the last I heard as I slammed her front door shut and go back on my bicycle.

A weight was shifted off me. Like I had been carrying a rock for months and suddenly it was taken off me and I could stand up properly by myself. That weight was relief. I felt weightless, like a spinning top balancing and humming oh so quietly but precariously, wavering.

That was fucked up. But I wasn't fucked up. I couldn't go on and fuck a girl I knew I didn't have enough feelings for. I couldn't lead her on. I still had some sort of conscience in me.

_The hero withdrew  
>When there was two<br>He could not choose one  
>So there was none<em>

I couldn't have the one I wanted but I wasn't going to carry on with this, not when I clearly knew it isn't what I wanted.

So I would have none.


	10. Blood Bank

Sorry for the wait and that yall didn't like the angst. Can't be all sun shiny all the time, that aint life yeah? But thank you once again **DNNHK, DontBeIgnorant23, gerlierana, fookyeahskins, sexpistols, Alice, Crevette, asdfghjkl, fakevegan, M, SA, CrystalKR1, TheGRANDest, David Archuleta and spikie142003** for leaving one. I got a job so that's having like less than two hours a day to write and I can't do it everyday. Hope yall be patient with me.

London was beyond awesome and I got me two packets of garibaldi.

Don't think this chapter will be graced with many reviews but leave one if you think it's alright.

They aint making babies soon (they're like what? Eighteen? Ha.) but… well you know how it'll work soon.

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><p><strong>Chapter Ten – Blood Bank<strong>

**Emily**

What the fuck just happened?

I stared wide-eyed and blankly at the vacated seat in front of me, taking huge buckets of air with my mouth as I tried to calm my frantically palpitating heart; the image of Naomi's panic-stricken facial expression plastered itself in my mind. I brought my fingers to my lips and tentatively touched them, remembering how Naomi's lips had once again met mine for the briefest of seconds.

_She kissed me again but…_

My mind tried to backtrack to the prior few minutes. _She called me amazing. She said I meant a lot to her._ That was when I gazed fully into her eyes again, her pristine, gorgeous, captivating blue eyes, the ones that make me want to drown in them or fly into them at the same time. I stared transfixed, spellbound, void of any form of speech.

Her lips, pink and rosy, were merely inches from my face. I hadn't even realised we had unknowingly drawn close to each other. Then again with Naomi, I find myself unconsciously moving myself towards her all the time, like I have to be near her or close to her, to be in her presence, to feel near to her. My attraction to her; the way she attracts me. I yearned to kiss her now.

But a huge bout of nervousness had overtaken me. My nerves clenched and unclenched themselves; a huge internal debate took place. Lots of "what if" questions started to cloud my mind in that instant. What if I kissed her. What if I did I didn't. What if I did and she didn't kiss back. What if I made this mistake and we can't be friends anymore. I opened my mouth but noiseless words flew right out of them. I couldn't get myself to enunciate them.

Then I felt her lips on mine before I could even understand what had happened. It caught me by surprise. Again. True, she kissed me before, twice, but one was a birthday kiss and the other was a post birthday kiss, a half kiss. Whatever. Both didn't mean anything to her but she was my first and firsts mean a lot to most people. I am the most people. She was everything to me, like how firsts are. But I didn't want this third kiss to be nothing to her again. I wanted to know if she really meant it or she was just fucking about with me. I need to ask her, to tell her, to know.

I pulled back quickly before I mentally and physically lost myself in the texture of her soft lips. It wasn't easy, believe me. I was breathing heavily, my face was probably also flushed red, as I struggled to collect my mind and breath. I could smell Naomi's scent all around me. My head was giddily swimming in it. My lips tingled from that brief contact. Given a choice, I never wanted to stop. I want so fucking badly just to kiss her back and tell her that I fancied her for the longest time. But I my mind had other decisions.

"Naomi, I – " I started, wanting to ask her what this and everything meant.

"S-sorry." I heard her stammer out. "Shit – this is a huge mistake – fuck, I'm sorry – shit."

I had frozen. My unsaid said words left dangling half out of my mouth. I swallowed them back in as I was momentarily stunned. _Huge mistake? Did she mean this kiss was a huge mistake?_ A sudden pain constricted my heart, like a knife had been slowly and steadily pressed into it, determined and sure, cutting. I couldn't breathe as I witnessed her scrambling around gathering her things, her eyes looking everywhere but me, her eyes that displayed regret and panic. Huge mistake? Did she mean it was a mistake to kiss me because she had actually felt nothing for me, and that we can't really be friends anymore because of this?

I wanted to grab her, to tell her that it was okay, that this wouldn't mean a thing if she didn't want it to be but I couldn't because how could I convince my heart about that when it did and would meant something and everything to me. She ran away from me, repeating those same words again.

I felt that stabbing pain in my heart again as I recalled her words. The pain was tangible; it was real; it felt like my heart was pinched at its corners and torn slowly down right through the middle. It felt like it was breaking, like she was breaking my heart.

I wiped a stray tear that had slid quietly out of my eyes and tumbled agonisingly down my right cheek. Fuck, why am I crying? I wasn't supposed to feel this much for her. I wasn't supposed to fall for her knowing all the while that it would be unrequited. I let myself get out of control and fall madly for a friend that realised she didn't like me at all.

I took a deep breath attempting to steady my emotions and blew out the air at my fringe that was covering my eyes. I tasted the saltiness of my tears at the back of my throat and sniffed. _Get a grip on yourself. Tomorrow will be fine. You'll get over this, over her and hopefully you both will still be friends._

I couldn't imagine my like without Naomi in every aspect, even if she was just a friend. I could live and get over the fact that I couldn't have her but as long as I could be her friend, I would take it.

In the past, I was living fine not knowing her personally, liking her like a celebrity crush, only in dreams and never real. But once I knew her, she had colonized my mind, my every thought, my every movement. I found a strong beauty in her personality, an attraction to her laugh, a grace in her actions, the fire in her passion, a love for her weaknesses. Removing her from my life would be painful, devastating, crushing to ever fibre of my being.

I smiled sadly to myself as I slowly made my way home. How did I ever let Naomi get this deep into my heart and consciousness? How can I ever get over someone who I've never even dated? How did I manage to fall in love with her?

_The secret that you know  
>But you don't know how to tell<br>It fucks with your honor  
>And it teases your head.<em>

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><p>I checked my phone again. Nothing. Naomi didn't text me last night or this morning. What was I expecting anyway? We do text occasionally, playfully, friendly and a night without a text was normal because our texting wasn't frequent but random. Still, I checked my phone every five minutes last night like I had expected Naomi to send me a text. I was fidgety, out of sorts and out of character till Katie had asked what the fuck was going on with me. I couldn't say, I couldn't tell anyone. I could actually tell JJ but that would just mean repeating everything and that would just cause that pain in my heart to start up again. And that pain would remind me that I had my heart broken and I didn't want to feel that.<p>

I dragged my feet to school, totally aware that my first period would be math and I would see Naomi. I was frightfully anxious and slightly nauseated at the thought of seeing Naomi and her reaction. I didn't want to think what to expect. I was exhausted from the fitful sleep last night and I just want so badly for everything to be okay. I just want to curl up into a ball and will the world to pass by me and hopefully my life could magically turn around.

Taking my usual seat with Katie, I sat quietly flicking occasional glances toward the door. Katie was texting away, oblivious to my lack of words. As each second and minute passed, I felt my heart racing. Any moment now; any moment now. After we knew each other, Naomi usually has been coming into class, smiling at me before taking her place beside Cook. She had no idea that such a simple gesture was making my heart do joyful somersaults every time she laid those gorgeous eyes on me.

There was a flash of blonde hair by the window and I automatically held my breath tight in my lungs knowing it would be her. Naomi opened the door, her head appearing to look resolutely down at the floor and slid into her seat beside Cook. That was too fast. And nothing happened. Nothing. Not a smile, or a wave, or an acknowledgement. I felt that familiar pain erupt all over my chest again. I was getting used to these rounds of pain and I wished I wouldn't. It was hurting me. I scrunched up my eyes and willed the irrational part of me to not cry because that would just need lots of explaining to do if Katie noticed.

During the lesson Naomi sat stiff and straight, alternating between taking notes and staring straight at the board, occasionally tilting her head to reply Cook. I on the other hand completely couldn't concentrate. All I could think of is how I could attempt talk to Naomi, face to face, to see her smile at me and let me know everything is fine.

But after class ended, Naomi immediately picked up her bag and disappeared out of class before I could even start packing. I saw Cook calling and hurrying after her. My poor heart dropped like a sack of granite rocks. The emotional abrasion was cutting deep and drawing blood. I bit my lip to stop my lips from wobbling into a crying stance. I couldn't run after her, not when I knew she was running away from me. The more I ran after her, the faster she ran away. How did things get so fucked up?

Everything was on autopilot today. I followed JJ to classes like a shadow, there but intangible. I ate only when necessary. I talked only when prodded for an answer. My mind was perturbed and unsettled. I wasn't specifically thinking about anything, I was just – not there, the kind of feeling that you just have too many worries overcrowding your mind, pulling it in all directions yet you never specifically thought about them but they're just sitting heavily there.

After math class today, Angie told me I didn't have to tutor Naomi anymore if Naomi didn't need it as her grades were improving but hoped that I'll continue to lend a hand if Naomi asked for my help. There goes one of my few opportunities to be around her. I was fairly certain Naomi wouldn't be asking for my help again given our current situation.

I sighed. I didn't know what to do. If Naomi was determined to avoid me, I didn't want to push my way in. Most people would demand to be heard but I wasn't most people, I submitted to their wants. I was a walking contradiction.

I dragged my chair as I stood warily after the last class of the day. I wasn't myself today. Katie noticed it, so did JJ and Panda but they didn't push it. I just wanted to get home and hide under my sheets and wished this were all a dream when I awoke.

Upon descending the stairs and turning into the hallway, my ears picked up shouting. Someone was shouting loudly. It sounded more like a quarrel was happening right in the middle of the hallway. A voice shrill and indignant. It sounded like a girl.

I frowned and strained my neck to take a look at the end of the hall. With a height like mine, I certainly had trouble. A mass of people were in the hall, bunches of them had stopped to witness the scene, others passed by while turning a curious glance at the commotion. Something was indeed happening.

I caught sight of the girl instigating the ruckus and my heart rate sped up. It was Angela, looking furious and yelling at someone else that was blocked from my view by the bodies in front of me. _Could it be…?_

I gently and quietly elbowed my way through the crowd despite a sense of urgency that had started to burn in me. I was almost reaching the front when a hand shot out of nowhere and touched me on my forearm. I stopped and turned. Effy was the one holding my arm and Freddie was beside her too. She slightly shook her head at me and tilted it to the scene. It was then I realised that the other person being yelled at was Naomi. I shrank back, internally and probably physically. I didn't want Naomi to notice me here, not when something heated with happening right now between herself and her girlfriend. I felt like I was prying into something private but I shouldn't feel that way, because if anything was done publically, I should be allowed to listen.

"I don't understand! I thought we were getting along very well – that we have a lot of fun together. I can't – I mean what went wrong? I – I thought you love me. Just – what did I do?"

Angela was ranting away, wringing her hands in distress and shuffling her feet around. Her forehead was creased, her mouth in a tight line, cheeks splotched red and her eyes were looking wildly at Naomi. Naomi on the other hand was in another alternate stance, coolly leaning against the wall with her arms crossed. Her eyes, which I was so used to seeing so much warmth, were hard and icy, her posture exuding annoyance.

A shiver broke out through me. This was the side of Naomi I had never seen. The cold, unfeeling, heartless Naomi; the girl that probably broke the hearts of countless girls when she broke up with them. I knew she had a reputation for having a different girl many times a year but I kind of forgotten that fact once I got to know her. I thought everything that I heard was false; that this girl that made everything seem beautiful for me was being badly mistaken. Now I couldn't be sure. This Naomi here was not the Naomi I fell for; this was the Naomi that broke hearts, hearts like mine.

"Tell me – what can I do? I'll do anything. Just tell me and I'll change." Angela was a frantic mess, blabbering, begging. Naomi hadn't even uttered a single word, just mutely staring at Angela crumble.

"Nothing. I'm sorry. This isn't going to work out." Naomi finally spoke up, her voice emotionless, flat, tepid.

"Is it because of her?" Angela shouted. "Emilia? Are you breaking up with me because of her?"

_Emilia? Who is Emilia?_ I was confused. I've never heard Naomi mention this girl to me. Naomi knotted her eyebrows as if in confusion too.

Effy suddenly shifted inconspicuously in front of me, blocking most of my view of the scene. I craned my neck and tried to shift out of the obstruction but Freddie also moved in front of me, holding out his hand behind him as if he was telling me to stay where I was, firmly shaking his head. I was perplexed.

Then I got it. _Could – could Angela be referring to me?_ It couldn't – why would – I didn't even think she remembered me. But both Effy and Freddie seem to be shielding me, as if they think it's me, that Angela would fly at me if she knew I was here.

"No!" Naomi replied loudly, apparently looking as though she had figured out that confusion out. "For fuck sake, don't drag her into this. This has nothing to do with her! This is about us."

"It has to be!" Angela retorted. "You spend so much time with her – taking lessons from her, it has to be! Look, you're even protecting her!"

Oh my god. Angela does seem to be referring to me. But I don't understand, how could it be me? How was I ever a threat when Naomi has hardly "hung out" with me apart from the extra classes? Surely there must be a fundamental error somewhere in that conclusion.

"Leave her out of this." Naomi stated firmly, her jaw clenched and eyes boring hard into Angela's ones. "We can't be together anymore."

"Fuck you Naomi!" Angela raised her hand and pointed straight at Naomi, her index finger merely inches from Naomi's face. Naomi hadn't even flinched. "You know what? You're not the one that's breaking up with me. _I_ am breaking up with you." Her voice was shrill and seemed on the verge of breaking.

Naomi gave a slight shrug and shake of her head, "Okay. Whatever that makes you happy."

This Naomi was startling and distressing me. So cold and harsh and so frightening. What if she broke up with me like that? I don't think I can – No no no that wouldn't even happen, Naomi didn't like me at all and she made it quite clear.

Angela raised her hand higher and looked like she was going to slap Naomi. I flinched and wanted to cry out to warn her. I saw Naomi give the tiniest of flinches and pursed her lips. Angela slowly lowered her hand, probably deciding not to. Her face was pale, her lip trembling a little, her eyes looked like it has lost it's light. I wondered if it's an unequivocal truth that the lights in our eyes have been extinguished when someone we love dumped us. I felt sorry for her. As much as I disliked her in the past, she probably did love Naomi, in some way. And I think I understood how that felt, in some way. With a last sob, Angela turned and walked away, pushing through the thinning crowd and disappearing down the hallway.

"Alwrite party's ova, move on." Cook was waving away the last bunch of remaining students in the area. I didn't even notice he was there.

Naomi huffed and puffed out a lungful of air, pushing herself off the wall and scanning her eyes around. They passed by mine but snapped back instantly. I saw her visibly stiffen, her face going pale at the same time as she averted her eyes from mine; her body language tensed up and looked as though she was going to flee.

"Naomi!" I blurted out before I could stop myself. I fucking miss saying her name, calling her name. When you say someone's name to them, it kinda means they still exist in your life. If you don't, they're not.

She froze in mid turn and reluctantly turned back to me. I pushed past Effy and hurried up to her.

"Naomi what happened? Why did she – are you okay – I'm – "

"Can you just mind your own fucking business for once." Naomi harshly cut in, her mouth in an annoyed line, eyes blazing into mine.

I flinched, like I had been slapped instead. A pain sprang into my chest and engulfed me. I bit my lip, holding back a sudden surge of inclination to tear. I timidly looked into those blue eyes, noticing that they had softened and were looking back at me with a mixture of pain and guilt. Pain? If she was hurting from the break up or in any way, I wanted to be there for her, to take it away, kiss it away if I could. I wanted to tell her that she's got me if she wanted me.

She looked briefly down and up at me again, giving me a slight twitch of a smile. I blinked. A tear slid down my cheek. I didn't even realise I had been holding back tears. I didn't even know what I was crying about. I was a sloppy mess. I could understand if she didn't like me if I was that way.

Naomi frowned and reached out instantly, gently brushing it away with her thumb. My skin burned from her touch, then it tingled, and it missed that brief contact. "Sorry," she said. She looked like she meant it, like she was apologising for this and for the kiss. I forgave her, but I didn't know what was happening to us after this 'sorry'.

She stepped back and walked away. Cook was about to follow her when she turned, "Leave me alone James." The tone wasn't harsh; it was just tired, final. Cook stopped short and curtly nodded, watching her hurry away. I felt desperately sad.

"Thanks guys." I didn't know why I thanked them.

Effy nodded at me, her eyes filling with concern. Freddie patted my shoulder, "Take it easy yeah."

I was thankful that I made friends like this. Though we'd only known each other for a short time, it feels comfortable with them, like we just clicked. I was probably thanking them for choosing me for a friend. That must be it.

"Emily."

I was about to leave when Cook called my name.

"Walk ya home?"

He was looking hopefully at me. I had wanted a quiet walk home alone but I guess Cook wouldn't be such a bad company. Maybe he could take my mind off certain matters. I gave a tiny shrug and a half smile as an acknowledgement.

The sky was gray, in the kind of way that the sun was there but you didn't know where it was and that you also didn't know whether it was going to rain. Kind of like me today; I didn't know where I was because I just wasn't _there_ today. If you know what I mean.

I clutched my bag to my side and wrapped my arms around myself. It was chilly, but I know that wasn't the reason why I was cold.

Cook and I walked side by side in silence. It wasn't uncomfortable; I just didn't want to talk or to have anything to say to him. Cook on the other hand had his hands in his pockets and was glancing at me every now and then, kicking up the stones on the ground with his shoes as we walked. He looked like he wanted to talk.

"Ya alwrite Emily?" He finally broke the silence.

"Yeah." I nodded and gave him a small smile.

There was silence again.

He started again, "I hope yer wont hol' it against Naomi for yellin' at yer like that. She mus' be sad or sumfin' ova the… yer know, bein' dumped an' all tha'."

I looked at him, a litte confused, "I thought she was the one that wanted to end things?"

"Not too sure," he shrugged. "She don't tell me nuffin' wif those girls of hers."

I had no answer or reply to that, because I realised I didn't know anything about Naomi's other girls too.

"Don't take Angela's words ter heart, ain't nuffin' ter do wif ya, she was jus' jealous. I know Naomi ain't doin' nuffin' behind her back wif ya." He smiled at me. Part of me wanted it to be untrue but I have no reason to contradict that.

"Is she always hurt like that after – you know – breaking up with someone?" I wanted to analyse how Naomi usually feels or behaves. Maybe I could understand why she snapped like that.

He shrugged, "Naw, I don't think so – sometimes." He scratched the back of his head in thought. "But I know sumfin's bothering her, she ain't sayin' what but I know it."

I nodded again.

"Cheer up Emily," he gently ruffled my hair, "I know ya worried 'bout her but ain't nuffin' we can do now. She'll come back."

I smiled back at him, because how couldn't I? Cook was doing his best to cheer me up. Someone I barely knew was doing friend duties, just like Effy and Freddie. I should be thankful.

I decisively lifted my spirits. We chatted amiably after that. Cook made me laugh. I listened to him talk animatedly about all the shenanigans' he was up to in the past. He asked about Katie, and I made a mental note to tell her that Cook might be interested in her. A usually twenty minute walk took half an hour this time because we were practically strolling and enjoying each other's company. I almost forgot about Naomi.

"This is me." I said as we stopped in front of my house.

"Oh, yeah?" He looked up at my house and then back at me again.

"Cook, thanks for, walking me home and you know – cheering me up." My mouth twitched up for a smile.

He look into my eyes, I noticed that they were blue too, but different from Naomi's. Much different. The hue of blue was different and his eyes were smaller. He looked boyish, standing there with a grin, his hair sticking up after getting blown by the wind and a fitting collared t-shirt that defined his chest muscles. I could see why girls fancied him. I could too, if – if I felt something more.

"James." He gave, what appeared to be a shy smile. "Friends call me James, an' yer Naomi's friend, an' Eff's, an' Fred's an' yer mine too." He mumbled out the last part.

Wait, Cook looks like he's… shy? He was bouncing a little on his feet and clasping his hands behind his back, his eyes suddenly were looking everywhere but mine. I didn't get it, maybe he wanted a favour from me to ask Katie out that's why he looked so nervous. I'm sure Katie would be delighted.

"You're my friend too." I smiled, "And Katie's."

I must have said it right as his face lit up far more than I had seen during the past half hour.

"Bye James."

"Bye Emily."

He bent forward towards me and placed a small but firm kiss on my cheek. It was just an inch away from my mouth. I was stunned; I hadn't expected it. I stood there with my eyes slightly widened at James as he turned a very slight shade of red. _Was he blushing?_ What the – fuck? It disappeared in an instant and his usual confidence oozed out again. He threw a last grin and wave at me and ambled down the road.

No it can't be. James fancied Katie. He was just being charming with that cheek kissing and all that. He just couldn't… like me right? I delved deep into my heart to analyse this unfamiliar situation. _He couldn't. I'm not like pretty or what, even though Naomi keeps calling me that._ I shook my head dismissing thoughts of Naomi again. Katie's the pretty one yeah. _But what if he did?_ A small spark ignited somewhere. I've never been fancied by a guy; I don't know how that feels. It is a bit… new, strange and yet – delightful.

I snapped myself out of this monologue as I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. I shouldn't over think this, it could be nothing and James fancied Katie instead. That felt right. I didn't feel anything about that.

I shut my eyes and snuggled into my pillow. I was exhausted from the events of the day. I refuse to think about them, about Naomi.

_The secret that we know  
>That we don't know how to tell<br>I'm in love with your honour  
>I'm in love with your cheeks.<em>


	11. Collide

Cheers to **fookyeahskins, Beck89, M, Alice Boricua, niceoneBlondie, B, fakevegan, desertdessert, CrystalKR1, fleetingcourage** for sticking with me on the last chapter, especially the ones that never reviewed before and decided leave one. Makes me glad I've a few more awesome people out there that kinda still like this story. Or not.

No other pairings are happening, just Naomily but it aint gonna be much here I'm afraid, just sticking to the theme. Seems like lots of things are messy and happening altogether at the same time but it's part of the plan. Give me a couple of chapters to get to there. I promise I do have something in mind.

Game of Thrones Season Two has started! Shout out if you watch it and spot the easy reference here.

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><p><strong>Chapter Eleven – Collide<strong>

**Naomi**

"Penny for your thoughts dear?"

I was sprawled on the living room couch, staring motionless at some program on the telly. Just staring. I had no idea what it was showing; I just wasn't there. Noise emitting from the telly was just white noise, undecipherable to my ears, a load of nonsense. I must have been in a daze, because I didn't even hear or notice mom slipping in and sitting beside me.

"Nah just some stuff, it's nothing." I mumbled, not really wanting to make conversation at this point. I was tired and wanted to be alone, not to sort out my thoughts, they're too tangled up, but just wanting some space and peace.

_I'm tangled up in you._

"Alright," my mom paused a bit, "you know I'll always be there when you need a listening ear." She smiled affectionately at me.

In her eyes, I could see the care and concern for me. Worried and aging lines etched thinly across her features. I knew she was there, for me, all the time. I just didn't want to worry her about something trivial, something I'm not even sure I should be worried. But I realised every parent would want to know what their child is thinking, their good and bad times, and us being us, we just close up as we get older, and it breaks their heart.

She got up, tucked a bit of hair behind my ear and kissed my temple before walking away.

"Mom."

She halted in her steps and turned around with a tiny smile, I gestured for her to sit again.

"I just… ended things with someone." I didn't mention Angela's name because I've never introduced her to my mom but she does know I date girls.

Mom sat quietly, waiting for me to proceed. I took a deep breath before continuing.

"But the thing is, I didn't feel bad about it – I mean I did, do – but that's not why I'm – upset or whatever."

I looked at my fiddling hands, trying to find the words to express myself, something which I'm not that good or eloquent in.

I paused again to collect my thoughts, "Because, I think I kinda like someone else, when I was with her – I know, it's rather fucked for me to do that but I swear I didn't cheat on her."

"And you're feeling guilty about that?" Mom prodded.

I looked at her and frowned a bit in thought, "I should be, shouldn't I?" Mom smiled and shrugged. "But… I don't think I do." When those words left my mouth, I felt like I was such a horrible person. I mean like, what kind of heartless person am I?

"What are you upset about?"

"Because I don't think she likes me like how I like her." I said it again, out loud this time. That unmistakable wrench in the gut surfaced again.

"How do you know that?"

"I kissed her and she pulled away from me like she was shocked, like it was wrong. I fucked up our friendship – things were going so well between us. I really liked her company." I realised my mom must be confused about our relationship as I'd never told her about my friendship with Emily. "She's a girl that helped me in my math – that I feel very – happy – when I'm talking to her or just – walking her to class or _looking_ at her, you know."

_I'm open you're closed._

She nodded, a smile gracing her lips again.

"But I just had to fuck this up – and now I found out she doesn't like me. Urgh! It's going to be so awkward between us." I rubbed my eyes with my palms, sighing. "How can things ever go back to how it was before? How can I treat her like a friend again?"

"You could try?"

"I know but – I just feel like – I don't want to, you know what I mean?"

"She seems like a lovely girl."

"You haven't even met her mom." I stated pointedly.

"But like you said, she makes you happy. I've never heard you say that about a girl before." She gave me an all-knowing grin.

I sniffed and unwittingly twisted my mouth into a strained smile as I recalled that I did say it and that I was indeed happy in Emily's company.

"People that make us happy are never the people you'd expect. So when you find someone, you've got to cherish it." She brushed my fringe out of my eyes. "And that even means just having them as a friend."

_I'm quiet you know  
>You make a first impression.<em>

I chewed my lip, thinking about those words. It's true, with Emily I feel happier, less alone, less lonely. Yeah I had many girlfriends but sometimes I just get the feeling of loneliness, like even though I was with someone, I was still very much alone. I don't know if something is wrong with me and I choose to ignore the fact that there was still an empty space unfilled. That part was found and filled by Emily. It's like, with her, something falls into place, and she suddenly completes me. It might seem odd to feel that way for a person I hardly ever hung out with but for the times I am with her, the dozens of conversations we strike up effortlessly and playfully, it's just this indescribable grand feeling in my chest that I can only equate that to happiness every time we collide.

"Thanks mom. I'll try."

"Anytime love. I'll be getting to bed now, sleep tight." She gave me another kiss on the head and went upstairs, leaving me by myself again.

I felt like a little weight has been shifted off me after talking to my mom. I think I'll do it; I'll have Emily as a friend even though it's going to be hard. It'll take a while, but I'll get there.

_I worry I wont see your face light up again._

* * *

><p>I decided to ask James to chill out with me after school today, to just like, be in his company like old times, because he gives me that kind of ease and comfort and friendship that I get being with him. Well I get that too with Emily but I can't possibly ask her out, not yet anyway, I'll get to it. Also I know he has been slightly worried about me as I had "disappeared" from him for the past few days, replying short texts and keeping to myself. I kind of crave his company, like he's the constant and unchanging anchor where I can feel things are still the same even when they're not.<p>

I spotted him down the hall after our last class of the day. He was in a different class.

"James," I caught up with him, "Wanna go somewhere to chill?"

"Now?" He question and looked unsure. He turned his head around to someone behind him, to _Emily_, that was just behind him. How did I not notice her behind? I can seriously be kind of blindsided most of the time.

_Out of the doubt that fills my mind  
>I somehow find that you and I collide.<em>

My heart stopped, and sped up again instantly because I'm now face to face with the girl that I've so desperately wanted to see, yet avoided like I didn't. My eyes flicked quickly over her and I can't help solidify that silent acknowledgement to myself that I did like what I saw. Her hair, half tied up into a ponytail with her fringe swept cleanly away from her eyes. Her clothes, a pair of tight fitting jeans and a huge comfortable hoodie. Okay, that doesn't look fantastic but I really liked it anyway. Her face, flawless. She was looking at me with a small smile, dark brown eyes locked onto mine. I didn't want to take my eyes away from her.

"Hi." She breathed out, her smile pulled wider and I found my mouth tugging up in an attempt to match hers.

"Hey." I wanted to say more to her, but I didn't know how because the next line I would have said was to tell her how beautiful she looked and that just would not be appropriate.

"Yeh, actually Emily an' I are gonna get some lunch and hang out. You… wanna come with us?" James asked. He looked at Emily, as if urging her to agree with him.

"Yeah Naomi, join us?" She asked, sounding hopeful. At least that's what I think it sounded.

I felt a bite of jealousy. Why is James, my best mate, hanging out with Emily? I hadn't even seen them communicate much after school. I'm supposed to be closer to Emily, not him. James looked a bit sheepish, the kind of look that I recognized on him as though he had been caught doing something he wanted to be kept a secret. As though, he wanted to be alone with – Fuck, no – it can't be that he…

I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to suppress the growing surge of jealousy in me. I looked from James to Emily and back to James. Could James be the boy that Emily had fancied, the one that she told me that she liked his eyes? James shifted awkwardly under my stare and Emily fidgeted and blushed shyly. _Seven hells!_

I felt my head starting to spin; this sudden realisation of information is making me feel nauseous and overwhelmed.

"Erm, no," I cleared my throat, "I – I've got basketball practice later." I thought I probably saw Emily's face fall. Probably.

James frowned, "But yer just ask me if I wanted to chill wif ya."

"Well I forgot – slipped my mind about practice…" I wanted to flee from this scene right now. "Gotta go now."

"Call yer later okay?"

"No – yeah – anything." I muttered.

I left the pair of them as I pushed blindly past students with a thin film of water starting to cloud my eyes and a crushing pain in my chest.

_Don't stop here  
>I've lost my place<br>I'm close behind._

* * *

><p>Perspiration dotted my brow as I practiced my final few shots before the match started. I could feel I wasn't in my best form to date. Over the past few practices, I hadn't been shooting well nor feeling match-ready at the moment. But I couldn't let it show, as captain, you've got to show strength for the team even if you're weak.<p>

This time, we're up against a fairly strong team. Last year we played against them and they were a rough and tough one. We narrowly won that match and they weren't too happy about that. We had bruises from that match from all their underhand pushing and shoving. Needless to say we were given more free throws. That's how we managed to pull ahead.

I especially disliked their center, this tall girl with long black hair. Her name's Mandy. She's probably almost half a head taller than me and when she raises her hands in defense, her arms go way longer than anyone, like an orangutan. It's kind of frightful but it works well. The main thing is that because she's not fast enough, she uses methods like bumping and obstruction to dispossess us. It doesn't not work all the time and she gets called for a foul but it kind of breaks our flow and it frustrates us.

"Come on girls, come together!" Coach Anthea clapped her hands for attention.

We huddled together, arms around each other. We do this every time before a match. It gives us this togetherness in one spirit and mind, and it boosts our confidence. I instinctively tightened my grip on them.

"Listen. That team's gonna be rough. They're gonna bump you – push you – frustrate you, but you're not gonna let it get to you – because you're much better than them. You've practiced hard. You're good. I want you to go out there and own it – and show it to them you don't have to play dirty to win. You play with your heart." She placed her hand in the middle and we followed suit, piling our hands up on top of each other's.

"Rounders!" We pushed our hands down and yelled in a cohesive unison, tapping our palm on our own heart after that.

I looked up at the stands, knowing James would be at the same place he usually sits. I knew Emily should be sitting with him now, which she was, of course. I witnessed Emily taking a sip from a straw from a cup James was holding for her. I'm assuming they're together now. I wanted to scream so badly in annoyance, march right up to them and strangle James with my hands. But – I shouldn't think like this because as his best mate, I should be happy for him if he's found a girl he likes and makes him happy. I should pat him on the back, congratulate him on an excellent find and share his happiness.

I must be staring a tad too long again as James was suddenly waving excitedly at me and showing me a thumbs up. Emily was also smiling broadly at me and clapping, looking gorgeous in the school colours. I nodded and managed to flash a feeble smile and wave back before turning away and catching Mandy's eye. She looked at me, with a smirk on the face that resembled nothing like the ones Effy does, and raised an eyebrow in a condescending way. I bristled inwardly, biting my lip and turning by back towards her, closing my eyes, settling my mind and tuning my concentration back to the match ahead. I mustn't let something like that unsettle me.

_Play with your heart._ Anthea's words floated into my mind. My eyes snapped open, this time alert and determined. I looked down at my well-worn basketball shoes, the gift from my mom, a reminder like she's almost here, cheering me. My mouth twitched into a quick smile and just like that, my confidence was restored. I was surrounded by people that believed in me.

I was ready.

.

.

The third quarter started and we were just a point down, fifty to fifty-one. It wasn't a big problem. Our scores were always pretty close since the match started. We'd lead by two points but they'll come back with a three-pointer, or we'll lead again by a three-point play. It's all rather exciting for the audience but deep in us we knew we couldn't let anything fuck up. It was stressful but I was riding on the adrenaline, soaking the pressure up.

We hadn't been collecting too many fouls from the other team. Apparently they had changed their tactic and had taken to marking each of us rather well. We were still able to handle them due to our nimble footwork and lightning fast changes in direction.

The ball was in my hands and once again one of them was on me in an instant. I quickly did a three-sixty pivot turn around her and managed to outpace her, hurtling down the right flank of the court before looking up and passing it to Cindy on the left flank. Suddenly out of nowhere, a long arm stretched out and intercepted the ball. Mandy's fucking long orangutan arm. Angry shouts rang throughout the stadium.

"Fuck." I managed to muffle my indignation as I hastened to get back into defense.

Kate was first to get to her but the girl had passed the ball to another player that was unguarded and she finished it with another two points.

I raised my hand up to Cindy in apology for not looking carefully as to whether she was guarded. Damn it. I shouldn't be getting too careless. Now we're three points down.

We restarted again with Kate bringing the ball up. I dodged my defender and ran out to receive the pass at the edge of the three-point line. I raised my hands, my body in a stance pretending to shoot. Another defender was instantly jumped in front of me with her arms raised in an attempt to block my shot. I lowered my hands quickly and did a bounce pass, past the defender's left to Ashley who collected my pass. My defender spun around and went for her, leaving me free. Mandy was on her too, she was getting out numbered soon.

"Ash!" I shouted.

I was still hovering at the three-point line. She whipped her head in my direction and flung the ball out to me. I was still unguarded but I only had a heartbeat to think before I was swamped. Admittedly, three-pointers weren't my specialty, I was better at creating play. But this was a chance to get our score level, I couldn't pass it up.

Taking a deep breath, I took a brief aim at the hoop and released the ball out of my hands; every bit of me yearning for it to get in yet hoping someone from my team would be able to catch the rebound if it didn't.

I shouldn't need to worry so much as it fell right through the hoop with a decent_ plop _sound. A round of cheers and loud thumping exploded around the stadium. I was ecstatic and hopped a little in joy. We had a long way to go but this certainly boosted our confidence by a bit. At least we were level now.

"Sweet." Ashley and I fist bumped.

We had no time to slack because the other team had started on their attack again. We were back to defense. They had attempted a three-pointer with an aim to pull ahead but the girl missed and it rebounded off the board. There was a flurry of hands in the air under the net; the ball never specifically landing in anyone's but was being tossed frantically about – and fuck yes, Shannon managed to get possession of it, flinging the ball out to me.

I had to break fast since most of them were still behind me. I tore down the middle, dribbling as fast and deftly as I do and I realise I was being met by an opposing player. Mandy was a few steps in front of me in a crouching stance, arms and legs stretched out in defense, anticipating my every move. I was not going to let anything hold me up, especially not this ape. If I moved left or right, she'd be able to read me and disrupt my flow. There was only one thing I could think of.

I continued head on towards her and before I was about to knock into her, I switched the ball to my left hand and bounced it through her open legs in one fluid motion. Shouts and laughter rang out again as I sidestepped her and chased after the loose ball, retrieved it and performed a well-practiced layup, getting the ball through the hoop and getting two points.

Cheers resounded throughout the stadium again. Man I can get used to this. The sound of cheering, people shouting your name, my coach shouting in approval, and Emily jumping in excitement.

One thing I must congratulate myself is my ability to think of Emily subconsciously and somehow just instinctively spotting her out of the throngs of people she's surrounded with. Her red hair definitely helps, powered with my awesome eyesight. Seems I have a few good skills; getting balls through legs, shooting hoops and Emily-spotting.

I turned and saw Mandy looking at me with a scowl. I raised my eyebrow and arranged my face in an attempt to appear smug and condescending to further infuriate her. It must have worked as she narrowed her eyes and her scowl deepened making her look more ape-ish. I don't ever taunt players from the opposing team nor flaunt their fuckups in their face, but for Mandy it was different, she was the one that appeared hostile and maleficent from the start. I was just giving her her own bitter pill.

I know I shouldn't be celebrating too early since we're just in the third quarter but I was just beside myself from successfully accomplishing a brilliant maneuver.

Suddenly within the next few minutes, the pace of the game changed. It was faster and a lot more physical. Underhand shirt tugging and blatant obstruction started to take place. Sure we got some free throws but we were being roughed up quite a bit. Every time when one of us got the ball and started dribbling, we'd be immediately tightly surrounded by players, leaving not much space to create play or pass the ball. That made us pass the ball much faster than we could read each other's movements, thus leading to error, causing a few turnovers. We were down by three points again.

It was our turn to start, with Kate bringing up the ball again. She dribbled quickly, outpacing a defender before cutting in from the left. Immediately two players surrounded her but she managed to do a weak bounce pass to me, which I thankfully collected. Someone was marking me again but I started dribbling, trying to get away from the defender and nearer to the net. Realising that there was a bit more space to the right; I switched the ball to my left hand and feigned an attack on the left, forcing my way through as legally as possible before changing my direction to the right.

That worked. I confused my defender for a second and got a decent enough space ahead of me to perform a layup but I had to get closer to the hoop. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw one of the other players advancing towards me but I was getting close enough to shoot. My legs geared into position as I lifted off, body in midflight, my eyes fixed on the target spot, my right arm raised with the ball in my hand, stretching and flicking my wrist to release the ball.

I felt something hard collide into me from my side as my eyes watched the ball deflect off the top corner of the box and into the net. It was more than just a bump but a rather seemingly intentional and impactful one.

I stretched my left leg out to brace my fall as I landed, my full weight in that moment, was supported by that leg. I was trying to keep myself upright and on my feet but the inertia proved too great and I stumbled forward, grazing my right knee and elbow in the process.

The shrill whistle sounded and angry shouts echoed around the stadium. I looked up and saw my teammates surrounding Mandy, gesturing furiously. Shannon, who was about Mandy's height, had her forehead almost bumping into Mandy's as she rained words at her. Coach and referee stepped in and separated them before a potential fight broke out. The referee was having a word with Mandy who looked entirely nonchalant and disinterested. That fucking ape must have intentionally collided into me. The crowd was making a hell lot of noise right now, mostly loud boos and jeers and occasional audible profanities.

I dusted my grazed knee and blew on my elbow before attempting to heave myself up. The skin had just torn but it wasn't deep enough, so the pink flesh hadn't appeared but I knew it was going to hurt in water. I propped up my left knee to push myself up but a sudden sharp but dull pain rippled just behind the left knee causing me to stumble back down with a grimace, clutching the offending part with my hand.

This was odd. I gingerly stretched my leg out but was met by a pain that was more biting that the first. I reckoned I must have not done my stretching properly before the match. I tried putting my leg straight out again and reached my hand to my foot, thinking I could like, stretch out the pain and it'll be okay. It usually works. But the pain remained and possibly increased. _Maybe if I stood, it would be better._

"Need a hand?" Cindy held hers out to me. I grabbed hers and pulled myself up, this time with my right leg.

I shifted some weight onto my left leg, testing and placing it on the floor, trying to straighten it out. Pain shot through my body, causing me to shut my eyes and scrunch up my face. _No I can't be injured right now. I need to finish this game. Probably if I start running, it'll go away. _

"Are you alright? Are you hurt?" Cindy asked, her eyes flicking concernedly at my knee and elbow.

I huffed, "Yeah I'm fine. Just need to stretch a bit." The stubborn side of me refused to succumb to weakness even though every tiny increase in pressure on my leg was emitting bursts of pain.

The whistle blew again and I was given a free throw. I hobbled up, with much difficulty to the free throw line and took the ball thrown at me.

I forced my leg straight, wincing inwardly, and formed my stance. Blocking out the throbbing pain at my knee and the escalating noise from the crowd, I performed my pre-freethrow routine, twirling the ball on my finger and bouncing it a couple of times before uncurling my spine and flicking the ball up towards and into the hoop, completing a three-point play.

It was a relief the ball went in because I wasn't feeling myself when I took the shot. The pain distracted me and I feared I wasn't shooting the way I usually practiced. But I didn't have time to dwell on that because the game started again and the ball was already at the other half court.

I started to run, thinking I could outrun the pain and it'll disappear but another different pain ripped through me. This time it was searing, like a white-hot burning pain tearing and gnashing through my sensory system. I cried out and grabbed my knee, as I fell spectacularly to the floor. I knew it was bad this time. Never have I had such distress and discomfort over a small ache. This had to be a serious one.

I shut my eyes and bit my lip as I grabbed onto my knee, desperately trying to keep the pain at bay but it wasn't working, and every slight movement was killing me.

A mass of bodies surrounded me, hands gently pushing me to lie down. Lots of people were talking at once, either to me or at each other but I couldn't make out a single word. My whole being was invested in the pain.

There was a close shout somewhere, "Give me some space!"

A pair of rubber-gloved hands were touching my face and calling for my attention.

"Naomi. I need you to relax." A calm voice spoke into my ear.

My muscles and body were tensed up. I opened my eyes a fraction and saw that our medic was crouching beside me. I had nothing to worry. He'd fix me up properly and the pain would go away and I could continue playing. I nodded a little in acknowledgement and he turned his attention to my leg, spraying something on it that was bringing a cooling sensation.

I lolled my head to the side as I tried to relax, feeling the cool of the spray sooth the pain a little.

"I'll need to get her off the court." I heard the medic speak to someone else, probably coach.

The medic strapped me up and unknown hands quickly lifted and put me on a stretcher. It was then I realised I couldn't continue to play. I saw two people from afar running down the stairs onto the court towards me. I couldn't quite make them out but I saw a flash of red before I shut my eyes and brought my arms over my face trying to shut out the pain.


	12. Unrequited Love

Sorry for the wait and thank you for your lovely reviews **Alice Boricua, djyxa, els, gumyumgirl, Beck89, fakevegan, ShiraNation, sexpistols, StayAwayMisery, sxe fiend, kg, fleetingcourage, fookyeahskins, M, Tallentedgurl92, CrystalKR1, spikie142003, mUfF MuNcHeR, Crevette, frostythesnowgirl3 and dourememberthat (PM).** It's also nice to read your injury experiences and what you like to see happening. :) Cheers to the new reviewers and those that never leave reviews and left one for me, it means a lot. It always makes me anxious when I write a lot of basketball in a chapter, scared of alienating the non-sporty people but you guys have been really great in letting me know you've enjoyed it.

Unfortunately work is piling up and an exam is around the corner so…

I didn't know last chapter was a cliffhanger. Honest.

Don't know if you'd like this one, bit tough writing the fluency for this but I'd love to hear your views. Makes finding time to write the next chapter worth it.

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><p><strong>Chapter Twelve – Unrequited Love<strong>

**Emily**

I stood with my hand covering my mouth in shock as I witnessed Naomi get knocked to the floor by that tall centre from the opposite team. That was completely intentional and probably everyone in the stadium saw her intentions before she knocked Naomi down. Everyone except Naomi herself, apparently. Everyone around me was standing and yelling all sorts of obscenities, including James who was red with rage and shooting his mouth off with words like "fucking cunt" and "dirty cheating bitch." I would've yelled a few choice words myself but I was intently watching and hoping Naomi wasn't hurt, that she'll be picking herself up soon.

She stayed on the floor for a worrying amount of time as her teammates surrounded that girl. I watched Naomi grimace as she stretched her legs.

"Oh no is she hurt?" I grabbed James' arm, getting his attention.

"I hope not." He replied seriously, shifting his attention back on his best mate. There was a concerned look on his face. "Go Naomi!" He bellowed, cheering her on. Cheers followed after his, raining encouragements down on her.

I watch her get helped up by her teammate, shaking her head and hobbling up to the line. She didn't look all right to me. That limping was worrying. _How can they let her continue? Can't anyone see that she's hurt?_ I wringed my hands in anxiety, a part of me wanted to run down and tell the coach that her captain is injured.

It looked like she was fine as the other thousand people in the stadium and myself held our breath as Naomi took the free throw and screamed in unison when it went in.

Then she fell after starting to run, clutching on to what seems to be the back of her knee.

My eyes widened in shock and I gasped loudly, tightly gripping James' arm, watching the scene unfold nightmarishly in front of me. There seemed to be a sudden hushed silence all around as all eyes were glued onto Naomi who was looking anguished with pain. All the players surrounded her, even those from the other team, except the tall girl and were trying to get her to lie on the floor. The school's medic team ran out with a bag and stretcher and I knew Naomi's injury was rather serious. I couldn't get a clear view of Naomi from here and I was desperately anxious, jittery and distraught.

"Do – do you think we can – go down to check on her?" Even my voice was wobbly.

"Yeh I think we're allowed?" James looked at me worriedly, "We're her best mates after all right?"

Well he was. Me? I'm not too sure but I can't be thinking about that now. I needed to just be there for her.

We shuffled our way out of our row past our group of friends and hurried down the flight of steps leading to the court before breaking to a small run towards her. Technically, I don't think we could just enter the court while the match was still going on but no one stopped us.

As I got closer, I saw Naomi's face had turned rather pale and she had her arms over her head. She looked like she was in a great deal of pain and that was just hurting me to see her like that. They carried her away in a stretched before I could get to her side.

"What happened to Naomi?" I caught up and asked the remaining medic that had stayed back and had a word with the coach.

"It looks like she's pulled her hamstring."

"Is it serious?"

"From the way she went down and my first assessment, I think it could be a grade two or grade three strain. I can't confirm anything right now, not before we've given her a thorough checkup but she isn't gonna be able to play for quite a while."

A grade two or grade three strain? What does that even mean? But I knew I didn't like the sound of that one bit. And Naomi not being able to play for a while? That would definitely crush her. One thing I knew about Naomi is that she couldn't not play basketball. It is part of her; it is what she's made of; that's what she did best. I looked at James who had a grim look on his face, noting that that was indeed bad news.

We lost by a handful of points. The team sure put up a good fight till the end but we still couldn't beat them. The substitute wasn't as good as Naomi but they did their best. I just can't imagine how Naomi would react knowing that her team lost and that she wouldn't be able to play for a while. I still had my fingers crossed, hoping her injury wouldn't turn out as bad as it sounded. Maybe it'll just take a couple of weeks before she can be up and running.

.

.

That night I sat at my computer and did a bit of research, not on my current pending assignment but on hamstring injuries. I wanted to know everything about it, the type of injury, the severity of it, recovery techniques and the length of recovery.

I typed 'hamstring injury' in the Google search bar and clicked the first result that loaded on the page. My eyes scanned the page as I took in the information.

"Grade two tears are partial ruptures… Grade three, complete rupture…" I muttered as I read the words, getting more alarmed as I continued reading. "With more severe injury, swelling and a black and blue or bruised appearance will follow… palpable defect present in the muscle… tears and strains most often occur at the middle of the back of the thigh…"

I clutched my face in horror and clicked frantically, searching for treatments for such a tear.

"Rest. Ice. Compression. Elevation. Grade two injury… four to six weeks, complete ruptures… approximately three months. Three months!" I exclaimed loudly. I really hoped hers wasn't a grade three injury. Naomi would have to go through so much pain and rehabilitation just to get healed.

No matter what, I am determined to be there for her, by her side when she starts her treatment step by step. I hope we can put aside whatever that happened between us this couple of weeks and she'd let me be there for her.

The thing is, I don't think I can ever forget it. I can't forget that vivid image of her parted lips as she leaned close to me, or the way she fleetingly brushed her lips against mine and kissed me. Neither could I forget how she fled after that, saying that it was a mistake. I think about it occasionally, almost obsessively, even though it brought me nothing but sadness, confusion and an ambulance load of pain.

But I can't think about this now. Though it also hurts me that Naomi was avoiding me all week, I'm still concerned about her. You know that feeling that even though the person you secretly like suddenly doesn't treat you too nicely, you still want the best for her and hope she treats you nicely again. Yeah so I want to be there for her in every way.

_Yeah Naomi, you won't be able to run away from me._ I turned off my computer and lay in my bed wishing tomorrow would hurry up so I'd be able to really find out about Naomi's condition.

* * *

><p>The day at school could not pass any slower. I barely could pay any proper attention in class. My mind was just going on and on about visiting Naomi in the hospital after school. The principal had announced in the hall that Naomi had injured herself and would be away from school for at least a week.<p>

A week? I thought grade two or three strains took weeks to heal. _Maybe Naomi's injury was less serious!_ I brightened up at the possible fact, somehow feeling very relieved that she'd be up running and playing basketball again. I knew it would mean a lot to her and it means a lot to me that she's fit and happy. I still do care about her even though she's been treating me rather rubbishy. I don't know what is this between us but I can't let that be a wedge between our friendship. This isn't the time to think about myself.

Later after school, I met James. We agreed to pay Naomi a visit at the hospital. The principal didn't say students could visit but I reckoned we'd be allowed right? I know that if I was lying in the hospital, I'd like to be surrounded by the ones I loved. I don't know if Naomi _loved_ me as a friend, like how I do, like how I love her even more than a friend but I guess being surrounded by people that care about you should bring your spirits up.

I didn't really know what to bring as a get-well gift for her so I bought a small fruit basket and a magazine. We took as bus there.

Getting to the hospital lobby, we approached the lady at the reception desk for registration. Apparently they're quite strict on visitors coming in and out.

"Hello, we're here to visit Naomi Campbell. May I know which room she's at?" I asked politely.

"Just a moment please," The lady typed something into the computer. "She's at room four-o-two. However… Naomi did have a special request. She requested that only certain people could be allowed to visit her."

Both James and my eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Wha'd'ya mean miss? We can't visit her?" James frowned.

"She doesn't want people visiting her but she did say…" The lady checked the computer again, "That Gina Campbell, which is her mother, James Cook, Elizabeth Stonem and Freddie McClair are allowed in. I suppose you are Elizabeth then."

I opened and shut my mouth, words failed to materialize and I completely and utterly failed to give a convincing response that I could be Elizabeth. Why wouldn't Naomi put down my name in the visitors list? Was I not as important to her as the others? This unexpected situation stunned me and hit me hard.

"Yeh she's Elizabeth. I'm James." James came to my rescue.

"Oh alright," the lady replied a little unconvincingly, "Could you show me your IDs please, for registration purposes."

I gulped. We were caught. I didn't have a choice.

"Um… I'm not Elizabeth." I confessed while James pulled out his ID card and was handed a visitor's pass.

"I'm sorry then. It was requested by Naomi herself, I'm just following the patient's request."

"But Emily's her girlfriend." James interrupted urging me with his eyes to go along with it.

I think I would have been ecstatic if that sentence held any semblance of truth or just the thought of it would spark delightedness in me. But it wasn't. It was a lie, an untruth, an impossibility. I stood listless, uncommunicative, and downcast, obsessing over my newfound information.

"Oh I'm still sorry love, I'm just going by the rules. Maybe your girlfriend um – forgot to put your name? Maybe James could have her word with her. I'll gladly let you visit her when she gives the approval." The lady smiled kindly at me. "Perhaps you can wait at the sitting area while he goes up?"

"Thank you miss." James led me to the sofas at the sitting area.

"Wait here fer me eh Emily? I'll go up an' knock tha' lil twat's head for fergettin' to put yer name down."

I smiled a little at that. "Don't hit her, she's already injured – just," I lacked of words to continue. "Thank you," I simply said.

"Be back soon." James reached out his hand and tucked some hair behind my ear, gave a tiny smile, carried the fruit basket and hurried away.

I slumped down on a single seat sofa, resting my head on the backrest and hugged my bag close to my chest.

_Why would she do that? Forget me. Was it unintentional? Probably._ I should stop over analyzing or worrying unnecessarily.

But it hurt. To think that I thought we had something between us, something that was at least friendship, the very bottom line of our relationship. It hurt that it could be wishful thinking on my part. It hurt that she didn't feel the same way. It hurt like how you realise the person you fancied didn't care for your existence in their life. It hurt.

Ten minutes passed. Then fifteen minutes passed. Then I stopped counting. It was a blur.

I began to people-watch. A few people were in the waiting area, flipping distractedly at magazines, texting on their phone. I wondered if they were like me, forgotten by the patients they care for.

I rubbed my eyes, exhausted. The energy that was once there had dissipated. I was discombobulated. I didn't know how long I had waited but the waiting was unsettling me and eating me up.

"Emily."

James had appeared beside my sofa without me even noticing.

"Why did you take so long? Did you see Naomi? Is she okay? Can I see her?" I bombarded him with anxious questions.

"Yeh," he placed his hand behind his head and scratched it awkwardly, like he was struggling to find words. Carefully chosen words.

"Naoms is fine – had a lil chat wif her. Bit of a grouch tho'. She hurt her leg an' the doc said it's pretty bad."

My mouth fell open in shock. "But – I mean how long will she take to recover?"

He tilted his head for a glance at me, "Says it's 'bout two to three months? But she can't get back to playing immediately. Gotta let them muscles heal properly."

From what I recalled from my research, her injury seems to be the serious one, like a grade three. I can't wait to get up there and see her, comfort her, tell her it's going to be fine after she recovers. I can't imagine how devastated she would be. I want to be there for her when she gets out of the hospital and if she can't walk, I'll volunteer to be her human crutch.

"Can I see her? How long will she stay here?"

"Think they're gonna keep her here fer a week. They got her leg all strapped up an' iced an' placed up now."

James wasn't answering my initial question. It was like he was deliberately ignoring it.

"Can I see her?" I pressed.

His eyes briefly met mine but he dropped them back on his thighs. "Eh Naoms doesn't want anymore people visitin' her – says she's in no state now."

My heartbeat flat lined. I bit my lip trying to control the increasing confusion and gush of surging emotions that were threatening to spill.

"Did – did you say I'm here?" I stammered out.

"Yeh, but she said she aint wantin' too many people visitin'," he shrugged. "Say's she wants ta be alone. Pretty grouchy but – don't blame her," he looked at me again, this time with sincerity in his eyes, "must be 'bout her leg."

I nodded. It didn't make sense. What has her injured leg got anything to do with not letting me visit her? She was avoiding me, for fuck knows what reason. Why would she do this to me? Why the fuck does she have such an impact on me?

I was angry. I care so fucking much about her yet she doesn't seem to care for it or appreciate it. I was sad because I cared. Too fucking much.

"Hey I'll come back tomorrow an' talk to her 'bout lettin' yer up okay?"

I shook my head. I was done caring, well I wish I was, but I've gotta start somewhere.

"It's okay, just – take care of her okay?" I managed to quell my bottled sadness.

He nodded and we left the hospital. I didn't return again.

* * *

><p>The next week passed slowly, painfully, achingly, tepidly. I filled my after school activities by mainly doing loser activities, like helping out in the library or just heading home and completing assignments. For the past few weeks, it had been filled with meeting up with Naomi to tutor her or watch her during her basketball practice. These days now feel empty, a string of idle monotones days. JJ got himself a pretty girl called Lara, Panda and Thomas are very much inseparable, and myself? Nothing much going on for me to be honest.<p>

James visits Naomi almost everyday when he doesn't have his football practice and I'm not too close enough with Effy and Freddie to hang out with them. He walks me to classes when he can and calls up to check on me occasionally. It's nice, you know, to be treated like a proper friend; something no one would ever figure James was capable in that.

I tried not to ask James about Naomi. Of course I'm burning with curiosity on her progress but I just didn't want to _know_ anything about her, if you know what I mean. Out of sight and out of mind. Maybe I can forget the part that I like her. But James does slip me little details about her during those walks to classes. Like how the swelling has reduced, or how she's grumbling about getting sick of hospital food, or that she's going to be discharged at the end of the week.

I'm not longer mad at her, or sad, well less mad and sad. I'm looking forward to her return back to full fitness and playing the game again. I want and hope happy Naomi back in my life again. Maybe if she fully recovered, she'd revert back to the Naomi I knew and we'd restart all over again. I'm allowed to hope for things like that aren't I?

.

.

It was only the week after Naomi was discharged that she finally came back for classes. It was all rather obvious actually, in a sense that we were informed that there has been a reassignment of classrooms to accommodate Naomi's injury. All her classes had been shifted to the first level so she didn't need to climb the stairs.

As usual, Monday was our morning math class. I hurried along the hallway, wondering if she was really going to finally turn up. It's been two contactless weeks. Not a text or a call. Do you know how agonising that is? It was like she disappeared from my life without a trace. I was trying to get used to it.

I hasten my pace, scanning my head looking for Naomi who was nowhere in sight. Katie was striding in front of me, thankfully, completely oblivious to what I was doing.

I wrenched open the class door and my eyes instantly fell on James and Naomi. They were already seated at their usual seats. Apparently they had arrived much earlier than me. My heart did an involuntary flutter as I came face to face with Naomi. It's been so long since I'd seen her or even have the prospect of talking to her. It was almost like the first time where I was properly introduced to her in the very same class; shy, tongue-tied, awkward, in awe, swooning, I experienced all of the above again. Déjà vu.

"Hi." I said to both of them. "You're back." I could stop myself from breaking in to a genuine and relieved smile even though I was internally kicking myself for such a lame question.

"Yeah." Naomi replied with a smile, equally warm yet reserved. That would suffice. That was a start.

"My girl's tough." James ruffled Naomi's hair affectionately earning him a mock glare for messing up her effortlessly tousled hair.

She still looked beautiful. Probably even radiant. Her shoulder length tousled blonde hair remained as resplendent as I'd remembered, flawless skin, perfect cheekbones with slightly pink cheeks and heart stopping crystal blue eyes that had captured my heart from the very first time I saw her. It was like forgetting all the unhappiness that she had caused me and liking her all over again. Just like that. I was usurped, captured, undone, temerity of putting my heart in her hands again. A captive. A prisoner. I couldn't escape. If I could I'd surely walk away, but I'm just such a sucker for her, who was I kidding.

She was wearing a navy half-zipped blue hoodie over a white v-neck t-shirt and a pair of black knee length tapered shorts. A pair of crutches was leaning against the wall. I almost forgot about her injury.

"How – how's your leg?" I asked, a bit timidly.

"Getting better, I guess." She replied with a smaller smile and I nodded.

There was an awkward pause. "Okay I'll just – " I gestured at my seat with a lack of words. _Just how did it get so damn awkward?_

"I'll see ya later okay?" James cut in. I think I saw Naomi's face fall. Probably. Maybe I was just seeing things. I dare not trust my judgment; I never can be quite sure with it comes to Naomi anymore.

"Sure." I returned with a warm smile.

.

.

"Naomi – Emily – could you please come to the front." Angie called out right after the class ended. "I mean, Emily, come over to Naomi's table."

This felt familiar. It was as though I was going back in reverse, a replay on my own life to my initial proper encounter with Naomi. Was there a possibility? Again?

I nervously made my way to the front, slowly and haltingly. Naomi sat bewildered as she turned her head to look at me. Her eyes travelled up the full length of my body. I don't know what to make of it but self-consciousness crept up to me. I turned into an awkward ambling creature, like I didn't know how to place my hands as I walked or whether I was walking gracefully enough or whether my hair was in place. It was like back to square one of first impressions and first dates although this was nothing like that. I did put a little effort into my outfit though, wearing my favourite skirt and cardigan, with a conscious awareness that Naomi liked this style and that there was a possibility of meeting her today.

Our gazes collided, through space and time, with brevity. She cleared her throat and turned away and I blushed. It's incidents like this that let me believe that there was still something more to both of us. It was only leading me on when the affections here are one-sided, like I was a stuntman willingly putting myself out there knowing I'd get hurt if I'm not careful.

"Emily, as you know, Naomi's just come back from a good rest and has two weeks of studies to catch up. Now I know you're a brilliant student, not that Naomi you're not," Angie smiled kindly at Naomi, "but I was hoping you could help Naomi catch up on what she's missed. Since you've helped her out before, I'm sure there will be no problem for you to do it again. Yes?"

"Oh fucking hell not again." Naomi exclaimed, scrunching her face up and pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Well if Naomi wants…" I trailed off, feeling upset over Naomi's reaction. It hurts me to feel like I was causing her some form of misery when she was studying with me.

"It's settled," Angie stated more firmly to Naomi, "You're going to take your finals this year and you'll need all the help you can get from Emily which I remember you improving vastly with her help. Emily doesn't mind, do you dear?"

I shrugged and shook my head, hearing a scuffled grumble escape from Naomi's throat. I didn't dare to look at her; I was afraid to see her expression, the dread of being unwillingly thrown into this with me.

"Very well!" Angie seemed to be convinced from our unintelligible acknowledgement, "I'll leave you both to sort your schedules out." And with that, she left us to an empty classroom all by ourselves.

I turned to Naomi, "You don't have to – you know – um, do lessons with me. I'm sure someone else could do it with you – someone you're more comfortable with…" I mentally prepared myself for her to agree with that. I could understand if she chose someone because it's just become weird between us.

"Don't be silly – it's just…" She faltered, her eyes falling everywhere but mine. I waited for her to finish. I wanted to know what's really on her mind. There was something there I can't fathom, something perturbing her that I wished she'd tell me. "Nothing." She ended, her eyes betraying her words as they failed to portray 'nothing'. She took a breath; I sighed inwardly. "Well, best if I should start making my way to the next class," she abruptly changed the topic, "since I'll be pretty much the slowest person around here for a while." I noted a faint annoyance in her tone that was present in her attempt to sound perfectly fine.

Naomi hoisted herself up with her hands on the table, her right leg supporting all her weight. She slipped her bag pack on, which I noticed she had changed from a sling bag to it, and reached out and grabbed her crutches, propping herself right up.

"Need help with anything?" I wished I could just do something to make her feel better. I know this injury's a blow to her, being less mobile and needing to depend on people to get things done. This wouldn't sit well with the Naomi I know who's independent and capable. I wanted to help her in everyway I could even though it could possibly annoy her or make it obvious that she needed help.

"Nah, just open the door for me. Can't really do that with these."

She swung her crutches forward and made her way to the door, hopping forward with her right leg. Her left leg wasn't bandaged but there was an unsightly big purple bruise on the back of her thigh. I was shocked. I'd seen pictures of it in the Internet but seeing the bruise on Naomi still took me aback and reminded me how real this is. It was an unsightly mark on her slender and muscled leg and it pained me to see that it was hurting her.

"Yeah it's ugly as fuck isn't it?" She turned her head back at me. I realised I hadn't moved. Springing forward, I opened the door and held it. "With luck I'll get back my leg and get scarred for life." The bitter tone was there again.

I bit my lip, choosing my words carefully. "I'm sure your leg would be okay." I replied as reassuringly as I could, as optimistic as I could manage. I just had to convince myself, both of us, as much as I could.

"You don't know that." She said quietly, more to herself, hobbling past me. I had no answer to that.

"I'll see you tomorrow after school yeah?" I called after her as she made her way in the opposite direction from where I was supposed to go.

I heard a faint reply and a resemblance of a nod as Naomi went her way without so much of a backward glance, leaving me watching her walk away from me. The corridor was filled with noises of the footsteps of a couple of passing students and the clinking of Naomi's crutches as the rubble sole insulating the metal crutches connected with the floor. It was a new foreign sound, something I couldn't get used to, which has now become associated with Naomi.

* * *

><p>I basked in the warm sun splaying across my face, the slight coolness of the air mingling with the rays. I took off my cardigan and kept it in my bag. The soft gust of wind trailing across my bare arms and fluttered carefree under my skirt. I leaned back on my hands and casually surveyed the mob of boys on the field, chasing after a football.<p>

I'm sitting on a bench beside the football field, watching James and Freddie play football with the other boys. I'd been to a few of their after school games for the last couple of weeks watching them play ever since Naomi got warded and because watching the basketball team train without Naomi wasn't enticing, I accepted the invitation from James to "hang out" with them when they play football.

It takes my mind off things. Plus, it isn't that boring as most girls make football out to be. It's about the same as basketball I reckon, just more people chasing after a ball but having a lower frequency in points or goals scored. It was also a great opportunity to strengthen my friendship with the both of them and according to Katie, meet fit guys on that play with them.

Well I guess there are a handful of good-looking ones, easy on the eye, great eye candy material and really fit bodies with abs and muscles. Just really Katie's type.

Today, I was back on the benches but this time it was different. I had an hour to kill as I was waiting for Naomi to finish her afternoon class, then I'll start my tutoring session with her. This was our first session, two days after Angie propositioned to me to tutor Naomi. I guess I am nervous so I took to watching the boys play. I'm nervous because I'm going to be alone with Naomi, again, and I really wished I wasn't actually anxious about that but the last time went terribly wrong.

Every time I come close to Naomi, my stomach just flips itself inside out, like it's signaling to me the effect Naomi has on me. It's not an unpleasant feeling. You know the kind of feeling when you see someone you fancy and you get all timid and shy and you act like a dork but inside of you is like bursting with excitement. I thought I was past the stage of being shy around Naomi but it seems like I've reverted to the pre-Naomi me. I just don't know how to act like I don't like her when I'm around her. And it's hard. I hate that I can't be less transparent about it.

James jogged up to me and another boy took his place. I snapped my thoughts out of my head. What happened to taking my mind off things when I was here? I realise that when I'm with James, I'm occupied with his company that I don't think about Naomi. I reckon that's why I need to be around him.

"Taking a break?" I asked a very sweaty James. His hair was matted and his shirt drenched with perspiration.

He nodded, guzzling greedily on his water bottle and sat down. He pulled his shirt over his head revealing his muscled arms and a lean body with rock hard abs, and started to wipe himself with a towel. Nothing I haven't seen before. I'd watch him play before remember? Though the first time was slightly awkward on my part but I got used to it.

"Hot day." He toweled furiously, ruffling his hair violently with the towel making it all stick up oddly but in a boyish way. I giggled a little and reached over, soothing the hairs that stuck up. It was like this with James, I had gotten comfortable with him. He's fast becoming my closest male friend after JJ.

We sat in a comfortable silence, enjoying the breeze, casually watching the game. It was also times like this that I wished I could have with Naomi. I really miss having her presence in my life.

"What?" I had noticed James throwing brief glances at me, looking as though he wanted to say something.

He shook his head and gave a little smile, looking away, like he was looking at nothing in particular that was far away.

Something was up. He looked a little uneasy and fidgety, swallowing nervously and pursing his lips. I couldn't figure out why he was behaving in this way but I knew better to not ask.

A gust of wind blew and I brushed my hair away from my face and tucked it behind my ear as I crossed my legs, not encouraging the wind to lift my skirt up.

"What'd'ya consider as dating?"

That was random. I looked at him, judging him on whether he was serious. He was.

"I think – it's when – like a couple is together, then they're dating. Not like – just going on dates when they're not – you know, officially together."

That was my logic. It probably isn't the right one or considered rather stupid, but I guess I do have my own views on this. It's not dating to me when you "date" different people, trying out for the right one. To me that's just hanging out and eating out, enjoying the company of another. I haven't quite found the right word to coin that.

"Iwannadateyou."

"_What?_" I did a massive double take. It wasn't that I didn't hear what James said even though it was rolled out in a hurry but I couldn't quite believe what I'd heard. It wasn't that I needed to hear him repeat that to me.

"I want to date you, Emily." James repeated, slowly, enunciated, carefully, shyly but resolutely. He turned his head to look me in the eye, conveying to me that he had really meant what he said. We held eye contact for a few seconds before he dropped his head shyly and smiled to himself. I could feel myself blushing awkwardly as I let that information sink in. I was quite at a loss for words as I kept silent as the seconds chasing for a reply ticked by.

Maybe what I suspected a few weeks ago was true but it was something I had told myself to shut it out, dismiss, debate over possibilities and eventually render it false. It didn't seem even remotely possible James would have liked me, more than friends. At that time, I'd searched deep within myself, my emotions, and there's just something there, something there that's just not quite right. I would be flattered without a doubt, as I am now, as I'd never thought a boy would like me. That stuff only happens to Katie you know. But – there's this missing connection, that wrong jigsaw piece that's trying to fit itself in the wrong place, the kind of static that differentiates between a lover and the best friend. James was like the best friend that I loved but not quite how like I'd really love _the one_.

But then again I wasn't sure, I wasn't experienced, who knew this was part of the process of actually falling in love. It was different for everyone so I heard. Mine could just be this. I wasn't sure what it was with Naomi so I couldn't really count that as love.

I took a look at James, looking all hopeful and waiting for my reaction and reply. He was a good-looking lad, in fact he was rather charming and not really made out to be a playboy from what I heard. I was sure he would have not a problem in getting any girl he wants. Why me then?

I still didn't know how to reply him. My heart was beating frantically. I was torn between saying yes and betraying what I felt, and saying no and disappointing him. One thing's for sure, I've never dated a boy and James seemed like that only boy I'd be okay to try dating and maybe something good would come out of it, after all Naomi wasn't interested in me at all.

But I couldn't. As I tried to reply him, I realise I couldn't agree to him. Because this – crush – or thing with Naomi, was just still unsettled even though I'd convinced myself a million times that it had to end, it was still something to me. I wouldn't feel right if I said yes to James and know I didn't really mean it with him.

His hopeful expression fell a little after realising I was taking far too long for a reply.

"I'm sorry." I automatically said. I meant it. I felt like I was disappointing him in the way Naomi disappointed me.

"Why? Is there someone else?" He asked slowly, like he was gathering up his courage.

I shook my head uncertainly because there technically wasn't. There was nothing between Naomi and myself but it was then I realised the level of attraction wasn't in the same way when I was him as I was with Naomi.

"Is it Naomi?"

"No! Why'd you – that's just – No!" I exclaimed, in shock, stammering. Why would he think I liked Naomi? I mean yeah it was a little true, to a certain extent but how did he come to such a conclusion? Was I that obvious? Or what? I don't think I'd like James to have privy to that information about me fancying Naomi. Telling anyone else besides my circle of friends is like coming out to everyone. I'm not even sure I'm gay you know; I just like that one girl.

"Really?" He looked slightly unconvinced but didn't press on.

"You're my friend. My really, great, closest friend that I have now. And I really like you – but I'm sorry – it's just… " I didn't know how to end my sentence.

"Would you gimme a chance – to you know – go after you? As long as you're not taken, I won't back down." He asked hopefully again.

He was expectant. I didn't have the heart to reject him outright. Like I said, I wasn't even sure I didn't like him in that way given then lack of experience. Maybe he could be the one. After all, with my non-existent love life, what have I got to lose?

I shrugged and gave a tiny nod and his face broke into a smile. I gently cupped his face with the deftest of touches, leant over and gave him a tiny peck on the lips. It was all very friendly on my part but I had to know, if I had felt anything for him, a glimmer of something, anything that resembled a propensity to fall for him.

It was just that brief contact on that lips that lasted a bare second, a momentarily graze of lips. But that was enough. It felt nothing like how Naomi first kissed me in the shelter on my birthday even though that was just as brief. Not a surge of excitement ran through me, the kind I clearly remembered that tingled endlessly though my body and right down to my toes when Naomi kissed me. I didn't have the urge to kiss James properly, unlike how I fantasized about kissing Naomi again and again.

He had a grin on his face. This was bad, a wrong move. We couldn't be more than friends, something I'd be happy with that but will break his heart. I didn't want to break his heart, knowing that I couldn't return his affections; I definitely know that feeling of heartbreak. I didn't want to lead him on but I didn't know how to stop this from blowing up in my face.

Suddenly I heard metal clinking, the sound of slow, and heavily paced metal steps. And that sounded rather familiar.

I whipped my head around in a frantic movement and my eyes fell on Naomi a few feet away from me. She was slowly coming up from the ramp that leads from the school to the field and a scowl visibly present on her face.


	13. since feeling is first

So many mixed reviews and silent disapproval. But thanks to **gumyumgirl, MM, GilmoreRos, DNNHK, Alice Boricua, fookyeahskins, stphnyvillegas, fakevegan, Ms. StealYoGirl, Ujin, sookieheartsbill, i. have. lost. myself. again, gdsfsdf, MisguidedMegan, GreenPenguin **for leaving one.

Hope this one's okay, since this was in my mind from the start. It might not be perfect. I apologise for that.

Sometimes I look at chapter thirteen and wonder if it's the right one.

I tip my hat to edward estlin cummings for this. And again I apologise if this poem has been used before somewhere that I'm not aware of.

Exam's in a month's time. See you on the other side.

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><p><strong>Chapter Thirteen – since feeling is first<strong>

**Naomi**

I wasn't sure what I did was the right thing. I fucking hated myself, for being a twat, for using my injury as an excuse. It was not all untrue. I berated myself for being weak and succumbing to an injury, taking away what wholly makes me myself. Basketball was what I was great at and without it, I'm not great, ordinarily nothing, a ghost of myself. It's getting to me; I have to depend on crutches to walk, on people to open doors for me, for the school to reassign my classrooms to the first level; it's like I've become useless. I don't want that, I hate that. I wished they wouldn't make such a big deal about it.

Still that isn't an excuse to shut Emily out. I didn't want her to see me useless, immobile and incapable as I lay in the hospital bed. I didn't want any sympathy or any special treatment or to treat me as some fragile matter. I didn't need her to reassure me that everything's going to be fine. I just wanted everyone to treat this injury like it was nothing and maybe I could forget about it.

But I know she cared and that was enough. I was a fucking twat, a fool, and an asshole for behaving like that. I ran out of excuses for myself. Forgive me. I'm injured and I have my insecurities.

Do you know how hard it is to pretend like I didn't care for Emily? I just didn't want to feel so much for her. I was afraid that if she were perfect in every way, it'd only make it harder for me to walk away from her. It's hard to show that it didn't matter when James comes to visit every alternate day, going on and on about how he's been hanging out with Emily and reproaching me for not letting her visit when she cared about me. You think I don't want her there? I want her with me but I was afraid if she came with James, they'd act all loved up in the room and I'd have nowhere to run because I'm stuck in that fucking bed and I'd have to watch them, smile and be happy for them. At least when I'm up and mobile, I could avoid this situation. I'll gladly delude myself further.

In contrast to James, Effy visited twice and most of it was spent in silence. She asked no questions and never comforted me. Instead, she flipped through magazines as I flicked through channels on the telly as though we were doing the same thing at home. She hadn't even bothered when I had difficulty getting out of bed to get to the restroom. That was exactly what I need, to know I can handle this by myself.

Sighing, I slam my book shut and stuffed it into my bag. Fucking afternoon classes. They aren't doing a whole lot of good for me, more so when I can't seem to concentrate when my mind's preoccupied with thoughts concerning Emily and the idea of studying with her later.

I can't seem to extract her out of my life can I? I'll somehow, somewhere, find myself pulled into her atmosphere once again no matter how hard I try to eradicate myself. I'm like that tiny planet sitting at the edge of the solar system, distant, almost teetering, but still held there by some sort of magnetic force that I can't escape. What exactly is with her that makes me involuntarily revolve around her?

Not that I'm really complaining. I'm given another chance in my life to study with Emily, forced to study with her. Actually I should complain, protest or request for another person, after all, spending time with her will just make things hard for me, especially knowing that she's with James. Self-torture at it's finest. Oh the situations I put myself into. Just bollocks.

I whipped out my phone, planning on sending a text to Emily, informing her that my class has ended.

"Emily's at the field." Effy supplied.

Oh yeah, thank fuck Effy was sitting with me in the same class as me or I'd be bored out of my mind. Not like we speak a lot in class but it's nice to have her with me.

"What? Oh alright." I replied, a little surprised at the information from Effy. I didn't care asking how she knew. Who knows, they all could have gotten all chummy with each other during my absence.

"Come on, I'll walk with you – I'm meeting Freddie and James." She stood up and walked out, leaving me to hurry after her as quickly as I could.

_But of course._ I thought bitterly. Emily would be there at the field with James. Where else could she be for fuck sake. Suppressing my desire of grumbling out loud, I gritted my teeth and swung my crutches forward hobbling after her as quickly as I could.

"Could you like fucking slow down for a bit?" I shouted after Effy's back, which was going to be lost in the thickening crowd.

Effy stopped and turned around with a hint of a smirk on her face, which I met with a glare. Though I appreciate how she's treating me like I wasn't injured, her insensitivity was making me feel annoyed at what I lacked now.

"Slow poke." She said as I caught up with her.

"Oh fuck off." I nudged her with my crutch and a roll of my eyes.

We proceeded down the stairs, a little slowly on my part as I hadn't gotten the hang of stairs, past the gym and headed to those wide opened blue doors tucked below the stands that were the entrance to the football field. It was there that I saw her. Emily was sitting beside a very shirtless James on the bench.

My brow descended into a furrow and my mouth straightened into an annoyed line. They weren't really talking a lot, more of staring at nothing particular in the field. But the point is, James was seated barely a metre away from Emily. Okay maybe from my angle and distance, I can't really give the best estimate but I swear the distance between them is like a fucking half metre or something less.

The irrational green-eyed monster reared up inside of me, the one that popped up every once in a while to remind me that it's still residing in me. I wanted to shout, cause a commotion, a distraction, so I could increase their distance and separate them.

I stood, rooted to the spot, as I watched James turn his head ever so often to take a look at Emily. I couldn't exactly see his expression but it seemed like he was trying to say something, or at least thinking of how to say something. I know James. I recognise this. It's like he was nervous and this only happens when he's around a girl he likes. And Emily was turning her head to talk to him.

I heard a cough to my left. Shit, I forgot Effy was still here.

"Do you want to meet them or stay here and gawk over them?"

I wanted to leave, to head home and leave them to it even though I was supposed to study with Emily. I just can't do this, to pretend that it's not affecting me. I need more time to deal with this, to make it go away.

"No, just – "

I couldn't turn away. A question was burning in my throat. I thought James and Emily were together, but couples don't sit apart from each other. I mean if – if I was together with Emily, I'd make sure no visible distance was between us. I'd never let her be that far away from me. James' behaviour here was almost shy.

"Do you think – that they're together?" I blurted out, not taking my eyes away from their slight movements and almost converging silhouettes.

There wasn't a reply. I turned my head to look at Effy, who was looking back at me with another smirk and a look that I supposed was to be an answer, only that I couldn't figure out her enigmatic answers again.

"What do you think?" She shrugged a reply.

"I don't know." I admitted.

"He likes her." She replied, turned her head back to look at them.

"Yeah you think so too?" I just got a confirmation from Effy. I don't know how it is but Effy seems to be able to read into these kinds of things and most of the time she's right about them. I got my answer. Well half of it I guess.

James and Emily were talking now and it was killing me to just stand there and watch.

"Oooh look, see that?" Effy caught my attention.

James scratched his head and shifted imperceptibly to his left, just an invisible fraction closer to Emily. It was just a slight body movement. You could almost miss this if you weren't observing and dissecting every nuance like how I was. It was as though he was shifting in his seat but the fact is, he moved a tiny bit closer to her. I'm not sure if this was intentional on his part but it seems like he couldn't stay away from her magnetic force either.

"Yeah he likes her." Effy confirmed.

My heart constricted. How was there ever a chance for me?

"You can see it in his body language, that shift, the way he scratches his head or how he occasionally looks at her. You can tell a lot of things from body language." I shifted uncomfortably as she looked at me with a knowing look. It was as though she was telling me that she could read mine too.

"So does Emily like him too?" Fuck it, read all you want from me. I need to know; I don't trust my judgment anymore. Tell me, oracle Effy.

"Hmm," she paused. "Not as much, I don't know, she's not giving anything away. She may or may not know that he likes her or maybe she's just – not sure." Effy looked at me again as I tried to digest what she said.

It was just going around it circles. Effy wasn't giving a proper answer. She didn't have all the definite answers but one thing's for sure, Effy definitely did not know if Emily liked James as much as he liked her. That was a hope, a faint glimmer, of something I shouldn't even be so sure I should be hanging on to.

I took a look at the both of them again, observing Emily this time. She dipped her head in a way I recognized as her being shy as her body tilted a little to James, not too much but not as much as he was leaning in to talk to her. A reflex flick of her hair, the fiddling of her hands and a small laugh was signaling to me that she was probably just as nervous as James. Maybe they both couldn't see it; sometimes you miss the obvious things that are right in front of you. I definitely know that.

"Why don't you tell her?" Effy broke me out of my reverie. How was she able to ask me a question without really knowing what is there to ask? It's not like I've told anyone about this.

"Tell her what?" I pretended to feign ignorance; I was just avoiding the topic. "There's nothing to tell."

"Okay."

That was with it with Effy. She never pushed me to do anything I didn't want. But I guess, at this point of time, I wanted to be pushed, to be dared, because I reckon I'm just a big fat coward when it comes to voicing out my feelings and thoughts. I never needed to chase any girl in my life, they just came to me; I didn't need to ask for them. I took the simplicity or complexity of these things for granted. Now I'm faced with a girl I like, and I didn't know how to tell her I liked her without ruining the friendship between us. At least if I told her and she didn't reciprocate, I could move on.

"At least if you told her, you wouldn't need to be guessing." She added, as though she read my thoughts.

Guessing what? Guessing whether Emily liked James? Guessing whether there was a possibility she could like me? Guessing whether the both of them were already a couple? _Damn you Effy and your ambiguous questions. _She sure knew how to poke me in the right way to unsettle me.

I muttered a grumble under my breath as I started towards both of them with the intention of ending this exchange between them.

Midway up the ramp, I stopped abruptly, like deadweight. _What the fuck did I just see?_ Emily had leaned in and placed a kiss on James' lips. _She_ leaned in. And kissed. James.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

All words of intellectual swearing completely left my mind as I could just hear my mind screaming the word fuck in repetition, each one increasing in volume and intensity.

"Fuck." I exhaled semi-audibly.

I almost dropped one of my crutches, as I stood there gormlessly, defeated, with a severe pain seizing my heart as I saw James smiling with a completely smitten look and Emily's shy smile in return. _Maybe she does like him after all._

"Come on let's go over." Effy's voice was at my ear.

I didn't have an opportunity to think. I heeded mindlessly to that as I felt myself grip my crutches tightly and compelled it forward. Every thump from my crutches as I moved forward was like an echo from my heart, slow and heavy, yet furious. I was mad at myself for letting this mean something to me, for deflecting chance after chance with her, for James being the one to receive a kiss initiated from her. I should be the one. I want to be that one. Why the fuck am I not the one she's kissing?

Emily's head turned as we were approaching them.

"Naomi!" She exclaimed and shot up from the bench. She looked like she didn't know whether to come over to me or to stand where she was.

"Naomikins!"

I glanced briefly at her before looking at James who was smiling cheerfully at me, like the smile of someone that just got kissed. Very much aware that a scowl was on my face, I willed myself to morph that into some other expression that I could only pretend to say that it was expressionless. I don't think that it's quite it but I'm trying here.

Effy nudged me with her elbow. Apparently I had failed to respond again.

"Hey." I managed.

"Why didn't you call me, or text? I could've met you in class." Emily asked.

She was looking flustered with a pink tinge on her cheeks, bouncing a little on the balls of her feet, the wind blowing a bit of hair out of place. I would've thought she looked rather cute, no, right, I think she looks cute; I can't deny that.

I shrugged, "Nah, no problem coming here." _Luckily I did._

"Shall we go now?"

"Yeah alright," I turned to leave. "Thanks Eff, see you later James." I called back without turning my head and hobbled away, not waiting for Emily.

"Should we find some classroom?" I asked after she reappeared by my side with her bag. I felt like a prat for behaving like that to her. It's not her fault that she didn't know I liked her.

"Uh I was thinking – maybe we could go to your house. It would be you know – easier for you?" Emily replied hesitantly.

I didn't really let anyone into my house. Even I rarely bring home my ex-girlfriends. But I could see she was trying to help me out and I guess letting Emily in was okay, even if it is letting her into a part of me. I keep thwarting my plans to keep her at bay from me.

"Okay, sounds good." I replied.

"Should we take a bus or…"

"Can we walk?"

I usually take the bus now after injuring my leg since I couldn't really ride my bicycle anymore. Walking was a little far, like a good thirty minutes or so, but the weather was looking pretty fine and I kinda want to spend a bit of time in her company, just the two of us, walking, though I don't know how it'd turn out. I didn't think. I just simply wanted to walk with her.

"Okay." She smiled back without any questions as we got out of school.

We walked side by side. The truth is; I miss this, us, just walking together, easy, carefree, when I didn't let my feelings for her get involved.

We chatted a bit but not a lot. Part of the walk was spent taking sneaky sideways glances at her. I was trying to do it discretely and trying to not trip. Don't want me hurting the other leg yeah.

"You never said you lived on this side of the town." Emily abruptly asked.

I gave a very confused look, not really getting what she was asking.

"I mean, you kind of live on the opposite side of town from me but you've been – used to – cycling me home. You shouldn't have…"

Oh that. Yeah, all the little white lies I've spun just to spend whatever little time I could with her have surfaced. I've been found out.

I shrugged and attempted to brush it off, "It's nothing really, no big deal." It's not like it mattered now isn't it.

We lapsed into a silence, not uncomfortable, as we walked on.

_Tell her._

Suddenly Effy's words floated into my head in a disembodied form. _No no no, I can't tell her._ Not when there's so many things that I'm not sure of. I can't put my cowardly heart out at risk.

_Then, ask her._

A fragment of my imagination in the form of Effy's potential words of advice popped into my head.

I glanced nervously at Emily who was kicking the little pebbles on the ground, seemingly in thought. We weren't exactly paying attention to each other; we seem to be in our own worlds, our own thoughts. She looked fantastically beautiful today, everyday. I wanted to run my fingers between her soft vibrant red hair which threw off the sunshine with a gleam. I wanted to drink the sunlight that settles on the skin of her slender neck. I wanted to grab that hand of hers that's twiddling with the hem of her sleeveless top and encase it with my own. I couldn't do any of that, so I asked her.

"Are you both – you and James – together? Like a couple?" Fuck yes, I finally asked her with much cringing on my part. The question was sitting at the edge of my tongue has been swallowed way too many times. It was finally liberated. Now the beats of my heart are held captive, frightened of her answer.

Her eyes shot to me in surprise, "No! Where – why'd you think we are?" She looked perplexed, astonished, almost shocked. I would have believed her, but I didn't.

"Really?" I replied, trying to sound nonchalant. "It seems like you both are." I looked straight ahead, not wanting my eyes to meet hers. I didn't trust my eyes to not give myself away. You can tell a lot of things from the eyes too.

"Nah, James… he's not my type – really. He's – like a really good friend."

My heart nearly gave a tiny dance in delight. _Not my type._ Did she just say that? I would have believed her again, but I took out whatever that's left of my skepticism in defense. It still doesn't seem plausible.

"Doesn't look like it. Seems like he likes you." I kept my voice level and steady, like I had been practicing a flat, emotionless, tone, giving nothing away.

"Yeah." She replied. I think that was an acknowledgement. I swear I could detect a sad note to that. "But we're just friends – really good friends."

I could fucking dance in delight if it wasn't for my crutches and the fact that I was physically in Emily's company. _In your face James! She doesn't like you!_ I forced my face with all the control I could muster and masked it into a faintly surprised look. Fuck, this was so hard. A smile was about to escape and ruin me. _One threatening opponent down. One nil to me._

"Why do you care anyway?" Emily asked, "Do you have like a secret crush on me or something?"

My jaw fell open and I swear my eyes enlarged in total surprise. How – how the fuck did she know that? My mouth opened and shut, as I couldn't find words to counter that. Fuck! Was I being so obvious all the while? She knows. Oh god what do I say?

There was a tiny twinkle in her eye as she looked at me with a side smile on her face. _Shit. Think of something you dumbass brain._

"Relax Naomi, I'm kidding." Her voice visibly hardened as she looked down and away. I think I heard her scoff softly, probably in disbelief from my reaction.

My hammering heart continued to pound at a steady rate as I realised we had misread each other. That was fucking close. I was saved from answering a question I didn't know how to answer. I wouldn't have said yes nor would I have said no. It depends.

"But," my mouth blabbed out before my mind could approve, "why did you kiss James?" That was confusing me. Why would she kiss him on the lips and say he's 'not her type.'

"Because sometimes," she stared unwaveringly at me, "you can kiss someone but it doesn't mean anything."

I frowned hard at her reply. Then it clicked. Fuck. Does she mean – is she, referring to me? My mind flashed back to that day in the classroom when I kissed her, told her it was a mistake, and ran away. Is she implying that when I kissed her, the kiss I gave didn't mean anything to me, like how the kiss she gave James didn't mean anything to her?

But of fucking course it meant something. It's when I realised I liked her that's why I ran away thinking she didn't…

Now hold on a fucking minute. Did she just mean that she thought that I didn't like her? _But I do!_ And that I ran away because she thought I realised I made a mistake kissing her? _But I only thought she didn't feel that way!_

My eyes really opened for the first time, like a blind man that sees the world for the first time, as I gaped at Emily. She was looking straight ahead, unable to meet my gaze, biting her lip in a way that I would think she realised she said a little too much, or something too obvious. She looked downcast, or maybe more like, hurt, frightened.

Could it be, that she actually, liked me? Could it be that we've been so completely oblivious to our attraction for each other? Was there even a chance that she could actually like girls – me? Were we just tiptoeing around each other all the while, looking in at all the wrong places, wasting all the opportunities we had together?

This sudden epiphany got my whole mind staggering. I was trying to piece everything together, trying to make this whole theory sound plausible. A small part in me started to get excited, still with a pinch of fearfulness, but the more I rationalized, the more I reckoned that we've certainly been too fucking blind.

I've got to tell her.

With all the soliloquizing going on in my head, unknowingly, we've actually reached my house. _I've got to tell her._

Emily held one of my crutches for me as I fumbled about in my bag for the house keys, not really paying attention to what I was doing, just going through the motions.

I opened the door and was greeted with the silence. My mom was working and we had the whole place to ourselves.

I wanted so badly to confess my feelings for Emily but I realised I didn't know where or how to start. I began to have my misgivings again. A little voice at the back of my head was telling me that I've got it all wrong. Fuck, I don't know what to do.

I noticed that Emily had removed her shoes and was standing by the door, taking a good look at the living room with interest. It was small, wee bit messy, slightly cramp, with well used second hand furniture, but it was homely, at least that's what I feel. We never had much, but we had enough.

"Make yourself at home." I said instead, settling down on the sofa before removing my shoes. "There's some juice in the fridge, just help yourself." I'm buying myself time before I figure out how I'm going to resolve this.

Emily came back with two glasses of orange juice, both without ice. She doesn't drink her juice with ice too! Man, this girl is perfect for me. Plus one for her.

She settled beside me on the sofa and my heart started the familiar thump, all too aware of her proximity to me. We sipped our juices from the glass in silence. There was a loud cacophony going on in my head. Various ideas were shouting for attention, fighting for top spot to start this whole declaration thing. My stomach twisted itself into dead knots as I felt her knee brush briefly against mine. I could feel the radiating heat from her body as we shared the slightly larger two-seater sofa.

_Now._ My mind commanded. _But I'm not ready. What do I say? What if –_

"This is a nice place." Emily commented out of the blue, interrupting my perturbed rambling mind.

I nodded wordlessly in agreement, barely registering what she just said. My whole being was tensed, well aware of what I would be doing in the next few moments.

How was this ever so hard? Shouldn't liking someone be easy? It's either they reciprocate, or they don't. If we over think things all the time and second-guess our action and thoughts, we'd never know, we'd never find out, we'd let the opportunity pass by. And I've let too many damn opportunities pass by.

Don't think. Just feel.

_Since feeling is first, who pays any attention to the syntax of things will never wholly kiss you._

I want to say, fuck the syntaxes, all the technicalities and elements in the way we word our speeches, and the sequencing of the way we process and reprocess our thoughts and actions. If we paid attention to getting our words right all the time, we'd never have the right sentence out. If we had to always choose the right timing to say whatever that's on our mind, we'd probably miss it. There'll never be an end in finding the right syntax of things.

I placed my empty glass beside Emily's on the coffee table in front of us and turned to her.

"I didn't mean it," I started out shakily, swallowing, pausing, and freaking out.

Emily's attention was on me as she frowned at my abrupt half sentence.

I continued, braving forward, taking the final step, "When I said, it was a mistake – that time – in class when I, kissed you. It does mean something to me – kissing you."

It was incoherent, disjointed and almost rushed but I paid attention to getting out everything I needed to say, forgoing all syntax, yet capturing the essence of it. I hope.

Emily's frown disappeared and an expressionless face replaced it as she stared at me, her brown eyes penetrating onto mine, not giving me a hint to what she was thinking, like she was waiting for me to continue to speak. I had run out of words; my next sentence was never thought out. I know I should say something more but all my mind was going about is that I would never kiss Emily again if I adhered to sequencing.

Since feeling is first, I suppressed my frantic palpitating heart, pushed my nerves aside and hesitantly leaned just a fraction in. My eyes automatically flicked to her rosy lips and back up to her eyes that I noticed where trained on my lips. This gave me a bit more confidence. Closing my eyes, I leaned further towards her, getting a faint whiff of her perfume, eliminating the gap and gently brushed my lips against hers, giving the slightest of kisses, before pulling back.

It was brief but how I missed this, the feel of her soft lips against mine. My heart was erupting with fireworks, my lips tingled, my brain buzzed with a certain kind of high.

Her eyes opened half a second later and slowly dragged them up to meet mine. I still couldn't read her expression but all I know that it is a good sign that she didn't pull back or that she hasn't shown any signs of trepidation.

So I leaned in again, with renewed confidence and pressed my lips against hers once more. This time, I kissed her a little harder than before, a proper kiss, lingering as long as I dared to. And she started kissing me back.

A thrill shot through my sensors as I realised she was equally returning my kisses. My whole body was tingling as my atoms collided against each other in frenzy as I let this sensation of her lips wash over me. Her perfume was making my mind spin giddily. My lips curled up into a smile as I gently cupped her face and continued my tender assault on her lips, relishing the sound of our tiny kisses that filled my ears like sweet music.

What a fool I was, to deny myself this. I was wholly a fool while Emily is in the world. My world.

We slowly broke apart. I kept my eyes shut, aware of the smile still left on my lips, as I savored the glorious sensation. I opened them in time to see Emily open hers too. They were half lidded and had a daze-struck look in them, the good kind, like she can't believe this just happened. I can't believe this happened. We were both slightly breathing heavily. A cute small smile had graced her lips, the type that clearly showed that she was more than all right with this. Her tongue darted out and trailed over her bottom lip, the very lips that I just had the privilege to kiss for an indefinite amount of time.

A delighted shudder crawled deliciously through my body. My blood approves.

Why did I use our humanly intelligence to complicate my life? All the wisdom that tells us what to do, how to think, what to say – are useless. I'd trade wisdom, all of them, because I swear by all flowers, kisses are a better fate than wisdom. And I'd rather have Emily's kisses.

Emily's eyes were wide open and staring at me, expectantly, all too aware of what we had just did. There was not a cloud of fear in them. It was like she's staring into my mind, trying to read what was in it. A very hushed silence enclosed us and I could only hear my thumping heart. My mind was in disarray, trying to organise itself after Emily's kisses had scattered its thoughts about.

"Naomi…" She started, her projected voice more husky and delicious, the kind that sounds like the after effect of kissing.

I placed a finger on her lips to silence her and gave a tiny shake of my head. No talking. Words should play no part in this. With words, we think too much.

This might be the wrong move on my part as Emily's eyes suddenly changed and exhibited vulnerability. She lowered her eyes and dipped her head uncertainly before looking back up at me. I swear I almost saw an imperceptible thin film of water in them. We were still leaning into each other, not touching, but invading each other's personal space. _Don't cry._

Without thinking, I reached out and wrapped my right hand around her hip and dragged it up her back, pulling her into me and closing the distance between us once again, fusing our lips together. Another earth shattering explosion rippled through my body as our lips sought each other's with increased fervour. I felt her eyelashes on her eyelids flutter delicately against mine as I moaned into the kiss. The best gesture of my brain is less than Emily's eyelids' flutter.

I pulled her closer onto my side and slid my other hand around her neck tugging our heads closer as I could. Emily's found their way around my torso and I felt her hands grip the shirt on my back. Tiny noises of approval escaped from her throat as she smiled against my lips when I tilted my head to properly connect our lips.

Emily's kisses should be made for me because they feel so good. I'd never experienced this much euphoria in kisses with another person than with her. _We are for eachother._ My mind keeps playing these words over to me in repeat. _We are for eachother._

Half of Emily's body was pressed against mine as we continued kissing, less frenzied but with the same innocent intensity. Her arms came up and encircled them around my neck as mine wrapped themselves around her waist. My mind was in pure bliss as I relished this sensation again and again. I could metaphorically laugh, leaning back in my arms at how simple this became.

For life's not a paragraph. I lost all structure when I let actions speak more than paragraphed words, the words I never was good at expressing myself. So I said all I wanted with the kisses. I kissed her with all the words I couldn't muster, telling her how much I'd wanted this all along, that I liked her, that we are for eachother if she let us be.

Sliding my tongue over her bottom lip, I pushed the tip of my tongue tentatively, probingly, through her lips, which she had slowly opened them. Our tips met and glided haphazardly against each other before she granted me more access and we both moaned loudly at the contact as I slipped my tongue in hungrily, properly stroking against hers. My heart pirouetted wildly and my world spun with delirium as I savoured the sweetness of her kisses and her shaky hot breath that warmed my insides.

This could go on forever and that even death I think is no parenthesis, when it comes to this. It has to be limitless; an open paranthesis.

_She likes me._ That was the first coherent thought that managed to spring into my mind between our kisses. _She really likes me._ I reaffirmed myself.

Without a warning, the main door suddenly flung open.

"Naomi! I'm – OH – "

Emily, startled by the intruder, violently wrenched herself off me with a gasp and scurried away from me, shrinking as far as she could away from me and into the side of armrest in the same sofa. She buried her face in her hands.

How timely. My mother has decided to come home from work at such an opportune timing.

"Mom!" I greeted her with a massive grin that had declared how happy I was. Not with her return I mean, but from having just snogged Emily.

Emily peaked her eyes out from behind her fingers before lowering them from her face and giving a very shy wave and smile at my mom. Her cheeks were flushed in a delicate shade of crimson, her hair a little ruffled.

"Hi Mrs Campbell." She timidly said.

"Never married. Call me Gina, dear." My mom brightly replied, pretending like she didn't just see this girl snogging her daughter.

"Mom this is Emily."

"So this is the lovely girl you mentioned?" My mom asked, as though Emily wasn't in the same room.

"Yup." I beamed again, completely unable to contain this happiness spilling out of me.

"Well I'm just going to grab something and go."

It was obvious to me that my mom was trying to give me some more time with Emily. She breezed past behind our sofa and into the kitchen, leaving me staring at a very flushed Emily, looking shyly at her hands and nothing in particular. She's so fucking cute when she blushes. I just want to grab her and continue with what we had been doing before my mom barged in.

In half a minute, my mom was out and striding towards the door. "Okay I'm going to Tesco to grab some groceries." Our heads whipped to her in acknowledgement. "Have fun girls!" She added cheerily and gave a very cheesy, cringe-worthy wink in our direction before slamming the door shut behind her.

I threw a side-glance at Emily and I swear she turned an even brighter shade of red, almost matching the colour of her hair, and shrunk deep into the sofa. She looked like she was thinking. Oh no, thinking is bad.

I had to distract her, get her out of her head. I wanted so much to carry where we left off upstairs, in my room. I really hoped for that.

"Emily," I gently called her.

Turning her head, she gave a tiny smile. I could see that she was scared. I was too. I'm scared she'll tell me that all of this was a mistake. I've laid my heart, stripped and bare in front of her. There was nothing left of me to hide.

"Do you want to – go to my room? We can, start on our work." This was the only way to get her up to my room. Yeah we probably are going to start with the lessons but frankly my mind is still preoccupied from images of us kissing. We are also probably going to have to talk about this. Time to form paragraphs. But mainly, going to my room will prevent my mom from accidentally intruding on us_ should_ we be – I hope – kissing again.

"Okay." She nodded, albeit unsurely and stood, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

_Yes._ All going according to the plan.

A thousand questions must be swarming in her head. I'm bracing myself for them. I own it to her. Emily wasn't like any other girl. She was much too different, special.

I grabbed my crutches and hefty pulled myself up, hobbling first to the flight of stairs with Emily trailing behind me. My heart started to beat with excitement as I slowly hoisted myself up, stair by stair, as I turned my head back to make sure Emily was following close behind me.


	14. The Kiss

Thanks to **els, i. have. lost. myself. again, fookyeahskins, DNNHK, Alice Boricua, Beck89, Ujin, sexpistols07, spikie142003, fakevegan, dourememberthat, sookieheartsbill, EmZ2009, M, skinsfan15 and mUfF MuNcHeR **for leaving one.

Especially to **els and skinsfan15** for really liking certain paragraphs I wrote. Such inspiration would never exist without the beautiful poem. But thank you for noticing the effort I put into the sentences. :) I really liked writing that chapter.

It's been a really long time since I wrote something. Conversation isn't my strongest as you might notice in this chapter. I hope the quality's still there. Y'all might need to go back and read a couple of chapters, if anyone's still interested in this. Let me know what you like, what you don't like and what I can improve on yeah? Cheers.

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><p><strong>Chapter Fourteen – The Kiss<strong>

**Emily**

Wobbly knees. Heartbeats in a staccato symphony. Heavy gulps of air.

If two weeks ago, someone told me my chances of ever kissing Naomi again was zero, I'd believe them in a heartbeat.

Now, I'm faced with the prospect of possibly kissing Naomi again. And again.

My brain had gone into a comatose state of shock, unbelief and careful delight. I kissed Naomi. Correction. Naomi kissed me. Three times. And didn't run. That was a start.

Oh her kisses were – surreal. I can still feel the taste of her tongue in my mouth, which she had plunged in and consumed the whole of me, making my mind swirl, fingers clench and forget this was happening and the world around me still existed. The sensation of her kisses fell straight into the pit of my stomach and settled low and warm, causing an unexpected reaction.

I hadn't had much time to think as I was already following Naomi up the stairs to her bedroom. Her bedroom. The most intimate space to her or anyone. I reckon.

We were going to study, or actually have a proper chat on what had actually happened. My mind honestly cannot function well enough to handle the simplest math problem. It kept backtracking and rewinding itself to the way Naomi was kissing me. It was only capable of thinking about that. No, well, about what she said too, about her kissing me in class and actually meaning it, that it meant something to her.

I should be ecstatic, delirious with joy, but I kept a lid on it because this didn't mean anything. Her kisses didn't say anything, they weren't contracts, there were so much left unsaid, so much can be changed.

We made it up to the landing on the second floor and I followed her to her room, which was situated at the corner. Opening the door, she hobbled in. I stepped in after her, expectantly. I was excited to see her room; you get to know someone in an intimate way once you've seen their room. There are so many things you can find out about them from what they have in them.

The first thing I noticed was a queen size bed right in the middle with its dark blue bed sheets and double pillows. To it's left was a small cluttered desk with all sorts of papers, books and little items strewn across it. On right side of the table was a very full open bookcase, bursting with books, stacked vertically and horizontally over, in front and on top of each other, and a tiny personal toilet. Her trophies and medals were placed neatly on a small table at the other side of the room. There were only four of them in total. One trophy and three medals. The trophy was the one she had won for last year's finals. It was gold and gleaming, standing erect and proud.

My eyes fell on a puddle of clothes at the foot of her bed, a jumbled colourful mess. The piece of clothing that caught my eye was Naomi's lush satin blue bra strategically half hidden right at the top of the pile. It seemed to be peeking out and waving for my attention. For a moment, a cluster of inappropriate pictures of Naomi wearing nothing but that bra materialized in my mind.

"Room's a bit of a mess." Naomi broke me out of my thoughts, smiling sheepishly and may I just add, rather adorably. She was speaking casually to me as though what happened downstairs hadn't happened. I wish I could display that kind of calmness.

I just zoned out staring at her bra. I felt a blush creeping up my cheeks as the images refused to disappear, hovering in front of my eyes like a solid mist. A slight wetness started to form in my knickers. My face immediately flushed and I lowered my head, trying to use my fringe to hide my face. Fuck! I was easily getting turned on again, first from kissing Naomi, and now from her lingerie. When did I turn into such a teenage boy with raging hormones? When did such triviality start such a catastrophic reaction in my hormones?

I dropped my bag and moved awkwardly, almost frantically to her bookcase with the intention to hide my face, willing it to return to its rightful colour. I glanced briefly at the spines of the books. She had the whole series of Harry Potter, A Song of Ice and Fire, Lord of the Rings and many literature books. You can also tell a lot about a person from the books they read. If you didn't know Naomi, you'd think she just all brawn and no brains. She wasn't. She was smart and got A's in her other subjects; apparently she was only hopeless at math. Some people were like that. But I had no idea Naomi was a secret bookworm.

Turning back to Naomi with the intention of complimenting her taste in books when I saw her propping her crutches against the wall, pulling off the duvet and settling in on the left side of her bed. My words never made it out. I mean – like why is she getting into bed? Aren't we supposed to be studying? Shouldn't we try to use that cluttered desk or the floor and not her bed? My mind was freaking out, jammed, stuck in a traffic of a fluster of thoughts. My body knew not what to do. Was I expected to climb in on the other side beside her or take up residence in that swivel chair at the desk that was just as tantalizingly close to the bed?

Needless to say, I chose the swivel chair. I let what is left of my composed mind to dictate my actions because seriously, she wouldn't exactly want me to climb in next to her right? I mean, _come on._

_I know we don't belong  
>Everyone says it's wrong<br>We come from different ways  
>So I try to erase everything that I've felt<em>

I took the steps in the direction of that innocuous swivel chair. I felt like I was being watched. I was. Her blue eyes were trained on my shuffling steps and myself. There was a look in her eyes I couldn't quite place. A hard look, like she was staring right into me. It was almost wanting, the kind that made my body shudder involuntarily. I tried to suppress it. Her tongue came out to wet her lips. I gulped inaudibly, almost reaching out to that swivel chair for assurance and support before I voluntarily crumbled into a Naomi-induced mess. The static between us was crackling. I could feel the hairs on my arms stand to attention. I shakily reached out and habitually tucked my hair behind my ear.

Naomi's hand shot out and grabbed my left forearm. I didn't make it to the swivel chair.

Instead I was pulled, insistently, purposefully and willingly by her hand and fell sideways, bum first into her lap like some dramatic movie scene. A surprised gasped escaped from my mouth but her hand wrapped itself around my neck, pulling my head down and her lips instantly silenced my gasp, kissing me hungrily and fervently. Her other arm came to rest on my waist, her fingertips squeezing my lower back, making me tip my body towards her, half ticklish, half instinctively with want. As if she realised she poked my ticklish spot, she encircled her arms firmly around me, pulling me closer into her.

_Then you kiss me and suddenly I don't care anymore  
>Something in me tells me you're the one I'm looking for.<em>

I held on tightly to Naomi's biceps and squeezed them momentarily before sliding up to rest them tentatively on her shoulders.

For now, it didn't matter that there wasn't any verbal communication on this matter between us. For now, I didn't need to care. The way Naomi was kissing me made me realise that, through the way she was kissing me, she was the one I'm looking for, the one I only ever wanted.

It may seem foolish, wishful and naïve that at the age of eighteen, without any prior relationship experience or any prior form of being romanticized in my life that I could come to a conclusion that Naomi was the only one that I wanted. It is foolish, I admit. But you can't blame me for feeling all these when I'm sitting in the lap of most beautiful girl that I've laid my eyes on and us kissing like we are for eachother.

I moaned in approval as the intensity of our kisses escalated, our tongues doing a delightful water dance with each other. Each thrust and flick of our tongues left an imprint in my senses. I swear I'll remember this sensation forever even when it or I cease to exist.

I slid my hands further up and around her neck, clutching on to the collar of her polo tee like I was drowning and my life depended on it as she broke her kiss and started a delicate trail of kisses along my jaw line, causing me to unconsciously tilt my head up and take shaky breaths while she traced the smooth of my neck with her lips down to my clavicle before kissing her way up and attaching our lips together again. My insides squirmed and twisted themselves into strange beautiful knots as I sighed with approval and breathed the air she was finished with.

Her warm left hand that rested on my knee glided ever so slowly up my thigh leaving a fiery trail of goose bumps in its wake. A sudden rush of heat exploded through my body and filled up my knickers. I gasped and jolted like I was galvanized, dislodging my lips from Naomi's just as her hot tongue was once again in deep territory doing indescribable wonders. We weren't just kissing; we were proper full on snogging each other. It was nothing like the tiny kiss I gave James at the benches. That paled in comparison and seemed to fade into a far off distant hallucination. This was nothing like the kiss Naomi and I shared on my birthday under the shelter and a crumpled muffin. This kiss was I telling her everything that has been bottled up in me since the day my eyes fell on her.

Our foreheads rested against each other's as we both took heavy breaths, calming our frantically racing hearts.

I slowly opened my eyes as I felt her forehead leave mine, feeling a little dazed again after shutting them for so long and so hard, meeting Naomi's crystal blue ones that were staring back into mine. They were as clear as the brightest day in Bristol, the very kind that once captivated and is still captivating me. Her lips were slightly parted and panting, her warm breath mingling and interchanging with mine. They looked sexily swollen, red and puffy, like they were being kissed into their state. I had kissed them into this. And she let me do it.

Her eyes flicked down to my lips and back up to my eyes before she closed them and leant in, placing another slow lingering kiss. This time the kiss was chaste again and full of tenderness. She pulled away before I could lose myself in it again. I surveyed the spectacle in front of me. My very hands that had clutched on desperately had twisted the collar of her lush green polo tee askew; many stray strands of her soft blonde hair had escaped from her already messily tied up ponytail. But she looked ravishing and fucking beautiful.

The corner of her lips twitched up into a tiny smile. "Is this real?" She blurted out a little hoarsely. I could have sworn that it sounded almost of disbelief.

Nevertheless, the question took me by surprise. Wasn't I the one that was supposed to ask that question instead? Was kissing Naomi real or just the best dream I ever had? Was it real that I'm actually sitting in her lap with my knickers sodden and her arms around me? It was all very real indeed. I clamped my thighs tightly together, fully embarrassed and aware that my knickers were absolutely wrecked. Never had anyone or anything brought out such a reaction in me, not in a way that caused my knickers to be slick against my skin.

I smiled at her, returning equal disbelief, as she looked at me softly with a smile of her own and hesitantly reached out her left hand brushed the hair out of my cheek with her fingertips, threading it back behind my ear and cupping my cheek. I automatically leaned against her touch and I reckoned my smile brightened by a few million watts.

"I think so." I replied, realising my voice had become more low and husky from all the kissing. Naomi's eyes widened and she bit those still puffy lips of hers, while another smile threatened to emerge again.

"But how – I mean, when – I thought – " Naomi shook her head a little, like there were too many questions and didn't know where to begin. She took a deep breath and tightened her arms around my waist. I kind of already love that feeling, of being in her warm arms, like she was protecting me, like I'm the one that only mattered as long as I'm in them. "I like you." She said abruptly, looking startled at her own sudden abrupt confession as she bit her lip nervously this time, eyes flicking to mine, like she was waiting and judging my reaction.

I cannot tell you how high my heart soared when I heard those words fall out of her mouth like precious gold nuggets nor how loud a symphony orchestra sang in my chest as my mind waltzed in delirium around those words. I think I've wanted this since the day I met her in secondary school. Probably at that time, with that age, I wouldn't have known it. But today, here, this, something feels really right, something perfect, like something clicked into place. Oh Naomi Campbell, when I first met you, I never knew I would have to spend the rest of my teenage years rearranging my life so there'd be room for you to stay. I think I've liked you ever since I was twelve, going on thirteen, the very day I saw you in school where you walked past me and never knew I existed.

My smile elongated, spreading wide and happy across my face. "I like you too." I said it back, bravely, the very words I had meant to tell her a long time ago.

"Yeah?" Naomi replied with a dazzling smile that seemed to light up the room and outshine the sunrays.

"Yeah."

"But," she continued slowly and unsurely, pausing, completely getting it all out, airing all her concerns, "You don't like James, do you." She was fiddling so nervously with the hem of my top, eyes flicking hesitantly to mine and chewing on that lip of hers. There was something about that lip of hers that was driving me insane, in an aphrodisiac way.

How was it possible that she thinks I still like James even after experiencing this amazing kissing session we just had? I had to make my point clear again. And actions speak louder than words.

A bout of recklessness seized me. I took her head in my hands again and crashed our lips together, kissing her frantically, urgently and deeply as I used my upper body weight to ease her back into her pillows and adjusting myself so I was straddling her hips, trapping her between myself and her fluffy pillows. I kissed her, telling her that I didn't like James, that I liked her, that she didn't need to worry about me changing my mind about that._ You should have opened your eyes, I was crazy for you._

Naomi hummed into my kiss as I threaded my hands through her hair and pulling her head impossibly closer. Her tongue swiped steadily over my lower lip and sucked deliciously on it as her hands slid down my back and cupped my ass. I felt my insides undulate, sending another embarrassing gush of wetness. My head was spinning like a carousel. All I could do was prevent myself from automatically grinding into her. She was such a good kisser, not that I had much experience but something about the way she kisses just undoes me.

It made me think whether I was good enough and whether she was experiencing the same things as I was. Or could it be just me.

We gently broke apart, breathing erratically. That's what she does to me; she makes my heart forget how to beat in a normal rhythm.

"Wow." Naomi breathed out. Her eyes were wide with surprise, the hue of her blue irises shining, looking up at me with flushed cheeks. "That was… amazing." She whispered, the corners of her mouth curled up into a soft genuine smile.

And I started to feel shy all over again. I don't know, I just did. No one has told me that my kisses were amazing.

Naomi pushed herself back upright and took my hands in hers. Time just paused as we looked shyly at each other, both of us not really knowing what to say. I took this time to marvel once again at her features, her straight nose, high cheekbones, perfectly shaped eyebrows, the curve of her jaw and flawless skin. My eyes were taking snapshots of this very moment, another epoch of my life.

"When did you know?" My eyes looking down at our hands as her long fingers twined themselves through mine, her thumb tracing circles over the back of my hand. My heart swelled at this simple action that I never experienced in my life till now. "That – you liked me?" I still can't believe it. I need to confirm this; double and triple confirm this. If I told myself two weeks ago that Naomi had a possibility of liking me, I would've thought that I was insane.

"Hmm," she paused, lowering her eyes, searching for an answer. I was afraid of what she was going to say. I was afraid that she realised all this was just a whim. Everything was that fragile to me. She has no idea how tightly I had let her wrap herself around my heart. "It was that time – in that shelter." The side of her mouth tugged up into another shy smile.

"My birthday?" I was rather taken aback. So all that she did, the cake, the hug, the kiss, she did it intentionally. She liked me for that long, a good number of months. I can't quite believe that.

"No no," her cheeks flushed a deeper pink as she untangled our hands and brushed the fringe out of my eyes. She's always doing that but I really like it. My hands came up to smoothen out her collar, which I had absolutely ruined its shape, and straightened the buttons at the front. I was touching her like it was _normal_, like I was _allowed_ to. "That time in the rain," she mumbled.

My hands froze and stopped fiddling as I stared at her in shock. That was way back, to when I barely knew her, when I thought I was crushing irrationally on her. She liked me for _that_ long? But that was impossible, she had a girlfriend at that time and when you have a girlfriend, aren't you supposed to be madly in love with her, was I the third party?

"Of course," Naomi continued, "I wasn't quite sure. I mean – I just knew you for barely two weeks. I didn't like – _know_, if you know what I mean." She shook her head and chuckled nervously, thinking she was hardly making any sense. "It was just this tiny feeling, you know, that I slowly realise was that I like you – a lot, more than normal." She lifted her hand and lightly brushed her knuckles against my cheek and smiled shyly, "But I guess – that was the start of it."

My heart kinda did a happy dance again but I was a tad bothered by her relationship with Angela so I asked, "What about Angela?"

She screwed up her beautiful face and gave a frown, apparently thinking how she was going to answer this. I hung on to every second that passed in silence.

"It wasn't working out between us even before you showed up." Naomi kept her eyes on her hands like she had taken a sudden fascination to it. "I mean she was nice – hot – and all that but," she shrugged a little, "We got together too fast without barely knowing each other. It feels different, with you, believe me." She looked back into my eyes and I could see the genuine sincerity pouring right out of them. And I did, believe her, yet it made me more vulnerable that she had control of when or whether she wanted to break my heart.

I gave a brief nod, not wanting to explicitly acknowledge I believed her but also keeping the last piece of myself from her, hoping and wishing she would never break all of me if she did.

"What are we then?" My mouth blurted out before my mind had processed what my heart wanted to ask.

A smile tugged at the corner of Naomi's lips as she enunciated, "My girlfriend now of course." The sparkle was back in her blue eyes, shining, as her arms encircled them once again around my waist. Oh god I love those warm arms around me and that confident smile.

YES. My heart practically screamed in acknowledgement but my mind had other concerns. Don't get me wrong, hearing those words out of Naomi's mouth wanting me as her girlfriend blew my heart right out into the universe. It was soaring right up there flying with all the pretty little galaxies and shooting stars that rained down like confetti on this very noun. But, Naomi was dangerous, having the reputation of changing girlfriends faster then she changed her clothes. How could I be so sure I wouldn't end up in the pile of has-beens eventually? How could I be sure that we weren't getting together too fast? I mean we just kissed or rather snogged each other's faces off and called each other 'girlfriend' without going through the whole chasing and dating thing. Honestly it was all rather overwhelming, having the most popular girl at school tell me she liked me and call me her girlfriend. Even dreams didn't create this much goodness. And honestly, I've never experienced the chasing and being chased game.

"No." I managed to wrestle that word out of my mind and out of my mouth.

Naomi's brow creased and a flash of fear clouded her eyes. She started to remove her arms from my waist but I held them there firmly, making her wait for what I was going to say.

"I think we should take this slowly. We barely know each other – "

"I know you," she interrupted, "You're Emily."

"I mean, you don't know what I like or – "

"You like eating cinnamon rolls. You don't like onions and pickles in your food. You don't like horror movies. You're good at math and – "

God this girl was adorable. Naomi was rattling off the list of things she knew about me. She knew. She paid attention to me. My head was in the clouds. My heart was growing loud and I'm trying to keep it down.

"That's not what I mean." I paused, trying to find the right words. "It's just all too fast and – I never got chased after by anyone." The last sentence came out in a rush and I felt myself flush hard at this admission and I ducked my head, desperately avoiding her eyes.

"Okay." Naomi replied. I could hear that her voice was lightly laced with amusement as she placed her fingers on my chin and tilted my head up. "We'll take this slowly."

I looked at her and saw nothing that resembled skepticism or mockery or any change in her demeanor towards me; she didn't make it a big deal. In fact, she was looking at me fondly, maybe even a little relieved? A smile graced her lips as she sat up a little straighter. It suddenly became apparent to me that I was still in that awkward position, straddling her, but I didn't want to move, it felt comfortable, so natural, and so right.

"Can I kiss you again?"

Naomi asked this with such blunt honesty that I could feel myself totally abandoning this whole take-it-slow constraint that I had gotten myself into. Why was I making this so hard on myself? In this moment, I want nothing more than feel her gorgeous lips on mine and feel the euphoria I'd experienced rushing into me again, making my mind delirious. I want to kiss that hopeful little crooked smile of hers; I want to shove her back into the pillows and ravish her in a way that's totally inappropriate for someone that's not even my girlfriend yet. _Yet._

"No…" I dragged out, trying and failing to suppress a smile that slipped out when I saw her wrinkle her nose adorably at my words.

_Oh god Naomi you don't know how hard it is to say no to you._

She suddenly leant forward and attempted to attack my lips while I squirmed and twisted my head away in protest as she chased my lips with hers. Darn me and my quick reflexes.

I placed both of my hands on her shoulders, stopping her pursuits and keeping us half an arm's length apart. She huffed, pouted her pink lips and flashed me a pair of bright blue puppy dog eyes and I did all I can to stop myself from surrendering.

"You're such a tease." Naomi said with a whiny voice of a small girl who just got deprived from something she wanted.

"You're such a flirt." I threw back, scrunching up my nose in fake annoyance. Naomi bit her lip and gave me that tilted head sideways look, you know, like that irresistibly fucking sexy look with her eyes that made my insides potentially quiver again. Okay I need to get out of her lap before I really lose all my self-control.

I anchored my left knee on the bed and swung my right leg backwards and away from Naomi, determinedly ignoring her noise of disapproval, and settled into the space beside her, yet keeping a safe distance from her. I instantly missed her body heat and the way I had fit so easily and comfortably on her lap. Miraculously, I've managed to avoid accidentally sitting on her injury after all the mind-blowing kissing we had done. Well just thinking about that makes me suddenly feel very hot again.

Naomi scooted closer to me till our sides were almost touching. It was all rather unfamiliar yet very delightful. My head was swimming in her scent, which seemed to fill up my sensory system and clog up the little pathways my mind uses to think rationally. Our arms were brushing occasionally and I could literally feel bursts of static shoot through my body. Either I was that tensed or that turned on.

Naomi reached over and tried to take one of my hands with hers but I slapped them away playfully. I was serious. I was not her girlfriend yet and I wanted to make sure I was doing this right before throwing myself into a shotgun relationship. We were going to go backwards, trying to enact what was supposed to be before we kissed. Holding hands was too fast. Not yet.

And I keep saying 'yet', like I am assuming everything was inevitable.

"Naomi?" I brought my knees to my chest and hugged them tightly, as she turned her head to me. I was fucking nervous to ask Naomi this. "Can we not tell anyone about this? Can this just be between us?" _If there was even an 'us'._ I breathed the last word quietly. Even if I had just declared my feelings to Naomi, it didn't mean that I was about to come out waving a rainbow flag and doing PDA's in school. I just wasn't sure, not about liking Naomi, but whether I wanted to be labeled, codified. I wanted to just be me.

"Yeah that's fine with me." After brief moment of hesitation, she returned a nonchalant shrug and a smile.

"Really? I just don't think I want – "

"It's okay Em." She took my hand in hers and I let her this time. Her simple action brought me assurance that it was totally fine with her. She wasn't going to run away or force me to do something I wasn't comfortable with. "No one has to know. This is between us."

Did she say 'us'? Wait a second – am I – no I wasn't her girlfriend but it feels like we were each other's. The line was indelible; it was blurred. I could almost sigh with relief. Why did she feel so perfect? I wanted to kiss her.

Instead I smiled shyly because the way she was looking at me again made me feel like I was the only person she was looking it. I don't know how I can ever get used to it. I think it's still a dream I've yet to wake up from.

"Does it still hurt?" I asked, gently removing my hand from hers and pointing at her leg for a distraction and definitely out of great concern.

"Hmm?" Naomi glanced at her knee and gave a half shrug, "Yeah, a bit – not much. You could kiss me and it'll be better."

Her brilliant blue eyes were sparkling mischievously, daring me and I failed once again to suppress a smile. Her eyes and that quirk on her lips are going to be the death of me.

"Shouldn't we actually start to do some work? That's what we're supposed to do when you made me come up here right?" I playfully said.

Naomi gave a cute grumble under her breath, "Yeah I guess we should. I'm so behind on my coursework."

We ended up on the floor because the bed was really not conducive. And it was fucking hard trying to concentrate when Naomi was sitting at such a close proximity beside me. I don't know if it's intentional or what but she would bend over me when I was I trying to explain something and I could practically feel her body heat and her breath in my ear that sent shivers down my spine.

That night I lay in bed after a shower. For once I was annoyed that Katie was in bed and not staying over at Danny's house because I wanted to squeal with excitement into my pillow or jump around the room with joy. Just thinking about what happened in the afternoon made me smile widely and hear birds singing merrily into my ear. _Naomi. The gorgeous Naomi kissed me._

I tossed in my bed, finding another comfortable spot as I shielded the light my phone emitted and looked at the latest text Naomi sent me which was just a simple _'Sweet dreams x."_ A strangled scream of joy accidentally escaped quietly and I pretended to cough.

"For fuck sake I'm trying to sleep. Cough somewhere will you?" A dead sleepy Katie grumbled and that couldn't dampen my mood.

I coughed a few more times just to irritate her as I turned off my phone and snuggled back into my warm bed.

The dreams were sweet as I dreamt of nothing but fat bookcases, a swivel chair, rugs on floors, blue bras and sweet sighs.

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><p>I didn't get a text from Naomi in the morning. I didn't text her either. Getting into a brand new day somehow feels different. Yesterday was history. Maybe Naomi woke up and realised everything was a mistake. I know, I could be just scaring myself shitless. I am new to this after all. But I can't help it. I think about her all the time and it's scaring me how much I yearn to see her. I want to be sure that she kind of still feels the same thing. 'Kind of' would suffice. I don't believe she'll be as crazy over me as I feel over her. Thankfully she didn't ask me when I first knew I liked her. I wouldn't know how to lie. It would be fucking stalkerish and embarrassing if I told her it was all the way in early secondary school. I don't know how she'll take that.<p>

I walked down the hallway, in the midst of changing classes between periods, keeping an alert eye out for my favourite shade of blonde hair. Nothing. Just bunches of students streaming down the hallway. I was working myself up to the brink of anxiousness. I had to see her; I had to know if we still had this thing between us.

"Emily, wait up!"

I turned my head at the sound of James' booming voice. He pushed past a few students in front of him and made his way to me.

"Hi." James greeted me shyly.

I had totally forgotten about James as thoughts about Naomi had completely colonized my mind. I forgot that I had inadvertently led him to think I could possible even like him a little. I felt like shit after kissing him because I knew I couldn't return any of the affection but there was no way to tell him about that. I knew I mustn't lead him on but I was afraid of also losing this friendship we had.

"I was thinking – "

I never heard what James was trying to talk to me about because my attention completely diverted itself when I heard the sound of metal crutches approaching.

My eyes darted to Naomi immediately. She was looking at me with a tiny smile, the kind that wasn't strained or awkward but the type that was trying hard not to burst into an unrestrained and obvious expression of a huge smile. Her eyes were piercing into mine as her smile threatened to crack wider. The effect Naomi has on me was starting up again. My body tingled all over; everything tunnel visioned and noise became a white blur. _She still feels the same._ My heart started to beat wildly as I confirmed that everything that happened yesterday was real and everything has changed. I'll never ever be able behave in the same way when Naomi's in my direct line of vision.

"Hey Em." Naomi casually leaned against the wall. Everything about her was effortless. Her long hair was straight and she wore an oversized light blue t-shirt with rolled sleeves, accentuating her toned and slim arms. Her black skinny jeans were rolled up at her calves, making her legs look even longer and she finished it off with a pair of beat up red vans. I think I could have drooled at some point of time if I wasn't careful.

How can she possibly appear so calm when my heart was frantically beating at the sight of her? I know I told her to keep this thing between us but I never so much wanted to pushed her up against the wall in the general public have a give her a proper hello. It looks like she has much more self-control over herself than I have.

"So what'd'ya say?" James finished. I didn't get a single word in.

"What?" I replied, totally kicking myself for zoning out so blatantly, especially when I didn't want James to be let on about things between Naomi and I.

"Dinner with me on Saturday?" He asked hopefully, shyly, scratching his head nervously.

"Well I…" I took a sneaky glance at Naomi who was looking at her phone with a slight frown and her mouth in an annoyed line. She looked as though she was pretending not to listen to my conversation with James.

"I don't think I can – I think I'll have to help my mom out at home." I felt so terrible for giving the white lie. I didn't want to continue to lead him on, especially if this dinner was not totally platonic.

"What about Sunday?" James asked again without faltering.

"I – think Katie is making me to go shopping with her." That was true. I glanced at Naomi again. Her expression was kind of blank and not really giving me a clue as to what she was thinking.

"Oh." He looked a little dejected and shuffled his feet. "Maybe some other day yeah?"

"Definitely. We should get the others to hang out together. The more the merrier!" I tried my best to lift the conversation. It probably wasn't what James wanted to hear but he tried his best not to show it.

James grinned again and fluffed my hair. "Alwite gotta go, see yer later lil red. Naomi?"

Naomi pushed herself off the wall and followed after James without taking so much of a backward glance as James waved at me. I was a bit upset at her reaction. She could probably have smiled at me properly. It was like we didn't know each other. This was torture. Just when was I going to see her again?

My phone buzzed indicating a message. I pulled it out expecting to see Katie's message telling me to hurry up and meet her.

**Meet me at maths classroom now. – Naomi**

My eyes widened and I turned my head back in the direction Naomi went off to. She was nowhere to be seen. The classroom was that way. Excitement rushed through me and I hastened my footsteps, winding my way through students, short of breaking into a run.

I turned the doorknob of the classroom door and slowly pushed the door open in anticipation. Without a warning, a hand reached out and grabbed mine. I gave a tiny squeal and let myself get pulled in. My back was pushed up against the door as Naomi turned the lock.

She placed her hands on either side of my head as she leaned her body in, hovering, barely touching mine, and trapping me. Although she was a few inches taller than I am, she seemed to be towering over me, domineeringly sexy. She was smouldering hot; I could melt in her presence.

I gulped as Naomi drew her face tantalizingly close, eyes boring into mine. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips. This was exactly what I wanted to do to her when I saw her in the hallway. Now I was the one being pushed up against a locked door in an empty classroom without windows. From the way she was looking at me, I was almost sure she was going to kiss me till I saw stars again. Fuck taking things slow. I'd let this be the exception.

"You're so fucking gorgeous." Naomi practically growled the words out. Her voice was low and almost animalist. It was such a turn on. I felt like I was a prey willing to be devoured by her. She brought her lips to my ear and took a deep breath and exhaled. "And you smell so fucking good." I closed my eyes and shivered at those words, relishing the sensation as her warm breath glided over my cheek. Heat rushed to my cheeks and surged through my body. I could feel myself getting wet again. She wasn't even touching me and yet I'm being completely undone. If I turned my head, my lips would definitely connect with hers without a doubt. She was just too close to me. She smelt fucking delicious.

Naomi pulled back a little to stare deeply into my eyes. I could feel her breath on my lips as she whispered shyly, "Go out with me?" My heart rate skyrocketed when I heard those words. A smile split wide and happy across my face and Naomi mirrored that.

"Yes." I nodded. A thousand times yes.

"Saturday?" Naomi asked. "Or do you really have to help your mom?"

"Saturday's perfect." I breathed out watching Naomi's eyes, if possible, light up even brighter just for me.

"Don't ever go out with James okay?" Naomi quietly said.

_How could I ever when I'm so completely smitten with you?_ I wanted to tell her that. Maybe she was slightly jealous and wanted me only for herself. I'll gladly submit myself on a platter to her. She needn't worry about me going out with James.

"I wont." Her smile widened and she removed her hands from the wall.

And she still wasn't touching me. I wanted so, _so_ badly to kiss her but I know I couldn't because I told her we were to take it slow and she hadn't broken that rule. I wished she broke that stupid rule now.

"I was okay out there wasn't I?" Naomi questioned.

I had to ponder for a bit, wondering what she was referring to.

"Because," she continued, "I want so badly just to push you against the wall and kiss you just now – and even right now." That low sexy growl was back again. "But I know you wanna take things slow."

My heart expanded with happiness at those words. All my worrying was needless. Naomi was possibly as crazy about me as I am with her. No I think I'm crazier for her. I get all the crazy points.

The school bell rang. Our next class was going to start soon and unfortunately we were having different classes. It was a miracle that no one was using this classroom for the next period or we wouldn't have this special moment together.

"I better get going first." Naomi straightened up and collected her crutches. "See you on saturday."

"Can't wait." I blurted out almost too eagerly. I could have cringed at myself.

"Neither can I." Naomi said, her voice laced with happiness. She pressed a quick and light kiss on my cheek before unlocking the door. I stepped aside and let her pass.

I leant my back against the door once again; smiling and touching the spot on my cheek she kissed, my heart rate easing back to a normal pace. I know I only considered dating when two people are officially together but I just can't help that these six words keep looping ceaselessly in my mind.

I've got a date with Naomi.

I've got a date with Naomi.


	15. Beautiful Soul

Wow, I'm blown away. Thanks or gracias **i. have. lost. myself. again, KFF95, crazziii, M, emilyearmuffz, mardycure, blah. blee. blah, Viewtiful Vampa, K, Iwy'sAshes, misssiomai, Crevette, Alice boricua, mUfF MuNcHeR, goosewriter, anon, Guest, Tumblecat, fookyeahskins, jowtit, TheLovingOfAnnabelle, Swellingheart **for both the positive and negative reviews. I don't learn Spanish so I even had to google translate a review, which that is a first!

It seems quite a bit of you want some Cemily? Nah, come on, you shouldn't focus/worry about that. I've this bag of fluff and angst and it's using up pretty quickly. It's either I top it up or I see the end approaching. Sounds fast but I just don't want to, you know, jump the shark or lose the theme of this story. Basketball will try to reappear but it's not happening now/yet, as you surely know why.

About this date, it's a real place at where I live. Not great. But I quite like to imagine the both of them being there. Names of people and places have been changed.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fifteen – Beautiful Soul<strong>

**Naomi**

You know you've had it bad when the first thing that comes to your mind when you wake to the next day is something, or better yet, someone.

I fell asleep with Emily being the last thing on my mind and woke to her being the first thing on my mind.

I know I've had it bad.

I need to thank Effy for practically pushing me out there to tell Emily how I felt about her.

From now on, I can never look at my bed and not remember the moment we had on it. The way Emily kissed, _gawd,_ if I didn't know, I'd assume she was experienced. But she wasn't, as she claimed, still, it was doing wonders to certain parts of my anatomy. It felt so natural. I can't help that insane grin spreading across my face as I recalled the mind-blowing sensation that roared through my body as our tongues met and tangled themselves. She tasted fucking delicious, her skin was so damn smooth, her body was so warm and fit so well in my arms like I was made to hold her, and she smelled so fucking good. So damn fucking good. I don't know what it is, maybe it was her shampoo or body wash or perfume or a delightful mix of all but it evoked some kind of frantic want in me. I wanted to kiss her hard and endlessly. I wanted to kiss her like I never kissed other girls. I got so fucking wet just getting kissed by her. And I am getting wet just thinking about that.

And she wasn't even my girlfriend. Honestly I felt a little relieved when she didn't immediately jumped in and agree to become mine. I don't know, I was initially definitely bummed but on second thought, taking this slowly was a better idea.

Emily is something special. I've never felt that way about someone like that before. I was absolutely sure that I like her and would never want to hurt her in any way. I'm completely and utterly enamoured with her. I think this was subconsciously suppressed before we kissed. I can absolutely say now that I am even more, if that's possible, obsessed with her. I believe she's totally into me too. I mean just from the way her eyes looked so softly and shyly into mine, or the way she was grabbing tightly onto me, or how I felt her body shiver as I kissed her neck; these are all the signs. Her making a move to kiss me was the biggest sign. I know I can't be reading this wrong.

I think she's not ready to come out and tell people or that she doesn't want to jump too quickly in with me but it's okay; I can wait. I want to be what she always needed and I'd hope she sees the heart in me.

I swung my feet off the bed and padded happily into the bathroom. Today was a good day because I got a date with Emily. A date! She turned James down but readily agreed when I asked her. Yeah maybe I got a bit jealous when James made a move first. Believe me I wanted to ask her first that day but he beat me but it didn't matter now because she picked me and that just says a lot.

It was only ten thirty in the morning and I still have a good eight hours before I picked her up at five thirty for dinner. She protested at first, insisting that she'll meet me at my house but no way was I gonna let her. That just totally isn't date material getting her to meet me at my house. I asked her out, and I'll pull my other muscle if I have to. Figuratively.

So I spent the whole day doing coursework, but mostly lazing, daydreaming about our date. Honestly I hadn't planned some grand romantic evening. It was actually rather minimal, maybe even underwhelming. I wasn't the type to lavish expensive jewellery or a bouquet with a hundred flowers or a dinner at some posh expensive restaurant. I hadn't had that money or that intention. I barely ever go about planning as for my past relationships, I let the girl decide where to go and they seem pretty happy doing that. Today was different, but similar enough to being myself. I would bring her somewhere that I frequented often, somewhere cosy and quiet where we can just create our own world. I only hope she'll love it.

At four, I abandoned my unfinished coursework and hopped in for a quick shower. As my leg was getting better, but unfortunately not enough to lose those crutches, I pulled on a pair of dark blue jeans with less effort and a comfortable white button down collar shirt, rolling up the sleeves to my bicep. I hope my intentions were pretty obvious; I hope the reappearance of a collared shirt would instigate Emily into pulling at it for all sorts of good reasons. I completed the look with a black leather jacket and my trusty vans.

After looking at the mirror and fluffing my hair one last time, I took the flower that I'd secretly picked from my mom's garden and placed it carefully in my bag. It was silly cliché rose, one that I'd selected carefully making sure it was the one with the deepest shade of red, that kind of resembled Emily's hair, and that it hadn't fully bloomed yet so she'd witness it when it did. I'd tied a sizable bag of water with wool at the stem and wrapped it up in a silver and clear plastic wrapper.

It was fucking cliché, absolutely sappy and totally took more effort than I usually did. Man, I actually picked a flower from my mom's garden and wrapped it. I'm actually sincerely making such an effort. Oh god I've had it so bad.

Slinging my bag over my shoulder and grabbing my crutches, I let myself out of the house and took the bus to Emily's.

I glanced at my watch as I stood at the walkway in front of Emily's house. I was a cliché half and hour early. This is really playing out to be some movie. All I need now is violins to usher me in and announce my entrance as I collect my date. I decided to ring the bell instead of standing out here looking stupid.

Emily warned me that her parents would be in. No problem with that. I reckon could handle the parents, though it isn't like I had loads of experience. I wasn't nervous to meet them. On the contrary, I was in fact rather nervous in meeting Emily. You know that kind of feeling where you just can't wait to see your date and that you're shitting in your pants because you've been thinking about her all afternoon and hoped whatever you had planned was perfect.

That's what she made me to be, like I was going for my first ever date all over again.

Cliché number three, I took out the flower and snuck it in my jacket, tucking the base of the wrapping at the waistband of my jeans, zipping my jacket up, concealing it. I wanted it to be a surprise and it certainly would seem smoother than to fumble about my bag later to give it to her. I astound myself at my sappiness.

I pressed the bell and waited for a short moment before I was once again greeted by a familiar lady, Emily's mother.

"Hi Mrs Fitch," I put on my most polite and cheery tone, "Is Emily in?"

"Oh yes you must be Naomi, come on in." Mrs Fitch returned a polite smile and held the door open for me as I hobbled in.

It was my first insight to what Emily's house looked like. It was tastefully decorated, modern, neat and clean. It didn't feel expensive or classy; it was just very well put together. Very unlike mine but I like it. This is what Emily grew up in. I was learning her.

"Please take a seat." Mrs Fitch gestured at the sofa at the living room that was currently also occupied with a man I knew was Emily's father. "Emily, Naomi's here!" She called.

Uh-oh, I hadn't anticipated the sitting down part, not with the flower hidden in my jacket. I thought I'd just step in, stand around for a bit, admire some furniture and whisk her away in a minute. There was no way I should take the flower out. It was too highly suspicious if it was suddenly revealed. I hope the plastic wouldn't crinkle and make a sound. I sat gingerly and really straight so I wouldn't crumple it.

I heard a door wrench open from somewhere upstairs and a pattering of footsteps before seeing Emily's head pop out from above the banisters on the landing of the second level.

"Oh! Naomi sorry just give me a moment!" Emily shouted, sounding possibly flustered and disappeared before I hadn't gotten a glimpse at her.

"Take your time!" I managed to call out before I heard the very same door slam shut again, restraining myself from breaking into a smile at her cute actions. This is what she does to me, making me smile to myself like a fool.

"Hi Mr Fitch." I addressed Emily's father as he put down the paper he was reading.

"Call me Rob, Naomi. And my wife Jenna." Mr Fitch was this fit muscular man with a broad chest, slightly wavy brown hair, blue eyes that were a colour different from mine, and had a wide toothy smile. He had a distinct Scottish accent, something that Emily didn't have, or maybe didn't use. He looked like a really nice and friendly guy. His smile was warm, different from his wife's, which was more reserved and polite. I liked him immediately.

"Where's Katie?" I suddenly asked, remembering Emily's flashier twin sister, someone I forgot I might bump into at the same house.

"Oh Katie's out." Jenna replied.

"Ah I see." I tried not to sound too relieved with her absence.

"So Emily says she's been helping you out in your studies." Rob continued pleasantly.

"Yeah she's really smart," _and rather beautiful too,_ my mind silently added, "And I have quite a bit of catching up to do after all the lessons I missed. Luckily I've got her." _Oh Rob, you've no idea how lucky I am to have met your daughter. _"So this is dinner is to thank her for helping me." I lied smoothly.

"That's my Emily, always helping out." Rob puffed his chest out with pride. I can see that he really loves her. "How did you injure yourself?" He asked, seemingly concerned.

"Tore my hamstring in one of my matches." I shrugged. I didn't like to talk much about that. It feels like a constant reminder that I can't be back to playing basketball for a while and I kinda really miss that.

"Oh you play? – "

"Basketball for the school team yeah."

"That's great! You're a fit girl aren't ya?" Rob's eyes brightened up. "Do any running?"

"A little, mostly sprints during practice and sometimes I go to the gym too."

"Oh we own a gym, did Emily tell you? Just a small one. So I make sure all the kids are fit and healthy! Emily's got great stamina from all the morning jogging sessions we had last time…"

This was nice. Talking to Rob Fitch was nice, not at all intrusive or awkward. He seemed genuinely interested and passionate about fitness. He was chatty enough to get the conversation going which I admit I'm not much of the chatty type. I almost forgot his wife was sitting quietly in the same living room.

"Wow you're fucking hot!"

I whipped my head around at those words that were definitely not from Emily. Instead I saw a pint-sized boy with light brown hair with face full of baby fat, leaning over at the armrest of the sofa with his elbows and propping his head up with his hands. He had a wide grin on his face. He was about ten or so. This must be Emily's little brother, the James Fitch.

"Erm thanks?" I was unsure whether I should accept the compliment, especially when it came from Emily's little prepubescent brother. Not quite sure whether the prepubescent part still applies though.

"James! Language! – and manners!" Jenna exclaimed, horrified and tried to grab him. James Fitch wriggled out from her grasp and settled himself beside me, not very close but still rather inappropriately.

"Do you have a boyfriend? Can I be your boyfriend?" James Fitch asked bluntly and oh so innocently.

I gave a chuckle. Yeah James Cook and James Fitch should never meet. I could already see a slight resemblance between these two. I would believe the latter could possibly be a long lost brother of the former.

I ruffled his hair, "Probably not, you're a little young for me."

"Aww, Gordon McPherson says you'll get the girls if you tell them straight that they're fucking hot." He slumped his shoulders but not looking too dejected.

Whoever Gordon McPherson is, I'm sure he doesn't get the girls.

"Rob! Do something!" Jenna beseeched her husband who was actually chuckling quietly at this unfortunate exchange.

"Alright kid," He tried to pull a straight face, "Ten reps on the naughty bar."

"Why!" James shouted indignantly.

"No swearing in this house kid. Go. And proper extension boy."

It was then that I saw there was a metal bar placed across the doorway to the hall.

"That's pretty neat." I said. "I use to do chin-ups when I was training."

"Really?" Rob sounded amazed. "How many can you do?"

"About five or so, I'm not that strong." At the background, James was counting and panting heavily as he pulled himself up. Barely making five, he collapsed on the floor in a heap.

"That's fantastic! I like this girl!" Rob turned excitedly to Jenna. Obviously the way into Rob Fitch's heart was through chin-ups. "I could give you a few pointers if you show me how you do them." He rattled on.

Oh no my rose is definitely going to get crumpled or revealed! There's no way I could not avoid removing the jacket.

"Rob! The poor girl's injured!" Jenna came to my rescue and I was never so relieved. She shooed James upstairs before he could continue with more inappropriate come-ons.

"Ah right." Rob look a little abashed but his eyes gleamed with a certain shine that I could have sworn it was interest and admiration.

"So Naomi," Jenna turned my attention to her, "Any significant boy in your life?"

She's probably just making conversation but why do I feel like I'm in some interrogation session now? I'll gladly do those chin-ups and let Rob correct my technique until Emily appears. Why is she taking so long!

"No…" I gave a small uncomfortable laugh and sat straighter, the base of the wrapper flower digging into my lower abdomen.

"Why not?" Rob asked in a rather surprised tone. "You're a rather pretty girl. I'm sure all the lads would be lining up to date you."

"Guess I never met the right one." I answered. _And also because I'm so smitten with your daughter, I don't have any time to notice any boys. Not that I care to anyway._

"Does Emily have a boy she likes?" Jenna asked, "Because she seems to be smiling and looking happy recently."

ME. I wanted to announce that that someone is not some boy but I. Wait, could I be the one creating that smile on Emily's face even if I'm not physically with her?

"I'm not too sure about that really." I desperately wished this conversation would end and put me out of this awkwardness. I wanted to tell them how much I like their daughter and that thinking about her just makes my heart flutter ceaselessly with joy. I wanted to tell them that I could make her just as happy or even happier than anyone else could. But I couldn't. I was in no position. Hell I'm not even her girlfriend yet but I knew that I'd have to tackle the parent situation eventually if Emily was mine one day.

"Naoms, we can go now." My favourite voice in the world called out to me.

Emily materialised out of nowhere and was standing at the foot of the stairs smiling at me. I stood up abruptly as my gaze fell on her.

She was wearing a white floral printed dress that fitted well and accentuated her waist. She also had on a black cardigan. Her hair, which was straight and fell delicately on her shoulders, was freshly dyed in a deep shade of red that shone with pizzazz. She had her fringe pinned up which totally shaped her face well and suited her. It would be succinct if I said she looked like an angel in my eyes; she lit up my world.

Did you hear that sound? That was the sound of my heart swooning so hard and loudly.

I forgot Rob and Jenna were still in the same room. I forgot where I was. There was only Emily in my vision, looking absolutely fucking beautiful, radiant, ravishing and gorgeous. The thesaurus simply does not have enough words to describe how wonderful Emily looked. Kissing her was my top top top priority on the things-to-do-on-this-date list. I just had to, somehow.

My jaw would hurt if I continued smiling so widely. Emily blushed a little looked slightly shy as I finally found my words.

"Have fun girls." Rob winked waved us off. I'm sure he didn't mean for it to be _that_ way – if you know what I mean; it would've been more of what my mom would do. Jenna nodded and sat there with a tight smile that honestly looked a bit worrying.

I fucking hope I haven't given anything away. It's just so hard to restrain my facial expressions when I'm around Emily. It seems like my expressions come out unfettered and natural. That should be the way when you like someone isn't it? I can't help myself.

I said my goodbyes again as Rob eagerly insisted that I come over for dinner one day. Oh yeah, he seems to like me quite a bit.

Emily shut the door behind her and we walked down the pathway as fast as we could. Turning left, we headed down the road; out of any line of sight one can see from the house. The bus stop was just a few more steps away but I slowed my pace. There wasn't a single soul in sight. That's even better; I wanted to give Emily a proper greeting.

I smiled, again, because I couldn't help myself. "You look beautiful," I earnestly and sincerely told her.

Emily's face lit up slow and bright like the blush of the rising sun; the corners of her lips tugged up a little first, then spread wide and unrestrained. Her cheeks had just a tincture of red and she had just minimal eyeliner on. Her lips look so soft and inviting. It has been – what? two days or so since I last had the privilege of kissing them – her. It was just too damn fucking long.

"You're beautiful too." Emily shyly said and stepped closer to me.

Heat rushed through my body as the distance between us diminished. My heart began to speed up to its normal rate whenever I'm this close to Emily. _Kiss her._ My heart commanded. _Take it slow like how she wants it._ My brain reasoned. Guess who won?

"I've something for you." I watched her pretty brown eyes light up in surprise when I said that. "Unzip me." I didn't mean for that to come across so sexual but – you know – it just came out like that. Plus I like to tease her, push the boundaries without stepping over them.

"Are you the present?" She teased back, lowing her husky voice a notch. I was this close to grabbing her but unfortunately my hands are currently occupied with holding the crutches.

"I would like to think so, but no, I've something else for you."

Emily raised her both hands and brought them to the zipped at the top of my jacket near the base of my throat. Using fingers from her left hand to hold one side of the jacket, she pinched the zipped with both her thumb and index on the right hand, pulling it oh so slowly and hesitantly. The sound of the zip undone groaned long and low. My body involuntarily shuddered and a breath of shaky air escaped from my mouth. This was not supposed to be such a turn on. What is it about everything that she does that makes my hormones go all crazed?

"Oh!" Emily gave a tiny exclamation as she extracted the wrapped up flower. At least it wasn't looking too crumpled or withered from getting smothered in my jacket. "This is lovely!" Her voice was laced with absolute happiness. I had no doubt that she loved it. I don't know if she was the type of girl that liked to receive flowers, I know some don't care for them, but I figured, everyone likes to receive flowers, I would, some just pretend they don't want them. It was a cliché present.

Hey, but I reckon a few couple of clichés here and there means that all things are going well isn't it? There's a reason why they exist, so they can help first dates be perfect. I hope all these are perfect to her.

"You're lovely. I love it." Emily murmured as she tilted her head, leant in and placed a soft lingering kiss on my cheek.

I smiled wider than I've never smiled before. My heart sprouted wings and thumped around blindly in my chest. I was sure somewhere in the world, some country had multicoloured fireworks going on at this very moment.

"I'm glad you do." I returned, feeling a little giddy with happiness from that innocent tiny kiss.

"But I didn't get you anything." She replied sounding disappointed at her lack.

"Doesn't matter, you're all that I want today." Emily blushed hard at those words. That was smooth Naomi, smooth. Bloody charming too, I must congratulate myself on that.

"My dad seems to like you." Emily said after recovering.

"I admit I'm rather likable." I teased and Emily pushed my arm playfully. "But your mom seems rather… uptight." I chose my words carefully.

"Don't worry about her, she's always kinda reserved."

I nodded, hoping what Emily said was true and not that Jenna had found something she didn't like about me.

"So where are you taking me?" Emily asked.

"Somewhere, some place nice. You'll find out soon." I said deliberately ambiguously, enjoying how Emily's nose wrinkled up in feigned annoyance. "Come on the bus is here."

.

.

After the half hour of bus ride with great conversation, we ended up on the other side of town, one of the more quiet parts, somewhere that had less people on the streets. I figured Emily would be more at ease if there were a lesser chance of bumping into people she knew on the street.

There were a few parallel-parked cars beside the stretch of shops. Some of them sold clothes; some were bars. It was fifteen after six and the bars were still empty. They usually were full later at night.

We were walking side by side, as closely as I could without bumping into her. I wanted to hold her hand so badly, to tangle my fingers with hers, to feel the sensation of palm-to-palm warmth or just – any form of contact with her. But I was using those damn crutches and I don't know if I was allowed to hold her hand, because – you know – she isn't my girlfriend.

"Are you going to tell me where you're taking me now?" Emily said with an amused smile.

"Just a couple of doors more."

Finally we arrived at an opened dark wooden door. Dull-gold metal with the numbers "Forty-nine" were pasted there beside the door by the wall. Right outside by the pathway was a body-length standing foldable chalkboard with handwritten words that read: 'FOOD THERAPY. Daily artisanal blends for the daily grind. Espresso bar. Jing tea. Handcrafted beers. Boutique wines. Café & Bar.' A drawn arrow pointed through that door.

"This is it." I said and let her through first before following after.

The café was tucked away on the second floor. We crossed over a carpet of acrylic green grass before ascending a flight of wooden stairs. Each thump of our footsteps up was like the sound of my anxious yet excited heart.

Emily opened the door, which kind of resembled the door of a house and stepped in. I watched her eyes take in the surroundings with anticipation.

Honestly it wasn't much of a place. The café was divided in to two areas. On one side of the room, there were wooden tables coupled with mismatched chairs that were occupied by a few people. There was also a bar counter which was decorated with beers. Behind the counter sat an espresso machine and a stove. The other side of the room was more like a living room. There were couches with coffee tables, bookshelves, plants and stuff. It sort of had a concept like having a café in your very own house. It wasn't a poshy fantastic place but I liked it. It was one of my favourite hangout places, totally chill; a kind of secret place of mine that I rarely bring others to. It had great food, great beer and great owners.

"Naomi! It's been long!" Debbie came up and gave me a hug. She was about my height, had a bob of black short hair, dark brown eyes and a cheery personality. She co-owned this café with her business partner Will. He came up and gave a hug too. He was much taller, lean, had a mob of curly brown hair and piercing green eyes.

"Now who is this?" Will asked, his green eyes twinkling, turning his attention to Emily.

"Emily." I replied promptly, a huge smile overtaking my face as I introduced the very girl that has been recently invading my thoughts and dreams. "This is Debbie and Will."

"Hi, very nice to meet you." Emily said shyly and gave them a smile.

"Your new girl eh?" Debbie grinned at me.

"Not yet but I'm working on it." I said as though she wasn't standing there listening to this and winked at Emily as she blushed.

"It's not fair, you always get all the pretty girls." Will complained in a whiny tone.

"Must be something lucky about me then." I smirked at him.

I thought Emily looked a little uncomfortable and I wondered if I had gone too far. Maybe I shouldn't have told Debbie and Will that outright, maybe she felt that she was pressured into becoming my girlfriend, but I just can't help telling people how happy I am to have found this wonderful girl.

As Emily walked ahead and selected a seat, Debbie whispered in my ear, "She seems like a really nice and decent girl. Careful you don't break this one's heart yeah."

First impressions really do matter. Debbie has barely known Emily for five minutes yet she thinks she's a good catch. There must be something special or some kind of alluring quality about her. There has to be, or I wouldn't be that fascinated by her.

"I won't. She's special." I returned in a low tone. I meant it.

Will gave me a thumb's up behind Emily, cheekily pointed at his butt and mouthed 'great ass'. I flipped him off and flashed him warning daggers with my eyes. No one's supposed to check my Emily out, even if they meant no harm. Oh my god I just said _my_ Emily. Fucking hell I'm starting to behave like she's mine already.

We sat at a square table for two at a more private corner near the window over looking the street. It was already dusk and the streetlights have lit up creating this faint glow and casting murky shadows of passing people. The lights at Food Therapy were a warm orange and soft music was playing in the background, creating a cosy ambience. A good many tables were occupied but it wasn't noisy; there was enough chatter to create a café vibe yet one could hold a private conversation easily.

"What can I get you?" Debbie asked me, without even producing the menu.

"A bottle of Brothers Toffee Apple to start off and definitely the poached eggs on toast. Could you do pancakes today too? Emily loves pancakes." I glanced at Emily with a quick smile.

"You know we only serve them for brunch – "

"Pleeeeeease?" I dragged out, putting on my best pleading voice.

Debbie rolled her eyes, "But it will be done for Emily." She finished off, giving Emily a wink.

"You're the best!" I called after Debbie as she left.

"They serve breakfast at this time?" Emily asked, looking a little confused.

"Oh yeah, they serve all day breakfast, only the pancakes is a brunch item but they're awesome and you gotta have them."

Emily smiled and lowered her head, playing with her fingers on the table. I had a sudden urge to take her hand in mine but I grabbed the cup of water on the table and took a sip.

"So what do you think about this place?" I asked.

"I really like it." Her face lit up and I truly believed her. "It's got a homely touch and Debbie and Will seem like really nice people. You come here often?" I picked up an uncertain questioning tone to that question.

"Yeah, sometimes… it's a really quiet place to just be, you know." I replied cautiously.

Emily gave a small nod but fell silent. Her eyes avoided mine as the looked out of the window at nothing. My heart dropped down a level. Something seemed to be bugging her.

"Em," I called her nickname I have started to take a liking to, "What's wrong?"

She looked back at me and I can see so many fears and emotions in her eyes. They looked scared, scared of getting hurt, of being hurt – by me. _She's afraid of getting hurt by me._

"It's nothing," Emily shook her head and gave a weak smile. "It just seems like – you bring a lot of – of girls here. Never mind, I'm just being stupid – we're not – never mind." And it kinda broke me a little that she thought she was that insignificant yet I could see it in a way that she's a little – jealous? Can I say that? Is that good, in a way?

"I don't bring many girls here. A few times yeah, but – you're not just another girl to me. If I could just – you don't know how – happy – you've made me just being with me today – or any day. I know I had a lot going on but you mean so much to me now, more than anyone I've ever had." I wanted her to really know that.

I don't want another pretty face; I don't want just anyone to hold. Emily wasn't just another random pretty girl to me. She's the one that I wanted desperately to hold, to wrap her up in my arms, snuggle together on couches, cuddle in bed and talk about our future days. It shocks me how far I had let my want for her make me imagine blissful days being with her. I could foresee myself being infinitely happy when I was with her.

And I could almost say, I did quite love her. It's not the sixty years of togetherness kind of love but the initial pure bloom of baby love or overwhelming infatuation, you know, like the initial love stage when you're just being with that one person.

So yes, though it might sound frivolous, I love her.

Because what is there not to love about Emily? She may come across as shy, quiet, a pushover or just a plain boring girl who is in her sister's shadow, but the Emily I see had so much love for her friends, a fiercely loyal heart, a passion for things that interest her and exceeding patience with stubborn people like myself. Plus she's smart, caring, she laughs at my jokes, pretty, blushes easily when I tease her and has this amazing husky quality in her voice. Above all, there's something about her soul that shines so very brightly, almost white hot and blazing, pure and precious. Her soul is beautiful.

I can't just say I like a girl like that; 'like' is a far too tepid a word. There's nothing between 'like' and 'love' but I'd pick 'love' because it better justifies my feelings for her.

She might need time to think it over, whether I'm what she wanted, but I'm fine just letting us move forward like that. I will do all I can to ease her mind if only she gives me the chance to let us try.

And what I said did seem to ease her because she slipped into her usual self again and I had just the most amazing time with her. We talked about everything and nothing, books, movies, music, the economy, her brother, my mom, basketball. And when we had nothing to say, I sat there smiling at her comfortably like I could have no other expression tonight but to smile endlessly.

We devoured the food and she ate the pancakes with great gusto, almost literally licking every crumb and dollop of maple syrup off the plate and declaring it the best she ever had. That made Debbie really happy and we got two big scoops of vanilla ice cream on our waffle dessert instead of the usual one.

We polished the plate and sat back full, satisfied, content and happy. I was happier than I had ever been. I could get addicted to this kind of happiness. She was the one for me. Then again, when you develop an infatuation for someone, you always find reasons to believe that this is exactly the person for you. And I really do believe she's the one for me.

.

.

After another bottle of cider, we left the café with Emily promising Debbie and Will she'll return. It was already close to ten. It's scary how hours seem to blaze through and vanish in an instant when I'm spending time with her. It was even like that when we were studying together. It was too fast and too soon.

The bus we boarded was quite empty and we chose a two-seater seat far back. I scooted in closer to her, letting our outer thighs and shoulders press against each other and delighted when she even leaned slightly against me.

Emily stifled a yawn and slid lower down the seat.

"Sleepy?" I asked.

"I'm so full from all the food." Emily gave a sheepish smile, her eyes almost half lidded and her hand rubbing her stomach.

I daringly slid my right arm around her waist, settling my hand on her hip and pressed myself closer to her. "Take a nap, I'll wake you up when we reach."

To my delight, Emily tucked her left arm behind me and placed her right arm gently on my stomach. She rested her head on my inner right shoulder, near the crook of my neck and snuggled into me giving a quiet and contented sigh.

My heart started to beat faster as the warmth of Emily's body enveloped all around me. My hand on her hip was locked still into place. I was afraid if I moved it, she'd move away from me, and I can't let that happen. This was the most intimate I'd been with her today that didn't involve kissing like the previous time. I breathed deeply and took in her scent as I rested my cheek against the top of her head, feeling suddenly very complete.

I looked down and saw her right hand spread out flat against my shirt on my stomach. There was something I was itching to do all night.

I slid my left hand close to her hand and touched the tips of my fingers with hers first before slowly lifting her fingers and slipped under them, interlocking the gaps of our fingers together. Emily gave a small sigh and a faint smile ghosted her lips as she gently squeezed my hand that has been encased in mine. This to me is a sign that she's okay with this, that she wanted this too.

My heart swelled and pounded as I relished the sensation this simple handholding. Who knew such a simple action could feel so intimate and so innocent at the same time. It felt like the whole world was at my fingertips at this moment. This was even more significant as it is the first time we properly held hands, even if it was at the back of an empty bus. She let me hold hers without breaking away, even squeezing mine back. I looked down at our hands in awe. Her hand seemed to just fit perfectly into mine as if it was meant to be that way. This felt beautiful and satisfying. It brought us a step closer to each other and my fondness for her increased ten fold. I can't even describe this awesome and grand feeling was settling in me right now.

I thought about the possibilities of us being together. What we would do on dates, where would we go so the world would just disappear and we'd just exist, how this has changed my life and how much I was looking forward to spend all of my waking days with her. We're not even together yet but this feels so much like a proper first date, one that promised me of more to come.

.

.

We alighted the bus and took a slow quiet walk back to Emily's house. No words were exchanged. Both of us seemed to dwell in that comfortable silence and what we just shared on the bus. I glanced at her ever so often, fascinated about the way the streetlights lit up her beautiful face with an angelic glow. She was perfect.

I stopped walking when her house was just a turn and down the street away.

"I had a great time tonight." I told her softly.

"So did I." Emily stepped closer to me such that we were standing and facing each other, an arms length away.

"Yeah?" I put my crutches down on the ground, a smile gracing my lips and I stepped closer to her. "If you'd rate it out of ten, how much would you give?" The street was dead empty. I reached out and hesitantly put my hands around her waist. Emily automatically lifted her arms and placed them on either side of my shoulder.

Taking this as a good sign, I pulled her closer, placing my left hand on her lower back while the other one came up and brushed the hair, tucking it above her left ear. Emily's hands started to fiddle with the collar on my shirt and my heart rate started to increase as she tilted her head and thought for a bit. We were standing away from the streetlamp but I could see every nuance in her expression.

"I'd give it a nine." She smiled happily, her eyes fixed on mine, waiting for my reaction.

"Just a nine?" I pouted slightly. "I thought it felt like a ten." Her eyes flicked briefly down to my lips and my brain started screaming how much I wanted to kiss her but I didn't know if I should.

"So – there'll be an improvement – next time." She blushed and ducked her head, looking at me so damn shyly through the curl of her eyelashes. I felt like exploding with excitement. There is a next time! She wanted a next time!

"Do you already want to go on another date with me?" I asked. I could hear the giddy excited smile in my voice. I leaned my face closer into her and felt her hands tightened around my neck as she released a breath my lips could almost taste.

"O-only if you want to." Her voice lowered and she gulped.

"I'd love to." I whispered to her.

Our noses grazed lightly. The tip of my nose stroked the length of hers and I gently bumped them together. I saw her lips break out into another bashful smile, her eyes looking shyly at me. My heart swooned so badly again. I tilted my head, angling it to hers and matched her smile. Our breaths mingled as not one of us dared to close that gap between us. My heart was beating so fast yet again; a gallon of blood was rushing into my head; I was in euphoria. This girl has completely captured my heart.

Fuck the rules already. I can't control myself anymore. There was absolutely no way I could resist her lips.

I leaned down a little more and gently pressed my lips against hers. Every fibre in my body stood to attention, tingled and jostled as I felt her smooth lips move slowly against mine. Something warm spread itself over my chest and ignited me. Oh how much I have yearned for this all day. I tightened my arms around her and we sucked out the air between us before breaking apart. It wasn't like that kiss we had on my bed. This was slow, simple and chaste but it still made my heartbeats trip over each other in a frenzy and fall harder for her. I sighed contentedly and stared in amazement as I watched her eyelids flutter open. I swear I already memorised the way her eyelashes moved.

"Eleven." She whispered softly only for my own ears. "I changed my mind, it's a eleven."

"I find it hard to improve on that next time." I teased. Her hand behind my neck was playing with the hair there and I really liked that.

Emily smiled softly, "I have to go now." There was reluctance in her voice but I knew the night would have to end somehow. This was a perfect ending.

"Okay." I slowly removed my hands and she adjusted my collar before lowering hers. We stood there just smiling at each other, both of us not wanting to be the first to move away. "I'll text you later." I finally said.

She nodded and picked up my crutches for me before turning and walked away.

I watched her turn the corner with a final wave, the flower I'd given her placed safely in her bag.

I looked skyward and raised my crutches in a triumphant way, restraining myself from shouting in glee, a huge smile on my face. I took a huge breath, breathing in and filling my lungs with the cold air. I was on cloud nine, ecstatic and elated. The stars seemed to gaze down at me twinkling happily in approval of this very special night.

She's the one I want to chase. I'd chase Emily so hard and so fast that she'll have nowhere to turn or run, that she would just have to give in and fall into my arms and let me hold her like how I plan to.

_I'm not gonna let you have a choice. I will make you mine. I want you and your beautiful soul._

* * *

><p>AN: Seems like nothing much happened and not quite the date you'd expect init? I admit, it's not skins-y, but I've other remote plans. Future updates might be less lengthy and take a while since real life is really hectic now. I like to think my track record's not bad as compared to the other more popular stories out there that seem to update after eons.

Once again thanks for reading and do let me know what you liked, hated, improvements to be made, suggestions for the future, anything. It helps. Cheers.


	16. Be Be Your Love

Thanks to **blueMoon28, ReadingNaomilyAllDayErDay, i got caught, fookyeahskins, .blah, Alice Boricua, Crevette, mUfF MuNcHeR, fakevegan, kelevra2510, ToasterOven, desertdessert and marketfresh** who left me a really long private message. You all made my day. I'm a little troubled that Jesse McCartney stole my story's limelight. :D I'm not mainstream when it comes to music, trust me; this song somehow fits.

Sorry I took a while. RL's been hectic and distracting. Had to re-plan this story, rearrange parts and stuff. Don't want to write myself into a corner; that would be tragic wouldn't it. I hope my rusty words don't show. I hope you'll like this one. I know I said chapters are going to be shorter but I've compensated the absence with length.

And I've just finished the two seasons of Sherlock. The reference is easy to spot.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixteen – Be Be Your Love<strong>

**Emily**

**I'm here. – Naomi**

This was a text I just received from Naomi. My lips spread into a secret happy smile as I glanced around the room to make sure Katie wasn't looking at me. No worries, she was deeply engrossed in applying her makeup by the mirror.

"I'm going early." I informed Katie and I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder.

"What? Again?" Katie half exclaimed and questioned as the paused midway while applying her mascara. "What about breakfast?"

"I'll grab something along the way." I replied already a foot out our bedroom door, not wanting to linger too long in case Katie asked more questions.

I vaguely heard some muffled reply from Katie as I padded softly down the stairs, meeting my mom at the foot of them.

"Not having any breakfast dear?" My mom asked.

"Nope, gotta get to school earlier – stuff to do." I lied with a tiny tinge of guilt.

"Alright, have a good day then. Try to eat something before class." She smiled and kissed me on my head.

I let myself out of the house and walked with a trained stifled eagerness down the pathway, turning right and around the corner.

This was just the third time over the past two weeks. On the very first, Naomi appeared right at my doorstep. Thankfully I was already dressed for school. She had hot chocolate and a bun in her hand, free from crutches. She claimed that this was a celebration with me that she was able to be free from crutches even though she couldn't walk as fast without them. I'd like to think that she was just making excuses to walk me to school. Needless to say I freaked out a bit at her unexpected arrival. I didn't want Katie or my parents to let on about Naomi's relationship with me.

I mean I really wish I could tell Katie about this. People usually think that being twins, our relationship with each other would be close. Yeah I mean, I guess there's some truth in it. We were close as kids, in a way. We laughed together, cried together, fought together and even took a dump together till we were nine. Growing up a little didn't change too much, we just didn't wear the same clothes anymore or use the same bed sheets but when Katie got interested in boys, she always discussed them with me, her glamourous fairytale dreams that always ended with a perfect wedding. It just exacerbated to a point that she got a little too self absorbed with herself but the fact is we still talk, about herself that is, while I just sat there and let her, never wondering why I didn't exactly share the same dreams.

However when Katie somehow latched on from mom, which I'd no idea how she thought this up, that I liked a boy in school, she buggered me nonstop asking for details or a clue of the boy. Suddenly the topic of interest was shifted to me and I did consider if revealing that the boy was actually Naomi wasn't too bad at all. Then again I remembered that Katie disliked Naomi because she was gay. That just makes me stop right there and think. Was I actually gay? Will Katie hate me too if I was? I'm still Emily, you know, if that is worth something. I was just torn between what I really feel and what I feel I needed to conform to.

After the very first surprise visit, I forbade Naomi to drop by in the morning. All it took her was to flash her bright blue sad eyes and pout cutely; I succumbed and relented allowing her to meet me around the corner down the road, away from my house with a condition that she couldn't do it every morning. It's not that I'm ashamed of Naomi; it's far from that. I wanted to shout at the world and let them know how fucking happy I was that she liked me. _Me_, Emily Fitch. Never in my wildest dreams. I wanted to tell them what a beautiful, gorgeous, smart and witty girl Naomi was, so full of goodness and the perfect person for me. There was so much bursting out of me that it was really hard for me to contain all these emotions. So what was I afraid of? Disapproval from my loved ones. That was my greatest fear. We still live in a conservative society no matter how much the society can tell us they're 'open-minded'. I can say, fuck them all to those that don't know who I am but if my family, the blood that runs in my veins turn their backs on me, it certainly would matter a lot.

I could only take this one tiny step at a time. I hope Naomi would be patient enough and think I'm worth it to stick with me.

Then I saw her as I rounded the corner, right at the same spot she waited for me the last time. This time, her back was leaning casually on the fence with her left foot propped up and on the fence. She was eating something out of a paper bag; her eyes rested lazily on the empty street as she chewed on. Her other hand held a paper multi-cup holder with sealed cups and another brown paper bag. Light has just started to seep into the world through the thick blue sky yet it was enough to cast a faint golden glow on the earth, strategically basking Naomi in it, making her look even more breathtaking. She was just in a pair of faded grey jeans, white t-shirt under a black unzipped hoodie and red vans, yet her leaning like that on the fence was just the perfect picture of ease. The golden rays seem to bring out the blondness of her hair, which was in a messy ponytail, making it look even more strikingly fucking beautiful. I swear I can never swoon hard enough even though I see her almost everyday.

My foot crunched on a dried leaf as I walked over. The sound of it alerted Naomi and she snapped her head up in my direction. She stopped mid-chew, mouth full and one cheek puffy but a wide smile was spread across her face that reached her eyes and warmed my heart with it. I don't think I can ever get used to seeing that smile, which seemed to be just for me, on her face, every time. She crushed the paper bag in her hand and hastily swallowed the food.

"Hi." I gave a small wave as I approached Naomi.

"Hi." She smiled, putting her foot back firmly on the pavement. We started walking down the pavement. "So I got you a croissant and hot chocolate today." She passed me a brown paper bag that still felt rather hot.

"You finished your bread already?" I asked as I reached to take my cup of hot chocolate but Naomi shook her head and pulled it out of reach.

"Yup so I'll hold it for you. Don't want the same tragic thing to happen again." She gave a cheeky smile at me.

"What!" I huffed indignantly. "It was just that once!"

On the previous time, I was holding the bun in one hand and the cup in another. I was trying to wriggle the last bite of the bun all the way from the bottom of the bag to the surface with one hand. Being really unsuccessful, I tried to multitask, using the other hand that was clutching the cup to assist the other. Somehow I managed to bimbotically drop the cup, spilling hot chocolate all over the sidewalk and barely missing Naomi's shoes. I'm usually not that clumsy but I could feel Naomi staring at me, which always makes me really nervous in some strange way.

"Oh admit it, you have small clumsy hands." Naomi teased me, her eyes twinkling with mischievousness.

"I do not!"

"Yes you do." She retorted in a singsong manner, trying to wind me up.

"Do not!"

Naomi shook her head and chuckled.

"Prove it!"

"Give me your hand."

I wasn't expecting that but I held out my left hand with my palm facing upward thinking she was going to perform some sort of test. Instead, she placed her right palm right on top and laced her fingers through mine. She brought our hands between us and gave a little squeeze. All the teasing was forgotten. A strange fluttering sensation erupted in the pit of my stomach, spreading throughout my body. My heart did violent somersaults, threatening to burst out of my chest. I felt my lips pull up into a smile as I shyly looked at Naomi, noting that she was also looking at me with the same shyness with an unsure expression on her face, like she didn't know if this was okay. Her cheeks were a shade of light pink and she was biting her lip, waiting for my reaction.

We hadn't held hands since the moment on the bus ride. That night, Naomi surprised me then, pulling me close to her side and almost enveloping me. I had instinctively wrapped my arms around and snuggled into her shoulder, relishing with delight the warmness of her body and her scent swimming in my head. All sleepiness had left me and all my sensors became alert. I pressed myself into her as much as I dared, hoping that she wouldn't feel my frantic beating heart that was certain to give me away. I had shut my eyes, pretending I was taking a nap. I was afraid that if I was 'awake', I wouldn't be able to snuggle with her. The truth was that I was just savouring that very moment, where nothing seemed to matter, and time just suspended, and the world and it's noises faded away into something less significant than this. When I thought it couldn't get any better, she slipped her fingers through mine, hesitantly, wanting, and my heart just exploded with joy. I've never felt so complete.

However since then, Naomi seemed to take things slowly. She hasn't pushed me much but seemed to let me decide the pace. The worst thing about it was that I feel that I'm practically not doing anything to encourage her. I'm totally out of my depth here. I don't know what to do or how to give those bloody signals. All I know is I was all ready to be her girlfriend. If she'd asked me again on that date that night, I think I would have readily agreed. But during these past two weeks, she had made no attempt to kiss me or hold my hand. I was starting to worry if she'd lost interest in me. We still talked a lot, joked and teased, it was all the same, the usual comfortableness; it was as though we didn't kiss in her bedroom or went on that wonderful date.

But her holding my hand now just eradicates all my inner fears.

Naomi pulled me closer to her until our shoulders were just touching; my insides bubbled with happiness at our proximity.

"Is this okay?" Naomi asked quietly, her voice low and cautious.

I shrugged and gave a confused half shake and half nod with my head. I was torn. Yes it was okay but yet I was still in the neighbourhood where I lived…

"K-Katie might see." I stuttered, suddenly feeling paranoid and nervous as though Katie was really just going to jump out from nowhere.

"Oh." Naomi sounded disappointed and reluctantly released her grip. My hand felt a sudden loss of warmth. The twinkle in her blue eyes was gone and I felt really bad for putting on her my baggage full of insecurities. I hated not admitting what I wanted.

"I'm sorry." I lowered my head and stared at the ground our steps continued to cover.

There was a silence, only punctuated by our footsteps and a passing car whizzing by. _I fucked it up. Naomi's not going to think I'm worth it._

"I know this is kind of – new for you, even for me," Naomi broke the silence, her hand that held mine a moment ago was firmly tucked in the pocket of her hoodie, "And maybe, it will still be like that if we – if we are together." Her cheeks flushed at that again. "But I don't mind. I'll wait for you, if – if you want me to."

She looked at me with her eyes full of sincerity, anxiousness and truth in them. _I'm already yours._ I wanted to tell that to her. _I just need some time._

When someone that perfect like that comes around, you grab her and hold on to her. Letting her walk by would be the biggest mistake of my life.

Recklessness rushed through me. I reached out and grabbed her forearm. Pulling her nearer, I tilted my head up a fraction and pressed a firm kiss on her cheek, retracting quickly after. My heart was running a thousand miles an hour; blood rushed to my head at this impulsive act. Was it enough to tell her everything I couldn't say?

I was rewarded with a small smile at first. Naomi's eyes were filled with surprise. Just the corners of her lips twitched upward. Then it bloomed into a wider smile as she lightly touched the part where I kissed her. The way she looked at me was different now; her eyes were boring into mine, like it was more – contemplative, searching.

"You didn't like that?" I joked.

Naomi lifted her head and pretended to think, "Well it could be better if it was here." She tapped her index finger to her pink lips, pouting them a little, setting a trap. If I weren't careful I'd get ensnared in it.

"In your dreams Campbell." I laughed and edged away from her, breaking into a small run. I knew she wasn't serious.

"Not fair!" I heard her huff behind me as she slowly caught up to me, trying hard not to hurt her leg again. She gave a small poke at my ribs and I squealed, slapping her hand away.

I've never felt so comfortable with anyone in my life. We continued our light bickering and conversation, bumping our shoulders all the way to school. If only every day started out like that.

.

.

I stood outside the hallway, nervously, bouncing on the balls of my feet. Adjusting the bag on my shoulder, I absent-mindedly scanned the corridor, barely looking at the streams of noisy students pouring through doors. Most of them had just finished their last class of the day.

I wasn't waiting for Naomi; I was waiting for James. Yeah, I guess there's a limit to the amount of times I could turn him down. It wasn't a date or anything; I'd decided to honestly tell him that we couldn't be more than friends, not because I was waiting for Naomi, but because I wasn't attracted to him like how I was attracted to Naomi. Even if Naomi and I weren't together in the future, and I hope that isn't gonna be that way, there was still no way I would consider him. I couldn't be selfish and continue to lead him on, letting him assume we had something going on.

Loud chatter broke through my thoughts. I looked up and saw the very girl in my subconscious slowly descending a flight of stairs with a girl I didn't recognise beside her. The girl was about the same height as Naomi was. She had broad shoulders, a slim figure and toned arms. Her hair was long, a shade of wood brown and slightly wavy. She was wearing a simple white short sleeve blouse and black jeans that encased her long and slim legs. I think the thing that got me was that she was walking really close beside Naomi, really too fucking close. My eyes narrowed imperceptibly and my brows knitted together as I witnessed that unknown girl talk animatedly with Naomi and gave Naomi the deftest of touches with her hands. And the worse part was that Naomi was responding with one of her delicious laughs.

An irrational senseless fireball of jealousy flared up in me yet a small slice of cold sadness slipped through all that green envy. I couldn't, should not, feel that way. Naomi wasn't mine and I had absolutely no right to feel so possessive over her. She was technically single to everyone else and very attractive; it's no wonder that other girls have her in their sights.

It was almost like déjà vu all over again, like how I had met Angela and Naomi haven't even started to notice me. I could almost imagine that girl suddenly grabbing Naomi and giving her a kiss right in the middle of that hallway and Naomi would respond in the same way. No – that wouldn't be right. Naomi likes me right? Those kisses she gave me and that handholding must've meant something isn't it? I shouldn't doubt her or myself; we have something going on between us and I shouldn't think that way, but that didn't mean I was okay with her laughing with other girls.

I tried very hard to push my insecurities aside. The less I see, the less my thoughts go wild. I ducked my head and quickly attempted to disappear.

"Emily!"

_Oh fuck, too late._

Naomi approached me, her eyes sparkling with a shine of delight that seemed to brighten and lift my heart. I'd like to hope that the shine in her eyes was only for me. Unknown girl followed close behind, looking rather curiously at me.

"Hey." I gave a slight smile, feeling unsure and strange in the presence of someone else I don't know.

"Where're you going?" Naomi asked.

"Uh…" I hesitated. "Home." I don't think I want to tell her that I'm meeting James. "You?" I asked.

"Practice – oh, this is Sophia." Naomi flicked her hand casually to the girl beside her. It was like that girl wasn't so important right now. That got me slightly relieved. "She's gonna replace me for a few matches because I still can't play. Nothing near as good as me but – OW!" Sophia smacked Naomi's forearm.

"Don't be so full of yourself!" Sophia grinned, her hazel brown eyes twinkling at Naomi, "I might replace you for good."

"You wish. Ow, that hurt." Naomi rubbed her palm against her arm.

"Oh sorry." Sophia replied. She reached up and rubbed that spot where she smacked Naomi, her palm gently gliding up and down the length of Naomi's forearm. "Better?" Her voice had gone soft.

My eyes collected all data and dissected each action. _Lingering touch. Glances, no, stares. Close proximity. Smiles. Flick of her hair. Sweet voice. Overstepping boundaries._ No shit Sherlock, Sophia is definitely interested in Naomi.

Naomi brushed Sophia's arm away awkwardly, edged away and cleared her throat. A little hope rekindled in my heart. At least Naomi brushed her off. If I could just take Naomi away right now, to somewhere only both of us existed, away from this school, from Sophia. I miss her even though I saw her the day before, yesterday and this morning. Not being with her is agonising. She consumes my entire being. And it's scary how much I already crave for her.

"We're just going to the court now… you wanna – " Naomi paused and looked unsurely at Sophia just for a split second, the question left uncompleted.

"Emily!"

Oh fuck. I closed my eyes in horror. This was something I didn't anticipate.

James bounded over to where the three of us were standing.

"Naomi." He greeted. "And…"

"Sophia." Sophia supplied helpfully.

"Ooo pretty fit bird." He grinned at Sophia who frowned before turning to me. "You ready to go?

"Go where?" Naomi cut in a little too sharply, frowning at the question.

I wished the ground could just split right open and swallow me up, or maybe I'll just pretend to faint to avoid answering the question.

"We're having lunch." James replied. _Too late._

"I thought you were going home?" Naomi looked at me, her blue eyes flashing dangerously.

"Um, yeah." I mumbled, "Lunch first." I tried to convey that this wasn't some date with my eyes but apparently Naomi didn't get it.

I know I promised Naomi I wouldn't go out with James. Well, I wasn't. We're just having lunch together, as friends; she can't stop me from doing that; she had no right to. Friends have lunch together right? Or hang out together. That should be totally fine. She was also hanging out with other girls. I shouldn't, mustn't, have a problem with that. Vice versa.

James looked at me, then at Naomi strangely and Sophia for a bit, "We'd be goin' now. You girls have fun." He winked and grabbed by hand, pulling me along but releasing his hand instantly. Thankfully he did or Naomi might get a fit if he continued holding mine. At least I know I would get a fit if Sophia held Naomi's hand.

I just managed a brief look at Naomi before being whisked off. She bit the inside of her cheek and looked pissed yet she was trying not to show it, doing a pretty bad job at it in fact. I dared to turn my head back one more last time, catching her watching me. Our eyes met briefly but she turned away and talked to Sophia. My heart crushed into a heavy knot, a slight pain constricting my chest. It shouldn't have turned out this way. There was nothing going on with James and I should have come clean with the lunch but that simply wasn't the right time to discuss about that nor did I think it was important. I really didn't need to ask for her permission to eat with him yet I can't help but feel terrible for prodding Naomi in the wrong direction, giving her the wrong idea. What if she gives up on me? What if she thinks I'm not worth the wait anymore? What if she realises that she didn't really like me at all. I died a little inside; I don't think I can handle not being with Naomi or go all the way back to square one where we never talked to each other.

I somehow made it outside the school gates. My mind was still in a whirl. I felt like I lost all my appetite despite being hungry a while ago.

"You alright?" James asked me, looking a little concerned. "Lookin' bit pale."

"Yeah just not really hungry now."

There was a light silence as I stared at the pavement my feet were walking on like autopilot. Sometimes I feel amazed how our feet can carry us in the right direction even when our minds are leagues away. It was almost effortless, our subconscious. My present attention was wholly on what Naomi was doing and thinking right now; my feet had a different mind on its own.

"That Sophia, you know her?" James asked, probably trying to make conversation. That girl was one of the concerns in my mind now but I didn't really want to talk about her, or think about her.

"Just today. Naomi said something about replacing her." I replied with lacklustre.

"She's rather fit." He grinned. "Naomi does have great taste."

"You think Naomi would like her?" Words escaped my mouth before I could mentally process them. _No don't answer that, I don't want to know._ My mind silently screamed. I never felt so tormented and torn.

"Why not? Long legs, tall, fit as fuck an' all that. Exactly like Naomi's type. That girl was slobbering all over her." James chuckled lightly.

I kinda deduced from that that Naomi had a history of dating tall, fit girls with long legs. I, on the other hand, am completely the opposite. I wasn't tall so I don't have long legs and I mightn't be as fit as those girls are. I suddenly felt totally inadequate. I wasn't Naomi's 'type'. Everything seemed to feel rather bleak now after the comparison. My heart sank a thousand levels.

"But I like you as you are." James' voice broke through my thoughts, startling me at his blatant honesty, looking a tad shy.

I stopped abruptly. This is it. I can't let James carry on thinking he has even a glimmer of chance with me. I can't carry on and pretend to be oblivious and avoid the topic, not when he has constantly made himself clear. It wasn't fair to him. He should transfer his energy to some other girl that would be attracted to him.

"I've… got something to tell you." I hesitantly and nervously said.

James stopped and turned expectantly to me, his eyebrows slightly raised with a question.

I gulped a couple of times and the words in my mind stammered. I hadn't thought of the right sentence, phrase or words to say. I just knew I had to spit it out, tactfully or bluntly, maybe both, tactfully blunt.

"I don't like you." Those words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them; the attempt to be tactful was bypassed. I inwardly kicked myself for my poor choice of words. James was looking at me with a blank look. I pushed on to redeem myself. "I mean – I like you, very much. It's just – you're like – a brother to me, the best – brother that I could have." I brought my hands up to my face, rubbing my palms over my eyes, a distinct sense of loss and fear overwhelming me. James' expression hadn't faltered; he just stared at me with those different blue eyes of his, not giving away any hint of what was going on in his mind. I was scared I'd fucked up this friendship between us. I really liked being his friend and I didn't want to lose him just because I can't feel the same way he feels about me. "I'm s-sorry." I choked out, my voice going thick and husky. I was almost on the verge of shedding a tear. I'd no idea why I'm reacting in this way. Maybe it was the possibility of losing James, or losing Naomi, or both. "I didn't mea– "

Before I could try to continue, a pair of strong arms wrapped themselves around my shoulders and pulled me in. My forehead connected with James' firm chest and I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a tight squeeze and screwed my eyes shut. "It's okay." James said in a low voice and patted my back. "I know."

"What?" I pulled slightly back in surprise, lifting my head and looking at him. His eyes had a set look on them as he gazed down on me.

"I know." He repeated. His mouth twitched in to a tight smile that never matched his eyes.

The words felt like it held a double meaning. It could even be a pretext. 'I know.' It could mean so many things. _I know you didn't like me. I know you like someone else. I know you like Naomi._ It could mean one and all three of them. I was badly over thinking it.

I took a breath and extricated myself. His arms slipped off my shoulders and he placed them by his sides.

"I'm sorry." I repeated again. I don't know why but I just had to say it.

"It's okay." James gave a half shrug and smiled, this time it was less strained, like he was trying to lighten up the situation. "I kinda – was hopin' that you'd somehow – yer know, like me, but –" He shrugged again, like he was trying to portray all he wanted to say in that shrug, yet at the same time trying to leave it.

"I do… but it's not like that…"

"There 's someone else init?"

I was stunned. It wasn't a question; it was a statement. How – did he know? There was malice or jealousy in his eyes or tone when he asked that. It was simple and direct; he was genuinely trying to confirm that. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't prepared to divulge this piece of information to anyone besides my group of friends, not even James. It isn't that I didn't trust him. Naomi and I weren't together; I didn't want to let him know that I was crushing on his best friend or that Naomi stole me away from him. Plus, I didn't want him to think that I rejected him because I was gay. Because I'm not. But this is just so fucking complicated. He'll know eventually but I want to be sure with Naomi before letting him know.

"It's complicated." I shook my head, hoping he wouldn't try to pry. I didn't deny his statement but I knew he knew.

He kept silent for a while, his eyes boring into mine as we held eye contact for a good many seconds. There was a slight disappointment in them yet it looked like he was thinking, pondering. It was unnerving. Eventually he broke it.

"Okay." He said and smiled, breaking the tension. "That's one lucky person there."

I couldn't help but note a slight underlying tone of sadness to his voice too and my heart cracked a little for him.

"That lucky twat better treat you right or ol' Cookie here will come after 'em an' I don't care if it's an animal or alien." James joked and I chucked and swatted his arm. I can't help but feel relieved at how this was turning out.

"So we still friends?" I asked, still can't help having the small doubt in my voice.

"Of course. You're still muh Emilio!" He ruffled my hair, completely messing it up. I let him. I didn't care if we can be like this again. "Yer know, I knew you couldn't be into me." He said, starting to walk ahead while I followed him.

"Oh why's that?" I asked, not knowing where this was going.

"Because, no one ever turns down the Cookie Monster, they're all gaggin' fer me." He laughed. "You're just a wee bit special aren't ya?" There it was; that ambiguous question again. I don't know if it was intentional.

"Cook," I said with deadpan, calling him by that name for the first time in ages, "You might be surprised that not all girls are interested in you."

I saw his mask waver slightly and instantly felt like I was pushing it too early and too much. They say the ones who appear to wear their hearts on their sleeves are the ones that actually have hidden a lot deep inside. I wonder if James was like that. He had a sweet and soft side to him that he rarely let people see.

He chuckled a little and grinned, "Come on red, we still can do lunch together aye?"

"Definitely."

James increased his pace ahead. I slipped my phone quickly out of my bag and checked the screen. No new messages. I sighed heavily inwardly and stuffed it back in, hurrying to catch up.

_I wonder what you're doing and what you're thinking._

.

.

I lay on my bed thinking about the exact same things as I did all afternoon. It was ten at night and I hadn't gotten a text or a call from Naomi. I was uncomfortable, anxious, paranoid and distressed. Was Naomi home or was she out with Sophia? Many times I took out my phone wanting to text her but I never got a word out. I wanted to see her, to tell her about the misunderstanding, but I didn't know how to. I'd barely tasted my dinner and resigned myself to an early night.

I tossed restlessly on my bed and ended up curled up on my side, pulling the covers up to my neck. Katie was out and I took the comfort in the silence of the room to numb my thoughts.

Suddenly my phone buzzed and the text alert tone rang concurrently. I jolted out of my bed covers, reached over and grabbed my phone on the bedside stand, all motions very swift and frantic. I fumbled with the passkey as I saw Naomi's name light up on the screen.

**Need to see you. – Naomi**

My heart hammered loudly as I read the text. I couldn't decipher anything from those words. I couldn't deduce any tone or expression from that. I stared at the screen for a bit before typing.

**Me too. – Emily**

I saw that Naomi had started to type and waited anxiously for her reply.

**I'm at the shelter. – Naomi**

My eyes widened. I didn't expect her to mean that she wanted to see me right now. I fired back a quick reply and hurriedly got out of bed, my legs almost getting entangled with the covers. I pulled off my t-shirt and pulled on a thicker sweater before grabbing my phone and house keys and letting myself quietly out of the house.

I walked as fast as my legs could carry me, half running, striding, to the shelter in the park. Soon it loomed up ahead and I could just make out a slim silhouette in it. As I got nearer, I saw Naomi sitting in the middle hunched over her phone in her hands, the screen light casting a faint glow on her face. I slowed my footsteps and stepped quietly in. Naomi's head whipped around in an instant, as though she heard me enter, or she was just sensitive to my presence. Through the bright moonlight and a distant streetlamp, I could clearly see her expression; it was a mix of relief and maybe uncertainty or trepidity? It made me nervous.

"Emily." She said my name as she stood up to meet me face to face, about an arm's length away. Her beautiful eyes held my breath as words in my mind rushed around in a frenzy. I'd my speech half written in my mind, in vague drips and drabs, as I came out to meet her. I wasn't quite prepared but I was willing to go for it.

"It's not what it seems – " I started.

"I know it feels too fast – " Naomi started at the same time. Both of us gave a small laugh. "You first." She inclined her head.

I swallowed and shuffled a little on my feet before collecting my nerves and looked at her in the eye. "James and I…" I paused and saw her flinch at the mention of coupling his name and mine, "Are just friends – really good friends. I met him today to tell him that – that I wasn't – that I'm not – interested in him. I didn't want to lead him on – let him think there was something." I released a breath that I'd been holding. Naomi's face was impassive, but there was something in her eyes, like her serious stare softened and she looked less uncertain. I clasped my hands together, trying to keep them warm from the cold wind. I wished I could just reach out to Naomi and hold her hand to let her know that I meant what I said.

Silence fell between us like a huge heavy rock. It seemed like eternity waiting for Naomi to speak. But I made myself clear, I think. I didn't say it out loud, but read my heart Naomi, can you see that I don't want anyone else?

"You know," Naomi finally spoke. "Seeing you going off with James today just made me so…" She turned her head away and gave a short laugh that sounded like disbelief, "So fucking – mad and – _scared _that you were going to walk away with him like we were – nothing." Her voice a little shrill and her eyes snapped back to mine; they were wide and full of emotions.

My heart pounded as I heard those words. I waited for her to continue.

"I just can't handle not – being close to you, away from you – seeing you with someone else." My body shivered as she took a step closer to me, not from the cold, but our decreasing proximity from each other. Her blonde hair, illuminated by the moonlight, looked a precious shade of silver, fell over her face as the wind petulantly blew it across. I wanted so badly to reach up to her face and caress those strands away.

Everything was falling, my doubts, my insecurities, my self-control, everything, and I am included in that. My heart fell right open and laid itself bare. How I tried to be just okay, to hold something back. But I never could, not with Naomi so close, biting on her lip and being just so absolutely sexy, gorgeous and jealous.

Naomi's always been the one initiating right from the start. It's my turn to make the move.

I leant in marginally, flicking my eyes to her lips and back to her eyes. "Just give me a fucking…" I said hoarsely, barely a whisper. Her eyes rested on my lips and my boldness increased.

My eyes fluttered shut as I closed the final gap, my mind spontaneously exploding as my lips met Naomi's smooth parted ones. I gave a tentative kiss, then another, and my heart just swelled tenfold when Naomi immediately responded. Her arms came around my waist and tugged me closer till our bodies were flushed against each other's and placed a harder and deeper kiss on me that sucked all my breath away. She moaned as my hand came up to cup her cheek, the other one tangling itself in her silky soft hair, pulling her head as close to mine as I could till we were fused as one. She wants this as much as I do. Oh my fucking… how I've craved for this so fucking much.

My small gasp turned into a low moan as Naomi gently bit my lip, tugging and sucking it before dipping her tongue in my mouth, probing. My tongue met hers and a glorious sensation erupted straight through my body and right down to my stomach as our tongues glided and slipped, surely and fervently against each other's. My hands now grabbed firmly to the back of her neck as I felt my knees grow weak from the escalating intensity of her kisses. I felt like I was soaring, the ecstatic rush of the chemicals from kisses sent my head flying, like a bird taking it's first ever flight. Yet this wasn't a first, this wasn't new, but somehow this felt like a first, the very first time both of us completely surrendered, being aware of our longing and craving for each other.

I gently pulled my lips away from hers, inhaling the air I was momentarily deprived of. My hands untangled themselves from her hair and slid down to her shoulders. I slowly licked my lips, inwardly delighting how they were damp with Naomi's sweet wet kisses. She tasted so fucking good; I could possibly get addicted to it. A small smile was on her lips, the kind that came with a set of scintillating and shining blue eyes fixated on me. My whole body was buzzing from the rush of kisses.

"Say something." I whispered, my eyes searching hers.

"Be mine, be my girlfriend." Naomi replied in a heartbeat, unfaltering.

_Yeah but all I really wanted was a little piece of you._

"Yes." I nodded, my voice smiled and my heartbeat spiralled upward, straight into the atmosphere.

A huge and wide delighted smile materialised on Naomi's face. She leant down and brushed her nose gently against mine, then giving me a lingering chaste kiss. _Finally_, I thought happily.

Naomi sat down on the cement floor pulling be down beside her. My knees rested on top of her crossed legs as she wrapped her left arm firmly around my waist while her right came around in front to hold her own left hand, huddling me close, locking and trapping me in her strong arms. I relished how warm she felt as I pressed myself into her, my head just mere inches away from hers.

"You made me so jealous seeing you go off with James." Naomi looked at me and spoke while tightening her grip. "I thought – the way he was looking at you – I thought I was gonna lose you."

"I'm with you now." I assured her as much as I feel she was assuring me with her arms tightly around me. It was as though she was clutching me as close to her heart as possible. I could feel her raw emotions emitting from her eyes.

"Yes you are." She grinned happily and leant in for a kiss.

Oh yeah, I could totally get used to being kissed randomly by her. I've craved for this for weeks, maybe even months if I dared to admit.

"But really," Naomi continued, "I almost wanted to cause some harm – like strangle him or snip off his tiny balls or something." She chuckled to herself, like she can't believe her thoughts from that moment of jealous insanity.

"What? They're tiny?" I exclaimed desperately trying to imagine something really… small.

"Actually, no." She admitted and gave a short laugh.

"You've – you've seen them?" I spluttered, wondering what exactly were the boundaries of their friendship. If Naomi had seen James in the buff, does that mean that James has seen Naomi… _naked?_ That wasn't fair. When is it my turn? I suddenly felt very warm as blurry inappropriate images flashed through my mind, all pertaining to this gorgeous girl wrapping me in her arms.

"Yeah – but… Hey! Shit. Don't think about that! The last thing I want is my girlfriend trying to picture some bloke's balls in her head!" Naomi raised her voice and looked horrified at me.

I laughed, gladly, snuggling into her and resting my head on her shoulder. My heart was singing with joy. _Girlfriend._ She called me girlfriend. I'm Naomi's girlfriend. That will need some getting used to.

Then I thought about that girl today, Sophia, and it just made me feel ill at ease.

"Naomi?"

"Hmm?"

"What about that girl today? Sophia." I asked hesitantly and unsurely.

"Who? – Oh yeah why?" Naomi shifted to look at me as I lifted my head.

"I think she likes you…"

"Nah." She laughed and brushed it off.

"No, really." I pulled slightly away from her.

"Don't be silly." She said as though she read my fears. Her right hand came down to lace itself through my left as she kissed my temple. "She's got nothing on you."

I kissed her then, pushing through my insecurities, out of relief. Naomi opened her mouth and I took the opportunity to explore her mouth with my tongue, feeling her moan resonate through my body as I grabbed on to her back, pulling her tightly into me. We kissed fiercely until both of us ran out of breath, reluctantly breaking apart. I shuddered as I heard her heavy breathing and felt her warm breath on my lips. Her eyes were half lidded, looking at me through her thick lashes. She's so mind blowing fucking sexy. I could feel myself getting wet at the thought of kissing her endlessly.

"Am I allowed to kiss you at school?" Naomi asked after both our breathing eased.

Shit. I hadn't thought about that. Those prowling girls wouldn't know Naomi's taken if I don't "display" our relationship to everyone. The problem is that I'm still afraid of telling taking. It is frustrating how much I care about what my sister thinks about this. I can't help it that I care. And there's still James.

"In private?" I asked hopefully.

"Oh yeah…" Naomi's voice lowered as she half growled and purred into my left ear. "In locked classrooms, tiny toilet cubicles, against lockers in an empty hallway." I trembled as she nipped my earlobe and splashed tiny kisses down my jaw. My underwear felt completely soaked.

I smiled as our lips met for the uncountable time, this time briefly, yet with the same level of tenderness.

"Oh I forgot this." Naomi unzipped her bag and pulling out a – _stuffed bear?_

She looked embarrassed as she held it. I stared at it in surprise. It was palm-sized with furry fur that looked a light shade of pale gold in the moonlight, almost resembling Naomi's hair. Two black oval beads marked its eyes and its nose on the snout was denoted by a bundle of black threads, its mouth two black straight down slanting lines making it look like it's frowning. Around it's neck wound a green and white striped scarf. The cheesy part was that there was a red stuffed heart sewn to its paws.

"What's this?"

"This," Naomi brought the bear to eye level and looked at it, "was my initial feeble attempt of convincing you to be my girlfriend." She mumbled. I swear Naomi blushed hard at that. She looked so sheepish that I wanted to kiss her.

A teasing grin of delight appeared on my face. "Why Naoms, I didn't know you were such a cheesy sappy cliché." I took the bear from her and stroked the fur on its head with my thumb.

Naomi gave some ineloquent cute grumble from her throat and pouted even though I kissed her on the lips.

"But I love it." I said, cuddling it to my face, feeling the soft fur brush against my cheek. "Let's give it a name!" I said excitedly, clutching Naomi's arm.

"Little Naomi." Naomi replied promptly, unabashedly this time. Seems like she'd thought about this before.

"Are you serious?" I frowned. "How does he look like you?"

"_She _has golden fur, something like my hair. You know, something to remind you of me when I'm not beside you." She grinned, looking pleased with herself.

"I think the name Blondie suits _him_ better." I teased, watching her frown and pout. "Aww it's frowning like you now." I touched Naomi's lips briefly with the bear's snout. Her lips twitched a little, trying hard not to smile.

She pulled me into her arms once again and I nuzzled into her neck, taking in the scent of her skin and sighing contentedly.

"I'm so happy right now." Naomi whispered and I responded with a tiny kiss on her warm skin, finding my hand entangled with hers.

_Me too._ I thought silently, because finally, I can be your love, for real.

* * *

><p>AN: Finally? This might not be the finally you're looking for but I reckon this chapter is important, at least to me. I hope no one's dying in a bad way from sappiness or fluff. At least more things can progress from here on! I hope it's not too disappointing though. I know the pace seems quite slow or Emily's reactions could be quite frustrating but I guess that what RL is sometimes and I'm trying to portray that struggle right. I'm going to England again somewhere at the end of next month and I hope to get something up by then. I've the next one already mapped out in my head so it might be easier. As usual, thanks for still reading and leaving a review would make me happy. :)


	17. Big Time Sensuality

Once again, cheers to **Kelevra2501, KarlangazK2, Guest, fookyeahskins, moongaser, Iwy'sAshes, blueMoon28, nachoooooo13, shawty721, Crevette, muff MuNcHeR, Naomily93, hopelessnaomilyaddict, solelessboots, Katie Watie, .blah. **Especially those that review every chapter, you know who you are :) and the new readers for showing some encouragement.

It's the longest chapter to date with 14k words. I tried to cut it shorter, I really did but that's what it is. I hope it's not too tiresome to read.

Birthday's next Monday so I thought it'll be great to give yall an early present. :) I'll be off to England in a few days for a bit, spending it there. Excited!

Lastly, only a couple of reviews mentioned something about "sexeh times." Oh but that's far too little enthusiasm.

Let me know if you liked it, hated it, thinks it needs improvement etc.

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><p><strong>Chapter Seventeen – Big Time Sensuality<strong>

**Naomi**

"Noooo I don't want to."

"It'll be fun! Come on!"

"But staying home is more… relaxing."

Emily's eyes narrowed, "I thought you loved basketball and playing basketball _is_ relaxing?"

She's got a point there. That was my place of solace, my sanctuary, the go-to place every time I needed a breather from the chaotic world. I would lose myself in the game, perfecting each shot into the hoop. I was invincible, uninhibited, boundless and limitless. However, all that changed when I got injured and of course, when I chased after Emily Fitch.

When I got injured, my whole routine changed; I suddenly had a lot of useless free time. I had lolled in bed for two excruciating weeks; then I no longer could get to school early for my usual morning practice; plus I was ordered to take an indefinite hiatus for my hamstring to recover fully. Just so you know, I'm not a routine kind of person. I simply do not like to plan or follow a dedicated sequence. I prefer to do things on a whim, solve one problem at a time when it comes, create my own mess and stand back and admire it and so on; I possibly digress. But damn, when I stopped playing ball, the 'routine' part of me flared up like an infected wound. I had to stop doing what had become an essential part of me that made me scratch and itch, figuratively. That was until the gorgeous Emily waltzed into my life. I haven't stopped spinning around her ever since.

I channeled all my free time to her. I filled my now empty mornings with occasional walks to school with her. They were far too few to my liking but I can understand that. Now I see her everyday. Even though we might not have a common class everyday, we meet at scheduled times during breaks because, well, I simply can't go through a day without seeing her you know. Or kissing her.

At first, we shared small kisses, pecks and sweet conversations in the toilet or in empty hallways. One day, after our common math period, when everyone left for their next class, we stayed behind. Or rather I ambushed her. She was looking somehow especially breathtaking, wearing a simple casual black dress that emphasized her slim waist and the curve of her hips, and her hair fell perfectly on her shoulders. The whole time, my concentration was shot as I kept thinking about how her rosy lips curled up into a shy smile every time I dared a glance at her, and how I decided right away in two seconds that I'd make it my priority to do something to those lips after class. As soon as class was over and everyone finally got out of my way, I locked the door and cornered her, pressing her right up against it and claiming her lips hungrily. We would have snogged for hours if not for the violent twisting of the locked doorknob and banging on the door, snapping us out of our kissing haze.

From then on, we proceeded with tiny make out sessions. They were never sloppily hasty, or rushed, or unsatisfying. Far from that. You'd think with the amount of time and the quickness of it all, it'd be haphazard or just plainly kissing. But each time, I'm met with the same tenderness, intensity, shyness and sweetness. The brevity of it all was insignificant. Emily knew how to kiss and she knew how to kiss me in a way that made my body respond to her and shut down other things at the same time.

So she uprooted my life, shook the rug under my feet and made me fall harder for her. She changed my days. She became my routine I look forward to each day.

But this, dragging me out to the basketball court near my home wasn't part of it. We were supposed be at my house to resume our 'tutoring' lessons. I was thinking more along the lines of cuddling in my squashy couch and kissing; just tons and loads of kissing.

"But I'm still injured," I protested loudly.

"Your leg is almost fine now. And anyway… Don't you miss it?" Emily raised an eyebrow in question, putting the ball at her right hip and placing her other hand on her left. She looked hot doing that even though she was in a big comfy hoodie that covered her hips and hid most of her flesh and delicious curves.

I did. Basketball matches give me the adrenaline rush. It's the kind of natural kick I got from a thousand people screaming my name and doing what I do best. It's the kick that is unlike from drugs, but probably close to what you get from sex. Yeah that would be succinct. But that's out since that's not really on the cards right now. However when I found out I get that equivalent of a rush from kissing Emily, it's no wonder how playing basketball was knocked out of my priorities. Kissing Emily just cannot be contested. It might be even better than sex. No scratch that. Sex with Emily would give me the greatest uncontested rush. Of course I kept all these illegal premature thoughts to myself.

I looked into those eager eyes of hers and saw only sincerity, kindness and a dash of excitement in this. Maybe she wanted me to get up and start practicing so I wouldn't lose my touch after being out for so long. My girlfriend is being truly unselfish while all I'm selfishly thinking that all I want is the couch and us on it. Ahh, but fuck it.

"Fine," I nodded in half agreement. "But you're playing with me." I grinned, plucking the ball off her hip and bouncing it, getting a feel of bouncing a ball again.

"But I can't play!"

"What? You don't expect to be sitting about doing nothing right?"

"No I was thinking of just…" Emily paused and almost said in a bare whisper, "watching."

Watch me shoot hoops? That must be the most boring passive activity ever.

"Where's the fun in that?" I laughed. "Unless," I went closer to her ear and lowered my voice teasing her, "you think I look hot and sexy when I'm all sweaty." I pulled back with a smirk on my face.

To my surprise, Emily flushed bright crimson. Oh my fuck. _Really?_

I dropped the ball, letting it bounce somewhere unconcerned and hooked my fingers through the belt hoops of her jeans, drawing her closer with a delighted smile plastered on my face. Her head was still lowered and she was still blushing furiously, the tips of her ears were even slightly red. How adorable was that? Still, I didn't want to let up. I loved teasing her, pushing her as far as I could.

"So you think I'm hot eh?" I lowered my voice and whispered into her ear. I started giving slow small light kisses starting with the side of her jaw, making my way down the shape of it. I felt her shudder and take a shaky breath as I brought up two fingers to tilt her chin up, kissing it at the point and approaching her lips as the final destination.

Before mine could connect with hers, both her hands came up and gently pushed my chest, increasing the aching distance between our lips. I think I almost groaned in desperate want.

"Only if you start playing again." She didn't deny or confirm my statement. Her lips were parted and her brown eyes were slightly darker but with a tiny glint of a sparkle in them. She turned her heel and scooped up the abandoned ball on the ground. "Ready to get hot and sweaty with me?" She asked, the evident husk of her tone sounding more suggestive and seductive then I've ever heard. She was regarding me with, might I just say, sultry sexy salacious eyes.

Wow wow wow this is a new side to Emily that I hadn't seen before, a side I'd much prefer if she brings it out more often if she had it in her. That look completely floored me. It made her feel ten times sexier, not that she isn't which she is, but it just adds a fresh new layer of sexiness to her. Emily's kind of sexy isn't the kind of sexy that struts around in heels and skimpy clothes with boobs half falling out of their bra cups; that's slutty. Hers is the kind of sexy with grace, poise, demeanor and character together with her hearty laugh, long lashes, dimples, petit frame and effortlessly flowing long hair. That isn't the typical kind of sexy but holy fuck somehow that is sexy to me. How did I walk past this girl for a year and not know she existed? Ludicrous.

At that moment, I just wanted to pounce on her and make her forget this whole silly basketball thing she wants to do.

Without a warning, Emily threw the ball at me. The kind of throw that was just like a chest pass. It was fast and direct. I had obviously zoned out. Luckily for my awesome and quick reflexes that I've trained for years, I managed to catch the ball.

"Stop staring at me and start." Emily's cheeky tone replaced the former salacious tone. "You first." She positioned herself just inside the three-point arc at the centre of the court, waiting for me to start.

I grinned in amazement and without shame at my gorgeous girlfriend who just chided me for drooling over her. I let the ball fall from my hand and started bouncing it towards her; my skills never left me; the ball felt like an old friend. Emily backed a little and stretched out her arms wide open in a stance attempting to hinder my path. She definitely was no match against me even with my injury. Nothing's gonna stop this ball from getting into the hoop when I wanted it.

I edged forward at her and she backed up even more. Switching the ball over to my left hand, I tried going left but she met me and her hands reached out, attempting to swipe the ball away from my bounce. Not bad. Of course I wasn't really going up against her; I wouldn't actually stand around the same area for close to ten seconds without making a move or entice my opponent to steal my ball. Still I wanted to show off a little to her, to let her see how good I am at basketball, wow her pants off; that sounded less dirty in my head I swear. I quickly switched the ball over to my stronger right hand, moving sideways first before the plan was to cut in and do a layup.

Just as I was about to go forward with the precise movement and complete the intended plan, Emily stepped into my path and planted a big kiss right on my lips. It went on for like three seconds and I lost all focus and forgot what I wanted to do after I felt her soft lips on mine. My hand stilled and the ball bounced limply without a direction. When I was about to reach up and cup her face and lose myself, she broke away and chased after the ball, picked it up and flung it at the hoop. And when I say flung, it was more of a two handed over-the-head kind of fling, the type that usually wouldn't get balls into hoops, the amateur kind of maniac throw. But the ball rightly smacked itself on the top corner of the rectangular box on the board and fell straight into the net. Apparently the great Naomi Campbell was no match against her girlfriend. Emily gave a squeal of delight and punched her fist in the air, giving a little dance after. That was beyond adorable.

"Not fair!" I shouted indignantly but with great amusement. "You cheated!"

Emily winked at me, her eyes dancing with mischievousness, "You got distracted."

I feigned a huff and collected the ball, "You distracted me!"

"You're very distractable." Emily slowly licked her lips and smirked smugly when my gaze was transfixed on her lips. There it was, flashes of her cheeky sexy side. She seemed to realise that she has an effect on me. Of bloody course she has. She can't kiss me like that and expect me not to be distracted!

I gave my best pout and resumed the initial starting position outside the three-point arc again, this time determined to be less distracted. Is that possible? I mean, when Emily's within my line of sight, everything in my vision just fades away leaving only her. I'd definitely lose it if she pulled another sneaky kiss on me.

This time I approached quickly and before she had anytime to react, I spun away from her by doing a three-sixty pivot on my right leg, took a step, braced myself and jumped, releasing the ball. The ball flew from my hands and fell sweetly into the hoop with a plop. I grinned widely at Emily as she tried hard to show that she was smiling, what seemed to be of admiration, the corner of her mouth tugging upwards defiantly.

It was her turn next. She took the ball and started bouncing, awkwardly. Her bounces weren't smooth or balanced and she was using a great deal of concentration trying to keep it bouncing and avoid me at the same time. I backed off giving her more space than I usually would for an opponent. My girlfriend was looking so focused with a cute frown of concentration on her face that I didn't have the heart to steal the ball away from her.

Emily bounced the ball haphazardly to her right, still trying to keep me at distance. I followed, still at a distance, but keeping up at blocking her path. I reached out and pretended to swipe the ball out of her hands; I was definitely not going to do any proper stealing from her, it was all good fun. She squealed and turned her back towards me attempting to shield the ball from my reach.

I slithered up to her quietly, not quite touching her yet. With her body bent forward, she backed into me effectively pushing me backward. I tugged her hoodie with my left hand as my other reached over and pretended once again to steal the ball.

"Stop fouling me!" Emily half laughed and shrieked as she stopped bouncing and held the ball instead, her red hair getting messy and falling over her face.

I laughed and stopped tugging; she seemed so invested protecting the ball from me. Emily resumed the bouncing and backed into me again. By right you couldn't double bounce but to hell with the rules. Plus, this time Emily was using her arse to bump me backwards. So technically she was bumping her arse against my crotch, sort of jabbing me with it. This was causing all sorts of involuntary reactions to my stomach and limbs. I automatically placed both my hands on her hips, sorely wanting to keep her hips there. I wanted to slide them up over her waist and embrace her.

"No cheating!" Emily said and wriggled out of my grasp, completely crushing all rules by turning around with the ball in her hands and did her iconic over-the-head fling at the hoop. The ball sailed up through the air, dismally missed the hoop completely by a metre and landed directionless back on the ground. She gave a cry of disappointment as I chased after the ball, putting it through the hoop easily.

Emily's face was rosy with exertion with a few strands of her hair clinging on to her face but she was smiling looking all lovely and not sore at all. She was having a good time despite being really bad at this. My girlfriend's really fucking amazing.

"Your turn again," I smirked and bounce-passed the ball to her.

We kept it up like that for probably a good half hour. It was so much fun and exhilarating. I was spending time with the two most favourite things in my life right now. Emily's right; she did know me well enough. I missed playing basketball and although this frivolous playing right now was nothing compared to my intense matches, it just felt so good to be bouncing, shooting and doing those little tricks. So we went on like that, like two butterflies fluttering around, wings bumping into each other, creating specks of happiness dust between us.

After Emily's first shot through the hoop, she couldn't get anymore in even though I totally stood back at times to give her a good amount of space. I watched with amusement as the huffed and grumbled in good nature as she missed shot after shot. She surprised me though with her stamina. It looks like Rob Fitch's training over the years has paid off. She wasn't breathless and could keep up with my turns and short runs. My leg also seemed to be much better and I didn't feel much of a pull. Everything was rather perfect.

Eventually we stopped and I taught her the proper position to hold the ball and the technique of shooting. After supervising a few of her shots which half of them went through, I stepped away to get a drink of water. Emily was determined to continue practicing. That girl sure has fiery drive and determination.

I took my bottle and settled myself at the space between the three-point arc and the centre circle. Sitting down cross-legged, I unscrewed the cap, taking a hearty swig from it. Emily was tirelessly throwing the ball at the hoop and chasing it on the rebound. She sure had a lot of energy and stamina. I wondered if she also had stamina for other things…

I gave my head a small shake, bringing my thoughts back to earth and capped the bottle setting it aside. I placed a hand behind me and leant back on it enjoying the view. Life was good. The sky was cloudy, the air was cool, my leg was better, I'd just played basketball for the first time in almost three weeks but the most important thing now was staring and perving at my girlfriend's perky arse unintentionally wriggling in front of me as she continued on, oblivious to my blatant eying. I don't know what made her so enthusiastic about this sport but I'm definitely not complaining. She was the first girl that was really interested in what I loved, that actually talked about it with me and the first to involve herself with it. In addition, I got to sit here and enjoy a perfect view of her gorgeous bum. Life was fucking good indeed.

Emily seemed to be getting slightly frustrated at the lack of successive shots through the hoop. She was back to her over-the-head throw, which was just technically hilarious to watch.

"Don't throw it like that!" I shouted half with laughter.

Either she didn't seem to hear it or ignored me; she chased after the loose ball and flung it again at the hoop with great strength. The ball collided with the side of the rim and ricocheted straight back at her. She screamed and flung her hands over her head running away from the ball like it was attacking her.

That was the last straw. I burst out laughing, unable to contain my laugher after witnessing the silliness of the scene unfolding in front of me. Emily getting attacked by a ball! It was quite a sight.

My other hand clutched my stomach as I shut my eyes, unable to stop my body from shaking and the bubble of laughter coming out of my mouth. I managed to force my eyes to open a slit of vision and I saw this round and orange thing hurtling right at me.

"OUCH!" The ball slammed itself against the side of my mouth and rolled away. I let out a yell, "What the –" My hands flew up and grabbed the part where the ball had hit me as I scrunched up my eyes feeling the numb sensation spread over the area.

"Sorry sorry sorry!" Knees kneeled between my thighs and hands covered mine over my mouth. I opened my eyes and saw Emily's close up astonished and alarmed expression, shock written all over her face. "Shit, fuck, I'm so sorry!" She repeated, her hands cupping my face bringing it up to her.

I removed my hands and hesitantly dabbed my fingers to the left side of my lip that was starting to smart. Emily gently tilted my chin up so she could get a proper look.

"Shit Naoms I didn't mean to – I thought you'd see the ball – I'm so sorry." Emily's voice was wavering and thick, her eyes full of fear, worry and guilt. Her cheeks were slightly red and her fringe was falling over her eyes, she looked distraught.

My slight annoyance instantly vanished in a thin puff of smoke. I realised I couldn't stay annoyed at her at all not even when she hit me with a ball and looked so upset doing that. I grabbed her right hand with my left, encasing it fully in mine; my right hand encircled around her waist, placing itself on her lower back and pulled her into me so that her legs and knees settled fully onto mine.

"Hey – hey it's okay yeah," I whispered, rubbing my thumb over her knuckles calming her.

"No it's not. Why are you comforting me? I hit you! – with a ball! God I'm such an ass." Emily fretted, worry lines creasing her forehead again, her voice slightly shrill.

I chuckled, "Yeah you have such an ass too."

Emily stared at me not quite getting what I was talking about. Oops, I didn't mean to let that sentence verbally out of my head.

"Naomi Campbell were you staring at my ass the _whole time_?" Emily asked incredulously as she caught on, her mouth starting to crack into a smile, forgetting what she was so worried about a moment ago.

"No! I mean, maybe… just a perv or two." _More likely a hundred times._ I flashed a smile and blinked my eyes innocently.

Emily looked at me through slanting eyes, not at all believing what I said but at the same time looking like she was secretly happy at that; her smile threatened to blossom.

But that smile fell again as her eyes took in the damage she had done to my lip. Removing her hand from mine and bringing it up, her fingers shakily traced the side of my jaw first before gently using her index finger to trace over my lip, which I believe, felt a little swollen.

"Hey it's alright, no big deal, I get injured all the time." I said immediately as I saw her guilty expression again. Although my lip smarts, it wasn't a big deal compared to how worried Emily looked right now.

"No it's just – I'm so sorry, I ruined your… gorgeous lips." The last two words tumbled out in a mumble as Emily turned shade of pink again, her eyes not quite daring to meet mine as she flushed. _Fuck me, she said my lips are gorgeous._

"Well I think my lips still _are_ gorgeous when it's swollen." I pumped my lips up and pouted trying to throw a hint.

Emily rolled her eyes, a smile gracing her lips once again. "If you say so."

"So what do you have to do now?" I asked. Seeing her confused expression, I tapped my index finger to my lips and smirked. "This needs healing don't you think?"

"Okay… and…" I could see that Emily caught on to what I was implying but was trying hard not to give in too easily; her smile was looking adorably shy and bashful again and it just made my heart start beating a little harder.

"So," I pushed again, loving this banter between us. "Kissing this," I tapped my lips again to emphasize and using my best seductive eyes, "would make it heal even faster."

To my surprise, Emily placed both hands on my shoulders and pushed me to the ground. My back hit the warm concrete ground and my insides twisted with delight as Emily straddled my hips, her hands on either side of my face and her body hovering, bringing her face right above mine, just mere inches away. Her vibrant red hair fell and hung down on both sides of her face, curtaining us into our own world. My vision was only full of red hair, and Emily's beautifully flushed face and features in close up. She bit her lip and a dark look of want clouded her eyes. An electrifying thrill bolted through me and I was instantly turned on. Emily pushing me down and being on top was such a fucking turn on. Her eyes were darker and her gaze was smoldering hot and trained on my eyes. They flicked down to my lips. I gulped and licked mine, anticipating what was possibly coming.

"It better get better after this," Emily growled, her hot breath hitting my lips that were quivering with want.

She lowered her face and closed the achingly last few centimeters as I closed my eyes. Her lips pushed against mine tentatively at first, then stronger with want and my mind exploded. I reached up and encircled my hands around her back, pulling her down onto me as we kissed with escalating urgency, unreservedly and fervidly. I tasted the slight strawberry flavour of her lip balm on her lips; I could smell a whiff of her faint perfume and fruity shampoo over a slight layer of her slight perspiration and that drove my hormones even crazier. We were in broad daylight, in the middle of an old basketball court, making out like frenzied teenagers as though we couldn't get enough of each other. I really couldn't get enough of Emily, from the way she smells and how sweet she tastes.

And I realise that kissing Emily was more than mind blowing. She was making me _feel _so much with just kissing. Of course I don't feel that it's _just_ kissing. It was about the way my body responded to her in a way that I never got that from anyone else that I've kissed. I've had spectacular kisses before but _this_ with Emily just trumps all of them. It makes me redefine that word and that unexplainable feeling that comes with it all over. It's like my mind goes into overdrive and everything else automatically shuts down. All I could concentrate was feeling the way her lips moved perfectly against mine and how they fit and react naturally to each other. Tiny kisses shared with her bring a happy smile on my face; this proper full on hard kissing is just fucking blissful.

She cupped my face and angled her lips and I made slight noises of approval as she nibbled on my lower lip then covering it with her soft lips and started sucking deliciously on it. A warm sensation rippled through my body and my hands gripped her back harder, pushing her impossibly closer and flushed against me, feeling my knickers starting to get wet. My body was responding very positively to the way she was kissing me. I don't know if she knows that she's having that effect on me.

I gasped as she accidentally sucked on the sore spot on my lip and she took the opportunity to slip her hot and wet tongue onto my mouth, moaning as mine sought and met hers, flicking and massaging sloppily. I was in ecstasy. Another wave of heat surged through my body and into my knickers as I shuddered from the tip of her tongue flicking against mine. Clamping my thighs together and propping them up, I pushed her body further into me, if that was even possible. Fuck, she felt so good in my arms, tasted so good, smelt so good and made me feel so good. I was utterly flailing, drowning in her. I was this close to impulsively whipping that annoying hoodie off. But that was dangerous territory. I knew I wasn't going to do anything beyond just kissing, especially if she wasn't the one making the first move – you know in that way. I wanted to give her all the space she needed, never pressurizing her. Sure I'd desperately want to properly have her but only when she showed that she's ready.

As though the sky knew I needed a time-off, two drops of rain suddenly fell on my forehead and tumbled down. We broke our hazy, breath reducing kisses reluctantly and Emily craned her neck to look at the sky, feeling the drops of rain too. I lifted my eyes, seeing ominous low hanging clouds and a grey sky.

"It's gonna rain," Emily stared at the sky a bit more and then down at me.

I felt her starting to lift her body off mine and grabbed her close. "But not so soon," I said and curled my hand behind her neck bring her head down, pushing our lips together again, feeling Emily smile into the kiss as I assaulted them relentlessly, fully aware of how short a time I've left before it really pours.

A steady drizzle started and Emily's hoodie was getting wetter. I pushed myself up and flipped us over without breaking the kiss. Emily gave a small yelp into my lips as her back hit the ground as gently as I could place her. It was better for me to be on top since I was wearing a waterproof jacket. That should hold off the rain from her for a bit. Maybe the drizzle will subside. I was too obsessed with kissing her right now; I couldn't stop.

Just then, a sound of lightning and thunder clashed monstrously, startling both of us. The rain poured down heavily, torrentially and coated us within seconds.

"Naomi," Emily pushed my shoulders with her hands. "We're getting very wet!"

Oh Emily, the double meaning there wasn't intentional is it? You've no idea how really wet in so many ways I am right now.

I placed my hands on the ground and pushed off her. Snatching up our bags and the ball, I grabbed her hand and we dashed hand in hand towards the direction of my house. It was thankfully about two hundred metres away down the road and around the corner.

I couldn't run too fast yet due to the injury. I even skidded and almost slipped a couple of times on the wet pavement but Emily was there to catch and steady me, squeezing my hand with hers with assurance as we ran for shelter.

We finally got to my house. I rummaged for the keys from my bag, stuffing it violently into the keyhole and wrenched the door open, pushing Emily inside first before getting in and slamming it shut with a satisfying bang. We leant against the closed door on our backs, breathing heavily from the sprint. Catching each other from the corner of our eyes, we broke into bubbles of laughter.

"Never want to do this again!" Emily panted out and I readily agreed even though the idea running down the streets with her hand in mine in the rain sounded and felt rather romantic, physically not so much.

I pushed myself off the door and removed my shoes, feeling disgusted that they were soaked and squishy. The rainwater had seeped into the holes that were on the surface of the shoe and soaked through my socks. Emily was also removing hers which was probably soaked too. The bottoms of her jeans were dark and wet from splashing through those puddles along the way and her grey hoodie was covered with dark intricate patterns of rainwater. Her hair was matted, making it slightly darker as the strands clung onto the side of her face. She brushed the strands away and ran her hands lightly over her hair, attempting to smoothen it. I was mesmerized just with that. How could that one simple act evoke such fascination to me?

Emily shivered, curled her toes and hugged herself, rubbing her hands over her arms. I snapped out of my thoughts and hurried up the stairs.

"I'll get you a change of clothes," I called back.

"No I'm fine! I'm not –"

"Come on, you're staying for a bit anyway. It's not a problem."

And with that I disappeared into my room and quickly hunted around for a smaller t-shirt that felt too fitting on me for comfort and a decent old pair of shorts I couldn't fit anymore. These will do.

I rushed down and handed the clothes over to her along with a fluffy white towel. "Bathroom's over there," I pointed. "Use what you need to wash up. I'm going to change out of these too," I gestured at mine.

With a smile of appreciation, Emily headed off while I went up to my room and quickly changed into a large white t-shirt and a pair of black cotton shorts. I fluffed out my hair, trying to dry them and smoothened my slightly tangled blonde locks before going down again. Emily was out of the bathroom and looking around for a place to hang her wet clothes dry.

My t-shirt fit her snugly stopping short at her hips. The pair of shorts seemed just a bit too large and was sitting low on her hips like they were about to drop down if I pulled at it. I wished I could test the theory to prove I'm right. The thing that totally caught my full attention was the curve of her tits against the material of the shirt that looked fucking fantastic even being hidden. I mean, I can't exactly _see _them but they looked… bigger, more… full, making her look curvier, sexier. They didn't look like that before and yes, I had been observing slyly and obsessively for the past week. Maybe she was wearing a slight push-up bra? Fucking hell, she did look gorgeous in that. Luckily that hoodie had to go or I wouldn't have gotten such a sight.

I would kill to be your clothes, cling to your body and hang from your bones. I would kill to be the cold, tracing your body and shaking your bones.

"Want some hot chocolate?" I asked noticing that my voice had become a little hoarse, trying to break away from my full on raging perv and she nodded enthusiastically.

I went to the kitchen and started preparing to make my version of hot chocolate. I heaped a generous amount of chocolate powder and poured a quarter of milk into the two separate mugs, stirring it into a smooth paste and adding a sprinkle of cinnamon power to them. Pouring some milk into a small pan, I placed it over the stove and heated it for about three minutes, whisking it after till it's frothy and poured it into the two mugs, stirring again.

Perfect. The scent of the hot chocolate was delicious and I hoped Emily would love it. I grabbed a container of my favourite biscuits with my right hand and carried the mugs by their handles carefully with my left, making my way out. Emily had already taken her books and stationery out and was settling comfortably on the rug on one side of the coffee table.

Okay, this was definitely not part of the plan! What happened to cuddling on the sofa? Just my wishful thinking of course.

I placed the mugs and container on the table and took the spot adjacent to her trying to get as close as possible. It was a bit of a squeeze and as much as I'd like to sit beside her, I couldn't. Seems like I have to do something about the arrangement of the furniture soon.

"Wow!" Emily grabbed a mug and inhaled deeply. "It smells delicious!" She exclaimed and took a sip, and then a bigger one, closing her eyes, gulping and licking her lips a good number of times. "Mmmmmm," she dragged her hum of approval long and low.

My eyes widened immediately and my tongue automatically darted out and licked my own lips even though I hadn't taken a sip yet. Fuck, that wasn't supposed to be such a turn on either. I don't know what it is about her that whatever she does just makes my mind go all crazy over the simplest and most innocent of actions and noises. I think I was possibly jealous of the hot chocolate.

Emily snapped her eyes open and gave such a bright smile that I felt my chest expand to such outrageous and enormous proportions. "It tastes wonderful. Best I've ever had," she said seriously.

I mirrored her smile._ Kiss her you fuckwit, kiss her!_ My brain yelled. And why not? I could because I had the right to. I could kiss her randomly and at anytime I wanted because she's all mine. I leant forward and noticed that Emily had already done the same. Clearly we had the same intentions. Our lips met in a slow and tender kiss. The taste of hot chocolate was still on her lips and fuck me, she tasted so sweet. Hot chocolate and Emily's lips: Best combination ever.

As much as I'd like to continue kissing her and lose myself in that, Emily slowly pulled back. Her chocolate brown eyes were shining and looking at me with such tenderness. Her lips curled into a bashful smile and her cheeks were slightly pink. She really is fucking beautiful.

Starting to feel a little hungry, I opened the biscuit container and took a piece out, taking a huge bite out of it. "Want one?" I asked between munches, holding the container out to her.

"What's that?" She asked curiously.

"Garibaldis. What, you haven't had them before?" Emily shook her head. "I'm like, rather fond of them." I swallowed and took another, offering it to her this time.

Emily took it, looking at the biscuit a little, like she was inspecting it or something, sniffed at it with her cute nose and nibbled the corner of the rectangular biscuit.

"No no, that's not the way to eat it," I swallowed my hot chocolate in hurry, almost scalding my throat. "You gotta take a bigger bite together with the raisins and all. Goes great hot chocolate." I nudged her cup of hot chocolate nearer as she took a bigger bite and chewed with an amused smile on her face.

"Oh it does." She said after taking a sip of the hot chocolate. "Didn't know you're a connoisseur when it comes to biscuit pairing," she added cheekily, taking another biscuit and munching on it.

I'm biased to say that, of all the important things that I look for in a girlfriend, enjoying Garibaldis and hot chocolate suddenly became one of the top priorities. No one could understand why I love eating them. Think about your favourite odd food; it could be a smelly tofu or durian or something no one enjoys but you do and you'll get it. Few of my ex's didn't like it, some ate them politely when offered, and even my mom didn't see what the fuss was about over them. But Emily, she certainly looked like she was genuinely savouring them from the way she was taking yet another piece. What can I say? Emily was perfectly for me.

She held out half of the biscuit left on her hand with a smile and brought it to my mouth. Grinning, I took the whole of it eagerly and her fingers brushed against my lips, sweeping away crumbs before she removed them. My lips tingled and I so wanted grab her fingers and kiss them.

After our little snack, we settled into our books with Emily patiently explaining some complicated concept to me that we just recently learnt. Needless to say, I couldn't get it in class but with Emily's clear explanations and patience, I probably had a better grasp of what this topic was about. Velocity. Seriously, I don't understand why I needed to care about the constant and changing velocity and how understand that would improve my life.

She left me with a couple of simpler questions while she tackled on her coursework. I started at the first question and managed to come up with a solution that I'm not even sure was correct. Whatever. I tried the second one and stared at it for a good deal of time, completely losing all hope at solving it even in the incorrect way. I pursed my lips and frowned, tapping my pencil on the notepad in annoyance and boredom, spacing out and listening to the occasional rumblings of thunder outside. I turned my head towards Emily to see how she's doing, agreeing to myself that I liked this sight better than these ridiculous numbers that didn't make sense.

She was crouching over her notes, seemingly engrossed, mouthing the text silently to herself. Her fringe fell over her eyes and she tried to tuck it behind her ear unsuccessfully as it fell again. A cute frown was on her face. Man, even her frowning was cute. I mean, I think 'cute' wouldn't be the word to describe me if I was frowning over math problems; I'd look murderous. I propped my left elbow up and rested my chin on my open palm just simply looking, enjoying the view.

I don't know how long I was staring but Emily suddenly looked up as though she sensed my intensive staring. Our eyes met and she looked down at her notes and blushed. I continued unabashedly staring, a small smile creeping from my lips. She chanced a look at me again and broke into an awkwardly shy smile.

"What are you doing?" Her husky voice was laced with a small smile. God I love the way she sounds all shy.

I took a small sigh, "Relieving my boredom by enjoying the beautiful view that's all."

Emily blushed even harder but the same beautiful smile shone. "Concentrate Naoms," she teasingly chided me.

"You're distracting me."

"You're easily distractable." And we both chuckled, remembering the similar conversation that had taken place earlier.

Emily tutoring me is actually turning out to be a bit of a problem. I just couldn't concentrate for long periods when all she was around me; this was different in the past where I could sit still for at least two hours. I stood up, shut my book and took her hand pulling her up despite her weak protests, letting her pencil fall and abandoning our coursework after just about an hour later. I guided us to the couch that was behind me and lowered myself pulling her down with me.

"Can we just… have a cuddle break?" I said, feeling suddenly rather shy at my request. This was what I had wanted so badly all afternoon yet I couldn't help feeling a little shy asking.

"Yeah." Emily smiled shyly as she scooted closer to me and brought up her legs, tucking them sideways and settling her thighs on mine. I automatically lifted my right arm and encircled it around her shoulders, pulling us even closer. To my utter dismay, Emily grabbed the television remote and turned on the telly, flicking through the channels for a bit before settling on some crappy game show. So much for planning to spend some quiet cuddling time together, the telly just had to be the third party. I was about to grumble about that when Emily wrapped her arms around me, snuggled against me and rested her head on my shoulder, effectively shutting me up.

Contentment settled upon me. This was nice, watching some crappy show on my crappy telly and being wrapped up in Emily's arms on a late rainy afternoon. This wasn't something I normally did. This was simple and strangely satisfying. I sighed deeply and inhaled her scent that was mingled with the rain. She even smelled nice with rainwater in her hair.

"Gee Em you smell like rain," I nosed the hair near her temple and sniffed.

"Oh, I should wash up again," she said, attempting to pull away but I held her tightly to me.

"No! I mean, it's nice, you smell nice with the rain." I threaded my fingers through her hair and loosened the slightly damp ends watching her eyelids flutter close. She liked that. That is something to take note of.

"You're weird," Emily giggled and replied with an amused and low husky tone.

"Oh yeah? Too bad you're stuck with me."

Emily smiled, lifted her head and kissed me gently on the cheek before turning back to watching the game show, which I found out, was 'Minute To Win It'.

I was entertained for a while but I was eventually watching Emily watch the game show. Seriously, watching her was ten times more interesting than watching the game show. She gasped when the contestant dropped the marble, gripped my shirt when time was running out, cheered when he completed the task. All I could think of was when she would be gripping my shirt, pulling it off and gasping my name when I did things to her. Shit this was terrible; I had a one-track mind.

I blinked it away and looked at Emily again, recalling everything between us. At that moment when she agreed to be my girlfriend, I felt so _so_ fucking happy and extremely relived. I smiled till my jaw hurt; my heart swelled threatened to burst. Every jealous feeling dissipated and relief washed over me as Emily kissed my uncertainties away. I had thought I was taking things too fast and it might be scaring her, after all she never had a boyfriend or _girlfriend_. But when she clarified things and kissed me, it squashed all my doubts and my heart just took flight for her.

I was fucking enamoured with her. I found every bit of her fascinating, enthralling, captivating, mesmerizing. I wanted to know every bit about her, to what makes her tick, what makes her sad, what makes her happy and what turns her on. I wanted to spend every minute by her side because she makes me feel like I've become someone different. I've never considered myself to be lonely; I had a small group of best friends, I was playing basketball in school, I had fans, I had girls clamouring to be my girlfriend but I never knew what I was missing until Emily showed up and filled a gap in my life that I never even knew existed. She made me a happier person from the first time I really knew her; she was more in-tuned with me than no one else had been. I don't know how to describe this; it's like we just connect on a mutual level. And it's kind of ridiculous to feel all of this when we've only been together for a short while but I guess this is the special connection with her that separates her and the other girls.

Her sitting in my arms, snuggling into me, sharing little random kisses – it felt so natural and made to be like we'd be doing for weeks or months or years. I marveled how we fell into an easy comfortableness that we already achieved being together for just about a week.

"You're staring again." Emily voice broke my thoughts as she turned her head to me.

I looked silently into her beautiful eyes and we held our gaze. The way she was looking at me was, tender yet intense, like she was looking at something deep within me, something I'm not even sure what it was. No one ever looked at me like that and made me feel overwhelmed at the way she was looking at me. She made me feel open and vulnerable but secure all at the same time. This girl could seriously ruin me. She could break my heart; she could leave me crushed; she could make me die for her.

_I can sense it; something important is about to happen. It's coming up._

"You make me so happy," I admitted quietly, laying my heart bare like I've never done before.

Her stare was intense, intensified; her eyes were dark, looking, searching. Then a flitting pass of acknowledgment exchanged between us. If I was afraid that I was the only one completely invested in this relationship, I didn't really have to be.

Relationship. How that word actually meant something to me now. All of mine had been frivolous, fleeting and ephemeral. This was something that I wanted to last, something serious, something precious, and something special as all that it was with Emily.

"I feel the same too," she replied softly as she closed her eyes and leant in.

I met her kiss halfway and sighed happily at the contact of our lips. I kissed her softly and delicately, tasting her delectable lips. Everything about this was tender and we both didn't want to push it. I was just content with this, kissing her, telling her all that she meant to me, a seal of our mutual acknowledgement. We kissed languidly and tenderly, small kisses filled with a slow burning passion. Emily's hand started to rub small circles on my lower back and I pulled her further into my arms, still keeping the softness of our kisses. I'm not sure if she was aware of it but I was very aware of her push-up bra-clad t-shirt covered breasts pressing gently against mine. This small contact alone was shooting tiny watts of static both to my mind and my core, creating a small pool between my legs. This was insanely erogenous; yet so gentle and so gratifying.

_It takes courage to enjoy it. The hardcore and the gentle, big time sensuality._

I don't know how long we went on but the telly was abandoned and so were our books. The rain continued to beat down relentlessly, the thunder rumbled louder than ever but nothing could break us out of our little bubble. We created our own world where only us existed and everything else just didn't matter.

Just then, there was a sound of a key turning in its lock and the front door swung open.

"Terrible weather! It's been raining bollocks for nearly three hours! Naomi! Did you – OH!" Mom burst through the front door complaining about the weather, shaking her huge black umbrella and slamming the door shut.

Emily pulled away at the sound of the intruder and immediately blushed, pressing her forehead against my shoulder hiding her face. I groaned inwardly. Why does my mom have to always spoil moments like this? She certainly had a way to make a grand entrance. This was somewhat similar to the day when I invited Emily over and confessed my attraction to her. At least this time Emily didn't freak out and push away from me.

"Hi Emily nice to see you here again!" My mother beamed overly brightly with an excited chirpy voice.

"Hi Gina," Emily looked up and returned a polite greeting, face still flushed from being caught kissing me.

"I'll be going upstairs to change and check the windows. You girls can carry on with it." My mother gave me a knowing look and hurried past us smiling manically.

"God this is so embarrassing," Emily buried her face at the side of my neck and groaned.

"What is?"

"Your mom catching us kissing again is what!" She pulled back and gave me a horrified look.

I chuckled at her reaction, "She didn't seem to mind. In fact, she even instructed us to carry on." My eyes flicked down to her lips. They were pink, slightly swollen from kissing and oh so damn deliciously moist. I licked my lips in anticipation and leant in with gusto to attack them.

"Don't," Emily gently pushed me away. "Your mom's home." She obviously feels very shy about this and I didn't push it, though very grudgingly.

"Emily would you like some tea?" Gina's voice floated down as she descended the stairs.

"We're busy mom." I said with as much finality to my tone as possible hoping she'd get the hint that I wanted to be left alone.

"Nonsense! A little tea would hurt! Emily dear, would you like some? Herbal tea perhaps? Has Naomi been treating you well? I see she has offered you her Garibaldis. Those alone are a bit too dry I feel. It will go excellent with tea. You know, tea and biscuits go well." Gina chattered away.

I rolled my eyes and closed them for a few seconds suppressing my faint annoyance. I love my mom, I really do, but she really was daft and knew how to intrude in the most inappropriate of times.

Emily laughed and looked at me, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "Thanks Gina tea would be great!"

I huffed at Emily's reply and gave her a sad disapproving pout as mom banged away at the tins and kettle creating a bit of a din. I definitely need to have a few words with that woman.

"Girls! Would you come and give me a hand with the tea cups?"

I grimaced and sighed. The water's not even boiled yet for fucks sake. Can she be even more obvious that she wants to interrupt us?

"Come on babe." Emily chuckled and gave a final peck on my lips before untangling herself from me, standing and pulling me up by the hand.

She dragged me into the kitchen as I grumbled inaudibly to myself. Gina was busying herself over some tins, apparently deciding which tea to brew.

"What kind of tea do you have?" Emily asked curiously as my mother opened a few tins.

I took a seat at the wooden table, propping my legs up on the chair as I watched Emily and my mother interact over tealeaves. Honestly, I was glad mom seemed to have taken an immense liking to Emily and Emily with her. I could tell that Emily was attentively listening as she rattled away the different types of herbs and leaves, their properties and their uses. I grabbed a couple of garibaldis and munched away, zoning out of their tea discussion because I was looking at Emily move about in my t-shirt and shorts. She looked so goddamn sexy in them, the curve of her breasts and the way her hips swayed, and her red hair, oh so vibrant and alluring. I thought she looked great with red hair as she did with her natural brown one. God this girl is spectacularly beautiful.

"Naomi. Naomi! Stop staring at Emily and make yourself useful," Gina's voice cut through my thoughts. She eyed me with a cheeky glint in her eye. "Get the cups from the cupboard."

I flushed indignantly and sheepishly, catching Emily's shy look. I wondered what is the benchmark number of times that staring at your girlfriend's arse is acceptable before being over creepy.

I strode over to the cupboard and took out three cups, placing them a little too hard on the table.

"Don't mind her Emily dear, Naomi's always sulky for unknown reasons," Gina said breezily, pouring the brewed tea out of the pot and into the cups.

"I do not sulk!"

"She can be a bit of a moody cow at times," Gina continued like she didn't hear me, "especially when she was pining for you at that time…"

"Mother!" I bristled, feeling my face heat up in great embarrassment as Emily quirked her lips and raised an eyebrow at me.

Mom carried on, "Oh shush you were positively gushing over her even when you thought she didn't fancy you at all."

Emily lowered her eyes and turned a delicate shade of red at mom's comment.

"Remind me never to confide in you again." I rolled my eyes pointedly and crossed my arms.

Gina laughed and threw me another knowing smile. Yes she was annoying but I knew I needed her at that time when I was down and didn't know what to do. She was always for me, there for me, giving me the advice I needed. And Emily was mine now. Both Effy and her had a part to play in this.

Fortunately, conversation steered away from that and into a general territory. Gina talked mostly to Emily and asked about herself and her family. Emily was delightedly answering questions and really making great conversation. She was very sweet and respectful to her. Most importantly both of them felt comfortable conversing with each other, sharing a good few laughs.

It was all good until mom unearthed a slim, battered and old leather book. My eyes widened in horror as mom sat down at the table and started to peel open those slightly dusty pages that held frightening photos of my childhood. Oh my god, this woman is going to embarrass every stage of my life.

"What are you doing?" I almost screamed, "You haven't taken that out for _years_!"

"Exactly! And now's an excellent time. Emily can get to know you better!"

I cursed fluently under my breath and covered my face with my hands as Gina enthusiastically showed my photos to Emily. Oohs and aahs fiiled my ears they poured over my photos. It wasn't a thick album but Gina seemed to be telling an exaggerated story behind every photo. I didn't know whether to be frustrated with her or delighted at Emily's interest in my embarrassing photos. I didn't think I was a cute kid like most children where. I had a mob of unkempt hair most of the time and was a little on the scrawny underfed side as we had not much then. Though photos at that time were expensive to develop, Gina had taken them, though sparingly which explains the thin album; she'd insisted that photos were important to her to record my growing stages.

"Awww," both of them said in unison.

"What? What photo's that?" I snapped my head up.

"Naoms you look so cute washing your head with soap," Emily giggled.

A strangled scream erupted from my throat. It was a photo of myself sitting in a small plastic tub with my head full of soapsuds. I was naked and beaming brightly at the camera. I was two and it isn't a big deal that I was photographed bathing because that was what our childhood photos are made of but that didn't mean I was okay with Emily looking at my topless two year old self!

"Enough!" I grumbled.

Emily dragged her chair over and ran her fingers gently up and down my arm and that surprisingly was soothing me. She brushed her nose against my cheek and whispered into my ear, "You look really adorable you know that?"

"When I was two or now?" I snaked my arm around her waist pulling her nearer to me.

"When you were two of course." She gave me a side grin.

"Cheeky." I kissed her nose and automatically moved to her lips.

"My my look at the time it's nearly six!" Gina suddenly exclaimed.

I had quite forgotten she was still in the kitchen but she just had to interrupt hadn't she. My eyes shot daggers at her oblivious self.

"And dear me it's still raining though it's not quite as heavy," said Gina peeking out of the windows. "You've got to stay for dinner Emily dear."

I looked at Emily and nodded insistently.

"I'd love to," Emily replied with a smile.

"Afraid we don't have much though. Would you mind some reheated leftover homemade pasta? I promise you it's great! But I'll throw in a fish and prepare some soup to go along." Gina opened the refrigerator and started taking out food.

Not long after we were settled at the kitchen table, tucking heartily into the meal and drinking a can of beer each.

"This is delicious," Emily said between bites. "Nothing like my mom's food."

"What does she cook?" Gina asked.

"She's into like, health food and stuff since dad owns a gym." Emily swallowed. "We never had canned soup. Ours is like soup with weird beetroot and cabbage in it. James calls it bollocky wankshite." She half chuckled and gave a grossed out face.

"Sounds like you should come over for dinner more often yeah?" Gina said and I agreed happily.

I never thought I'd find myself one day sitting in the kitchen with my mother and girlfriend for two hours, having a slow dinner easy conversation. I was enjoying watching the interaction and didn't want dinner to end as that meant Emily would leave. Thankfully Gina cracked open another can of beer for her and brought out a slice of cheesecake for dessert. That really prolonged the dinner as Emily was taking really tiny bites out of the cake, claiming she was too full to go on but eventually finishing it.

"I think I should be going soon," Emily declared, pushing off from the table and wobbled a little after attempting to stand.

I tried not to let my face fall too distinctively. I glanced at the clock; it was a little past nine. Time flew by too quickly when Emily's around.

"Thank you so much for the dinner Gina," Emily said graciously.

"Not at all my dear, it's been too long since Naomi's brought back someone I've taken quite a liking to." Gina winked and Emily smiled shyly. That was her stamp of approval of Emily. You've no idea how much that meant to me.

I got up grudgingly from my chair and followed Emily to get her clothes for her to change back into. I wanted her to stay the night but there was absolutely no reason to. The rain had stopped and though the air was chilly and the ground was cold and wet, it was no excuse to make her stay. Besides, I don't know whether Emily was comfortable to stay the night with me, in my bed. I mean, we weren't gonna do anything. God help me how much I'd like to take things further but it was way to early; I don't want to scare her or push her. I am resolved to taking things slow although it's using every ounce of resolution in me not to pounce on her every time when I'm alone with her.

"Oh no!" Emily was patting her jeans and looking distraught.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"They're still damp."

"S'alright I can lend you clothes." Gina was leaning against the kitchen door in her apron watching this exchange. Our eyes met and I caught a strange look from her eye.

"Why don't you stay over?" Gina casually said like she was airing a passing thought. From where she stood, her gaze never left me; this time there was a glint in her eye. I literally froze; what was she playing at? My heart started thumping against my ribs as I stole a tiny glance at Emily.

Emily paused in her actions and looked uncertainly at Gina. "T-That wouldn't be nice," she stuttered, fiddling her damp clothes.

"It's not a problem!" Gina waved her hands, brushing Emily's concern away. "Besides, it's getting late now and I don't want a girl like you to go home alone."

"It's okay I'll walk her," I suggested, trying my best to be helpful. I didn't want to cause Emily any discomfort if I also insisted that she stayed over but I was sure wishing very hard she did.

"Plus," Gina added ignoring my comment and peering out the window again, "it's cold and it looks like it might rain again."

Emily shifted uneasily and looked at me, waiting for some kind of response. I gave the most nonchalant shrug of my life like I didn't mind if she did or didn't stay over. Honestly I was tensed up from the anticipation. Okay, Emily staying over shouldn't be a big deal right? I mean she might not even share my bed; she could insist on taking the couch even though I wouldn't let that happen. Damn my mom. I don't know if I should be grateful or try to strangle her in her sleep for trying to put this gorgeous redhead of a temptation in my room.

"Okay, maybe I could take the couch? I don't want to be a trouble." Emily said after a little hesitation.

"That is out of the question!" Gina exclaimed. "We don't have a spare room but you could perhaps share Naomi's bed if you're fine with that?"

I swear my eyes widened considerably. I swallowed and glanced sideways at Emily who was giving me an equally startled look. Oh shit, she looks like she's having strong reservations about this. This was a bad move from Gina. Really bad move. She's scaring the fuck out of Emily.

"If – If N-Naomi doesn't mind?" Emily's husky voice trembled as she spoke.

My heart started racing wildly when I heard those words. _I'm going to share a bed with Emily? I'm going to share a bed with Emily!_

"I could take the couch if you're uncomfortable?" I said, throwing in my last chance of attempting a feigned reservation at this sleeping arrangement.

"Now that won't be necessary," Gina chuckled amusedly. "I'm sure Naomi wouldn't mind sleeping with you would she?"

I flushed crimson at those words. I bet she said those words on purpose! Oh my god this was so inappropriate; my mother seems to be trying to get me laid. Not that I mind but – no! this is Emily and this was too fast. I had violent internal struggle with my hormones, sanity and emotions and tried desperately to suppress the surge of excitement that was starting to rise in me. That failed and images of passion and tangled limbs flashed like neon lights in my mind.

I gripped my t-shirt tightly and took steady breaths to calm my hyperventilating mind. "My bed definitely has room for two," I said as calmly as my voice could manage, giving a very neutral answer. I noticed that Emily's face had also gone slightly red. I wondered if she also caught on to what Gina was insinuating.

"Sorted then!" Gina concluded and beamed at the both of us.

After this awkward exchanged, Emily fired off a text informing Katie that she wouldn't be home. We proceeded to wash and dry our plates and cups. I was washing the plates and taking a deliberately long time to getting it done. If I dragged on with the washing up, I wouldn't have to face the daunting task of sharing a bed with Emily. Eager as I was, I was still afraid of what was going to happen. Let me correct that; nothing was going to happen. Emily would keep to her side and I to mine with my hands firmly to myself. Yep that's exactly what I'm gonna do.

I washed the final plate and handed to Emily who was drying them. We didn't talk much to each other, both focusing on our tasks like obedient kids while Gina chattered with both of us while clearing the kitchen.

After that, I collected my books and headed up to my room deciding to clear up the bit of a mess my room is. I folded some clothes and kept them, neatened my untidy desk and straightened the double pillows on my bed. I realised my hands were slightly trembling and my heart beating erratically. Fucking hell I was bloody nervous and I couldn't figure out why. I don't usually let the ex-girlfriends stay over; I usually preferred to stay over at theirs. I guess I just didn't want to let them into my room much. But I'd willing let Emily stay over and was even clearing up the room like I wanted it to be perfect for her. It was out of character but felt so naturally normal to do this for her.

"Mind if I come in?" Emily stood outside the door and shyly poked her head in.

"Sure, I'm just tidying some stuff up." I stacked a few more books neatly before turning to her.

She stood unsurely, glancing around and rubbing her hand absent-mindedly on her forearm, her fringe falling over her eyes. I could tell she was nervous but I didn't want her to feel that way; I wanted her to feel comfortable, at ease in my own room; I wanted her to feel like she belonged here.

I gave her a new toothbrush and a fresh towel for her to wash up in my tiny toilet. After she was done, I brushed my teeth and washed my face, still trying to take my time. My nerves were all jittery, my hands fumbled clumsily as I changed my top and I knocked my elbow against the basin. Finally, I soothed my hair and took a deep breath before emerging from the toilet. Emily was looking through the books in my overstuffed bookshelf and looking seriously engrossed in it. I snuck up to her and wrapped my arms around her.

"Hey," I said resting my head on her shoulder, feeling her learn her warm body against me. My nerves dissipated and I felt more relaxed as her hands came up to rub gently on my arms. If there was a slight tension between us earlier on, it was all gone.

"You've so many good books," Emily replied, smiling as she traced the spines of the row of books with her forefinger.

"You can borrow them if you like."

"Really?"

"Of course. Let's go to bed?" I suggested when she stifled a yawn and nodded.

She pulled out the covers and got in on the right side while I took the left, switching off the bedside lamp. It didn't matter which side I took as I usually slept in the middle. Sharing a bed wasn't what I was accustomed to do but I would gladly have Emily in my bed.

"Good night Naoms." She gave a gentle peck on my lips and shuffled away, turning away from me resting on her right side, pulling the covers up to her chest.

I pulled the covers up around me, feeling rather strange as I glanced at Emily curled up on her side away from me. She was almost at the edge of the bed, leaving a huge gap of unused space between us. I swear if I poked her just a bit, she'd fall right off; that was how far I felt she was.

Was she feeling uncomfortable sharing the bed? I didn't want her to feel that way. Having her on her on my bed yet being so distant was painful. Cuddling on the couch was much more intimate than sleeping on separate sides of the bed. I wanted to go back to that moment. I reached over past the gap, wanting to stroke her beautiful red hair that was splayed on the pillow but stopped myself midway. Instead, I shuffled a little nearer to the centre of the bed.

"Ems, you don't have to sleep so far away you know." My voice sounded more disappointed than I actually meant for it to be. "I won't bite."

"What?" Emily turned around facing me, looking confused.

"Is this awkward? I mean – I don't want you to be uncomfortable sharing the bed, maybe I should take the couch." I resolved to do that. I really like this girl and if she wasn't used to sharing the same bed yet, I sure as hell wasn't going to make her uncomfortable even though it was making me extremely disappointed.

I felt Emily pull my arm. "No!" Emily said and closed the gap between us, "It's not that it's just – I thought you're not used to sharing a bed. So I wanted to give you more space."

This was unbelievable. This girl is unbelievable, in a good way. How did I manage to snag such a wonderfully considerate girlfriend? To think she was worried about me not having my own space!

"I do like my space but you're always an exception." I shuffled even closer watching her lips curl into a smile.

"Well lucky me. I was starting to feel cramped with the little space in that corner." She adjusted her head until her eyes were level with mine, our noses a few inches away from each other.

This was so much better. My eyes had adjusted to the dark and I could make out her delicate features from the faint moonlight that was streaming through the slightly opened window behind the bed.

My eyes flicked unwittingly to her lips and back to hers noticing that her eyes were trained on me. In a silent understanding, we inched our heads closer and I gently brushed my lips against hers, just barely grazing.

"Goodnight girls!" My mother called from behind my closed door. Both of us away jolted a bit. "Try not to be too loud!" I could hear that blatant cheeky tone in her voice. I made up my mind that I'll strangle her one day.

"Ugh sorry about my mom." I shook my head and pulled an annoyed and embarrassed face.

Emily chuckled, "Don't be, she's nice. I like her."

"Yeah? She can be so embarrassing sometimes." I rolled my eyes.

Emily chuckled a bit more. We both fell silent just staring into each other's eyes. I could never get bored watching her. I was a little too awake to fall asleep right away.

"I sleep naked," I blurted inappropriately, airing the first thought that popped into my mind in that peaceful lull.

"Huh?" Her eyes widened not knowing what to say.

"Just so you know."

"And?" A small smile crept up her face.

"And I'm a bit uncomfortable now." I threw a cheeky smile in return, loving to tease her.

She gave a laugh and nudged me gently on the ribs, "Unfortunately there's nothing I can do about it."

I adjusted my head on the pillow again, both of us silently staring tirelessly into each other's eyes. I was secretly admiring how pretty the shape of her eyes were and how long and luscious her lashes were when she blinked.

Hesitantly, Emily raised her right hand and gently brushed her thumb against my cheek. I looked into her dark brown expressive eyes as she continued, tracing her forefinger at the base of my hairline, feeling her finger curve past my temple, over the contours of my outer ear, past my ear lobe and the base of my jaw ending at the point of my chin. The trail she traced with her fingertip left my skin tingling. I watched her, aroused at the sensuality of the merest of touches. Then she started again, still hesitantly, soothing the length of my eyebrow, retracing it again, and sliding the tip of her finger down to the bridge of my nose. My eyes fluttered shut at her touch; the rate of my heartbeats steadily increased. It felt like she was studying me, tracing me, drawing me, memorizing me, like she was sketching me over and over as though trying to commit me to memory as I was doing the same with her.

My eyelids flicked open as she traced over the point of my nose, down the philtrum and over the spot on my lower lip that was hurt just earlier today.

"Sorry," Emily whispered sounding remorseful again, training her eyes on that spot, tracing it even more tenderly then ever.

"S'okay." I managed to croak out and gave a tiny shrug.

Her tongue darted out to wet her lips briefly and my eyes automatically trained on them. The air between us hung still and silent except from the fresh drizzling rain. Emily lifted herself a little and leant towards me, tilting her head up and pressing a tender kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes as she placed another between my eyebrows, feeling her soft hair tickle my nose. I clenched and unclenched my hands, desperately wanting to pull her body against mine but I didn't want to stop what she was doing. I felt her warm breath fluttering against my cheek as she hovered, catching the slight whiff of minty toothpaste. Her lips kissed my cheek, then again, grazing her nose, gliding and ghosting over my tingling skin, all the way to my ear. Her warm breath hit my ear as she gently blew against it sending a deep delicious bone-shaking shiver down my spine all the way to my core. I've never been so turned on in my life and we hadn't touched or kissed yet.

"You're so beautiful," she barely whispered those words, her voice an octave lower and extremely husky.

I exhaled a shuddering breath and in an instant, Emily's lips were on mine kissing me with an intense smoldering hunger. She cupped my cheek and deepened the kiss as I opened my mouth, our tongues seeking, meeting and sliding sloppily against each other's. Her hands tangled themselves in my blonde tresses and I moaned loudly as she tugged at my hair, pulling my head impossibly closer, kissing me with a fiery and passionate frenzy. My insides undulated, sending a torrid burst of wetness into my already sodden knickers.

I gripped her waist and turned her over gently without breaking our kisses so that her head was on the pillow instead. Half my body hovered above her as I detached our lips hearing her slight undecipherable protests. _Hands to yourself,_ my brain somehow interjected those words into my cloudy and hazy Emily-filled mind. I placed both elbows flat on the bedding beside her head, crouched over and pressed a much slower open mouth kissed a the side of her neck, gently sucking and tasting the sweet scent of her skin, careful not to make a mark. Emily exhaled a low groan and gripped my waist, tilting her head up giving me more access to her slender neck; her breath coming in short shallow bursts. I was dipping into dangerous territory. Part of my mind wanted to pull back and take this even slower or we'll end up going further than this.

But my half starved body had been celibate for so long. And I haven't had this rush of euphoria from just kissing for the longest time. Every pore of my skin galvanised where Emily touched or brushed. But this should never always be about me. I would think Emily would be more anxious if we took things further. From the innocence of everything we had previously done, I believed this would be her first time. I wanted her first to be perfect.

My bodily need overruled my mind as her fragrance mingled with the rain overwhelmed me. I kissed the spot on her neck where I sucked and flicked my tongue over, proceeding to kiss and flick over the rest of her smooth milky flesh. I delighted as I listened to her releasing tiny noises of approval, feeling her swallow frantically and lick her lips. My knees were straddling her thigh and I could only just do enough to stop myself from grinding into her.

Emily placed a hand behind my neck, urging me to kiss her, which I happily complied, crashing them together with renewed fervor and tasting her sweet minty breath once again. Her other hand came to rest on my hip, scrunching up my t-shirt, causing it to bunch up a little above my hip. My mind went into overdrive as she slid a finger unhurriedly over the exposed flesh that was between the waistband of my shorts and the hem of my bunched t-shirt. The flesh there possibly seared at her touch, turning up the heat in my body a few more notches. It was getting harder and harder to resist her. Why then was I holding back so much? She obviously was showing all the signs of going further albeit really slowly.

_We just met and I know I'm a bit too intimate but something huge is coming up and we're both included._

Still kissing her heatedly, I managed to push aside all protests of taking things slow in my mind and bravely placed my left hand on her stomach, pushing up her t-shirt a little; I slowly slipped my hand in, the tips of my fingers meeting her smooth skin near the waistband of her shorts. My heart pounded wildly as we continued to kiss relentlessly, very well aware that she wasn't adverse to my touch. Feeling even bolder than before, I dragged my finger tips up her flat and toned stomach. Her eyes were tightly shut and I felt her abs tighten as she sucked in a breath that wiped out the air from my lungs, moaning into my lips as I traced my thumb on the underside of her bra, barely grazing the piece of material. Her skin was so fucking warm and smooth and altogether so desirable under my fingertips. My brain screamed at me insisting on the need for much more contact.

_It takes courage to enjoy it. The hardcore and the gentle, big time sensuality._

I stretched my fingers, placing my whole hand flat on the gentle bumps of her ribs before sliding and inching upwards, millimetre by millimetre, feeling the smooth texture of her flesh beneath my palm, reaching upwards, lightly cupping her right breast and curling my fingers over that glorious part of her, feeling it fit perfectly in the palm of my hand. I was right all along; she was wearing a push-up bra. A wave of excitement rippled through me as my mind flashed back to the only time, which I was made to hold her tit in the most inappropriate of circumstances. This was so much better, so much more satisfying. And Emily hadn't shied away from my touch.

I gave a gentle squeeze; the sensation of holding Emily's tit started a conflagration in my core, my mind spontaneously combust with exhilaration. To my unfortunate surprise, Emily gasped and unattached our lips, almost jerking her head away from me. I immediately recalled my hand, pulling it right out of her t-shirt hastily.

Both of us were breathing heavily, staring at each other; a small space was created between us. None of us dared to make the first move. I was sure I had push the boundaries groping her tit but I didn't know if I crossed the line or whether this was the start of something more. Emily's lips were parted and even her eyes looked darker, if it was possible, in the dark. I wasn't sure if I should go for it.

But she looked down briefly breaking the moment. It was then I decided that I had possibly crossed the line.

"Sorry," I muttered and shifted further away, creating a bit more personal space. I didn't want her to go running through the door.

Emily shook her head and returned a small smile that was shy yet full of tenderness. I was relieved that she wasn't freaking out.

"We'll take things slowly yeah?" I said, hopefully.

Emily nodded. "Can we just go to sleep?" Her husky voice rasped.

To my delight, she snuggled up to me, resting her head at the crook of my neck, closing her eyes and sighed contentedly. Thank fuck things didn't get awkward. My core was still aching painfully and I could feel my knickers sodden and slick against my skin yet I didn't want to move. I so bloody turned on yet I couldn't do anything about it to relieve myself. No matter, this was still perfect. My heart rate was still clocking world records for a body at rest and I was almost certain Emily would be able to feel it. Feeling the need to be close and connected, I laced my fingers through hers, breathing in her scent, trying to calm my frantic heart.

She squeezed my hand and murmured, "Glad I stayed over." And after a pause she added, "It's still pouring."

"You can stay here any time, rain or not," I replied without thinking.

She gave a short laugh, "You just want to get me in your bed."

"And it's also nice just being with you like this." I replied, feeling her smile against my skin.

She readjusted herself, turning away from me so that I was spooning her instead. Her hips fit naturally, perfectly and snugly against mine. I wrapped a hand around her waist and reached for her hand, lacing our fingers together again, gently squeezing them. I placed a lingering kiss on her head and slipped a leg between hers, tangling them. Drifting peacefully to sleep, I felt for the first time, in absolute bliss.


	18. Ours

Hello again, if you still remember this story.

Appreciate the reviews **fookyeahskins, anon, TallyHo, djyxa, Busshunter, gordonMcphersonSays, ReadingNaomilyAllDayErDay, guest, kelevra2510, Biancabularach, ifsomebody'sgotsoul, bicuriouscarebear, guest, crazziii, solelessboots, Param0re1, GilmoreRos, TennesseeWhiskey, guest, fakevegan, PitaPumpkinEater, BlondieRedOrangeMoped, blueMoon28, Alice Boricua, Kane, mUfF MuNcHeR, guest, nachoooooo13, RockstarxX, hopelessnaomilyaddict, spikie142003, guest, s2pidm5.**

You all can't see it, but getting your reviews always, always puts a smile on my face. :)

This mightn't be my best and what y'all expect but it's what I've always planned it to be, so go easy on me yeah?

Oh and this is for my buddy who's been nothing but supportive and entertaining me through countless PMs. Again, not my best but I hope you'll like it and update yours soon. :)

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eighteen – Ours<strong>

**Emily**

My eyelids fluttered open and shut again. I took a deep sigh and stretched, feeling the muscles pull and contract.

I wake up to the same dream almost everyday.

The tangibility and realness of it was astounding. I lay on my bed recalling the dream I had. It was good. It was getting better, and it was actually real.

I lifted my hand and curled my fingers into a half closed ball, closing my eyes again, a small delightful smile breaking from my lips. Have you ever had dreams so real that you could actually_ feel _it? You know what I mean. In the dreams, I could almost literally feel Naomi's slender fingers lace through mine, gently squeezing mine. I shut my eyes tighter, trying to recall that moment in the dream, feeling and absorbing that moment all over again. Another flash of fragmented dream flew across my mind. This time I was kissing her. Lots of kissing. Not on the lips though but all over her face, over and over. She was smiling. I was smiling. In my dreams, I was fucking ecstatic, happy, delirious.

I wriggled my back deeper into my bed, snuggling into the covers, refusing to leave my cocoon of dream-filled haze.

I had a good idea where the dreams stemmed from, obviously. Our frequent make out sessions in her house, on the sofa, on her bed; holding hands while strolling down the streets; rolling on the floor of the basketball court; you know what, I didn't even need to dream about it; I was literally _living_ it. Dreaming about it was just the cherry on the ice cream sundae, which was already delicious.

Ever since the sleep over incident, we've been taking things slowly, rather too slow in fact. Naomi has been nothing but considerate and sweet and terribly innocent. After practically groping me that night, she has managed to keep her hands fully to herself, even during our heated make out sessions. It's like she has drawn a very thick indelible line as the boundary and stuck obstinately behind. I've got to admire her for that. I suppose I've only got myself to blame, you know, from bailing out then. I don't blame myself from running because – I knew I wasn't ready.

There were too many things I was afraid of. Physically for one, it was going to be my first and I'm just too shy with my body. I'm not sexy or confident with my body. Hell I didn't even dare to change in front of other girls in the girls' locker room. And what if Naomi took one good look at me, decided I was more ugly than her ex-girlfriend and dumped me. I believe she wasn't like that, truly, but these thoughts were stirring up a cauldron full of anxiety and worry in me.

But I've got to say, she's been really patient and understanding, keeping our relationship low because of my uncertainty. I know that has just got to say a lot and that I shouldn't doubt her. My brain is cluttered and in a mess. But after everything, I'm thankful that things work perfectly between us. All has been sunshine and rainbows. Everyday with her was an adventure. She was exciting and unpredictable and I never knew what I was going to expect. I was learning something new about her. I want to memorise her quirks, her peeves, her subtle facial expressions that told loads about her mood and thoughts. If I'd already knew all of them, I wanted to know more. I was insatiable. I want to know how is it like spending a weekend with her, waking up with her beside me everyday and eventually, what turns her on. Everything; all; entirely; unadulterated.

It isn't a bit excessively obsessive; after all, she has been the only person since I was twelve that I properly liked and that now, I think, I love.

* * *

><p>This was one of the few rare occasions, but I was late. My body refused to wake from a really deep and long stupor of a dream that I could now barely remember. Surprisingly I slept through the cacophony my alarm clock was making and the loud sounds Katie usually made as she rummages though her wardrobe trying on a few outfits for the day. I had grumbled at her after for not waking me up but in her defense, I was totally a dead log, dead to the world, out of it. Plus it wasn't like I was really late. I was just late in meeting Naomi who usually meets me halfway and we'd walk to school. Knowing this couldn't happen today, I quickly fired her a text.<p>

Katie left for school first and that left me enough space to sort out myself. I hurriedly took a quick shower and put on a pair of faded blue jeans and yellow tank top, topping it up with a wooly grey cardigan. Threading my fingers through my hair to loosen the damp strands at the end, I secured my hair into a ponytail with a rubber band. I took a last look at myself in the mirror. This has got to do. I dashed a few sprays of perfume before shutting the door of my room and scurried down the stairs.

Dad was sitting at the usual place at the table reading his morning paper and drinking coffee. I could hear Mom in the kitchen washing away in the kitchen.

"Morning Emily!" Dad looked up from his paper, his trademark grin on his face.

"Morning Dad, gotta run, I'm late." I huffed out shortly, reaching for a couple of slices of toast on the table and turning to leave.

"Hey kid," Dad called out to me, like he hadn't quite fully registered what all my flurry of actions were about. "You look really good today, different." He eyed me over his paper and smiled the kind of smile that almost seemed to imply a certain meaning. The thing is, I didn't even consciously "dress up" or wore something "different".

"T-thanks Dad," I stuttered unsurely.

He looked at me for a second longer and said, "Come give your old man a hug." He put down his paper and stood as I bewilderedly shuffled over. He held his arms out and enveloped me in a huge and tight hug.

I squeezed back tightly against my father's strong muscles, remembering the frequent hugs I got when I was younger and how they seem to get lesser as I grew up. I felt him gently kiss the top of my head and release me.

Suddenly rushing off to meet Naomi wasn't quite so important as this short and precious moment with my father.

"I gotta be going now." I started towards the front door.

"Yeah," he picked up his paper, looked at it briefly. "How's Naomi?" I heard him ask.

I stopped in my steps, midway through the living room. _What did he mean? Why did he suddenly ask me about her? _I turned around slowly, a possibly confounded and apprehensive look clouded my face.

"She's… okay? Why?"

He slowly sat down on the chair like he had all the time in the world. A sudden anxiousness grew in me. It seemed a long time before he spoke.

"She hasn't been here. Thought you girls are getting along well together eh? Thought you probably could invite her over for dinner, after all," he chuckled and added, "she promised to do some chin-ups for me."

_Dad, you definitely don't know how well we get along together._

"Oh." I exhibited relief in a nervous laugh, "I'll ask her when I see her."

"Great." He turned back to his paper. "I like her, she seems like a nice girl." He said that in a way like an afterthought, quiet mumble, more to himself than to me but I caught every word.

Another kind of relief washed over me. An immense indescribable weight that I never knew shifted and slipped off my shoulders. It was then that my father's oblivious approval of Naomi was important to me. Sure he didn't know about our relationship but at least, at the very least, I know, he liked Naomi as a person. And on that day where I would tell him about us, he wouldn't hate her because of her character; he would hate her just because I chose her instead of a guy. I think this is the difference to me. I didn't choose her because she was a girl, I chose her because of her being her. I hope, it wouldn't come down to the hating part and that he could see her for her personality and see me being really happy with her.

I doubled back, almost striding over purposefully, and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Thanks Dad," I said. He looked at me with a surprised expression, not knowing what I was thanking him for.

"Have a great day love."

And with that, I bounced off to school, and my heart followed, leaping.

.

.

I met JJ, Lara, Panda and Thomas as I got to school. We were all at the lockers retrieving our books while listening to Panda's latest exciting experience complete with wild and exaggerated gestures. A few days back, I had told all of them, even Lara, about Naomi and I. The news surprised them but needless to say, all of them were ecstatic for me. Panda had demanded to know the whole story and listened to it with rapt attention while JJ had a smug and knowing look on. I indulged in most of the details, leaving out the slightly more explicit ones. The talk had turned out into a little bit of a self-searching session.

"_Do you all think I'm… you know, gay?"_

_JJ looked thoughtfully at me, "Do you like Naomi?"_

"_Well yeah, I do. I like her a lot."_

"_More than cheese?" Panda added._

"_More than cheese."_

"_Would you like Naomi if she was a boy?" Thomas asked._

"_Erm, I think so? But I don't think I'd rather she be a boy, really."_

"_Do you catch yourself thinking about other girls, like fantasizing over them, or staring at they're tits or bums or you know, if you're getting hot and bothered, you think about girls in general to you know, get off and you imagine them going do – "_

"_JJ! Too much! And no, I don't think of girls like that!"_

"_Then yes you're gay," JJ concluded, "Gay for Naomi." Lara smacked him on the arm._

"_You're not gay," Thomas said, "You just like Naomi for who she is and she so happens to be a girl."_

"_And you all are okay with that?" I had been gushing over a girl for ages and they were all cool about it. Now it feels that I've realise I've turned all lesbian without knowing._

"_Why wouldn't we be? We are who we are for a lot of reasons and maybe we'll never know most of them." Thomas placed his hand over mine reassuringly, kindly. "You are still Emily to us. Our brave, funny, intelligent and caring Emily."_

_I smiled at Thomas, a tiny tear threatened to break out from my eye, "Thank you."_

"_Follow your heart Emily."_

_And from that, I figured I didn't have to put a label on myself. I was me._

I snapped out of my thoughts that I've momentarily stepped into when I felt my phone buzz a new text message tone.

**You look wonderful today :) – Naomi**

My heart fluttered instantly and I could barely conceal the slow smile that spread across my lips. I lifted my head and stood on my toes scanning around the hall, trying desperately to find that favourite shade of blonde I so loved to see. And there she was, somewhere down the row of lockers across from where I was, almost hidden by her friends but I could clearly see her face. She had a side smile on her face as she briefly looked at me while nodding along to what Freddie was talking about.

I turned my attention back to my phone, barely registering what Panda was jabbering about and fired a text back.

**You always say that. – Emily**

**I always mean it.  
>I want to kiss you. – Naomi<strong>

I blushed hard and bit my lip, trying and failing to suppress another smile from blossoming because, so help me, that's exactly what I want to do to Naomi right now.

**I love to see the look on your face when you read my text messages. – Naomi**

Oh god. I whipped my head to look at her. Naomi's eyes were cast down, looking at her phone and completely ignoring what the rest were talking around her. She was biting her lower lip, a similar suppressed smile on her lips. She looked up and at me, our gazes colliding through a suspension of space and time. They held a continuum of feelings ranging from a simple longing and an urgency of desperate want.

Just then, I realised four pairs of eyes looking at me. JJ was smirking, Lara and Thomas were smiling knowingly, and Panda eyes were wide and round, her mouth slightly agape.

"What?" I threw a word of defense to counter the looks they were giving me.

"That Naomi?" JJ asked the obvious, the knowing smirk still on his face.

"Emsy your face's so red. What're – OOH – are you _sexting?_" Panda exclaimed a little too loudly.

"SHHHHH!" Three other voices shushed her in unison as Thomas clamped his hand over Panda's mouth muffling little excited squeals that were still escaping.

"No, Panda! God!" I almost shrieked, feeling my face flush again.

The four of them collectively pivoted their heads to look at Naomi as though looking at her would enlighten them on whether we were sexting. Naomi on the other hand suddenly looked like she was determinedly talking to James and ignoring the four nosey heads gawking at her.

"Stop looking!" I smacked their heads.

"Have you been makin' monkey?" I swear Panda was almost the less aggressive female version of James sometimes.

"Panda, I'm sure Emily doesn't want to talk about this," Lara interrupted kindly.

"You're right, but no! We're not – we haven't –"

My phoned buzzed again and I looked at it, totally forgetting what I was saying to them.

**Meet you at the toilet. – Naomi**

A flush crept up my cheeks again. I looked up again and saw the same four eyes fixed on me like they were watching an interesting scene of some primetime tv show.

"Stop it you guys." I rolled my eyes and typed a reply.

**But class is about to start. – Emily**

"We should be heading for English now." JJ steered us in the direction of our classroom.

**Just one minute. – Naomi**

"I'll catch up with you in class." I backtracked, my heart pounding in my ears as adrenaline rushed through my body at the prospect of seeing Naomi. I could never resist her.

"Where are you going? Class is going to start!" JJ yelled over the increasing distance between us.

"Just one minute!" I shouted the exact same words that got my blood all fired up.

Breaking into a small run, I pushed through the throng of students that were hindering me from quickly getting to my girlfriend. It was the isolated single toilet at the end of the hall, hidden away where no lockers were and where there were possibly less people now. I rushed towards it with the feigned urgency of someone with a stomachache.

I pulled the lever of the handle down and burst through the door, knowing it wasn't locked just like previous times. I almost swung the door into an awaiting and expectant Naomi; it was such a tiny cubicle. My left hand was pulled by her own and I just barely could flick the toilet door close with my other hand when she pulled me into her arms and crashed her lips onto mine.

It just took me half a second to respond to her flurry of hot kisses and I matched hers with equal eagerness. I fucking miss kissing her; her soft lips, her wet tongue, and the sweet minty taste of her breath. It felt achingly long since I've properly kissed her although I swear it was just yesterday.

"Fuck, I've missed you." Naomi managed to punctuate the words through breathless kisses.

I only could hum in approval, communicating my exact same sentiments as Naomi was inexorably assaulting my lips.

I raised my hand, instinctively to rest on the back of her neck but before it could place it, I suddenly remembered we hadn't locked the door. My hand took a detour course and violently swiped the empty air behind me, blindly reaching for the handle. I pulled my body back without extricating our lips, making my body slant awkwardly at some angle, the same hand straining to find the lock.

Naomi pushed me backwards and my back collided gently with the door; she pushed her hips into mine, her hands roaming freely up and down my sides setting my body instantly on fire. My hand finally connected with the lock. I fumbled ridiculously long through a mist of distractions and finally bolted it shut with a loud click.

As though the sound of the lock had snapped us from our kissing haze, Naomi slowly pulled her lips away and pushed off me, just keeping us a few centimetres apart. I sighed, completely satisfied as I opened my eyes, meeting her brilliant blue ones and a loopy grin on her face. I was pretty fucking sure I had a silly grin on my face too.

I lifted my hands and rested them on her shoulders drawing her closer to me again. I just had to feel her close to me, savour every minute with her. Naomi shuffled in towards me so that our hips were just touching each other again and wrapped her arms around my waist, pressing me flushed against the door once again. We stared into each other's eyes as though we haven't seen each other for a long time. Honestly I couldn't ever get bored staring at her.

"Stop just looking at me, we've got only one minute," I teased and Naomi chuckled in response.

"Nothing happened at home this morning I hope?" Naomi rubbed gentle circles on my back over the cardigan. Simple caring conversations; we could talk about anything.

"Nope," I shook my head, "Couldn't wake up." My fingers played with the loose strands of soft blonde hair at her nape, curling them absently around my finger.

"Good." Naomi brushed my fringe away from my eyes and gave a quick peck on my forehead. "By the way, why did your friends all look at me just now? It was quite – frightening, like I was scrutinized or something." Naomi knew I told them about us so it was no secret.

"Hmm? Oh! That was nothing – nothing at all." I flushed a little.

"Nothing?" She cocked an eyebrow, not believing me. "If it's _nothing_, you could tell me. Come on." She smirked and lightly jabbed her finger in my ribs.

I yelped, almost puppy-like, and made a feeble grab at her fingers. "No really, nothing! They were just being weird! Is this how you're going spend our short one minute? Tickling me!" I squirmed as she laughed and poked expertly and knowingly at my sensitive spots again. "You're horrible!"

I supposed our one minute was up long ago but we could spare a few minutes more. Just a few.

"So tell me," she pushed herself closer into me. I could smell the fresh leafy scent of her shower gel, which was causing my head to spin happily giddy.

"Alright!" I gave up and her fingers stilled. "They were – umm – they thought we were, umm… sexting." I muttered the last word as inaudibly as I could, feeling the heat on my face turn up a few notches.

A wide grin appeared and spread incandescently on her face as though she had suddenly thought of something brilliant.

"Now why would they think that?" She lowered her voice, making it go deeper and sexier and uttered into my ear. It was making my knees go weak and heart start to do somersaults. "Did you tell them someth –"

"No!" I cut in, pushing at her shoulders indignantly so that she wasn't so close. "They just thought – I didn't – we didn't – I mean – urgh!" I struggled to find words, getting my tongue tied and failing miserably to reduce the flush on my face.

Naomi threw her head back and laughed her delicious laugh. It was crazy how we were making such a loud noise in a single toilet and not caring about it. Then again, most of the students would be heading off to their classes.

"You're so fucking cute when you're all flustered." Naomi chuckled, placing her hands back on my hips and leaning in to kiss my right cheek.

I huffed, letting a small smile creep up on my lips as Naomi placed another kiss on my other cheek. I could never feel the slightest annoyance even if she tickled me delirious and called me cute after.

"Besides," Naomi continued, placing another kiss on my nose, "why would I need to sext when I could just do this."

I gulped hard as her eyes flicked to my lips and back to my eyes. The air around us suddenly turned thick and hot. Her irises took on a deeper shade of blue, an eminent smoldering look of want displayed; she stared straight into my eyes, piercingly, unflinchingly. I could feel her hot breath caress my lips as she exhaled a little shakily. My frantically thumping heart was rushing blood into my head. It was crazy how my body responds in this way every single time she's about to kiss me.

My brain ceased all proper functioning and coherence at the contact of Naomi's lips. She wasn't pushing hard or rushing it; it was very slow and soft. The first contact of her lips was delicate, soft; then pressure, little by little, almost imperceptible, pressing, pushing, till our lips were fully flushed, fused and connected. I shut my eyes tightly and clung on to her shoulders pulling her against me, feeling her push me impossibly closer against the door, her arms tightening around my waist and griping me firmly. Her body felt so damn good against mine. Her moist lips were leisurely sucking on mine, sending tiny ripples of pleasure permeating through my body. I moaned, a trifle too loudly as she started to swipe her tongue over and over across my lower lip, teasingly dipping the tip of her tongue in and out past my semi-parted lips. I was in fucking paradise, experiencing the most euphoric of sensations of my life. Every nerve in my body was tingling so hard, sending my body almost into a Naomi-induced spasm.

"Naomi," my voice was an octave lower and huskier. I half gasped half whispered her name in the heat of the moment, wanting more. My mind had only coherency for her name.

"Hmm." She hummed in a seemingly telepathic response and gently bit, sucked and pulled at my lip, pushing her tongue in my mouth. She felt so fucking good. She drives me crazy, so fucking crazy.

I took a deep breath, breathing in all of her. Opening my mouth, my tongue met hers as she flicked her tongue slowly against mine, still setting the pace. It was all so gentle, so sexy and so erogenous. Her hands stroked my back as I relaxed my tensed ones that were still clinging onto her shoulders and encircled it around her neck and using my fingers on one hand to thread through her soft hair rendering it messy, pulling her head closer than possible. One thing I learnt from kissing Naomi was that by fully relaxing myself, which I think sometimes I'm too tense, the experience would be far more mind blowing. We were properly snogging heatedly, in a tiny toilet, so terribly late for class. Not the best situation or location but this was by far the best snogging session, ever. Then again, each session seems to be breaking the previous record held. I can't keep count of the number of times the record was broken.

Naomi slowly pulled back, licking her lips. Her face was of one that was kiss-struck – flushed, radiant, beaming. Her brilliant blue eyes were shining and her pink lips were slightly swollen with a sheepish expression that was almost apologetic as though she thought she went a tad overboard with the kisses. She was so fucking beautiful. I was breathless, taking deep breaths of air from my nose, my head still swimming with the idea of what just happened.

Naomi giggled, the sort of giggle that just rang of delight and was music to my ears.

"Way better than sexting yeah?" She said, giving a satisfied and smug grin.

I laughed as pushed her a little, my eye landing on the only four letters on her dark brown t-shirt she was wearing: nsfw.

"I like your shirt." I pointed at the words and chuckled again.

"Yeah?" Her lips quirked into yet another mischievous grin.

"Yeah, suits you –"

Naomi tilted her head and started placing random fluttering kisses on my lips and jaw, keeping her hands flat on the door, firmly beside my head, confining me. I let myself get lost once again, all over again, half giggling and responding to her with my own way of tiny kisses.

My phone buzzed all of a sudden, startling us. I took a glance at it.

**Planning on getting here anytime soon? ;) – JJ**

"Shit! Look at the time! We're so late!" I cried out pushing Naomi backwards and starting to get flustered.

Naomi shrugged nonchalantly and pulled a cute pouty face as she tied her hair up into a ponytail as I collected my bag.

"See you after school?"

"Oh we've got a match today. You gonna come?" Naomi smiled.

"But you're not playing, are you?"

"Nope… I'll be with Coach and subs on the bench though."

"Then I'll see you after the match?" I asked hopefully.

"Uh, usually the team'll go out after that for dinner and drinks." She looked very apologetic. "I would ask you to come but…" She shrugged again, this time, it felt sad.

I was disappointed but I guess it was my fault since I wasn't out with Naomi yet. I tried hard to hide my disappointment. That's it, I shouldn't act like a possessive and clingy person that can't do without her girlfriend for the rest of the day.

Naomi took my hand in hers and entwined our fingers. That simple act made my heart smile. "Promise I'll text you when I can." She looked into my eyes unwaveringly with her honest blue ones.

"You don't have to," I gave her a tiny kiss. "I want you to enjoy yourself with your friends."

"Won't be the same without you though. Come on, we gotta go." With a tiny smile, she tugged my hand, pulling me away from the door and unlocked it, poking her head out first. Deciding that the coast was clear, we exited the toilet with my hand still in hers.

"Call you yeah." Naomi bent and pressed a quick kiss to my lips, turned and strode off in the direction of her class.

I watched her stride away from me, her demeanor confident, graceful, and beautiful. Sometimes I think I'm hardly even half as compared to her and whether she made a mistake with me. But when I remember the way she looks at me and kisses me, I reckon, that can't be a mistake; I must be just specially fucking lucky to have her.

I entered the class twenty minutes late. Muttering an apology to the teacher, I seated myself next to the reserved chair with JJ who was trying his best not to laugh out loud.

"Shut up," I whispered.

His smile just broadened and he gave a small shake of his head.

.

.

I sat sandwiched between JJ and Lara on my left and Panda and Thomas on my right. A quarter of the match had gone by but I had been barely paying attention. The noise produced by the crowd was deafening as usual but it seemed like I was completely in my own bubble. I wasn't quite as interested in the game. I think I could possibly be like one of those shallow female football fans where they only watch the match because of some hot guy like Fàbregas or Torres was playing. So I wasn't really watching the match because Naomi wasn't playing. I was watching her instead, shouting passionately and expressively over every play and foul with James somewhere behind her.

The other thing that got me all sullen and silent was witnessing a very hearty pre-match conversation between Naomi and Sophia. Obviously they weren't chatting anything related to the match and I know it shouldn't be such of a big deal but that didn't stop my stupid mind from over pondering, over imagining and bristling with the possessiveness of an over insecure girlfriend. It wasn't that I didn't trust any girl that spoke to Naomi; it was that I _knew_ or _felt _that Sophia liked Naomi and every touch or smile from her carried some intention to flirt with Naomi because she doesn't know Naomi's taken. And because it was my problem and I couldn't do anything about it right now, I sat glumly and bottled everything up.

"Move over."

I lifted my head to find Effy and Freddie squeezing past JJ's legs, nudging my leg with hers, and motioning me to move. I shuffled to my right, also nudging Panda to give some room, finally vacating just enough space to fit both Effy and Freddie.

Effy's whole right side and arm was pressed flushed against me. I couldn't move at all; there wasn't room to shift away her yet it wasn't uncomfortable. It was strange. I hardly ever talked to Effy. We only "knew" each other through Naomi, so this, coming to sit amongst us was weird. Apparently there wasn't any weirdness between JJ and Freddie as they struck up a conversation instantly.

Effy was carrying a medium sized tub of popcorn. She sat and popped one in her mouth, wearing an almost expressionless and bored look like she was watching a dreary movie instead of an exciting basketball match.

"Want one?" She tilted the tub at me, eyes still focused on the match as though it was fascinating and she couldn't take her eyes away.

I gave a tiny shake of my head and she readjusted the tub on her lap and continued snacking on it.

I had nothing to say to her. I racked by brain to think of something to say but still came up with nothing so I gave up searching for a decent interaction since Effy hadn't even bothered. We sat for a bit being perfectly unsociable and taciturn but it was disconcertingly comfortable.

I was no longer watching the match properly. Instead, with my elbows on my knees, I rested my head on the palms of my hands and watched Naomi watch the match; occasionally flicking my eyes to the court to follow whatever Naomi was yelling about. There was nothing creepy or wrong about it; I reckon I was allowed to. My mind played back to our short toilet escapade earlier on.

"You want to shag her." A faint disembodied voice floated to my ears.

"What?" I blinked and snapped my head to the source of the comment, finding her looking sideways at me with a tiny smirk on her face.

"Don't you." Effy stated and popped popcorn in her mouth and chewed, raising an eyebrow at me.

"What do you mean – no, I – no!" I stuttered, flustered, flabbergasted.

Effy gave an imperceptible shrug together with a faint expression of knowing disbelief before going back to her nonchalant look, watching the match and putting more popcorn in her mouth.

I wasn't shocked Effy knew about us because I bet Naomi and her were close too talk about us. I was shocked that Effy could read me like an open book. I wanted to know why she said that and how did she know my deepest undeniable thoughts. I mean – I don't _know_ her, so how did she know me enough? Was I that easy to read? Or what did she mean by wanting to shag Naomi? She knew that we hadn't? Does Naomi tell her _everything_ between us?

My mind was racing with questions. I gulped a couple of times trying to calm myself and possibly pose Effy one of the many questions.

"Relax. She didn't tell me anything," Effy said.

"I don't," I said after a short pause. "Maybe," I added. And suddenly it's like I've gone all confessional with Effy. I picked at the loose thread on my cardigan, trying to find something to occupy myself with and maybe avoid fully answering the question. "Does –" I looked at Freddie and Effy replied with a shake of her head, which I acknowledged with a couple of nods.

Effy went back on eating her popcorn and remaining silent again. How could she just sit there quietly when she's unsettled me? Then again, Effy truly wasn't conversational material. I figured if she wanted to say something, she'd say it. I didn't have anything to add either. I was content that this secret information was safe with her.

Effy and I remained in our seats when half time came. I texted Naomi something encouraging hoping she'd see it but from where I was, I could see that she was pretty occupied being in the midst of the strategizing of the match. I couldn't help but feel stupidly frustrated. I didn't even know why I was here; it wasn't even compulsory to watch the match. I could've just gone home, did some coursework and preoccupy myself with other things instead of sitting here beside someone completely unsociable, staring at my girlfriend being harassed by another girl which I could do nothing about. I'm being overly dramatic; I exaggerate. I stared at Sophia morosely. I yanked the loose thread and brushed it away.

"You know, you're right for her." Effy slightly inclined her head addressing me.

"Huh?" I snapped my head to her, meeting her blue eyes looking seriously at me. I heard her perfectly clearly but I wasn't sure what she meant.

"When you walked into her life, something changed." Effy paused, as though she were choosing her words carefully. "She changed. She can feel it, I know it. You just _get_ her, you can read her, even more than anyone did, in a way I don't. You made her live a little more, made her realise she could actually properly _love_ despite everything." I hung on to her quiet words. Somehow each one was clearly heard over the roar from the crowd. My heart thudded loudly through my chest as I took a deep breath.

Love? Naomi loves me? I mean I think I know that and I guess that would be true if you're in a relationship with someone. A relationship had to stem from something; a crush, an infatuation, then love, but somehow it never crossed my mind she actually loved me because she never said that to me. It's pretty much of a double standard since I hadn't said it to her either but I knew I loved her, wholeheartedly, for a long time.

I cleared my throat, finding it a little choked. "What if I'm just not perfect for her," I revealed my deepest fear. "What if she suddenly realises I'm not worth it…"

"You are. At least she thinks so. You mean a lot to her, if only you can just see it."

I nodded silently.

"Sometimes," Effy added, "You don't have to be perfect for someone. You just have to be right. You fit her perfectly."

I looked down at my shoes, taking in all that she said. Was Effy right that I fit her perfectly? That we fit perfectly? Effy didn't know me well; she didn't know us. So how could she say something like that? And the thing is, it felt true.

"You do know she's been with many girls right," Effy said, almost a little more quietly as though she was cautious on the effect of her words.

I nodded again; I did know that and was very much aware of that. I might have a hell lot of experience to catch up on.

The rest of the match was spent in silence again and I was contented to have that. Effy didn't seem to have anything to say again. Talking to her was therapeutic in a strange way. I felt more at peace then I was when the match started. Even when it ended and we won and Sophia hugged Naomi longer than necessary, I shut my heart to jealousy, possessiveness and insecurity and left for home feeling lighter than I'd ever been.

.

.

I tossed about in my bed for the umpteenth time. Getting to bed early wasn't quite a good thing. Naomi said she'd text but she hadn't. I know I should just try to forget about it and get some sleep but my mind was running in circles refusing to tire. I just wanted to know she was home safe and sound before I sleep. I was pining so hard for some form of contact with Naomi. I missed her so much that I think it was unhealthy.

I pulled out my phone from under the pillow. Shit, it was ten past eleven. I'd been awake for more than an hour! Fortunately Katie was still out god knows where or she'd be grumbling over the amount of noise my tossing was making. I inwardly cursed myself for my inability to switch my mind off when the digital clock on my phone turned 11:11. I remember someone once told me that the wish you made while your world turned between 11:11 and 11:12 will come true. Making wishes never hurt anyway, so I shut my eyes tightly and muttered, the same wish and want that has been on my mind, unceasingly under my breath.

I opened my eyes after estimating my one minute was up. Now what? I stared blankly at the dark ceiling feeling ridiculous.

"Text, you twat." I said out loud to myself, then sighing dramatically. Sometimes I hate how she makes me feel this way, like I can't live without her. I unearthed the teddy bear she gave me from under the duvet and squeezed it fiercely, taking my pathetic frustration on it. "You promised," I said to the bear, which stared back at me with the sad frown that I probably mirrored.

Exhaling a loud huff, I curled up on my side and returned the phone to the bedside table. With a decidedly tired yawn, I snuggled the bear near the crook of my neck and shut my eyes, feeling a sudden wave of tiredness wash over me.

I'd just about fallen asleep yet something bloody annoying was disturbing my peace. I reached out and grabbed my phone, silencing the shrill of the ring with my thumb sliding instinctively over the screen.

"Hello?" I said gruffly to the phone, trying hard to open my eyes. I was met with a loud cacophony over the other end that sounded like really loud music. I winced and pulled the phone away from my ear, squinting my eyes at the lit screen and registering the name of the caller. "Naomi?" I felt a tad more awake now, somehow.

"_Emily!"_ She yelled into the line as though we were shouting at each other from across a busy street. She muttered something inaudible. Then I heard a, _"Hold on!"_

After a few seconds, which I had sobered up considerably, excited and annoyed at Naomi at the same time, I heard a sound that resembled the slam of a door over the line.

"_This better?"_ She asked. It sounded like she was in a small toilet from the reverb of her words. _"Clear?"_

"Yes."

There was a pause, as though we were both unsure who should be the one speaking first.

"_Did I wake you up?"_

"Where are you?"

Naomi chucked, _"I'm at a shitty pub. The girls are drinking themselves crazy and I all I want to do is leave."_

"Why don't you then?" I frowned, thinking we could have met if she could leave early.

"_They wont let me but soon. I kept thinking about you. I miss you. Wish you were here."_ She said it clearly, bluntly, without stumbling over her words.

She was either slightly drunk or terribly sober. Either way, I knew she meant it. A small smile sprang onto my lips, completely erasing all previous annoyances. A warm flutter of gladness spread over my chest and I smiled crazily into my phone.

"Me too," I whispered the words, thinking she possibly couldn't hear them. I started to absently stroke the teddy bear's fur.

"_Yeah?"_ I could hear a certain distinct smile in her voice, which let me know this was mutual. _"Were you sleeping? I hope I didn't wake you…"_

"No not really, I was doing something before you called," I lied.

"_Good, good…"_ she trailed off. _"So what did Eff want?"_

"What do you mean?"

"_I saw her sitting with you at the match."_

"You saw me? I mean, us?" I spluttered.

"_Of course I was looking at you silly." _Naomi gave a short laugh. _"You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you, you're like heaven to touch, I wanna hold you so much." _She spontaneously sang, her words with just a bare hint of a slur and laughed after that. I'm sure that this must have something to do with the alcohol but I wasn't complaining, tipsy singing Naomi was so adorable and she had one fucking gorgeous voice. I swooned, laughing together with her, my smile turning into a wide grin.

"You're drunk," I joked.

"_Nope, only had a couple of beers,"_ she protested. _"What did Eff want anyway? She hardly watches the matches."_

"She just wanted to have a little chat about us," I said. Technically, 'chat' wasn't quite it but I didn't want to delve into the details.

"_Oh yeah, she might have had a part to play in bringing us together."_

"She does? How so?" I felt a little alarmed at this bit of information and wondered exactly how long Effy knew about us.

Suddenly there was a loud banging coming from Naomi's end, which sounded like someone was banging on the door.

"_Argh, some fucker wants to use the toilet,"_ she grumbled irritably. _"Give me a minute."_

I heard the door get thrown open and a flurry of noises followed, which sounded like a bit of shouting from Naomi. I adjusted myself on the bed so that I was lying on my back with the phone right beside my ear. I gave a little stretch and stifled a yawn noting that it was already past twelve. It didn't matter; my girlfriend called and sang to me, nothing else mattered.

"_Naomi!"_ I heard a chorus of voices from over the line. _"Where were you?" _More noise and music followed.

And a few seconds later, I heard questions. _"Where are you going? Who are you calling? Come back here!"_

"_Oh fuck off,"_ I heard Naomi clearly over the line, _"I'm talking to my girlfriend."_ There was a faded round of cheers and whistles. I giggled at Naomi's grumpiness and felt a little elated at her declaration that she was no longer single. Now the other girls can back off.

"_Hello?"_ Her voice came slightly apologetic over the line again after a pause. _"Sorry about that. Where were we?" _There was more background noise than before but her voice was still audible.

"Sure you don't have to get back to them?" I asked with a little laugh yet I knew I didn't want this time together to end. I wished I could hold this moment in my hands so I could stop the world from moving and the clocks from turning. I wanted to lock this time just for us. Although she was just a distant voice away, our connection with each other was still evident to me. I hope I wasn't the only one feeling this.

"_Nah they can wait for a bit. I want some Emily-time. This time is ours."_

Somehow those words sunk in snugly into my heart. This was my time with her, frozen just for me. I was motionless, suspended on the strand of static that separates us with a smile etched on my face.

"I wish you were here."

She didn't respond; I couldn't see her but I knew she was smiling too and silence also paints beautiful pictures.

"_What're you doing on Sunday?"_ She asked. I heard her smile.

"Nothing much yet why?"

"_Can we go somewhere?"_

"Where?"

"_Anywhere. Your turn to pick."_ The smile was still there, with a soupçon of cheekiness.

I laughed, "Okay." I can never get used to Naomi blatantly asking me out. We shouldn't get used to things like this. I never want the spark of excitement of meeting her to go off, ever.

"Great! I think I'll need to get back before they drag me over." There was a hint of reluctance in her voice that was somewhat mirrored by my pout she can't see.

"Don't stay too late, be safe." I replied, automatically cringing, feeling that I sounded like a protective mother. "I miss you, I can't wait." I added, impulsively.

"I miss you too." Naomi said softly, sincerely, affectionately. "Sleep tight, Emily."

Then there was silence. No six rounds of goodbye's or telling each other to put down first. I loved her for being simple like this.

But three words hung precariously at the tip of my tongue. They threatened to fall out before we hung up but I kept them in, coddled at the curve of my tongue.

"I love you." I spilled the words into the dark room quietly like a passing whisper.

I've never felt so terrified and so liberated in my life.


End file.
